Reviews:
LexiconHuka:
Mark: You think I haven't tried that? It was the first thing I did that I never wrote down in these journals. Sadly, it can't happen.
Gunsandgames: My bunker is always open for others to weather out the shitstorm!
iTsTealblast: Lemme hear it over a PM.
darthmasterbane: Hm? No, MLP:FiM doesn't exist as a show in this fanfiction.
Dragon'z Wrath: Ehh... If I had to go after a filly it would either be Sweetie Belle (Marshmallow ass) or Scootaloo (Orphans are always fun to break in).
XshadowwriterzX: Thanks
RenaTamer: Thanks, I'm doing something pretty much like that, and no, I haven't. Shit, I just got my first two blind bags a few days ago.
Blood-Red Banner (ch3): Our last name is actually Duncan, but he changed it when he turned 18 to Durnkinscoff. (We're Americans, but have German ancestory. Our German last name is Schmidt. Guess the connection.)
(ch7): It's like me not liking veggiburgers.
(ch8): You try being an immortal person, who has to watch everyone he knows and loves die before his eyes, then have to collect their souls scant moments later. You'd get a little dickish too.
spartan1735: Yeppers.
Author's Note: If anyone out there is a good drawer, I will give ya'll serious props if you can draw this scene; Mark, Schmidt, and the changeling foal just standing around, with Mark talking into a radio that's connected to Schmidt's back. Mark is white, just fyi. If you're up to the challenge, PM me and I will give you more Intel.
Author's Note 2: Just for your information, Mark watched Star Trek/Star Wars when he was on Earth, so you'll understand some of the comments I write down later.
After a long moment (in which the statue exploded into a bright light, and the abomination that was Discord flew off, cackling like a madman. We fired about fifty rounds at him, but the bullets turned into pieces of chocolate on impact.), Dawn finally spoke up.
"...Get on the horn to Ponyville. I want every human to get their asses up here as soon as possible. Make sure to order them to have a force of six to protect the Elements. We both know that Celestia is going to want them up here." He said. "I need to go inform her. If you hear me scream like a little kid, I'm simply fucking around with the pricks that inhabit her day court." He added.
Seconds later, I instantly knew what he meant.
"AUNTIE 'TIA!" Somewhere in the castle, Dawn screamed with the force only a young'un could use. Along with the help of the best damn microphone and speakers that inhabit the universe. (It was later confirmed to have woken up Dash, which is a feat in itself if the time of day is before noon.)
"...I think I just went deaf..." Schmidt muttered, digging a finger into his right ear and wiping out a mixture of ear wax and blood.
"Doc. Callum. One of you two answer the fucking radio." I said, wiping a little blood from my ears too.
"What is it Mark? Is it about that scream we heard?" Doc said after a moment, and I could practically see and hear Fluttershy clinging to his back.
"We need every man to haul ass to Canterlot. Get someone to protect Applejack and Twilight, the rest of you will protect the ones you are with." I ordered.
"And what about Fluttershy? I'm a noncombatant." He asked, causing me to think for a split second.
"Connor will assist you in getting her here safely. I'm not doubting for a second that Celestia has told the Elements to get here, so all of you will accompany them." I said.
"Will I be leaving the Humvee here?" He asked.
"I'm afraid so. Only ways up to the castle are teleportation, flying, climbing, or the train. The Humvee wasn't built to go over tracks." I finally said. "Make sure to bring as many munitions as possible, though. We'll more than likely need them." I added, before putting the transceiver down and looking at Schmidt.
"Go to castle?" He asked.
"Go to the castle. C'mon." I nodded, and looked around once before jogging towards the front doors.
[Later]
With Dawn's 'suggestion', me and Schmidt set up shop with the changeling (still on my shoulder) at the bottom of the set of stairs that Sunbutt was at the top of, glaring down at the back of our heads. After a moment, I put the filly in Schmidt's lap, stood up, and started swinging my energy sword around.
"Think fast!" Dawn yelled from behind me, and I had barely enough time to whirl around and slice a stick that he got from somewhere into two burning slices. Sunbutt glared at him as he sent random shit at me, and soon there was a pile of smoldering crap at the bottom of the staircase. I only missed a few, and sported a good sized bruise on my chest.
"Princess Celestia! We came as fast as we could!" Twilight suddenly shouted, the doors behind me opening quite suddenly. It took all of my self control to not toss my remaining grenade behind me and hit the deck when it opened. What happened next almost brought a tear to my eye. Almost.
Every single man (except Sergio, because he stayed behind) fanned out, rifles at the ready. They quickly took up defensive positions where it was possible, keeping their weapons trained on any exit within sight, while Schmidt, the changeling, and I grouped up with the Elements.
"Orders?" Connor asked as I started going up the stairs, being the closest to me. I could also tell that he was visibly straining to stop from bolting off. At least that gasmask of his hid the fear in his eyes.
"Connor, Callum, and Duran; stay here and don't let anyone in. Whether it be guard or civilian, if they try to keep coming in, shoot them. Don't let it be lethal unless absolutely necessary. Everyone else, with me." I said. "Duran's in charge, listen to him." I added, looking at the three I told to stay behind.
"Yes, Sir!" They said, snapping to attention and giving me crisp salutes. It made me proud. Connor and Callum quickly did what Duran told them to, getting into positions on the far sides of the staircase, while the rest of them followed after me and the others.
We soon arrived at an asslong hallway that had stained glass windows on either side, and I sent Gallan and Schmidt to go down to the other end to secure it. Gallan reluctantly did, still not completely trusting Schmidt.
"So, Sugarcube..." AJ began as Sunbutt explained to the rest of the mares as why they were there. "Why is there a changelin' on ya shoulder?"
"Dawn thinks it's a good idea to adopt her, seeing as she's already adopted me as a sort of guardian." I replied, and got a look of both shock and mild disgust.
"But she's a changeling!" She growled, causing me to sigh.
"And I'm a human. Yet you think it's perfectly fine to be with me." I retorted, causing her to falter.
"T-That's different... Ya didn't try to take over the country..." She stammered, glancing around. I saw that Dawn was paying attention to us, but to his credit, AJ didn't notice. The other humans, especially Duffy and Blake, were too. I bet that if Callum were here, he'd be paying attention the most. (Guy already gets enough questions about the difference in his skin color from the ponies.)
"So you're going to blame the actions of an entire race on one foal? That's pretty much what Celestia is doing with us, Applejack. You ponies may be blind to her emotions, but we all can see that she hates us." I stated, walking a little faster to leave AJ with some time to think.
"A little harsh, don't you think?" Dawn asked, looking up at me.
"She needs to learn that, even though her Element is Honesty, not everything is as it seems." I replied, taking a glance at the foal on my shoulder, which chirped at me. I smiled a little bit and rubbed her head, and felt an odd feeling in the back of my skull as I did.
"She's feeding off of your positive emotions. From what I've seen from changelings, let her. She's starving, which is probably why she latched onto you so easily." Dawn whispered, and so I did as he said, letting the filly get her fill from my emotions.
During the feeding session, I couldn't help but look at the back of Duffy's head, and held back a laugh.
"Duffy, why in the hell did you color part of your hair pink?" I asked. He groaned and pulled some sort of sticky substance out.
"It's fucking cotton candy. The bed turned into it while I was asleep." He muttered, flinging it away (and into Pinkie's mouth, who popped out of nowhere to eat it).
"Hold on a second!" Pinkie suddenly declared, as we looked back to discover that our journey had met its end. "Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain! Chocolate rain!" She said, getting up in Twi's face, and I swear, her eyes almost popped out of her sockets.
"I think I have that song on my iPod, actually..." I muttered, fishing out the old thing and looking up the song. Yep, there it is. Twilight muttered something to Sunbutt, who turned around and stuck her horn into a hole in the doors.
"Oooh. Kinky." I couldn't help but say in German, earning a glare from Sunbutt as she withdrew her horn and looked at me. A somewhat odd lightshow later, the doors opened and Rarity was the first to speak up.
"You can keep the Elements, I'll just take that box!" She said while Celestia levitated the box out and opened it up...
...to reveal an empty box.
"I totally saw that coming." I couldn't help but say, as the only ones who didn't look surprised were me, the changeling, and Dawn. And of course, Pinkie.
"Ah well! If anypony needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw!" She said, trotting off over to us.
"Pay up." I muttered, holding out my hand. She grumbled a little, but handed me three bits, which I quickly pocketed. The changeling chirped inquisitively at me, causing me to glance at Dawn.
"What is it?" He asked, as Pinks trotted back to the group and started messing around with Gallan, a kinda creepy grin on her face.
"I can understand the way in which she chirps. I get feelings from it." I muttered, nodding my head at the changeling.
"Dunno... Maybe she formed a psychic link with you or something?" He muttered, rubbing his chin as Sunbutt finally snapped back to her senses.
"This doesn't make any sense! I placed a spell on that box that only I could break!" She exclaimed, starting to pace, before evil laughter echoed through the hall. All of us immediately raised our weapons, while I ignited my sword and looked around.
"What fun is there in making sense?" A very familiar voice called out, causing me to pause.
'That's Q from Star Trek...' I thought, before shaking my head and holding it.
"I really, really need some fucking meat right about now..." I muttered, and Fluttershy heard me as she went green and quickly bolted behind Thompson.