Chapter 7: Parent Fight Protocol

The next day at the Loud House...

(Lynn Sr. got up from the couch and went into the kitchen, where his wife was doing the dishes, and attempted to talk to her.)

Lynn Sr.: "Hey, Honey...how was work?"

(Rita ignored her husband and just continued washing the dishes.)

Lynn Sr.: "Honey...why won't-"

Rita: "Stop calling me that."

Lynn Sr.: "Dear...I just want to talk."

Rita: "Do you not remember what happened yesterday?"

Lynn Sr.: "Rita...what was I supposed to do?...Let that Santiago boy stay with us for the next nine months?!"

Rita: "I expect you to be more supportive of Lori's decision...weather she decides to leave or not!"

Lynn Sr.: "Look...Lori made her choice, and now she's dead to this family!"

Rita: "Ugh! I can't believe you!"

(Rita walks back to her room in a huff. Lynn Sr. smacked his palm on the fridge in frustration, just as Lisa happened to walk in.)

Lisa: "Um...is this a bad time, Father?"

(Startled, Lynn Sr. turns to face Lisa.)

Lynn Sr.: "Oh...Lisa...hey- what do you need?"

Lisa: "I believe I have a hankering for a cookie, Father."

Lynn Sr.: "Oh, okay...fine. Here...just take the jar."

(Lynn Sr. grabs the cookie jar off the counter and slams it down on the kiddie table.)

Lisa: "Father...your behavior is causing significant concern for this family."

Lynn Sr.: "Uh...Look...I'm sorry. I just need some time alone, so why don't you run along upstairs, okay?"

Lisa: "Father...you just haven't been the same since Lori left!"

Lynn Sr.: "Never mind that, young lady...and while you're up there, you'd might as well tell your sisters that as of now, this house is under Parent Fight Protocol...now go!"

(Shaken, Lisa runs upstairs with the jar, while Lynn Sr. facepalms in regret.)

Lynn Sr.: "Well, that's just great."

(Meanwhile, the remaining Loud sisters were in Lori and Leni's room discussing yesterday's chain of events, while Leni was crying over Lori leaving.)

Lana: "So...how bad is it?"

Lisa: "It's a mess down there. Lori's out of the house, Father is mad at all of us, he and Mother aren't speaking to each other, and now Lori's considering moving into Bobby's house."

Leni: (Sobs) "Leni SAD!"

Lucy: "Sigh...it's a sad day for all of us."

Luna: "Well, maybe none of this would've happened if that bum hadn't knocked her up in the first place!"

Luan: "If he wanted to plant his seed, he should've just taken up gardening, instead! (Laughs) Get it?"

(The other Loud sisters groaned in response.)

Lynn: "How can you think of telling jokes at a time like this?"

Luan: "I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Lana: "Can't you see we're in the middle of Parent Fight Protocol?"

Luan: "Tough crowd..."

Lola: "What do we do?"

Lisa: "We just need to stay in our rooms and hope for the best."

Luna: "I'm gonna go check on Lincoln."

(Luna went into Lincoln's room to find him trying to contact Clyde, via his walkie talkie.)

Lincoln: "Lincoln to Clyde...Lincoln to Clyde...can you hear me?"

(There was no reply on the other end.)

Lincoln: "Lincoln to Clyde...please respond."

(There was still no response. Lincoln was getting worried.)

Luna: "You trying to contact Clyde, little bro?"

Lincoln: "Yes, but there's no reply at all."

(Luna takes Lincoln's walkie and yells into it.)

Luna: "Is anybody listening?!"

(Even Luna's attempt didn't produce an answer from the other end.)

Luna: "Well...I've done all I could do, bro."

Lincoln: (sigh) "I guess I'm gonna have to go to his house."

Luna: "Be careful heading downstairs- Mum and Dad aren't in the best of moods."

Lincoln: "Thanks, Luna."

(Lincoln leaves his room and heads downstairs.)

Lincoln: "See ya, Dad! I'm off to see Clyde!"

(Lynn Sr. was on the couch, paying no mind to Lincoln.)

Lynn Sr.: "Sure thing, Son."

(Lincoln walks out the door.)

Later, outside the McBride house...

(Lincoln walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell. Clyde answers it, looking upset.)

Lincoln: "Clyde? Why didn't you-"

(Clyde just shut the door before Lincoln could finish his sentence, so Lincoln knocked until Clyde opened it again.)

Lincoln: "Clyde!...what's the matter? Why did you shut me out?"

Clyde: "What's the matter?! My love life just ended!"

Lincoln: "Clyde...I'm sorry things didn't work out for you yesterday, but I really need your help! My parents haven't spoken to each other since Lori moved out!"

Clyde: "I don't even want to hear your sister's name! Dr. Lopez told me to let go, and that includes having you and your sisters out...of...my...LIFE! If your parents are fighting, that's YOUR problem, Loud!"

(Clyde tries to shut the door, but Lincoln blocks it.)

Lincoln: "Clyde...please!"

Clyde: "Look...I would rather not associate with someone related to a heartbreaker...okay?!"

Lincoln: "Geez...you're starting to sound like Bobby when he-"

(Clyde shoves Lincoln from the doorway in disgust.)

Clyde: "Don't you EVER compare me to that cheating...lowdown...Mexican...deadbeat...TRASH! You and I are through...through...and in case I didn't make myself crystal clear...THROUGH! Good DAY, Sir!"

(Clyde slams the door in Lincoln's face. Feeling defeated, Lincoln returns home.)

Lincoln: "That is SO not like him."

(Inside the McBride house, Clyde rests on his bed and pulls out the pictures of he and Lori at the fair. He pressed the photos to his heart, and cried.)

Clyde: "Oh, Lori...dear, sweet Lori...why did you have to do this to me?!" (Sobs)

(Upon hearing their son's despair, Howard and Harold go to comfort him.)

That night, at the Santiago house...

(Lori was in the kitchen getting a cooking lesson from Lydia, while Alex, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne were sitting in the dining room.)

Lori: "Hey...thanks for putting up with me for the day, Mrs. Santiago."

Lydia: "Gracias, Lori. I'm so sorry about that argument with your familia. By the way, what were you fighting about back at your casa?"

Lori: (Sigh) "I don't want to talk about it."

Lydia: "Oh, Lori...I understand. Children have fights with their parents a lot...I know you're mad at your papa about something, but I know deep down, he still loves you, and he cares for you."

Lori: "I still don't want to talk to him right now."

Lydia: "It's okay, Lori...these things take time."

(Ten minutes later, dinner was ready. Lori and Lydia sat at the table with Alex, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne.)

Bobby: "Hey, Babe. How was the cooking lesson?"

(Lori kisses Bobby's cheek.)

Lori: "It was...enlightening."

(Bobby stands up and wraps his arm around Lori's waist.)

Bobby: "Well...how's this for enlightening?"

(Bobby gently leaned in for a kiss.)

Alex: "Whoa, whoa, whoa...WHOA- careful now, Junior."

Bobby: "Relax, dad. What are you so worried about?"

Alex: "I just don't want any funny business in this house."

Lori: "It's fine, Mr. Santiago."

(Switching gears, Alex turned to look at Lori.)

Alex: "Did my son ever tell you about my hernia operation?"

(Caught off guard, Lori awkwardly responded.)

Lori: "Uh...actually, he did."

Alex: "Here. I'll show you the scar!"

(Alex stood up and lifted his shirt, revealing the scar on his stomach, which caused Lori to feel queasy.)

Lori: "Ugh...I have to use the restroom!"

(Lori rushes upstairs to the restroom to puke her guts out. Alex turns to Bobby, whispering to him.)

Alex: "Women...am I right?"

(Bobby said nothing and just kept eating.)

(Around midnight, Lori was awakened from a deep slumber by the sound of Ronnie Anne talking in her sleep.)

Ronnie Anne: "Please, don't hurt me...I'll do better next time...I promise..."

(At first, Lori figured she was just having a nightmare, but as she continued listening, she started to put two and two together. She turned over and stroked Ronnie Anne's head soothingly.)

Lori: "Don't cry, Ronnie Anne...Bobby and I will think of something...I promise."

(She laid back down, feeling burdened. She rested her hand on her baby bump and drifted off to sleep.)

The next day at the Loud house...

(Lincoln wakes up to find the upstairs hall empty. Just then, he heard his mother call out.)

Rita: "Lincoln...come downstairs! We need to have a talk!"

(Lincoln came into the living room where his mother and sisters were waiting.)

Lincoln: "What's going on?"

Rita: "Oh! Good, Lincoln...you're here."

Luna: "What's up, Mum?"

Rita: "Well, things haven't been getting any better in this house. Your father just refuses to come to terms with your sister's...uuuh...shall I say...absence."

(Leni cried when she heard that word.)

Rita: "Sooo...I've decided to take all of you to your Great-Aunt Ruth's for the day."

(Lincoln and the Loud sisters groaned. They didn't like visiting their Great-Aunt Ruth.)

Lincoln: "Great-Aunt Ruth's? Why there?"

Rita: "Well, on account of Parent Fight Protocol, I've decided it's best if I took you kids out of the line of fire for a bit while your father and I try to figure things out."

Lincoln: "Can't we just go to Pop-Pop's, instead?"

Rita: "Now, Lincoln...you know Pop-pop can't have that many visitors at one time- plus, you know how much your Great-Aunt Ruthie enjoys your visits."

(Lincoln highly doubted that.)

Lincoln: "Well...what if I was his only visitor?"

Rita: "Well, then, I guess I can take you there after we drop the girls off at Aunt Ruth's."

(Lincoln hugs his mother.)

Lincoln: "Thanks, Mom!"

Lola: "Lucky!"

Rita: "Lola...hush!"

Later, at Sunset Canyon Retirement Home...

(Rita drops Lincoln off at Sunset Canyon.)

Rita: "Have fun with Pop-Pop, Sweetie."

(Lincoln enters the retirement home, only to be greeted by someone he never wanted to see- the nurse, Sue.)

Sue: "Oh, it's you- let me guess...you want to see your Pop-Pop?"

Lincoln: "Yes...I do."

Sue: (sighs) "He's in his room. Follow me, Kid."

(Sue leads Lincoln to his grandfather's room, where he was playing chess with Bernie.)

Albert: "Checkmate, Bernstein! Looks like somebody's rackin' up quite a tab."

Bernie: "Oy vey. Why did I agree to this..."

Sue: "Albert!...your grandson's here!"

(Albert and Bernie turn to see Lincoln.)

Albert: "Lincoln! It's good to see ya!"

(Albert walks over to Lincoln and tussles his hair.)

Bernie: "Boy! Am I glad to see you! I was losing my trousers on account of that chess game."

Albert: "I could sure go for some pudding right about now...whatta ya say we head down to the cafeteria for some Tapioca?"

(Lincoln turns to the readers.)

Lincoln: "Well, it's not much...but it's better than Aunt Ruth's pudding- that's for sure."

(Later, at the cafeteria.)

Albert: "So...how are things back home, Lincoln?"

Lincoln: (Sigh) "Not very good."

Albert: "What's wrong, Kiddo?"

Lincoln: "It's my life...it's changing so fast, I can barely keep up."

Albert: "Ahh, come on...I'm sure it can't be that bad."

Lincoln: "It is! Lori moved out, Mom and Dad are arguing, Clyde doesn't want to be my best friend anymore, and now my house is under Parent Fight Protocol! It's just not fair!"

Albert: "Well, my boy...life often isn't."

Lincoln: "Yeah...I get it."

Albert: "So...tell old Pop-Pop what's goin' on."

Lincoln: "Well, it all started when Lori became pregnant with-"

(Albert was so shocked by what he'd heard, that he spit a mouthful of pudding all over Lincoln's face.)

Albert: "What was that?!"

(Stunned, Lincoln grabs a napkin off the table and starts wiping the pudding off his face.)

Lincoln: "It's true...Lori's pregnant with Bobby Santiago's child."

(Albert shook his head in disbelief.)

Albert: "Oh, I never thought I'd live to see that day again."

(Lincoln dropped his napkin and looked at his grandfather intently.)

Lincoln: "Wait...again?...what did you mean by that?"

Albert: "You mean your parents never told you the story of how Lori came about?"

Lincoln: "Well...no."

(Albert stands up and walks over to the window.)

Albert: "Well, given the recent turn of events, I think it's about time you knew."

(Albert clears his throat and prepares to tell Lincoln the story.)

OK, so the next chapter is gonna be a flashback chapter. Tell me what you think?