Entry #004: The Perfect Day

Friday, March 7th

9:17 A.M.

I've never felt this anxious before.

All I could think about last night was spending an entire day at the beach festival with André.

Just the two of us... alone.

"Just be patient, Tori." I told myself as I sat on the bench out front, "He said he'd be here at 9, but he's running a little late. Nothing to worry about."

God, I hope so.

{A musical chime plays on my phone}

It was André!

Please don't let him cancel. Please don't let him cancel!

"Hello?" I asked, calming down.

{Hey, I'm gonna be a bit late. I'll be there around 10.}

"Oh… okay, see you when you get here."

{Bye.}

"Bye."

As I went into the house and sat down on the sofa, I tried distracting myself by watching some cartoons.

All I had to do was sit and wait.

"Just be patient. It's going to be okay." I told myself again, "At least he called this time."

*Sighs*

I hated feeling like this.

Only five minutes had gone by, yet the tension was killing me.

"Ughhh!" I grunted, leaving the den and going up to my room.

Jumping on my bed and grabbing the nearest pillow, I screamed into it.

I didn't understand it.

I'm usually better at being patient than this.

I once had to wait an extra two weeks for my clutch bag to be delivered.

Sure, on the twelfth day, I nearly threw a brick at the patio window, but I got over it.

"Why am I so nervous?" I asked myself, turning over, "I-it's just André."

"It's 'cause you love him."

Jumping up, I was surprised to see Trina standing in the doorway.

I could have sworn she left the house earlier.

"Trina! What are you doing here?"

"I had to come back to get my purse." she explained, "Still waiting for André?"

"Yes, and it's killing me!"

"Well, no duh." Trina laughed, as she sat at the edge of my bed, "It's 'cause you love him."

"N-no, no I don't." I lied, sitting up, "We're just best friends."

"You're lying. You smile a lot when you lie."

Dammit, she was right. I could feel the grin etched across my face.

"Okay, maybe I do have a small crush on him." I lied again.

"Only a small crush?" Trina questioned, obviously not believing me.

"Fine! I like him a lot." I sighed, falling back on my pillows.

"I knew it. I saw this coming from a mile away."

Believe it or not, but every once in a while, Trina would give me some great advice.

This was one of those moments.

"Everyone could see that you two have something special going on, so I'm not sure why you haven't told him yet." she continued, placing her hand on my knee, "That's why I say you should go for it."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Trust me, it's not. But wouldn't it feel better to let him know how you feel?"

"Yeah."

"And wouldn't it feel even better to know how he really feels about you?"

"Mhmm." I smiled, as I sat back up.

"Then just go for it, lil sis," Trina added, reaching to hold my hand, "Because sooner or later, someone else won't hesitate to ask him out."

What she was saying was right.

If I didn't make a move on André, some other girl would jump at the opportunity.

I still had Jade to worry about, so I didn't need other girls to compete with.

"You're right... I can do this." I said, taking a deep breath, "Thanks, Trina."

"Just tellin' it like it is." Trina replied as we hugged, "So can you do me one favor?"

"What?"

"Can you lend me $20? I'm a little short on cash right now."

"Sure, Trina." I chuckled.

10:01 A.M.

DING-DONG!

*Takes a deep breath*

It was time.

The parents were away and Trina was long gone.

So it would be just the two of us.

No interruptions.

Let's hope this works.

"Hey, Tori." André smiled, as I opened the door, "Are you ready to go-"

Grabbing him by his collar, I kissed him right there, on the spot.

Was my approach a little... forceful?

Sure.

But I wanted him so badly and nobody was going to stop me.

"Tori… wow, uh… where did that come from?" he beamed with astonishment.

"I'm tired, André. I'm tired of hiding these feelings I have for you." I stated, looking deep into his eyes, "I like you... a lot, and I need to know if you like me, too."

"Tori…"

"Yes?"

This was the moment.

I anxiously awaited his response.

"I… I like you. I-I really do." he uttered, walking over to the piano, "Just… not in that way."

…

Wait... What?!

Was he joking?

He had to have been kidding.

"You don't think of me in that way?" I asked, walking up to him, "Why?"

"Tori, I've only liked you as a friend. T-that's how it's been since day one," he explained, although he looked rather unsure for some reason.

"But what about this chemistry that we share? It feels a lot more than a simple friendship." I insisted, feeling more and more hopeless.

It was at that moment that I noticed something odd.

André started avoiding eye contact with me.

"Tori, can't we just go to the festival? We're gonna miss-"

"No, André. I want an answer first." I demanded, standing in front of him, "At least give me a reason why you don't feel this way."

After a brief moment of silence, he spoke.

"I can't."

"You can't?"

"Look, I don't have time for this." he snapped, walking towards the front door.

"Yet, you always find time for Jade," I tearfully lashed out.

Turning around, André asked, "What does she have to do with us?"

"Everything! She's getting too close to you and something could happen!"

*Sighs heavily*

I didn't expect things to go this badly.

Baffled, André asked, "Wait... do you honestly think I would cheat with Jade? That I would betray Beck, my best friend?"

I couldn't answer him.

I was so distraught by all that was going on.

Why did this have to happen?!

After another brief, uncomfortable silence, André spoke again.

"Is that what you really think of me?" he scoffed, with a look of disgust, "Then you obviously don't know me at all."

As he walked out the door, I realized too late that I was making a terrible mistake.

Chasing after him, I cried, "André, wait. I'm sorry! André, please!"

"Don't call me and I won't call you," he replied, getting into his car and driving off.

As I stood in the driveway, I began crying heavily.

I desperately wished all of this was just a nightmare and that I would eventually wake up.

But it wasn't.

It was all my fault.

I took things too far.

The perfect day was ruined.

My best friend… no more.