Reviews:
LexiconHuka: reggin tihs wa
Dragon'z Wrath: In this case it would be Doctor Whooves.
RenaTamer: Dropping balls everywhere.
Cobalt88: When Discord got a rainbow to the face.
"Get some!" I half shouted, spewing bullets from my acquired M60 at a tank in the campaign the Parish on Expert. First time through this map, and I'm playing the second hardest difficulty. About fifty feet or so behind me, Sergio (Ellis) was being helped up by Coach, due to a lucky chunk o' pain that the tank threw at his face. Next to Nick (me), Rochelle took another concrete brick and went down.
'This game seems very... violent.' Apple and the rest of the ponies commented.
"It's rated 'M' for a bloody reason." I answered back. "It's not just for the swearing and beer cans lying everywhere."
"Still." Big Mac muttered, oddly fascinated by this anyway.
"Well, that went well." I said after the tank died, and my M60 had roughly one bullet left.
And then a tank spawned in the cargo hold.
We found out when the campaign finished and I went down to the hold to check up on some odd noises.
I found a black dude sitting on a box, eating an MRE.
"..." We stared at each other, before I looked around some more. Four others stared back, all dressed up in WWII tank gear.
"Well... This is awkward." I muttered, rubbing the back of my head. "I'm a general, so if you shoot me I'll have you court marshaled." I added when I saw one of them edging towards what looked like a Grease Gun (submachine gun, not the tool).
"Sorry sir, can't be too careful with the Nazi's." The guy replied, relaxing a little.
"I take it you're wondering where you are?" I questioned, sitting down on an industrial strength box.
"That'll be good to hear, sir." One of the others answered, sitting on the turret.
"Currently you're in a Lockheed C-5B Galaxy flying over the Atlantic Ocean going on a relief mission for a country in Africa. The location's in Somalia."
Elsewhere, two Rangers suddenly shivered violently.
"What's a C-5B?" The guy on the turret asked in confusion.
"It's a cargo plane that was created after your time." I sighed, before looking up. "We're roughly 1.65 billion years into the future, and the only humans who're living right now had to die to get here."
"I told you we had AT fire incoming!" One of them exclaimed, jabbing a finger at what I assumed to be the driver.
"You ever try to turn around in an alley? It's really damn hard!" He yelled back. I couldn't help but facepalm.
"You were in a tank. Just go through a damn building." I said.
"Tell that to the fact that the buildings on both sides had friendly forces." The driver muttered, crossing his arms.
"Good point." I muttered, before walking around the tank.
"'Crocodile' Sherman..." I muttered, looking it over. "It looks to be in good condition, save for some small arms fire scratching the paint." After looking on the treads, I resisted to facepalm again. "How many Germans did you run over?"
"Roughly twenty." The driver shamelessly said. At that moment, I was glad that Schmidt stayed in Ponyville.
"Well, there's only one German now, and he's harmless." I said, getting mixed reactions out of them.
"Silence!" Time Turner yelled, causing all of them to turn to him.
(Author's Note: We may be Doctor Who fans, but not well enough to get the dialog perfect.)
"Look at yourselves!" He said, pointing a hoof at them. "All of you are humans, and yet you continue to bicker! That German back in town is no different from you, besides skin color and nationality!"
"He's a Nazi!" The one on the turret yelled.
"Then you must consider me a Nazi as well, since I'm a third fucking German." I snarled, causing him to look unsure of himself.
"Back in the town we left, we have a BAR gunner working alongside Schmidt, and he has no qualms with him!" Time Turner continued, leaving out the fact that it took the Discord incident to make Gallan stop the subtle hostilities. "If a person who had to directly interact with the Germans could get past the outside emotions and thoughts and accept him, why can't you five?"
"When you put it that way..." The driver muttered, before nodding. The others nodded as well, and Turner grinned.
"And that's why I like you humans!" He exclaimed, pointing a hoof at them. "Always willing to look past what's on the outside, when prompted to!"
"Add to the fact that a horse is more willing to accept a human than other humans, and I find this disgusting." I muttered, shaking my head.
"Alright!" I clapped, startling one of them. "I need you to tell me your names and what you do."
"Private Legaski, .50 gunner." The first one saluted.
"Colonel Andrews, Tank Commander." Another one said, also saluting.
"Sergeant Hill, Gunner." The one on the turret said, giving a mock salute.
Private First Class Moore, Driver." The driver said, crisp salute.
"Lieutenant Blake, Co-Driver." The last one said, giving a nod as he continued eating.
"General Durnkinscoff." I said with a nod, before looking behind me. "Go on and meet the rest of the crew, they're in the galley."
"Aye aye!" They said, slipping off and heading to where I pointed.
"I'm getting too old for this..." I sighed, slumping against the tank.
"If it's any consolation, I'm over a thousand years old now." Time Turner said, causing me to roll my eyes.
"You're a Time Lord, it's different." I said, smiling a little despite myself.
"Difference is relative." He dismissed, before looking at me all serious like. "I hope you're making the right choice, coming on this trip. Disaster seems to follow you, rather subtly. Outrage at the peace treaty between Chrysalis and Equestria. When Nightmare Moon returned in a peaceful way. And now this. Not all of the zebras are starving and we both know it."
"I know..." I sighed, sliding into a sitting position. "The same thing happened in the same exact location a long time ago. I ordered Callum and Duran not to come because they died there over a billion years ago..."
"And you feel as if you're walking one of the others on this plane to their deaths." Turner said, staring me in the eyes.
"Exactly. I know I can't control who dies or why, but I know we're going to be stuck there without reinforcements for almost two days and the only ammunition we have is magic and what bullets we brought with us."
"If it helps, I'll stay with you all." Turner offered.
"I appreciate the offer, Doctor, but you'll only get in the way. Whether it be good or bad, I don't know. But go back on to Equestria with the others and don't be on the flight back." I said. He pondered for a moment, before grinning a little on what I implied he do instead. I purposely left him that loophole to exploit.
"I promise." He said, nodding.
"Good. Now, let's go get food." I said, accepting his hoof and standing up, before walking to the galley for some grub.
"Just remember," Sergio called out, "that the cake is a lie."
[In Sugarcube Corner]
One second Pinkie was just standing next to me, putting the icing on a five layer cake, the next she exploded, screaming about how everything was a lie.
I attempted to calm her down, but it wasn't working, even as she started foaming at the mouth.
"My pet camel spider ate my homework." Me on every homework assignment ever.
My Chemistry teacher is still not pleased with me.