Reviews:
Guest 1: nou
stevemcgarret: I implied that Mark died.
RenaTamer: Derpy Hooves, Ditzy Doo. Same pony. Anyway, yes, Nightmare Moon lives!
Dragon'z Wrath: Coming back is mainstream.
buttershoes: Trust me, I won't forget it anytime soon.
Battle Damage: Anything other than meatloaf and vegetarian.
iTsTealblast: Yep yep!
Guest 2: It hath ended.
alptraumfegan: Thanks, and we will!
Der Kaiser: I will! And who doesn't like a little weird?
(ch13): Maybe.
(ch32): Yep.
Dovahdog: After Mark finishes his current deployment, he's gonna go to try and get into the SEALs. Needless to say, he has to tighten his spincter to the point of a microbe unable to get through.
Author's Note: The ride never ends! MiE is back (For this chapter, I know how much you all want it to come back, so I'ma throw you a dick move and give you all one chapter before going back in haitus.)
"He's alive!" Doc shouted as I painfully regained consciousness. The left side of my face was melted off, making me look like that dude from The Dark Night. At least, I thought I did.
"Sweet Jesus... I feel like worse than shit..." I groaned, trying not to move my head.
"You're missing half your face, but that's about it." Doc said, helping me sit up. "Dawn's able to heal you, although he says it's gonna be a while for the scarring to fade away."
"Fire 'er up then, Dawn." I groaned, and was hit in the face by a laser. I could feel my face growing back, and relished in it. I watched Nightmare Moon while I was getting fixed the fuck up, and I saw that she was regretful of what she did to me. Bill was also looking at the ground.
"Done." Dawn said a moment later, and Bill hauled me to my feet.
"The fuck did you shoot at her for?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes.
"I... don't know. It was like I was controlled by somebody else until I got shoved." He admitted, rubbing his arms.
"Discord, most likely." Dawn said, confusing me.
"Didn't we make his ass become stone again?" I asked, narrowing my one eyebrow.
"Yes, but chaos is unable to be contained entirely. It's always there, subtly directing certain actions." He explained.
"Fair enough..." I muttered, before turning to Nightmare Moon. "I don't blame you for defending yourself, then." I swear, she was surprised as fuck to hear that.
"You mean that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.
"A hundred percent. Discord's the one to blame, not you or Bill." I said, getting to my feet. I was barely able to stay standing as I was forced to hug her.
"Would you want to be a friend, perhaps?" She asked, and I knew it was a little hard for her to speak like a commoner. Luna still hasn't nailed it, and Williams informs me of this.
"Why not? Already friends with Luna. Be able to see what the darker side is like." I finally said, patting her on the back. I got a small glare, but I smiled to show that I didn't really mean it. "If you turned a new leaf, who am I to deny you to happiness?"
"Does thou mean this?" She carefully asked. I understood where she was coming from; a being that was feared by all can't make many friends.
"Yes, I mean it." I said with a small smile. In return, I was almost squeezed to death.
"And who is this? Your brother?" She asked, and I figured that she was looking at Anon.
"Not exactly." I replied, pushing down some memories of the fat ass (honestly, I am quite large, both in weight and size) and worming my way out without offending the alicorn.
"What does thou mean?" NM asked in confusion.
"He's me, but not me. It's complicated and all that jazz. Not like you and Luna, but close enough." I explained. She didn't get it, but let it slide.
"Don't worry, I don't get it too much, either." Dawn said, subtly nuzzling her. Since I knew that it wasn't anything romantic (Twi and the gang do it a lot, too), I ignored it.
"So, why exactly is a human in this world? We thought they were long since extinct." NM asked, causing me to narrow my eyes at Dawn. He sighed, and nodded a little.
"They are, sister. The humans currently living in Equestria are either from the past or alternate realities, like Anon." He said, before nodding at me. Half a second later, he was missing a few teeth and I was shaking my hand, trying to get feeling back in it. NM was looking at me with a cross between astonishment and anger.
"Shit, remind me to never punch a horse in the face again." I said to the others, flexing my hand as best as I could.
"I deserved that, I guess..." Dawn said as he spit out some blood, and also calming NM down.
"There has been more reforms than we thought..." She muttered, before looking skyward as the moon started setting.
"It helps that he deserved it for not fucking telling me that this was where I grew up!" I half yelled at Dawn. "I mean, our species lived, very possibly, on this same continent for one hundred fucking thousand plus years!"
"It's not like I would keep this information from you if I knew!" Dawn shouted, and I finally snapped.
"Right! Like how you, even though Celestia hates humans, brought my ass here and started a huge clusterfuck! And for what?! A FUCKING WEDDING!" I shouted, rivaling the RCV at the moment.
"I GAVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE!" Dawn shouted back.
"AT THE FUCKING COST OF LOSING WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY OLD FAMILY! HELL, I BET YOU WERE THE REASON I DIED!" Oh, he didn't just cross a line at that. He ran over it with a fucking M1 Abrams. "MY BROTHER IS BACK IN TIME BY ASS MANY YEARS THINKING THAT HIS ONLY BLOOD RELATIVE IS DEAD, WHILE I'M LIVING WITH THIS ON MY CONSCIOUS EVERYDAY! WITH SERGIO LIVING IN TOWN, I'M FORCED TO REMEMBER THIS! BOTH OF THEM ARE THE SAME FUCKING AGE! THEY EVEN LOOK GODDAMN SIMILAR!"
"THEN DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK IN TIME, KILL HIM, AND BRING HIM HERE?!" He did not just ask that. Not even dignifying that with a response, I ripped Bill's pistol out of it's holster, and before anyone could react, I sent a bullet through Dawn's throat. As he clutched his bleeding throat, I kicked him to the ground and stomped down, glaring with the fury of my soul.
"You just made my shit list, Dawn." I growled, pressing down with my boot. "With that one sentence, I've gone from forgiving you to not even hindering that thought. My superior officer or not, I will find a fucking way to kill you if you EVER mention killing Stephan." He didn't respond. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"...Yes..." He wheezed. I lifted my boot, stomped on his face, and stalked out of the room.
[With Thompson]
I knew I should've gone after Mark, but I had more urgent matters to attend to, most importantly intelligence.
"How do you know about us?" I asked Nightmare Moon as Dawn rose to his feet, face and throat mended. He probably had a bullet in his throat, but I didn't care at the moment. I know I would've done the same, had he threatened my little sister. She seemed to collect her thoughts for a moment, before sighing.
"I managed to bring in several as mercenaries, but the weapons they used were similar to our own. The clothing they wore were different, too." She explained.
"Your mercs were knights. Probably rocking plate armor, or earlier, depending on what time period they came from." I explained.
"Romans." Dawn clarified, and we all glared at him.
"You have no excuse for what you told Mark, Timeithian." Anon growled. "Had it been me, you would be pushing a group of 5.56mm bullets out of your skull, not a 9mm out of your throat."
"I snapped..." He sighed. "Doesn't make what I said right, but I have a job more taxing than any of you. Even Celestia doesn't know what I have to go through each day."
"We don't know what he doth to the fullest extent, and he talks to us and Luna the most." Nightmare Moon added, looking down.
"The Princesses are lucky; they can have children without worrying about death, while I would die less than a month after my firstborn." Dawn said, settling down on the ground.
"Alicorns last about 20,000 years, unless they're mortally wounded or poisoned." Nightmare Moon gave us that little tidbit of information.
"Unless they're male." Dawn suddenly said. "There's only one true Prince, and that's me. It's a curse put on all Alicorns, before Discord was born, so nobody can blame him."
"That seems harsh..." Anon muttered. "What about Blueblood?" Dawn seemed insulted by that.
"That imbecile? Not even worthy of being called prince." He scoffed, then narrowed his eyes a little. "If it weren't for Celestia, that bigot would be a 'mere commoner' like the rest of them. Royal twats, save a few."
"Sister has done more blunders than 'her little ponies' realize." Nightmare Moon added.
"Thought that I was a threat, for instance." Mark said, causing all of us to look at him. "I ain't forgiving you for that comment, but I'm also gonna be neutral against you again, Dawn." He said, shrugging.
"Fair enough." Dawn replied with a shrug. Mark came over, and at that moment I realized exactly how depressed he looked. Given that he was like the filly Scootaloo, I didn't say anything about it, lest I piss him off.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked instead.
"What does thou mean?" Nightmare asked in confusion.
"We can't keep you hidden forever." Mark said. "Luna's able to peek into my dreams, and I don't dream normally; my dreams are memories. Even if it takes a few years, she'll learn of you and that'll end up with either you or her dead."
"He's right; we need to bring you back on our own terms." Dawn added. "If we bring you right after Luna eats breakfast, we'll be able to spring this on Celestia and-"
"-Pretty much clothesline her." I finished, before standing up. "That's a good enough plan; we just need to make up a good enough reason for her not to melt you with concentrated sunlight."
She happened to pale at that.
[0830, Mark]
Striding up to the palace gates after teleporting with our group, I couldn't help but smirk at the total terror Luna's former evil counterpart gave off. Celestia couldn't be warned, so I plugged a tranquilizer dart into every guard's ass, save for the death guards. They had enough common sense to be able to tell that she was harmless. Some of them even fell into stride with us, the daring bastards (and bitch, there was a mare involved).
I would've kicked down the doors to the main hall, but they weighed half a ton each. Dawn did that with his magnets.
"What is the meaning of this?!" I would guess that was the royal secretary as she barked from the base of the throne platform. She was about to place herself in between us when she saw our company, and visibly shook. Probably pissed herself, too. I noticed that Max was next to Celestia, chatting away, until we came in of course.
"NIGHTMARE MOON!" Celestia barked out, getting to her feet quickly. In response, everyone of us aimed our weapons/got in front of NM. Thompson decided to play the comedic role and held out a roll of gauze like a pistol, finger curled up and everything. Dawn simply preformed a facehoof, before getting in front of us.
"Celestia, just listen for a moment." He tried saying, but bitch wasn't havin' any of that.
"NO, I will not allow her evil to spread," Celestia snarled as her horn glowed brightly. "She corrupted my beloved sister and tried to destroy me and Equestria. I WILL NOT LET HER DO IT AGAIN!"
Anon and I slipped in front of NM, taking the brunt of the RCV. From the looks of it, I was finally gonna get to put a cap in the 'Royal Plot'. Then, in his flightly glory, Max intervened.
The human didn't say a word at first, instead he easily stepped up to Celestia's side and placed a gentle hand on her cutie mark. The affect was instantaneous. Celestia became ridged, her horn stopped glowing and all the anger in the room… at least her side of it, died.
"Celestia," he said in a soft voice that floated over to us. "Maybe you should listen to what they have to say," he removed his hand as she turned her head to gaze at him. "You said yourself that it's been over four years since Luna and Moon separated… If she hasn't tried to overthrow the kingdom by now…"
"Mostly because I was too weak..." NM muttered from behind me, causing all of us to smirk a little.
"Very well," she sighed. Taking a deep calming breath, the princess of the sun re-took her seat at the throne and gave a nod towards Nightmare Moon. "I will listen to what you have to say…"
Because, fuck you.
God, I thought that would've gone a lot worse, actually. Nightmare Moon returned to the throne as 'Princess Lunacae' (Luna's actual name), so avoid arousing too many suspicions. Needless to say, Prince Blueballs was a little more than pissed at being passed once again.
When Luna wakes up to 'raise' the moon, she's gonna freak the fuck out. That's fosho.
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"It's open," Max called after I knocked at his door, and a moment later I trotted in.
"I do hope I'm not disturbing you," I said as I carefully kicked the door shut, not slamming it like the pro I was. Then again, my colt form doesn't have as much power as my stallion form.
"Nope, just doing a bit of studying," the Master sergeant replied as he set down a pen and close the book he had been looking through.
"I just wanted to thank you for what you did back in the throne room." I said.
"Not a prob," Max gave a casual shrug.
"Max, I don't think you quite understand," I shook my head and tried again. "Over a thousand years of standing up to her, and yet… I've never seen Celestia back down so quickly from a potential conflict, how did you do it?"
"What can I say, I'm just good with horses…" He smiled, again shrugging it off as he opened the book before him. I decided to not take offence to that.
I stood there for a few more minutes, my sharp eyes watching the young man as he went back to studying…
I ruined his concentration for a moment by acting like a colt and leaping up onto the table, landing directly on the book he was reading.
"Fukkin' magnets." -Corporal Mark Durnkinscoff, United States Marine Corps 1st EOD Division and General in the Equestrian Military (Army branch)