Reviews:
Gunsandgames: Mark didn't have C-4
LexiconHuka: Mark flashbang'd me when I was on the toilet once. I got a concussion and had to go to the hospital for blood loss and a skull fracture.
iTsTealblast: Much. Much is going on. And yea, a certain 'insane' being was altering his actions briefly.
WhiteCat2011: srsly.
Anonymous Flame Golem: Maybe~
RenaTamer: I've done that before with a smoke grenade. And your OC will be introduced after a set amount of chapters (When these two episodes of the show end, it will be the next one.)
Dragon'z Wrath: Seriously, how many people actually like Diamond Tiara? She's a spoiled bitchbrat.
garebare65: Don't think I've actually had this many reviews by one person 0.0
Anyway, no Gravity Hammers.
blastburnman: Alrighty, I'll see to getting Michael in somewhere. (Alternate story)
anon:
Oh my god: Yes, yes it is.
...And I couldn't help but fall to the floor, laughing hard as she stood there in shock, confetti floating around her face. I had to stop when I heard the report of a rifle and a clay bullet slammed into my chest, making me wince.
"Worth it..." I wheezed, sitting up slowly, rubbing my chest with a hand as I made absolutely sure the other grenade wasn't live. After a while of nothing happening, I got up to use the bathroom. Of course, I had to pass by Diamond Tiara on the way.
"When we get back to Ponyville, I'll tell daddy to get the Guards stationed there to arrest that ape." Was the gist of what she said. I couldn't help but grin as I kept going.
"Well, tell them that he's armed and ready to blow their heads off." I said when I returned, loud enough to where she would definitely hear it.
'See how long it would take for them to realize that I'm a superior officer, I'm a Spec. Ops. leader, I have more firepower than they can imagine, and I would be able to blow up their barracks without leaving a trace of ever being there.' I thought, chuckling a little.
"What's so funny?" Schmidt asked as I retook my seat.
"We may have some visitors later." Was all that I replied, already getting bored. Now I'm starting to wish I had brought another confetti grenade; the CMCs seemed to like it.
'Hmm... I need to try something...' I thought, and grabbed my beating stick. Thinking hard, I couldn't help but let out a small laugh as it turned into what I wanted it to; an energy sword from Halo. It looked like the Halo 2 version. Even while deactivated.
"What's that?" Duran asked, sitting across from me as I examined the deactivated weapon.
"A shakeweight. Actually, it's an energy sword from Halo. It's a video game that came out after you died." I replied, pressing the activation button and nearly sliced off his nose by accident. "4.32 feet long and dual blades that are made of hardened plasma. Shit will slice through a tank's armor like it was made of butter. Melted butter, at that." I said, before deactivating it and examining for special grooves or something.
"Is it safe to touch the blade?" He asked.
"What part of 'hardened plasma' and 'could slice through a tank' didn't you get? Plasma will pretty much melt your hand off before you can see it happen. You get run through with this, you're fucked. Damn thing would slice through your chest like it was made of smoke." I deadpanned, making him nod and turn a little pale.
"So, how's he doing with his English?" Duran asked, nodding at Schmidt.
"I'm getting better. Still hard, but I say it good." Schmidt replied, stumbling on his words a little.
"How's Callum's black ass doing?" I asked, putting the 'shakeweight' energy sword into my pocket, and made a quick prayer to God (Even though I'm still Atheist, pricks) that it didn't activate while in my trousers.
"He's doing fine, helping Der- Ditzy around with the mail." He said, almost insulting Ditzy. One of the reasons I almost blew one of their heads off was because of that. No matter what she says we can call her, my men are going to fucking use her name, not her nickname. The door behind me and Schmidt suddenly opened and a few of the foals that we were halfheartedly watching over screamed, causing me to rip the energy sword hilt out and activate it before whirling around, the tip barely an inch from a young changeling (foal?)'s muzzle.
"What in the world...?" I muttered, deactivating the sword again and picked up a shivering bugpony, wondering what in the hell is going on. His (Fuck, not like I can tell) muzzle was warm, but that was probably due to almost coming into contact with hardened plasma. I sat down hard, and simply stared out the window as Cheerilee and Duran worked to get the kids under control, slowly stroking a shivering insect.
'I think this just made it to my top five list of weird ass days...' I thought, frowning a little. A chirp brought my attention to the bug in my grasp, and I checked it over for damages, much to the changeling's confusion.
"Can you understand me?" I quietly asked, getting a small nod and another chirp.
'Step one, complete.' I thought.
"Can you speak?" A shake and another chirp made me sigh in annoyance and lean back some more, rubbing my face with a hand. It's a fucking foal, alright.
"Is that a changeling?" Applebloom asked, making me look down at her. She and the changeling were regarding each other with interest.
"Young one, by the looks of it. Can't even speak English yet." I answered, putting him down in front of her. They poked at each other, and the changeling decided to retreat between my feet when Sweetie Belle came over cautiously.
"Fucking... I think I just got forced into adopting a changeling..." I groaned, not remembering the German word for changeling, so I said it in English.
"Look at bright side." Schmidt said, turning all those that heard (Me, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and the changeling. Don't know where Scoots was.) towards him. "Least you can have child with Applejack now." Fuck, he's right.
"That's true... She can't actually have my child, since she's a pony..." I muttered, before looking at Applebloom.
"Yes, big brother?" She asked adorably, making me d'aww inside. Confound these ponies, they drive me to be soft!
"Quick, tell me if it's a colt or a filly. I can't tell with other races." I said, holding out the changeling for her and making sure to use the pony version of boy/girl.
'I can barely tell when it comes to ponies.' I added in my mind. A moment later, Applebloom told me that it was a filly. I simply nodded and let the changeling fall asleep in my lap, looking cute as fuck.
"We're here!" Cheerilee called out when the train started stopping. We (Schmidt, the changeling, and I) took that as our cue to stand up, the bug filly buzzing up to land on my left shoulder. Once outside, I faced away from everyone and made a few practice swings to get a feel for my new found energy sword. After a few seconds of bullshitting around with it, I turned it off and jogged to catch up with the group, taking the transceiver for the radio in hand and keying it to the first few notes of Terminator 2: Judgement Day's theme.
"Yes?" Dawn's voice cracked to life.
"We're in Canterlot, heading towards the garden." I replied, before looking at the changeling and decided to switch to German to fuck with eavesdroppers.
"I've hit a bit of a snag, and found a flaw with my beating stick that I'm exploiting from now on." I said, getting a sigh.
"What are they?" Dawn asked.
"A changeling filly, I think, decided to adopt me as her father, and the weapon can turn into an energy sword from the video game Halo." I explained.
"...Applejack might react negatively towards the kid, but I suggest letting her stay. As for the weapon, do you want me to fix the flaw?" He asked, and I instantly knew my answer.
"Hell no. The sword is able to slice through the walls of your castle without causing me to break a sweat." I replied with a grin.
"Alright then. Radio me in later with intel on the statue. Dawn out." He said, and stopped talking while also causing me to leave the radio alone.
"Welp, allonsy!" I chirped, and started strolling down the street rather fast so I could catch up with our group.
[At the garden]
Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo were having an argument, which they were doing for a while. Schmidt and I were lagging at the back of the group, inspecting all of the statues closely for damage.
"Can anypony guess as to what this statue represents?" Cheerilee called out, standing to what I could only call an abomination. One goat leg, one lizard leg, a lion paw, an antler, and two different wings.
"Butt ugly?" I muttered, before stepping forward as the CMCs did too, struggling to get their voices out at the same time.
"Confusion!"
"Evil!"
"Chaos!"
"It's Discord." I said, causing Cheerilee to nod at me. Hell, I didn't even know where that popped up from. It just came into my head and forced itself out of my mouth before I could comprehend what it meant.
"Actually, all four of you are correct, though Mark said the exact meaning." Cheerilee said, looking down at the pile o' filly. "In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well, you are to write a report on it." She added, causing DT to snicker as they walked off.
"This the statue?" Schmidt asked as I looked around it.
"Yea..." I murmured, freezing when it started cracking and I heard a menacing chuckle. "Did you hear that?" I quietly asked Schmidt, who shook his head in confusion. Without another word, I ripped the transcever out and didn't even wait for the keying, "DAWN!" I shouted, causing the changeling still on my shoulder and Schmidt to recoil.
"What in the name of ponyhell is it?!" He growled.
"Discord is breaking free." I said, and I heard a thump.