Reviews:

MLPFan298: Kinda figured.

RenaTamer: I've actually never heard of them/it/whatever. Yay social recluse!

ShiningShadow1965:
Mark: Only you can prevent butt monkeys.

iOptimumReaper:
Mark: Thank you. And nice profile picture.

Lone The Dark Hearted Wolf: Thanks bruh.

Buttershoes:
Mark:*gulp*

spartan1735:
Mark:*beatboxes*

When I woke again with a start, I found myself in a ditch aside the road that led to Fort Reach, covered in the armour I commissioned Elusive to make. Though, I don't remember visiting him to pick it up, or arriving in Ponyville. Slowly, I pulled myslf to my feet, still wondering if I had made it home or was in a totally new dimension of weird, the getup I had on didn't help my troubled thoughts. It wasn't until I saw male Blake and Schmidt run by, chasing down a female Pinkie Pie that I could finally relax.

Just a bit, though.

"Oh Hey Mark!"

"Hello Pinkie," I nodded a greeting to the pink wonder who appeared at my left.

"Hi'yah Mark!"

"I already sad hello, Pinkie," I gave off a sigh as I glanced to the mare on my right.

Wait...

"Hey Mark, where have you been the last few days," Pinkie asked, this time her head was poking out from a nearby tree branch. "Applejack has been worried sick…"

"Yeah," the two at my sides chimed in. "Worried sick."

Instantly I froze as the hairs on my neck began to prickle like a motherfucker. Looking to my right, there was a smiling Pinkie gazing up at me. Looking to the left, there was Pinkie happily nuzzling my hand, right where my thumb nub was. And as for the one in front of me, she had dropped from the tree and was now sitting at my feet, her large blue eyes staring intently into mine.

"What. The. Fuck."

Hoping for an answer, I took off jogging for town, the three Pinkies bounding, hopping, and shuffling along behind me. however the sight that greeted me as I entered Ponyville, made my blood fucking run cold. Besides the usual gathering of brightly colored ponies with a few humans here and there… there were Pinkies, lots of them playing, giggling, bouncing, and racing through the streets…

"Ho' leeee-chit!" I gasped in disbelief.

After trying to wave down someone who was either chasing down one of the many Pinkies, or being chased by one of the many Pinkies. Mark finally lost his temper and close lined the next human who darted past him. That unfortunate person just happened to be Rick Duran. "Oh fuck," the Master Sergeant groaned out as he rolled on the ground. "What the hell man?"

"Hey there Rick, nice running into you here." Mark flashed the prone man a smile as he knelt over him.

"Mark?" Duran blinked in surprise. "Where the hell have you been? And what's up with the armor?"

"Later," he grunted before pulling forth one of the three Pinkies that had been following him. "I would like to know what the hell happened to reality while I was gone."

"The same day you disappeared Pinkie, the real Pinkie, decided to take a journey to some mystic hidden lake and cloned herself." Duran said as he sat up. "However the clone got out of hand and made more… lots more."

"So why not just pull some ordinance and cull the herd?"

"First, we have no clue where or which is the real Pinkie. Second," Rick sighed as he gestured towards the pink mare. "Could you really shoot to kill Pinkie, any Pinkie?"

The fact that the General suddenly became really quiet made Duran shiver.

"Anyhow, we don't need to use guns because Twilight figured out a spell to get rid of the clones," the man said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "All we are trying to do is gather up all the Pinkies inside the town hall so Twilight can do her hocus pocus."

"Ah hell, is that all?" Mark sighed as he ran his hands through his sorta buzzed hair. He needed to shave it again, soon. Same with the scrag on his face.

"Is that all?!" Duran demanded. "Have you ever tried to corral a hundred hyper ponies before?"

"Watch and learn my friend..." The general said as he bent down and began to whisper into the ear of the closest Pinkie. With a loud gasp, said Pinkie suddenly shot into the air and ran off screaming "Pinkie Party at city hall!" In a manner of seconds, the hall was being mobbed as every Pinkie in town rushed to get in.

"No way," Duran blinked in shock. "How the hell?"

"And that's why I rate the stars on my collar." Mark gave the Master Sergeant's shoulder a slap before turning and walking over to where Sparklebutt and her friends stood watching the many Pinkies clamor into the hall. "So what's the plan?"

"Mark honey," AJ rushed over and hugged her mate. "Where the hay have you been?"

"Woke up in a side dimension where genders were reversed and had to fix a few things before getting to come home," he said as he hugged his farm mare.

"Another dimension?" Twilight asked as she scrutinized the man. "Mind if I run a few tests on your brain once we are done here?"

"Fuck you Twi, I'm not a lab rat," Mark snorted. "Now tell me about your plan for the hoard of chaos bringers?"

"I'm going to make them watch paint dry…"

Mark opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out at first. Slowly he closed his maw and stared at the unicorn, all the while wondering where he left his trusty 1911. Twilight had finally gone bat-shit crazy and needed to be put down before her insanity started to infect the rest of Equestria.

"Hold up Twilight, I got one more," Dash interrupted his train of thought as she came fluttering in with one more Pinkie, this one looked a little off for her fur wasn't as vibrant as the others. Yet before she could land she was tackled to the ground by Gallan.

"What the hay," Twi gasped as she rushed off to help Rainbow.

"Yeah, what gives," Dash demanded as she rounded on the human. "That was totally un-cool!"

"Damn you Dash," Gallan snapped back, pulling his side arm as he stood to protect the miserable looking Pinkie. "I told you I didn't care what you did with those unfeeling, soulless copies… But hooves of MY Pinkie!"

"But Gallan, dear, we really must figure out which is the real Pinkie," Rarity started to move towards him, yet stopped when he pointed the gun at her.

"Mark, do something…" Applejack glanced up at him for help.

"Luke," Mark held up a hand after taking a moment to think. "What did you mean by unfeeling and soulless?"

"That's just it," he verbally shot back (thankfully, not literally) as he slowly knelt next to his pony. "The clones are all soulless and while they act like my Pinkie, they have no feelings of their own."

"Wait, what now?" Twilight and the others asked.

"Have you guys forgotten that Gallan is part changeling and can taste who the real Pinkie is?" Apple questioned from atop Mark's head. Mark briefly wondered when the hell she got up there, but dismissed it.

"So that means that she is the original Pinkie," Twilight brightened as she finally got what Gallan was arguing at gunpoint.

"That's what I've been trying to tell the lot of you." Slowly Gallan holstered his side arm before pulling the depressed pink pony into a hug. "I'd know my Pinkie anywhere."

"You, you knew I was me?" Pinks gazed up into his eyes, the color coming back into her fur.

"Always," he smiled and gently places a kiss on her nose.

"Well, now that we have that cleared up," Sparklebutt happily chirped as she trotted into the hall. "Thank you all for coming, now if you'll just look at my horn, we will get this party started…"

After the bright flash had subsided and Twilight had trotted off to join her friends in hugging Pinkie, Mark had stepped in and gave the hall a scrutinizing onceover. He was about to walk out when he noticed something on the floor, a small pile of silverfish dust. "No, it couldn't be."

An hour and a long explanation of rule 63 land later, Mark was sitting in Time Turner's living room. "So what's the verdict," he asked as Joe rolled over holding a tea tray with his plunger.

"They're Nanites alright," Turner stated after running a scan with his screwdriver. "I don't know what Twilight and her friends plan to do to the pond, but I'm going to take a look."

"Does that mean we are going on a trip, daddy," Jenny excitedly asked from the kitchen.

"Indeed," the male time pony nodded. "Go warm the old girl up."

Mark decided that now was a good time to head home to AJ or get sucked into another of the Doctor's adventures.