Part IV

Mr Mxyzptlk hovered near the bridge's ceiling and looked down at the softly glowing computer stations, wrinkling his nose and peering over the heads and shoulders of the busy officers he found there.

"Sheesh, this place is like a beehive," he muttered. "All this busywork, and for what? The ship practically runs itself. And, talk about Lower Decks! There's not a named cast member in the bunch. Where's the android who sits up front? Where's the hot alien mind reader and her bearded boyfriend? The captain's not even here!"

Mxyzptlk cupped his chin in a frustrated pout and floated up toward the observation dome, his mischievous mind churning.

"Funny thing about human beings. How they can be so oblivious to their own surroundings. Like how they haven't noticed me here! Seems they have this habit of looking down or straight ahead, but it's a rare one who tends to look up!"

The imp grinned wickedly and disappeared, leaving the bridge crew to gasp and flail as the artificial gravity cut out and their feet left the floor.

He reappeared in the adjacent Observation Lounge, where a delicate rainbow shimmer caught his eye: an ancient statue of a winged woman with four arms.

"McGurk?"

The little man popped onto the polished table to peer more closely at her face.

"Ooh, lookey what we have here!" he said. "You've been out in the cold for a long time, haven't you, darlin'. Well, don't you worry. Mxy's here to warm you up!" He rubbed his hands together, his flinty eyes gleaming. "C'mon, McGurk! Let's have some fun!"

"We still have to prepare for the scheduled crew rotation," Riker said, watching as Picard rose from his chair and headed for the corner replicator for a fresh cup of—

"Earl Grey," the captain ordered. "Hot."

The machine hummed and a swirl of golden sparkles quickly coalesced into his favorite fragrant tea. Carrying the cup and saucer back to his ready room desk, he said, "Yes, Number One. That is why I want all crew evaluations finished early and submitted by the time we arrive at the symposium."

"Understood, sir. The counselor and I will get right on it."

"Good." The captain took a slow sip of tea, then glanced at his first officer through the steam. "Then, if there's nothing else, I will—"

Muffled shrieks and cries burst out from the bridge. Picard set his tea down and the two officers strode for the sliding doors – only to find themselves floating into the air the moment they crossed the threshold.

"What the devil is going on here!" the captain demanded, tugging at the hem of his tunic as he struggled to maintain a dignified posture in zero gravity.

"We don't know, sir," a rather frazzled lieutenant reported, grasping the ops chair for leverage as she struggled to read the display screens. "It seems only the bridge has been affected, but computer diagnostics show all environmental controls are functioning normally. The gravity should be working. I don't understand—"

The captain slapped his combadge.

"Picard to Engineering!"

The whooshing sounds of the wind and sea met his ears, overlaid with marine bells and crying gulls.

Picard tried again, then again to get through, each time getting a different set of sound effects. A dripping rainforest. The whistles, clicks and clacks of a colony of Rigelian mountain cats…

"Enough of this. Q!" he shouted, raising his eyes toward the ceiling. "Q, if you're behind this, I demand you—"

"No! Not Q," came a harsh, familiar voice. "Mxyzptlk!"

"Mixyez…what?" Riker squinted.

The little man in the dapper purple suit appeared with a pop, bobbing in the air between the angry captain and his befuddled first officer and looking particularly smug.

"Mx-yz-pt-lk," the imp sounded out, stretching the name for Riker's benefit. Smirking at Picard, he pointed a thumb a Riker and said, "Not too quick on the draw, this one, is he. I can see why you picked him to be your number two. It's easier to look brilliant when your lackey's two cents shy of a quarter."

"All right, just who the hell are you and what are you doing on this ship," Riker demanded. He tried to draw himself up, but that's a tricky move in zero gravity. He had to catch his foot on his chair to keep himself from spinning.

Mxyzptlk snorted.

"Surely you've heard of imps," he said. "Genies, leprechauns, faeries…"

"Are you telling us that's what you are?" Picard said warily.

"Hey, every tall tale's gotta sprout from at least one seed of truth or no one would pay attention!" the little imp said. "But you guys seem a bit past the genie stage, what with your fancy spaceship and all. Just think of me as a super-superior being from the 5th Dimension."

Picard set his jaw.

"So…what are you saying," Riker said. "You're the inspiration behind all those fairy tales and myths? Don't tell me you've come to grant us three wishes."

"Nah, that granting wishes gag was fun for a few centuries, but it gets pretty old popping in and out of bottles and rings and lamps and other trinkets you humans so carelessly leave lying around. I came to find McGurk."

"Who is McGurk?" Picard asked.

"What's a MacGuffin?" the little man shot back. "Call it a device I use to get to where I want to go. No explanation needed. But now I've found the McGurk I've been looking for, I think this game's shaping up to be a lot of fun!"

"Is that what this is? A game?" Riker said, and shook his head in exasperation. "Where have I heard this before…"

"And if we choose not to participate in this…game?" Picard said.

"Oh, you'll participate," Mxyzptlk said, his gaze turning sharp. "You'll participate or I'll change every molecule of breathable air on this ship into itty-bitty-teeny shards of glass."

"You wouldn't," the young lieutenant gasped, and instantly covered her mouth.

Mxyzptlk regarded her.

"OK. So, I wouldn't," he said. "But I could do something just as nasty and even more creative if you all don't play along."

"If this is to be…a game," Picard said grimly. "Then, there must be rules."

"Gah!" The little man rose toward the ceiling with his hands in the air. "What is it with these rules! All the time with you guys it's rules, whether it's Superman or you or that ungrateful miller's brat, I don't know…"

He sank back down to Picard's eye level and placed his hands on his hips.

"OK, Cap, you want rules, here's the rules," he said. "You get me to say, spell, draw, skywrite or otherwise display my name backwards three times – in a row! It's gotta be three in a row. No breaks or insertions. Do that, and I'll go. Poof! It'll be as if you never even heard of me. But if you don't, it's playtime here on this ship for as long as I want. Basically, until I get bored and decide to go. So, do we have a deal?"

"Hold on," Riker said. "I can barely say your name forwards! How are we supposed to get you to say it backwards three times?"

"That's not my problem. Well, Picard? Whaddaya say?"

Picard clenched his teeth and turned his gaze to the stars streaking past on the viewscreen.

"If this is the only way to get you to leave this ship, then it seems we don't have much choice," he ground out.

"Then, it's a deal, Cap," the little imp said, pumping Picard's hand. Turning his head, he shouted, "Hey, McGurk! Look's like we're on, baby! Let the game begin!"

The little man vanished, and the floating bridge officers fell to the carpeted floor with various startled grunts and moans. Picard picked himself up and glared at his first officer.

"Find Mr. Data and Mr. La Forge," he ordered. "We need a plan to get that being off this ship now, before this 'game' of his can go too far."

To Be Continued…

References Include - TNG: Hide and Q; Superman: The Animated Series - Mxyzpixilated.

More of Mxy's madness will be coming up soon. Let me know what you think so far! Please review! :D