On Maki's Case

It was a rather lazy evening at the Investigation Club. I was sharpening my wits and my dexterity with a spirited game of Menko. It wasn't my fault that I was the only one playing, of course. Or that the surface I was playing on involved a hat. I had just successfully flipped a card that had landed on the brim into the hat, and was poised to enjoy a decisive victory when I heard an unfamiliar sound. Someone was knocking on the door. To force them to lower their guard, I pretended to fall off my chair, then scrambled to my feet, looking dangerous and disheveled, as if I had been interrogating the new widow of the dead heir to the albacore fortune, for hours. Like that.

I should have realized she was trouble when I heard her ask "Is this the 'Idle Research Club'?" but she blind-sided me with her - I won't call it a voice it was a concealed weapon. Worse met my eyes as I whipped my head around as I usually do when I overhear that insulting school nickname for my very serious and effective club. I didn't know where to look. Her eyes were like twin windows looking into Heaven. I won't discuss her chest, since I am a professional always. I quickly passed my eyes past her backside, but alas, she had another ambush waiting for me.

When you hear about legs that won't quit, believe it. The image of them was burned into my memory like a sunspot. Flashing. Flashing. She even had seductive feet! I realized I had to be on my guard before I was in over my head.

I carefully checked my pockets. Cuffs, taser, lipstick, compact ... wait. I still hadn't said even "Hello." Time to take charge:

"You must have the wrong place, sister!" I managed to say. I don't understand why my voice squeaked, perhaps I was finally getting my growth spurt. "This happens to be the Investigation Club. President Yazawa Nico at your service. Maybe you've heard of us?"

I dared to look at that perfect face for a second. She had rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow, actually. Nonetheless, I continued.

"Normally there are fees to be discussed, but helping lost maidens find where they should be going is no charge," I said, nonchalantly, and offered my arm. Just like that, she shook her head and sat down. "Just out of curiosity ... well, have you ever actually investigated anything?" She demanded. Then, as if it had just occurred to her: "Oh, and ... where is everybody else?"

The dame was a stunner any way you looked at her, but pouting, petulant and curious at the same time was almost more than Nico could take. For the first question, I just showed her our case portfolio. While she flipped through it I pondered how to handle the other one.

She'd not shown much emotion up till now, but I caught her looking at Nico out of the corner of my eyes, and, worse, *smirking*. She'd heard of us, all right. I confirmed my first hunch. She was trouble on two legs. But unfortunately for Nico ... what legs they were.

"I suppose I should be nicer, if I want help. It's not that I think this is really some kind of detective group, but two heads ... one and a half ... are better than one. I wish to engage your whole club, disregarding the fact that school clubs aren't supposed to collect fees beyond club expenses."

That made Nico's head whiplash following its twists and turns, but the idea of a fee which might enable her to complete her Natsuo Kinno movie collection and even buy the next season of Milky Holmes made me go on my best behavior.

"What could a beauty like you need from a hard-boiled gumshoe like me, if you don't mind Nico asking?" I asked, eagerly.

"Some of the other girls here suspect me ..."

"Of?"

"... murder."

In order to keep anyone who might be lurking outside waiting for the girl, a gorgeous firstie named Nishikino Maki, off guard, Nico had pretended to fall off the chair again.

After Nico admitted everyone else had left the Investigation Club after a couple of investigations which, while successful, had turned violent and dangerous, we headed out. Maki snorted at the magnifying glass Nico tossed into her purse, but it's a genuine necessity. At least, as the Nishikino heir, she was good for the fee. We strode out the front door of the Otonokizaka building where Nico's office was and turned right past trees and a bench. There, next to the trees, was a chalk outline, within which the alleged victim of my beautiful allegedly murderess companion lay peacefully. If you didn't count the blood and foam at its muzzle.

Yes, it turns out the victim was the cool, aloof bijin Ayase Eli's beloved Borzoi dog. And from the chatter of a trio of second-years nearby, I concluded that what my client was accused of was closer to malpractice than murder. Still, Eli was staring at her with her own version of murder in her cool, haunting eyes. Meanwhile, a miniature version of Eli was clutching her side while rivulets of sadness ran down the girl's innocent, angelic face. In the portfolio, this section was definitely going to be called "A Battle of Beauties."

Nico ordered the Nishikino heiress to go hide behind the second year trio. Her haunches raised at that, but Nico isn't going to be the #1 detective in the world by being a cream bun. The look I gave her caused her to shy her eyes away, only to meet Ayase's death glare. With that, the proud hotness that was Client Maki humbly scuttled to the other side of the trio.

Nico immediately whipped out a magnifying glass and searched the area around the victim, right up to the bushes near the trees. I was so focused that when I ran into ... marshmallows? ... it took me a few seconds to look up. Nico was indeed being attacked by two giant marshmallows attached to a girl she knew casually. Unfortunately, the girl, a frivolous creature in my year who couldn't take detective professionalism seriously, banked on her admittedly kissable lips and soulful eyes, or Nico would have long ago told her what was what. It was only shock that prevented me from moving for quite a while.

Nozomi's laughter - that's who it was - brought me out of my stupor and I spluttered, and, eventually, pulled my face out from between her entrapments. "I'm on a case, Nozomi. Don't tamper with the crime scene!" I managed to stammer out.

"If we check Maki for fingerprints, will Nico-chan become a prime suspect, I wonder," she said, laughing. I glared at her but she just laughed harder. Fine, I would put the frivolous probably gravure idol to good use. "You're Ayase's friend. What's her dispute with Maki about?"

"Sadly, Nico, it's a short story. Ayase's family's beloved companion was acting sick, Maki gave her some medicine and she died. According to Alisa, the dog had just eaten some rotten fish, nothing that should have killed her. Eli's demanding justice, but we haven't gotten her to specify what that would involve."

The crime scene was nowhere to interrogate my lovely client. This was where Nico showed complete confidence, in fact. "How did Maki-chan come to do such a thing, Nozomi?"

"Ara, Maki-chan already? I thought I heard noises when you had more girls in your club. Such a scandal, Nicocchi!"

I just gave her the blank face that said, answer the damn question.

"Elichika claims she didn't ask Maki to get involved, and as her best friend, I can't contradict her." But I noticed one hand pointing at Ayase's little sister. Clearly, she was culpable for seeking her out, if Maki was guilty of malpractice. Not that that would help with fees or love lives ... never mind, I was on the clock.

Nico noticed Maki shivering, and not necessarily out of guilty fear. I went over and gave her my cloak. It looked amazing on Nico, but even though it might be a bit small, it looked even better on her. I glanced back at the victim, who still had vapor rising from her muzzle. Something tickled the back of Nico's mind ... something was as wrong as a Natsuo Kinno scenario.

Nico marched over to the two sisters purposefully. Confidence is 90%. "Ayase Alisa-san. Did you and your onee-chan get a package of candy from Russia lately?" I demanded suddenly. Eli tried to signal her not to respond, but she nodded tearfully. "Chocolates?" Nod again.

Now, it was time to interrogate the client at the crime scene. "Nishikino-San what did you give the dog?"

For once, the sultry creature wasn't withdrawn and superior. "Potassium bromide. It's the strongest non-prescription anti-seizure medicine for animals." Time to go back to the Ayases.

"Ayase Eli-san, what's the dog's name?"

"Her name? You ridiculous ..."

"What's her name, we're going to be discussing her and Nico is respectful."

"It's Arieriso ... it's short for Alisa, Eli, sobaka." It turns out sobaka is Russian for dog.

"Okay ... Arieriso, she just got here after traveling from Russia?"

"Yes, she hasn't even been home to sleep."

"And she'd been in the trash before she had a seizure?"

She looked miffed, but nodded. Hey, she was no longer looking murderous at least.

"And Alisa fed her chocolates before that?" Alisa flinched, and Eli whipped her head to stare at her poor little sister.

"Nico's been checking all this on her phone, and the KBr really is a recommended treatment. And if Nishikino-san was paying attention and estimating the weight?" At that I looked at Maki. She nodded. "Then I think malpractice can be ruled out, though not a combination reaction. The fish makes the dog sick, she's already having her liver overloaded with chocolates, She's exhausted and stressed, Arieriso goes into seizures, and she can't handle the potassium bromide, and here we are."

Everyone looked sad. Alisa, Eli, Nozomi, Maki. This wasn't how Nico liked to end a case. Not ever.

But, fortunately, I didn't have to.

"It's a cold day, isn't it, Maki-chan?" I asked, daringly using her first name. She nodded.

"And the poor dog died a while ago?" I asked Eli. She glared at me, but nodded as well. Well, she wasn't the one Nico was trying to make into a ... wait, I was on the clock.

"Then Nico doesn't understand ... why is there still steam coming from her muzzle?" I said, dramatically sweeping my arm over and pointing at Arieriso. With that, while they all sat stunned, I stalked over to the poor beast and used a judicial amount of smelling salts. The creature snapped its head back and almost bit Nico. It barked feebly then whined. Ayase was immediately phoning a veterinarian, assisted with the task by the second-year trio, as she didn't speak Japanese perfectly.

Later, the Ayases and their recovered dog went to thank Nico, but unfortunately, it jumped up on me and I am tiny, so ... nonetheless I kept my good humor even under 110 pounds of monster, which endeared me completely to Alisa.

My good mood was due to the night before, and Maki-chan sneaking back to the club and hanging around after the school was closed to thank Nico properly. Lying entwined later, our clothes mostly missing, Nico mused aloud that good publicity from the Ayases and the rest might make the Investigation Club popular enough to fill the club room up with members again. Maki offered to join. But then she said, "If you're serious about getting other people cluttering up the place, Nico, you need to have your head examined." Then she prevented Nico from discussing anything with treacherous kisses and other indignities.