Arieen sat on a nearby wall with Arturia, booze and popcorn in hand. Next to them, Sieg watched silently as the two factions began their violent, if rather short lived battle to the death.

"Booze?" offered Arieen to Sieg.

"How can you stand to watch this?" he said, disturbed.

Arturia and Arieen both shrugged.

"We've seen worse," said Arturia.

"Much worse. At least this era is cleaner than the one we grew up in. The amount of body order alone would make you gag," said Arieen sagely.

"Don't remind me," said Arturia, openly grimacing. Ever since she had woken up, she had originally been shocked to the core at how much nicer it smelled. Or how seriously people took their bathing habits.

Here she had thought Arieen to be the odd man out, because out of all her knights Mordred had smelled the least offensive. That and her wit had made her Arturia's secret favorite to deal with, at least until the mess with the rebellion happened.

Sieg stared at them both.

"Let me put it this way...most of the knights back in Camelot thought that if they got rained on they wouldn't need to bath for another three months if they were lucky," said Arieen dryly. "Even the women rarely bathed more than once a month if that. There's a reason why girls were encouraged to marry young, and that was to increase the chance of their bloodline surviving."

Sieg looked very disturbed and at the same time fascinated.

"Oddly enough, Arieen was often asked for at the births of children, because they had an increased survival rate. It was one of the most unusual requests I've ever had for one of my knights, but she never seemed to mind so I allowed it. Most of the men were bemused that one of them was apparently trained as a midwife," said Arturia.

"Odd my ass. I used modern knowledge of birthing and a bit of magic to insure those kids lived to see their fifth birthday. Word spread after the first incident and I eventually got a reputation for being good at keeping both mother and child alive," said Arieen scoffing.

"What did your mother think of that?" asked Sieg.

Arieen tossed back her drink, then immediately pulled out a vintage that was so strong it made his liver quiver at being that close.

"Word of the wise, never bring up Morgana around Arieen. She still hasn't forgiven her for the truth of her conception," said Arturia sagely.

Sieg wisely kept his mouth shut after that. He would have to get the story later, if there was a later.

"Arieen, what is your wish?" asked Sieg. He was desperate to change the subject.

Arieen was still trying to kill her liver, so Arturia told him.

"Arieen wishes to pull the sword from the stone," said Arturia.

"Sword?" said Sieg, confused.

"Contrary to popular belief, there are actually two swords tied to my legend," said Arturia. "The one I'm most famous for is Excalibur, the Sword of Promised Victory. However, the one that set me on the path of king was Caliburn."

Seeing the confused look on Sieg's face, Arturia had a soft smile on her face.

"Arieen's wish is to prove her worth as a king by pulling that same sword from the stone."

Sieg was really confused now.

"During the battle of Camlann, I am ashamed to admit I did not acknowledge her worthy of being a king. After my awakening, I've come to realize I was wrong and that the circumstances of her birth were meaningless in terms of being a King."

Sieg still didn't get it, but wisely dropped the subject...again.

Some time later...

Arieen and Arturia said nothing as Sieg took up the sword Rider (Astolfo) gave him...and used the command seals on his hand to become an incarnation of Siegfried.

There was no telling what would happen once the command seals were used up, but the fact that he could pull that off was all the evidence they needed that Sieg never would have had a normal life.

That being said, Arieen felt strong pity for Astolfo, because his original master was a real piece of work. The woman was clearly a sadist, and a nasty one at that.

Arieen slapped Sieg on the back with good cheer, which caused him to stumble slightly.

"This is why I love observing the Grail Wars up close. Nothing quite like a proper full scale battle to reveal the true resolve of man!"

Astolfo stared at the two for a moment, before he beamed at her.

"I agree!" he said cheerfully. "Though why do you two look like Saber of Red?"

"Long story, not to be told without booze," said Arturia immediately, causing Arieen to nod enthusiastically.

"Is booze the only thing you can think of?" asked Sieg honestly.

"Nah. Sometimes I think of having a threesome with my girlfriend and a Magus who might as well be called Rapunzel for all the time he spent in that damn tower," said Arieen with a straight face.

Arturia snickered at that, as Merlin was never going to live that nickname down.

Astolfo eyed the two, before a wide grin filled his face.

"Any chance you'd be willing to share the booze? Dealing with her is enough to make even a saint drink."

"Sure!" said Arieen, handing over a decently sized bottle of fairy wine.

Astolfo brightened when he realized what it was.

"So what now?"

"We're mostly here to watch the show, not get involved unless extenuating circumstances are involved," said Arieen flatly.

"Does Ruler know?" asked Astolfo.

"She caught me and the other Saber playing during the day and got mad...then she had go quietly have a headache because she realized who I was," said Arieen cheerfully. "I swear, the girl would have been much happier getting laid at some point."

~*~*~*

In Fuyuki

Merlin looked at the bedraggled group that had returned. While they had successfully rescued Saber, they had lost Caster in the race outside the church.

Though the fact Miyu existed in an alternate where she was a magical girl with Illya's alternate had the girl eager to track down said girl and spoil them both rotten.

It would be a fun way to celebrate their new knighthood...while at the same time helping her alternate and Miyu on their love life. She had little doubt they'd be just as enraptured with the kingdom as she had been when she first woke up. That and to have some fun time with Shirou and Sakura.

Archer...was mostly bemused by the fact this Shirou was not as oblivious to the opposite sex, and was more willing to put his foot down.

Gilgamesh was going to be a headache and a half to deal with, and honestly Shirou didn't want to bring him back. Archer would be a better match for Arturia.

Saber was deeply unsettled being around Merlin again. Especially since he was still clearly alive and not a servant like her.

"I must inquire as to why you three are so...familiar...around me," said Saber.

Shirou looked to the others. Merlin gave him a nod of approval, as it was highly unlikely Saber would survive this war anyway.

"Mordred faked your death at Camlann, built her own kingdom, and converted the real Arturia into a full fairy. They're currently playing observer in another Grail War taking place in an alternate version of Earth as a family vacation," said Shirou with a shrug.

Archer and Saber blinked, almost in odd unison.

"Could you repeat that?" he said.

"The King of Knights and the King of Chaos are currently having a family vacation playing peanut gallery in a greater grail war one alternate over," said Merlin helpfully. "Then again Arieen would likely be very, very bored waiting for us to return, so I'm not surprised they went."

Shirou however happened to answer a call, and he gained some rather amusing expressions, before settling on dark glee. Illya was on him in an instant, sensing blackmail.

"Who was calling?" asked Merlin.

"Iris, and she had some rather...amusing...news."

"Oh? Did the potion slip up and now Waver is expecting?" said Merlin with dark amusement.

"Oh, someone is expecting alright," said Shirou. "But I know they won't like me ruining that surprise. Especially since it would give the father too much of a head start."

Merlin grinned at that, thinking Waver had gotten Hermione pregnant instead.

Archer waited until they went to scout out Berserker before he asked...

"Merlin knocked someone up, didn't he?"

"Scathach just found out she's pregnant," said Shirou with dark glee. He was using a special artifact that insured they couldn't be overheard, mostly to prevent Merlin from making a quick escape. "He's been sleeping with both her and Arieen, since those two are all but married anyway."

"Wait...Scathach is married to Mordred?" said Archer.

"Oh trust me, we are absolutely recording this drama the second we get back," said Shirou, rubbing his hands with glee. "And while they're not married in the traditional sense, but they've been lovers for centuries now and they're practically married in every other sense. Besides, Arieen is a fairy...it's not like she gives a damn about things like marriage."

Archer conceded that. A fairy had different morals when it came to their partners. For them to still be together across centuries meant they were pretty much married anyway.

"What are the odds he's going to bolt when he finds out?"

"She has already made it clear she plans to make him target practice for this, even if she was a willing participant from what I was told," said Shirou. "I have a firm policy of 'not my problem' so long as they aren't screwing each other in front of me."

Shirou suddenly winced as memories of times he had stumbled across them came back. He had thought he repressed them by now too.

~~*~*~*~

Arieen was cackling her ass off, because she had just gotten the same call from Hermione who was equally amused.

Jeanne looked somewhat bewildered, as they were still cleaning up from the fight with the golem.

"What's so amusing?"

"Merlin got Scathach pregnant, and now she's out for blood. He's going to be her target practice until that kid pops out of her," said Arieen with glee.

"Say what now?" said Mordred. "Merlin's alive?"
"Yup. Illya's been calling him Rapunzel because of how long is hair is and the fact he was trapped in a tower for so damn long," said Arieen. Mordred started busting a gut laughing her ass off at the mental image.

"Who's Scathach?" asked Seig.

"Scathach, as in the immortal Queen of the Land of Shadows," said Jeanne. "Also Arieen's consort."

She remembered Scathach, who had been more than happy to give her some help with some of her lance techniques. Intense woman, but one that was more or less devoted to Arieen. Even if they weren't formally married by the church, Jeanne could acknowledge they were still a couple.

"Hold on...as in the same Scathach that taught the Hound of Ulster? That one?" said Mordred, staring.

"Yup," said Arieen pleased. "I have pictures of my 'coronation', which was really more of a party recognizing I had come back to reclaim the throne that I left in the hands of trusted stewards."

Mordred whistled a bit when she saw Scathach all dolled up and in her full royal glory. Arieen was a lucky woman, and it was obvious the two loved each other.

"So on a scale of one to completely screwed, where does Merlin stand?" asked Mordred grinning.

"He's going to be used as target practice, but he understands that the most we'd expect of him is to at least take an active role in the kid's life. After all, he's mostly a third party in an already established relationship to spice things up," said Arieen shrugging. "Not like I have much room to talk since I made a point to leave my son with his father once he was old enough to be considered a young man."

She still hadn't confirmed she had become her own ancestor though.