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Chapter 8: I Remember It All...
Flashback: Royal Woods, Michigan, 1998. Albert's P.O.V.
Albert: "The year was 1998. I remember it was near Spring's end. Clinton was in the White House, Frank Sinatra kicked the bucket, and your mother was working as a crossing guard."
(Albert was sitting in his favorite chair, watching TV with his sister, Ruth.)
Albert: "I lived in a condo- uh...I mean, house, with your mother and Great Aunt Ruth. It was just another typical day at home."
Albert: "Ruth...why do you insist on watching the Animal Channel when I have a World War I documentary tonight?"
Ruth: "Jesus! Al. Can't you see it's Fluffy's TV time?"
(Ruth motioned to the kitten lying on her lap.)
Albert: "Uuuuugh...why do you always put that cat first?"
Ruth: "Because he needs a lot of attention. He's just a kitten, for God's sake!"
(They continued arguing until Albert's 21-year old daughter, Rita, came home.)
Rita: "Dad...Aunt Ruth...I'm home!"
(Albert gives Rita a big hug.)
Albert: "Ahhh...welcome home, Honey!"
Ruth: "Hey...don't I get some sugar as well?"
Rita: "Of course you do."
(Rita walked over to Ruth and gave her a kiss on the cheek.)
Ruth: "Don't forget about Fluffy."
(Rita ran her nails along Fluffy's back.)
Albert: "So, how was work?"
Rita: "Well, I had a pretty rocky start...standing out in the hot sun, trying my best not to get anyone- or myself, injured. But, I hope to work all the kinks out for tomorrow."
Albert: "Good to hear, Rita."
Albert: "I was just settling back down when I heard your mother say something else."
Rita: "By the way...I met someone while I was on duty."
Albert: "Ohhh...that's...nice."
Ruth: "You got a man fella'? Hubba Hubba! You must bring him over sometime."
Rita: "Well, I wouldn't say man fella', per se. He's more of a...friend."
(While Rita and Ruth were talking, Albert became increasingly intrigued by the content of their conversation.)
Albert: "I was a little iffy about your mother dating a complete stranger, but I knew it was too early to judge this guy. So, I thought I'd give him a chance- after all, I hadn't even met him yet."
Albert's Condo, 3 weeks later...
Albert: "Then, after about 3 weeks, your mother finally introduced me and Ruth to your father."
(Albert was in his chair watching a World War II documentary and Ruth was on the couch, when the doorbell rang.)
Rita: "Coming!"
(Rita rushed downstairs and answered the door to see a brown-haired mustachioed young man in his mid-twenties, sporting a yellow jacket, green pants, and a white shirt.)
Man: "Hi, Rita! Am I late?"
Rita: "Oh, no, no...you're just in time."
(Albert and Ruth turned to face the newcomer.)
Albert: "So, you wanna introduce us to your young man?"
Rita: "Daddy...Aunt Ruthie...this is my boyfriend- Lynn Loud."
Lynn: (extending his hand) "Nice to meet you, Mr. Booke."
(Albert shot Lynn an intimidating glance.)
Albert: "From the very first impression, I took somewhat of a dislike to your father, but I decided to give him a chance before I rushed to judgement."
Albert: "It's nice to meet you too, Boy."
(Albert shakes Lynn's hand.)
Rita: "Well, I'm going to fix dinner. In the meantime, why don't you, Ruthie, and Lynn get better acquainted..."
Ruth: "Don't worry, Honey! I'm sure that your dad and boyfriend will get along just fine. (Turning to the men) Won't you, boys?"
Albert: "Of course, Baby Ruth."
Lynn: "Uhhh...I sure hope- uh, I mean...yes, Ma'am."
(Rita goes to the kitchen, leaving Albert, Ruth, and Lynn in the living room.)
Albert: "So...you're dating my daughter..."
Lynn: "Yes, Sir."
Albert: "Well...here's a word of advice. This isn't 'Nam. This is dating. There are rules."
(There was an awkward silence, before Lynn finally spoke.)
Lynn: "Soooo...where's Mrs. Booke?"
Albert: "Who?"
Lynn: "Your wife...Rita's mother."
Albert: "Oh...right. Unfortunately, my wife passed about a decade ago."
Lynn: "Sorry to hear that, Sir."
(There was another awkward silence, until Albert broke the ice.)
Albert: "Sooooooo...do you have any family?"
Lynn: "It's just me and my sister, Shirley."
Albert: "...and what about your folks?"
Lynn: "Nah...it's just us."
Albert: "Ok. I'm gonna switch gears here- speaking of which, you got any wheels?" (Laughs)
Lynn: "Sure do! I've got an old van-me-down from my dad! (laughs) Get it?"
(Albert chuckled at Lynn's joke, then nudged Ruth.)
Albert: "Looks like we got a comedian on our hands, Sis!"
Ruth: "Great! We sure could use one."
Albert: "Hey...whatta ya mean by that? You tryin' to say I'm not funny?"
Ruth: "Oh, no. Alls I'm sayin' is that you can never have too many."
(Ruth winked at Lynn, convincingly.)
Albert: "Ok...all humor aside, what do you actually do for a living?"
Lynn: "Well, I used to play the cowbell in a band- that is, until I got kicked out."
Albert: "Harsh...the CCR had a cowbell back in the day. It's a shame it couldn't make it into the '90s."
Lynn: "I know, right?"
Albert: "...but what about now? I mean...are you employed, Boy?"
Lynn: "Employed? Oh, uhhh...well, I do a few odd jobs to make ends meet."
Albert: "Well, what are you looking for? What do you like to do?"
Lynn: "Well, I can cook and bake."
Albert: "Interesting...how 'bout you do that the next time you visit?"
Lynn: "Oh, you've got a deal, Sir! Just wait 'til you try my famous Lynn-Sagna! (laughs) Get it?"
(Albert chuckled at Lynn's joke.)
Rita: "Dad! Come see what I made for dinner."
Albert: "Coming, Sweetie!"
(Albert got up from his chair and went into the kitchen, leaving Lynn alone with Ruth.)
(After several minutes of chatting, Albert, Ruth, Rita, and Lynn moved to the dining room. Albert was telling everyone yet another one of his Vietnam stories.)
Albert: "...and then I jumped from the jet onto a boat, and took out a bunch of NVA boys with my bare fists!"
Lynn: (chuckles) "Boy...after hearing these war stories, I know one thing for sure...
Albert: "Yeah? And what would that be?"
Lynn: "Well, I realized that I sure wouldn't wanna get on your bad side."
(Albert chuckled.)
Albert: "Well, I got news for ya'. I'm not the only one you gotta watch out for."
(Albert looked at his daughter out of the corner of his eye, clearing his throat.)
Rita: "DAAAD!"
Albert: "Oh, I'm just jokin' around, Pumpkin."
(Rita rolled her eyes and sighed in annoyance.)
(After dinner, Lynn got up to leave.)
Lynn: "Well...thanks for dinner, Mr. and Miss Booke."
Albert: "Not a problem, Boy. Come on, Ruthie. Why don't we let the kids have their privacy..."
(Albert and Ruth went into the living room.)
Ruth: "So what do you think of him?"
Albert: "Well...he's got charisma. I'll give him that."
Albert: "Your parents dated for 2 months or so. And during that time, your father and I also had fun of our own. We shared a lot of stories, went out on the town- and he even introduced me to the wonderful world of video games."
(A montage shows Albert and Lynn sharing stories in the living room, drinking at the local bar, and playing a shooting game at the arcade.)
Albert's condo, 2 months later...
Albert: "Then, came the the day I've been dreading...the day when your mother was feeling under...uh...under the weather."
(Albert was sitting in his favorite chair watching a Korean war documentary, when Rita came home looking worried.)
Albert: "I was just watching TV with Ruth when your mother came back home with a bag."
Albert: "Hello, Baby. Is something wrong?"
Rita: "No, Dad- nothing's wrong."
Albert: "What's in that bag?"
Rita: "It's nothing."
(Rita heads into the bathroom.)
Albert: A few minutes later, your Great-Aunt Ruth and I heard your mother crying in the bathroom."
Ruth: "What's the matter with her?"
Albert: "I'll go check. You just stay and...watch the Animal Channel."
(Albert knocked on the bathroom door)
Albert: "Rita? Is everything alright?"
Rita: "Go away!"
Albert: "Honey...open the door...I just wanna talk..."
Rita: "You can't come in!"
(Albert felt like he was getting nowhere fast.)
Albert: "Alright...then I'm gonna have to breach the room."
(Albert body slammed the door breaking it open, to found his daughter sitting in the corner, tears running down her face.)
Albert: "Rita...I need to know what's wrong."
(Rita wouldn't answer and continued to sob.)
Albert: "What I saw by the sink was one of the most shocking things I've ever seen to this day."
(Albert turned to the sink to see a pregnancy test. He picked it up and saw that it was positive. Shocked, Albert dropped the test, and with a blank expression, turned to look at his daughter.)
Albert: "No! This can't be! Rita!...how could you let this happen?!"
Rita: "I'm so sorry, Daddy!"
(Just then, Ruth appeared, feeling frustrated.)
Ruth: "Will you keep it down! Fluffy and I are-"
(Ruth stopped when she saw the test on the floor. Shocked, she turned to her niece.)
Ruth: "What the hell is going on?!"
(Later, Ruth and Rita were on the couch, while Albert sat in his chair, trying to process everything.)
Ruth: "Rita...your father and I never thought that you'd actually...do it."
Rita: "I'm sorry, guys. I was dumb to take it to the next level."
(Rita cried on her aunt's shoulder.)
Ruth: "Aw, Sweetie...it's okay. You know we can't change the past, so instead of looking back, why don't we focus on the next chapter...you're gonna be a mother. That's an exciting time in a woman's life...now it's time for you to embrace it."
Rita: (sniffles) "Thanks, Ruthie."
Ruth: "So...when are you gonna tell Lynn the news?
Rita: "What?! NO! I can't let him know! What if he thinks I'm a slut? What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore?!"
Ruth: "Look...even if he doesn't, at least you have a family that loves you and supports you all the way. Ain't that right, Albert?"
(Albert remained in a semi-catatonic state.)
Ruth: "Hey, Al? Big brother?"
(Finally, Albert spoke up.)
Albert: "To Hell with it- I'll tell him. Rita- wait for me in the car. I'm gonna get dressed."
(Albert got up from his chair with a start, while Rita jumped up from the couch in a panic.)
Rita: "Dad! NO! Please don't do anything crazy! This is between me and Lynn!"
(Unfazed by his daughter's pleas, Albert disappeared into his room.)
Ruth: "You'd better do as your dad says."
(Feeling defeated, Rita headed to her father's car. Moments later, Albert came back down, dressed in his old Navy SEALs combat uniform.)
Ruth: "OK, Al. Why ya' in ya' Navy getup?"
Albert: "I'm going into battle, Ruthie...cuz' that boy's entering a world of pain."
(Albert was almost out of the room when Ruth grabbed his arm.)
Ruth: "Woah there, Rambo! Ya' not gonna do anything cuckoo, are ya?"
Albert: "No, Ruthie. I just want to help Rita."
(And with that, Albert left like a man on a mission.)
Later, outside the Loud house...
(Albert and Rita arrived at Lynn's house in Albert's 1970s station wagon.)
Albert: "When we got to your father's place, I was eager to *Ahem* talk to him."
(As Albert got out of the car, Rita protested.)
Rita: "Dad...why are you doing this?"
Albert: "I just wanna talk to him, Sweetie."
(Albert reached into his bag and pulled out an M-16 before heading towards the door, with Rita tailing him.)
Rita: "Dad...why do you have an assault rifle?"
Albert: "I said I just wanna talk to him."
Rita: "Daddy- it was an accident!"
Albert: "I just...want...to talk to him."
Rita: "You can't kill him!"
(Albert loaded his rifle and kicked the door open, military-style.)
Albert: "I just wanna BLOW HIS NUTS OFF!"
(Albert aimed his rifle at Lynn.)
Lynn: "AHHH! Mr. Booke! What are you doing?!"
(Lynn threw his hands up.)
Albert: "Teaching you a lesson, you traitor!"
Lynn: "I don't want any trouble. Please, put the gun down!
Rita: "Daddy! DON'T DO THIS!"
(Albert pinned Lynn down with his foot, aiming his rifle to Lynn's chest.)
Albert: "You got my little Rita pregnant, Dirtbag!...and I'm gonna make you pay!"
(Albert cocked his rifle and put his finger on the trigger.)
Lynn: "WAIT! Before you open fire, can you at least let me talk to your daughter...just one last time?"
(Seeing the look in Lynn's eyes gave Albert pause.)
Albert: "You got 5 minutes, Boy...don't waste them."
(Lynn walked over to a teary-eyed Rita and put his hands on her shoulders, while Albert took a seat on the couch, still aiming his rifle at Lynn.)
Lynn: "Rita...you're carrying my child? Why didn't you tell me?"
Rita: "I was afraid you would break up with me."
Lynn: "But Rita...this changes everything. Listen, Honey...I don't need to be held at gunpoint to know that I'm gonna do right by you and our baby. In fact, there's nothing I'd want more than to be there for you."
Albert: "What your father did next really changed my attitude towards him."
(Softened by Lynn's sentiments, Albert slowly lowered his rifle.)
Lynn: "Look...I know I might be rushing things, but I can't think of a better time to ask you..."
(Lynn got down on one knee and held Rita's hand in his palms.)
Lynn: "Rita Booke...will you...marry me?"
(Rita covered her mouth and stared at the ring for a few moments before she answered, excitedly.)
Rita: "Yes! YES! Ten times, yes!"
(Rita embraced Lynn, giving him a long kiss. Caught up up in the moment, Albert's eyes started to well up with tears, prompting him to set his rifle down.)
Albert: "It was at that moment when I began to feel happy for your parents...and I knew I had to let your mother go."
Albert: "Rita...my little girl...I'm so happy for you!"
Rita: "Thank you, Daddy."
Albert: "And Lynn...you're a good soldier...and you...have my blessing."
Lynn: "Gee...thanks, Mr. Booke."
Albert: "Boy, Mr. Booke was my father. Just call me Pop. Now how about letting the old man join in!"
(Albert joins Rita and Lynn for a group hug.)
Albert: "I tell ya...your parents and I couldn't have been happier."
Royal Woods Church...
Albert: "Well, after about three weeks, the time finally came for your parents to get married."
(Albert was outside the groom's changing room waiting for Lynn to get ready.)
Albert: "Come on, Son...you don't want to keep your lovely bride waiting!"
Lynn: "I'm just getting myself groomed up!" (Laughs) "Get it?"
(A few minutes later, a cleanly-shaven Lynn came out in his tuxedo.)
Lynn: "Sooo...how do I look?"
Albert: "...like someone an old soldier like me would be proud to call his son-in-law."
(Lynn hugged his soon-to-be father-in-law.)
Albert: "I gotta tell ya...everyone was there. Harold was the best man, your aunt Shirley was the maid of honor...OH, I seem to have wandered off topic, haven't I? I'm just gonna cut to the chase and get to the crux of the matter."
Eight months later, Royal Woods General Hospital, 1999...
Albert: "Anyway, the big moment finally came around the spring of '99. Your Great Aunt Ruth and I were in the waiting room for a long time."
(Albert was pacing around smoking a cigarette, while Ruth was sitting down watching TV.)
Ruth: "Be careful, Al! You keep pacing, and you'll end up in China." (laughs)
Albert: (sarcastically) "Thanks for the warning, Ruth."
(A short time later, the doctor came out of the Maternity Ward.)
Doctor: "Mr. Booke?"
(Albert and Ruth turned to the doctor.)
Doctor: "Would you like to meet your granddaughter?"
(The doctor lead Albert and Ruth to Rita's room. Lynn was standing next to Rita, who was in her bed holding a pink bundle. In said bundle was a sleeping baby girl.)
Albert: "When I first laid eyes on your sister, your Aunt Ruth and I thought she was the cutest thing we'd ever seen."
Ruth: "Awww...she's beautiful."
Albert: "She sure is."
(Lynn looked at his daughter and noticed a little drool coming out of her mouth.)
Lynn: "Well, of course...that's because she's a spittin' image of her mother. (chuckles softly) Get it?"
Rita: "Oh, Lynn..."
(Rita rolled her eyes.)
Albert: "So, what's her name?"
(Lynn and Rita looked at each other, then spoke in unison.)
Lynn and Rita: "Lori."
Ruth: "Oh, that's a really cute name there."
Albert: "Really cute name, indeed."
(Lynn scooped up his newborn daughter and cradled her in his arms.)
Lynn: "Wow...you know...I'm feeling protective already."
Albert: "...and you always will. Just don't go makin' the same mistake I did."
Lynn: "Don't worry, Sir...I won't."
Albert: "Good...cuz' I sure wouldn't want history to repeat itself."
Lynn: (chuckling slightly) "Oh, I couldn't agree more."
Flashback ends...
Damn, that chapter was long! Well, it took over a month to do, but I have completed a backstory for Lynn Sr.'s dilemma.