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Guest: Actually, no. The MS-1 crew was KIA before being killed due to the tank shell entering it. Both of them were killed as they traveled through the afterlife in the tank, dying on the way over. The hydra just found an opportunistic snack.
"All Hallows Eve." I said aloud as I hung some lights up around the barn, using my special skills to keep from falling off of my precarious perch. "The one time of year that I can get away with dressing up like a complete idiot."
"You do that anyway." AJ commented from next to the ladder.
"And hurry up before I just kick this damn ladder down." Bill added. "I don't know why the hell you decided to invite us here."
"I invited Chrysalis here." I shot back, nailing a bat shaped lantern to the gutter. "You decided to tag along instead of sitting on your ass at the Hive." Bill merely grunted, before moving aside as I slid down and nearly busted my ass when the ladder fell from under me.
"Your stupid ass done up there?" Bill asked, lightly grinning.
"Fuck you." I stated, becore cracking my fingers. "Yeah, I'm done for now. How's the underground life been treating you?" Bill paused for a moment, dediding to choose his words carefully for some reason.
"Its... Different than my old one, that's for sure." He said. "I'm not used to leading many people, and I'm damn sure not used to leading changelings." I grinned at him.
"Trust me, you think its easy leading the ponies? At least changelings can naturally shapeshift. I know of only a few ponies that can do that, and all of them are rulers." I chuckled, rolling my shoulders and simultaneously causing my back to pop multiple times. "Right, enough politiking, lets get ready for the festival tonight." Bill couldn't argue with that, and we proceeded to fall back into the farmhouse, or in my case, the barn.
"Out for about ten minutes, I need to put on my costume, and you should as well." I casually told Johnnie, who nodded. "I promise I won't scrub up your stuff." I added, looking at the decorations slapped around the interior. As Johnnie left to go to the house, I strolled over to the darker corner and picked up a rusted-looking piece of metal.
"So, what's the plan for tonight?" A voice that I haven't heard in a while asked.
"If you're cool with it, we can change places at midnight." I told Dune as I stipped, before sliding on some grey material that resembled Major's underarmor suit. After I got it on, I started slapping the metal on one piece at a time.
"Sounds fine to me." Dune said. "I wasn't paying attention; is the costume enchanted to become equine-friendly?"
"Sadly, no." I replied as I adjusted a segment over my ribs. "But that's why I planned ahead and made a second costume for you. It's a little bit more exposed with the body, but I'm certain it'll fit nicely."
"Exposed?"
"The back of the helmet. You know which suit I'm talking about."
"Oh..." And there was another reason I sent Johnnie out; I looked like a fucking escapee from the insane asylum when I talk to Dune out loud. "Okay, now I know what you did. Does the weapon work with a hoof?"
"I didn't make it totally accurate, and I'm pretty sure the trigger was big enough in the game." I admitted, before shrugging and poking a button on the front of my chest. While I did get all the electronics on this worked out perfectly enough, I didn't have a neurological interface designed for it and I didn't bother asking for a unicorn to help with that. I don't even think Twilight has a spell for that yet.
"Fair enough. So, I'll talk to you again at midnight?"
"Yep." I chirped as the helmet extended over my head and sealed shut, giving me about thirty minutes of air if I went into a vaccum. After making sure everything worked, I rolled my shoulders and walked back to the farmhouse to wait for the others.
"How much longer will this gosh darn makeup take?" AJ asked in irritation as I slathered it all over her human face.
"You're done." I said after a moment, putting another drop on and stepping back, before reaching into my void pocket and pulling a pair of contacts back out. "Just put these in and you're ready for being creepy."
"I still don't get why you wouldn't just let me do it for mom." Apple said from her chair, swinging her feet and fiddling with the ADAM needle in her grip.
"The spirit of the holidays." I replied while AJ struggled a bit with the annoying things. "When I was a young'un like you, I actually made my own costumes instead of going to a store and buying one, premade."
"Speaking of which..." Judy, who was going as a witch in an admittedly fucking hot outfit, said from her spot on the couch, finishing with the fight over Applespice's pumpkin costume. "How do you know the right ways of applying makeup?"
"Made all of my costumes." I answered. "And it didn't hurt that the base I was constantly deployed to in Afghanistan was really into the holiday spirit. You'd be surprised on how accurate a man can make a Greek Spartan costume with a roll of duct tape, tin foil, and an old blanket." Considering that they went around naked a lot, it wasn't too hard.
Anyway, about half an hour later we were all ready to go. Surprisingly, Major decided to dress up. What was unsurprising was that he was still in his fucking armor.
"A tail and two tiny ass devil horns don't count as a costume, bro." I told him after the palm of my hand casually connected to the back of his helmet.
"Fuck you." I could hear the grin he had behind that always polarized visor. "And they're not devil horns, they're imp horns. I've been called an imp many times, might as well show it tonight."
"And did Beck go as a devil, then?" He couldn't see it behind my helmet, but my eyebrow was raised.
"He's staying at the base tonight, along with some of the others." He shrugged as we started walking down the road.
"So, which character am I again?" Johnnie-boy asked after a few moments of silence.
"Mojo, I believe." Judy answered after a moment. "Haven't watched the PPGs in a while." While Johnnie was Mojo, the CMCs were the PPGs themselves. And I have to say; they did a fabulous job at it. And if you happen to be wondering, Apple Bloom was Blossom, Sweetie Belle was Bubbles, and Scootaloo was Buttercup.
"Are yah youngsters ready," Granny, who had somehow gotten her hooves on a Yoda costume, asked from the front door. "Mac's got the wagon all hooked and is all hot to trot."
"Granny, Ah wish you wouldn't say things like that in front of Bloom and her friends," AJ sighed.
"What'fer, It's not like she's a foal no more," the elder pony shrugged as she stepped out.
To my astonishment, Applejack just rolled her eyes and followed her out. Once everyone had piled into the apple wagon, which someone had filled with hay in order to give rides out later, the oversized flying monkey let out a cheerful whinny and we were off. And yes, Mac was dressed as a flying monkey… Judy was his sexy wicked witch after all.
The trek into town was short, the town square was located to the south side of Ponyville and close to the farm and market place. Along the way we passed a rather large golden furred teddy bear sporting a red T-shirt and a giant bee. Which to my surprise, turned out to be Doc and Fluttershy, dressed as Whinnie the Pooh and a fuzzy honey bee. Guess he finally got her over her fear of Nightmare Night.
Anyhow, our first stop was Twilight's, we were going there to meet up with the rest of the family and to drop off Bill. While we humans had been hard at work, Chrysalis had spent most of the day with Sparkle-butt learning all about pony Halloween so that she could in turn, teach her hive. Yet, as we neared the Golden Oaks Library I discovered a sight that instantly made my hand want to make love to my face.
"Really Twilight," Schmidt rolled his eyes when Twi stepped from the library. "Didn't you wear that same costume last year, and the year before that?"
"And the years before that," Spike added sarcastically. "She dresses as Star Swirl every Nightmare Night."
"And what about you, Helm, you're just wearing your SS uniform from the Gala," she defended herself with a huff. "And I'll have you both know that I did dress as Celestia one year." Bet he decided to dress up as a Waffen-SS officer. I noticed that he was even wearing the swaztika.
"We were still living at the palace," the Ninja Turtle/dragon reminded her. "And if I remember correctly, you even borrowed her crown without asking, to make your costume more authentic."
"You took Celestia's crown," the giant taco that I assume was Chrysalis asked, seeing the nerdy alicorn in a new light.
It looked like Twilight was about to give a rebuttal when she caught the sight of us. "We will talk about this later," she grumped before trotting off towards the Apple wagon. Ignoring Bill who had hopped off and rushed over to his…taco, Twilight was about to give us all a happy greeting when the royal coach landed nearby. "Umm, hey guys…uhhh, be right back," she hastily said.
Taking a moment to turn my attention towards Michelangelo/Spike, I arched an eyebrow and inquired. "And what may I ask happened after the Princess found out?"
"She thought Twi's costume looked really nice, but she should have asked before taking the crown," the dragon shrugged as he followed along. "However, Celestia did make Twilight polish the crown once a day for a month as punishment."
Our laughter, that is to say the Apples, myself, Schmidt, and Chrissie's laughter, was cut off by a loud squee of joy as a small purple filly hopped off the chariot and stampeded up to Twilight. "OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH! You're Star Swirl the Bearded!" The small filly hopped and danced around a very shocked Princess before latching onto her left forehoof. "My name's Twilight Sparkle and I'm your biggest fan!"
I'd like to say this now, so, WHAT THE FUCK?
"Twily, calm down you silly filly," a white unicorn male with blue mane and tale stepped down from the wagon, followed closely by Celestia, her two sisters, and one mean looking werewolf.
"Shining," gasped Star Swirl, her eyes darting from the juvenile version of herself, now hugging her tightly, and her brother. "But…I…"
"Shiny, look," the filly Twilight called as she pulled the hem of the older Twilight's stary cape around her neck. "Can I get a cape like this for Hearts Warming Eve, huh, can I?"
"Twilight," Celestia stepped up after clearing her throat, "I would like to remind you that as my apprentice, to act with a little more decorum."
"But…but…" older Twilight's mind began to blank out on her.
"I'm sorry princess," filly Twilight quickly rushed over and sat at the hooves of her mentor.
"What the Hay is going on here," Star Swirl demanded, her mane starting to frizz out in confusion.
"That's what I'd like to know," I stated a the rest of us walked up on the strange scene.
"Hey Twilight," Pinkie chirped when she swam by. This Nightmare Night the pink party pony had chucked her chicken costume and dressed like a giant shark, her head poking from between its gapping jaws. "Ooh, Why dose Princess Celestia look like a filly version of you?"
"Say What?!0" Twilight and I demanded together. Though mine was less angry.
"Leave it to Pinkie to know who we really are." Max's voice suddenly came from Shining Armor.
"Oh poo," filly Twilight sighed, her voice becoming that of the Sun Princess. "And I was having so much fun…"
"Well I'd like to stay and figure this out," shark Pinkie giggled. "But I have to go eat Quint before he starts monologuing about dolls and their eyes."
There was silence as all gathered watched Pinkie shark bounded off, humming the theme from JAWS as she disappeared into the crowd of trick or treaters… and suddenly my brain hurt. Just a bit.
"I am truly sorry Twilight, please forgive me," Filly Twilight said as she glanced over to the still perplexed alicorn princess. "But with Moon going as I, Luna going as Nightmare Moon, and Jeremy going as Luna… It left few ideas for Max and myself."
"No, no, It's ok Princess," Twilight calmed down once she figured out just what the buck was going on. "I just wasn't expecting…" she paused as she looked again at Shining/Max and her younger self. "All of this."
"If you like, we can change into something else," Max said, probably hoping that their antics hadn't upset the Princess of Friendship.
"Its fine, really, I was just surprised is all," Twilight gave out a giggle as she reached out and hefted her filly self. "Hard to believe I was ever this small, or this cute."
"OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH! Star Swirl the Bearded is touching me!" The juvenile pony cried out in a joy-gasm, before pulling a Rarity and pretending to faint. After a moment or two, Twilight/Celestia opened one eye and asked, "Was that too much?"
"No, Sunbutt, it wasn't. You should've seen her when I found that DVD on the moon landings," I pointed out. Sparkle-butt had gone manic after seeing the DVD and asked hundreds of questions to which I didn't have the answers to… but I digress. Poor Schmidt, it was after his time and she refused to understand that for a week.
The rest of the night went surprisingly well and with all the ponies dressed up in costume, and not looking like ponies, Bill actually relaxed for a while. As for some of the other costumes out there, there were a few I'd like to mention because they stood out so much. The first was Rainbow Dash, while Duffy dressed in his ghillie suit and kept murdering that he was a bush, RD was a big bag of Skittles and wanted to know who wanted to taste the rainbow. So she was a pervert for the night.
Derpy had found a gigantic chocolate chip muffin costume while Callum appeared as the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show… a black Swedish Chef, "Mmmm, Børk! Børk! Børk!" Dinky on the other hand, happily went as a Lobster Bandito, complete with small six-gun pistols and black sombrero. All night long she would appear out of the crowd cap-gun's popping to save her mom from the chef.
Me thinks they watch "The Best of The Muppet Show" DVD way too much.
Later on that night, there was a concert that I haven't heard about before, and Anon (werewolf) dragged me to sing or some shit.
"Man, you know for a damn fact that I can't sing." I hissed, my helmet making it sound more robotic.
"Song magic, moron." He muttered back, sounding more animalistic than a human should sound.
Shaking my head, I sighed and accepted my fate for the moment, deciding that it wasn't worth fighting this.
"So, what the hell are we gonna sing?" I asked. In response, he tossed an MP3 at me.
"You have ten minutes to memorize these, if the magic doesn't get you." He explained. I stared at the lyrics, and shrugged.
"I'll be Toaster." I said. "Fuck singing a lot."
With Vinyl at her booth alongside Sergio, Anon and I took the stage to cheers from the audience.
"Greetings, Ponyville!" Anon said in his human form, the spell making him a werewolf temporarily off. "After talking with some ponies around town, I managed to put on this concert for you all." Cheering intensified, mostly from the teenagers. "I know most of you enjoy Vinyl's music, but before you all get to listen to her, I've arranged to have one or two of my world's Nightmare Night music play for you."
"And he dragged me along for some reason." I piped up, getting a few chuckles.
"This first song was created by a musician named WoodenToaster, though it is a remix by another musician named SlyphStorm." He explained, before the music started.
(Anon as Microphone, Mark as Toaster. Here's the link if you wanna listen as you read; )
"Welcome fillies and gentlecolts; no reason to scream.
Your favorite Princess is back; she's walking up on the scene
She has been stuck on the moon, but that's no reason to fret
She's not a Nightmare no more, so buckle down and get set
She's comin'; Gracin' her subjects. She ain't leavin' no choice
She's gonna blow you all back with her Equestrian Voice.
So cover all of your fears and stow away all your fright
The Lunar Princess is back; to bring the Nightmares tonight!" As soon as he stopped, it was my turn to go.
"She's living in the past
But you won't last
Without the proper care
With a royal farewell
And an animate spell
You won't have long to prep-p-pare." As I scanned the crowd, I waved Princess Celestia and Nightmare Moon forward. While Celestia was a bit hesitant (due to actually being Moon), the fake Moon came up with a small grin, just in time for Anon's next part.
"Now little fillies, this is Nightmare Night
Your ruler Nightmare Moon is back to come and fill you with fright
So hurry
Now get your goodies and fill up all your bags
And go and leave a candy offering for that big ol' hag
Get runnin'
And pray above that she's not coming back
To come and take away your soul and eat you up for a snack
So run away and go hide; just keep your head out of sight
The darkness is rising again cause this is Nightmare Night!" All throughout his singing, Anon was moving around Moon with a big ol' grin on his face.
"She's living in the past
But you won't last
Without the proper care
With a royal farewell
And an animate spell
You won't have long to prep-p-pare." And that was it. Surprisingly, the crowd enjoyed my singing despite the fact that a blender is better at it than I am. We played a few more songs (to varying degrees of success), before the both of us bowed and backed off the stage, allowing Vinyl to play her stuff.
"Oh my, I have not had this much fun in years," an enthusiastic Filly Twilight/Celestia was grinning from ear to ear as she and Max, now human again, made their way back to the royal chariot. "And check out this haul!"
"Hee hee, Yeah, you did rather well," Max chuckled, lifting the filly up onto the wagon. "But Luna made out like a bandit."
Sure enough, the princess of the night had two huge sacks floating along in her wake, both full of candy and other sweets. Not only had she gone trick or treating with John-boy and the CMC, but each foal she met along the way, give her a tribute of a hoof full of sweets. The real Nightmare Moon who was still disguised as Celestia, was not happy at first, but after Luna agreed to share her hall, she perked up.
But the real kicker of the night had been a diminutive pinto colt named Pipsqueak. Not long after arriving in Ponyville, little Pip had appeared at NMM/Luna's side and never left. According to Jeremy, Pip was one of Luna's first friends after returning from the moon, and that they spends one night a week playing in the dream realm together. Lately their playtime had shifted from airship pirates, to space explorers, all thanks to the Star Trek movies that had arrived with Hanna.
Captain Pip and first lieutenant Luna, along with their intrepid crew explored the universe in their starship, the Faire Fire. "Will you and Security Officer Jeremy be dream-walking this weekend?" the little Night Guard colt asked.
"We wouldn't miss it for all the bloodwine on Kronos," Jeremy saluted his dream Capitan.
"Indeed, we have a battle date with the Klingons out near the neutral zone tomorrow night," NNM/Luna leaned down and nuzzled Pip.
"You're still the best princess ever," he hugged her before waving goodbye and trotting home.
"You should make that boy an honorary Night Guard," I chuckled, after all the excitement of tonight, I just couldn't help myself.
"She already did," Jeremy said as he turned and headed for the royal coach. "Last year for his birthday."
"Really?"
"I told him that I would grant him one wish, anything his heart wanted and it would be so," Luna nodded as she used her magic to stash her candy away. "To be taller, to be the captain of his own flying ship, whatever he wished…" I watched as she became silent for a moment, a proud smile slowly crossed her muzzle. "And yet all he wanted was to be one of my guards."
"On that note, sisters, we need to be heading back to the palace," Moon said as she climbed aboard the coach.
"But I don't want to go back," Filly Twilight whined, glomming onto Star Swirl's foreleg again and refusing to let go. Celestia's antics got a good chuckle from all, but the night had come to an end and soon enough, the royal wagon was flying off into the darkness.