Reviews:
LexiconHuka: My grandaddy did lose his nose to a parachute drop. Then again, it was shot off by a bullet.
Dragon'z Wrath: Affirmative. Over and out. OH! And I started reading your fanfic, A Stranger's Love, I gotta say, it's pretty good! (I liked your discription of the Library.)
iTealblast: Danke, and remember how to spell 'nice'.
AnalPoptarts: Only if it's a serious one.
Productive faffer: Ye found out about my alternate story! How?! (Yes, I am)
dthompson799: Thanks! I will definately stay awesome.
spartan1735: How would you react if I brought the one and only M. Chief into the story? Just curious.
Guest: WELL then!
"Twilight! Stand the hell down! I've got a wounded human here!" I shouted as she looked at me confusedly. "And don't question as to why I'm just wearing skivvies. Just, don't." I added, dragging the paratrooper (if the patch is authentic) further into the room, allowing Twilight to see him.
"What happened?!" She asked, hopping down from her bed.
"He crashed into the hallway through a window, landing on top of me. Help me get him onto the bed, sumbitch is heavy with all this gear." I grunted, not used to carrying two hundred pounds of unconscious meat and gear. With the help of a familiar purple aura, I managed to get the guy onto the bed, and proceeded to strip all of his shit off of him.
"What are you doing?" Lyra asked, popping up next to me.
"I'm checking for anymore wounds. It's possible that he could've been seriously cut up when he smashed through the window." I explained, wriggling him out of the parachute first.
'And I'm checking for other bullet holes, just in case.' I mentally added.
"What's that smell?" Twilight suddenly asked, holding a hoof to her nose. Lyra did the same after sniffing, and I subconsciously sniffed too.
"Sulfur. It's found around active volcanoes..." I trailed off at the end when I got a good look at his uniform.
'United States Army, 101st Airborne Division. Looks around WWII. Son of a bitch...' I thought.
"I'm pretty sure I know where he was when he died..." I muttered, slipping his shirt off.
"Where?" Lyra asked, having heard me due to being in very close proximity.
"An island in the Pacific called Iwo Jima. Our navy, marines, and army invaded it during World War II. One out of three men were casualties, mostly fatal. From the way he literally dropped in, I'm guessing that he didn't even feel the ground beneath his feet before he died." I explained, unlacing his boots and tugging them off to get his pants off.
'One does not simply remove pants before the boots, after all. Managed it once, but it took a bloody long time.' (True story, bro.) I thought, before sliding his pants off and searching his uniform for his wallet.
"What're you doing now?" Twilight asked, standing on the other side of the bed.
"Checking for this PFC's identification." I answered, pulling what I was looking for out of his trousers. Flipping it open, I took a quick look at his driver's licence before placing it on the nightstand and neatly put his pants with the rest of his shit.
'Alright. Name's Jeremy Williams. He's a Private First Class in the United States Army. Don't particularly get along with most of the Grunts, but I'll try my best to with him.' I thought, before looking back at Lyra.
"Lass, could you levitate his weapons to me?" I asked, holding an arm out. She nodded and passed them over, the grenades going first (which I was careful as fuck about), followed by his rifle and pistol.
"That's a bigass knife..." I muttered in German, slipping into my other known language. The unicorns were confused, but I ignored them. Instead, I detached the 16 inch bayonet from the end of Williams' M1 Garand, placing it next to the grenades and the pile of ammunition I made. I manually ejected the clip from it, getting a metallic 'ping' in response. The pistol was an M1911, which I unloaded it and popped the bullet that was in the chamber, also going next to the pile of weapons.
"That's a lot of stuff..." Twilight muttered, looking over the weapons.
"Psh. That's considered light. Paratroopers didn't hold nearly as much ammunition on them, as the rest was airdropped along with them." I said. "Should've seen what the German MG42 squads had in the way of bullets. THAT'S a lot of stuff. Probably about 300 bullets per belt, and every man in the squad had one to three belts, with usually five men per squad." I shuddered a little, thinking of all the spraying and praying one squad alone could do.
'Jeez. That would pretty much mean 'fuck you!' to whoever was on the receiving end of the barrel.' I thought, before flipping Williams over to check his back.
"Nope. Single bullet to the brain socket, just like I thought. He'll wake up soon feeling like hell, probably, but he'll be ticking like the rest of us." I finally said, putting him back on his back. After settling down in a chair, I looked at the unicorns.
"Yes?" Lyra asked, looking at me with a grin.
"You two might want to leave. If he wakes up and sees you two, there's no telling what he'll do. I'm safe, seeing as I'm a human." I said, waving them out. After they left, I had a thought and decided to get his measurements. Rather than look for a measuring tape, I simply slid on his uniform. The pants were a little short, where I could see my lower calves easily.
'He's 2 inches shorter than me. That'll make him 5'10"...' I thought, stripping out of his clothes and decided to wait for Rarity to inform her.
[Nighttime]
"Sumbitch's taking too long to wake up..." I muttered, having spent all bloody day in Twilight's room with the unconscious PFC. Rarity and AJ arrived earlier with a bigass plate of apple products, and I pretty much told them the same thing as I told Twi and Lyra. I also gave Rarity his measurements and quickly drew a new dress uniform for him, considering that he's pretty much forced into a wedding. They left without the food, and I spent the rest of the day field cleaning his weapons to keep myself from boredom, eating only when my stomach decided to let its discomfort known.
"How is he?" A voice asked, causing me to look up from my chair. Luna had half her body in the doorway, looking in cautiously.
"Still knocked out. I'm not a bloody medic, but I can tell that he's still alive. Just knocked out." I replied, putting the M1911 back together within seconds. Luna looked impressed with my skill in maintaining the very familiar pistol.
"That's remarkable." She said, closing the door behind her.
"Had one just like this, before I got a faceful of evil flower." I replied, blowing a speck of dust off of the trigger guard. I watched as Luna walked up to Williams and tapped his bullet wound with her horn, and whatever voodoo shit she did woke him the fuck up.
"AGH!" He screamed, clutching at his head. I was out of the chair and at his side like a bullet, forcing him back down.
"Calm down, soldier!" I shouted, holding him tightly. He looked around in confusion, while Luna hid from his eyes.
"W-Where am I?" He asked after a moment, looking at me. "And why aren't you wearing clothes?"
"I'm ignoring the second one for now. First off, you're safe, so don't worry about being attacked. Second, you're not on Iwo Jima anymore." I answered. "What do you remember about the drop?"
"Uh... I remember seeing a gun firing below us when I jumped, and a sudden pain in my forehead..." He said, before his eyes widened. "A-Am I dead?" He quietly asked. I sighed, hoping to avoid this conversation for a while.
"Yes, Jeremy, you're dead. Someone who lives in this dimention decided you've deserved a second chance, though." I answered. "And he ain't human." I added.
"What do you mean by that? Did God do this?" He asked, slowly sitting up.
"Not really. Meet one of the rulers of the country we're in; Princess Luna." I said, waving her forward. She came out of the darkness with...
'Holy shit, is she BLUSHING?!' I was very surprised, to say the least. Looking at Williams, I could tell that he was, too. 'Well then! Operation Shut-In is now a go!' Completely making up the name and operation, I got up and excused myself.
"I really need some sleep. I'll see you two later, perhaps at the wedding?" I called from the door. As soon as Luna started to come with me, I slammed the door shut and braced it as best as I could.
"Open the door, Mark!" Luna shouted from behind said door, after testing the door.
"I know what you think about Williams!" I shouted back. "Consider this a bonding experience, and try to get to first base!" I added, bracing again after she kicked it.
"Let me out!"
"It'll keep you from doing work." I deadpanned, offering the thing that usually motivated me when I felt lazy.
"...Fine... I'll stay in here for a while, I guess..." She finally said, succumbing to defeat, her feelings, and an excuse to stay away from prompous royal twits.
"Good girl. Stay in there as long as you want." I said, standing straight and waiting for a few seconds. The clopping of hooves told me that she was going deeper into the bedroom to talk to Williams.
'Alright, now to find AJ...' I groaned, realizing that I had no clue as to where she was. I grit my teeth and started randomly opening doors, shutting them when I got closets, bathrooms, unoccupied bedrooms, and occupied bedrooms. When I thought I finally opened the right door...
"Get the fuck out of my office." Dawn said, throwing a stamp at my face. It was so far into left field that I just stared until the large DENIED stamp smashed into my face, downing me. As I struggled to get up, the door was magically shut and I looked in a nearby window, seeing DENIED stamped in red across my face.
'...Fuck it. I'll just sleep right here...' I thought, pressing my back against the wall and closing my eyes, drifting off into sleep.
Author's Note: Mark's doing some forced matchmaking! Wonder what he'll do with Duffy... *evil laugh*