Chapter 1: Memories

It was the end of the school day, and Nick was especially exhausted. He didn't get the best sleep last night since there was someone occupying his mind, but at the time it seemed worth it. He'd been giving this online dating a shot, but it quickly became clear why he never gave it a shot in the first place. It was filled with horny guys or women just looking for a free meal, and frankly just gave Nick an unsettling feeling.

There was only one person he actually thought he might have a chance with since they had hit it off almost immediately and they'd been texting each other almost every day. His name is Sebastian, and Nick thought he was the sweetest guy he'd talked to in what felt like ages. He would do the smallest things that would just fill Nick's heart with such joy. Although there were a lot of good things about him, he couldn't ignore the red flags he'd been noticing as well.

Nick was walking towards his office after teaching his last period of P.E at Truham, crisscrossing between students who always thought the halls of the school were their own personal jungle gym. He would only scold the ones that really got out of hand since he understood how it was like to be a teenage boy at school. He reached his office and turned on the lights to the small room with various different athletic decorations and sat down on his rickety chair. He booted up his computer to try and complete a little bit of work when he heard a very obnoxious but rhythmic knock at his door. He rolled his eyes and scoffed. It's annoying how much he could tell who it was by a simple knock at the door.

"Come on in, Darcy" He typed his password into his computer waiting for her to come bursting into his office with some kind of exciting news about her day.

"Nick, Darling! How did you know it was me?" She had a cheeky smile plastered on her face.

"I've known you for 6 years now, Darcy. I know how you love to knock on people's door." Nick laughed.

Darcy pouted and closed the door and sat on the edge of Nick's desk. She was wearing her usual brightly coloured button up shirt with dark coloured shorts and black trainers, but Nick noticed the apparent kid-made necklace draped around her neck.

"Did your cousin give you one of his creations again?" Nick said as he pointed to her neck.

"Yeah…isn't it adorable?" She beamed. She was always happy when one of her little cousins created something for her. She pulled it down with her hands to show Nick all the different beads and pendant and Nick noticed it was space themed. Darcy really did love everything about space, and it very much suited her in every way possible.

"That's not why I'm here Nicholas." She shifted on the desk to face more towards Nick. She immediately seemed a lot more excited than she usually is. Nick gave her a puzzled look.

"I found this bar down in London that does late night music and there's one band that I REALLY want to check out. I've already talked Tara and Imogen into going but I really want you to join us." She really couldn't hold her excitement which made her resemble a chipmunk that was given too much caffeine.

"I don't really do bars anymore, Darcy. I have to be a responsible adult now" Nick turned towards his computer and opened a file with all his students' grades. He really didn't have the mental ability to do any grading right now, but it was something he couldn't ever escape.

"Please Nick? You don't even have to get drunk, I just want to enjoy a night out with everyone. You do owe me one night out, remember?"

Nick swiftly turned back around to face Darcy who wiggled her eyebrows at Nick. He chuckled at the memory of ditching the group to hang out with a woman he really fancied during college. Unfortunately, she ended up being an absolute prick the whole night with her mates. He really regretted his decisions that night and told Darcy that he owed her a night out and there was no way he could say no. Clearly, she'd been holding onto that favour for a very specific day. Nick lightly shook his head and sighed.

"I do owe you a night out…" Nick looked at Darcy who looked like she was ready to explode with pure excitement.

"Okay, I'll go. I'm only having ONE drink though. I know it's a Friday, but I have practi-."

Darcy squealed and gave Nick the biggest hug, not even waiting for him to finish. Darcy then went on to explain the band that she really wanted to see that was performing more towards the end of the night. It was a mix of pop-punk and rock, which really didn't seem like a good mix to Nick but he was willing to give it a go for Darcy.

"I've been to one of their shows and believe me when I say their energy is electric! It was probably the best show I'd been to, and you know I go to a lot!" Nick admired Darcy for her unapologetic passion for live bands, and music in general. If the pay wasn't so shit, I'm sure she would have gone into something with music.

They got talking about the band, Nick asking a bunch of questions to get a better feel about the band, but Darcy was giving very broad details about them. That was very unlike Darcy to not spill every little detail about a band that she really likes but Nick chalked it up to her only seeing the band live once. There was a lull in the conversation between them, and Nick took the opportunity to try to get some work done before going out tonight.

"I need to get these grades in before the end of the day-which has already come and passed" Nick groaned whilst looking at the clock that beamed 3:47pm.

"How do you make the time go by so fast when we just talk?" Nick laughed and started packing up his bag.

Darcy shrugged "I don't know, maybe I have a superpower!" She heartily laughed. She got up from the edge of his desk and skipped towards the door.

"So, doors are open at 8:30 and it should start around 9. It all depends on the band." She turned around to face Nick with the child-like grin across her face. She abruptly turned back around and said her goodbye before swiftly exiting. Nick stood there a little stunned. He brushed it off and finished packing up and headed towards his car.

As he made his way through the empty halls of the school, he was abruptly hit with a memory as he went by a set of specific lockers. He was thrown into a flashback of the moment where he asked Charlie to join the rugby team, which sparked their whole relationship in his opinion. He could remember the way his heart was pounding as he walked up to Charlie, clearly concentrated on finding something in his locker. His concentration face was quite adorable to Nick. It showed the unfiltered and unmasked side of Charlie that he was blessed to see.

He was taken back at the memory since he usually always goes down this hallway to get to his car. So why now did his brain want him to remember the moment? He felt like he was transported back to his 16-year-old self, trying to understand these deeper feelings for someone who he had just begun to become friends with, and ultimately changing his whole life around. He must look like an idiot just standing in the hallway.

"Nick, you alright?"

Nick jumped at the voice that appeared behind him. He turned and saw Mr. Ajayi carrying a variety of papers and books on his side. He still looked just as young as when Nick was still in school, even though it's been roughly 7 years. He was still an art teacher even though he had the chance to become the principal of the school, but he claimed he could never stray away from a position like the Arts.

"Mr. Ajayi, you scared the crap out of me!" Nick clutched his heart trying to stop it from jumping out of his chest.

He gave a stern look "What did I tell you about calling me Mr. Ajayi? You can call me Nathan."

Nick rubbed his neck. "Sorry, just a force of habit" He nervously chuckled.

Nathan looked at him with an expectant look, "Soo, are you alright?" Nathan adjusted his books and papers in his hand.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just…I had a memory of high school pop in my head, and it just caught me off guard that's all." Nick smiled weakly, desperately trying to hide his embarrassment.

Nathan didn't seem like he truly believed him when he said he was alright, but he sighed, and he continued walking towards the doors. Nick quickly followed him wanting to forget the moment.

"I didn't mean to scare you, by the way. I wasn't really being overly quiet, and I thought you heard me." Nathan confessed. Nick laughed.

"Oh yeah? And how do I know it wasn't just payback for me accidentally scaring you and Youssef a couple weeks ago?" Nick teased playfully back at Nathan, trying to break the uneasy tension of worry.

"Oh, I'd totally forgot about that honestly!" Nathan exclaimed. He was trying to stifle a laugh but failed. They both laughed as they got to the doors of the hallway.

"Don't work too hard over the weekend, Nick." Nathan raised his hand in a fist to Nick and held it there. Nick reciprocated and gave him a fist bump before they both pushed through the double doors. Nathan swiftly made his way to the parking lot where he saw Youssef waiting for him. They've been together since at least the Paris trip when he was in year 11, and they've recently just got married. Nick was ecstatic to hear about their relationship, even though they never intended for people at school to find out. They weren't being very careful, and a student saw them kissing in the classroom during lunch and, knowing schools and gossip, it spread like wildfire.

Nick slowly walked to his car, still reminiscing about his high school life. After what happened to Charlie, the whole school changed. There was more initiation on mental health and "Seeing the signs" which Nick thought was kind of bullshit. There were people who could hide it very well and would never think about reaching out to get help, like Charlie. Maybe that's why they pushed it a little more than usual. They probably thought if they gave anyone who might have been struggling the choice to be able to talk to someone in confidentiality, it would prevent another student's suicide attempt.

Nick's eyes started to well up with tears, remembering the whole aura of the school after that heart-rending assembly. There was a heavy sorrow floating about for the whole week afterwards-even the teachers weren't really sure how to navigate through it. They never mentioned who it was, but I think a lot of people knew who it was anyways.

He could never forget the night he got the phone call. He woke up to his phone vibrating and the bright screen showing Unknown around 3:15 in the morning. He answered a bit aggravated, but the tone quickly changed to worry. It was Tori on the other side. He sat on the phone with her in complete shock, never thinking he would hear her saying the words Charlie and suicide attempt. He heard the constant beeps of the monitor behind Tori's shaking voice, which should have given him some comfort knowing his heart was still beating and he was alive.

It didn't.

He was extremely grateful for his mom that night. She comforted him throughout the night while also feeling the sorrow of the news since she cared for Charlie like her own child.

There were a few people who reached out to Nick throughout those couple of weeks, obviously knowing he and Charlie were "good friends" at the time. The one person who astounded him was Harry. Nick assumed he finally realized what the outcome of his relentless bullying would be and felt incredibly guilty for his actions. As the year progressed, he saw a huge change in Harry's personality and behavior, and they started reforming a friendship later in the year. Nick never thought they would ever become friends again, but I guess some people can change for the better. Unfortunately, he fell out with Elle, Tao and Isaac and I'm sure they were happy to have him out of the picture anyways. He did stay friends with Tara, Imogen, Darcy, and then later Sahar when she came to Truham for her last year. It was quite rocky at the start because both Tara and Darcy are friends with Elle, but they never seemed bothered that we were a separate group of friends thankfully.

He bumped into his car, not realizing he wasn't paying attention to where he was. He reached into his pockets and got his keys out and put everything in the back seat. He sat down in the front seat and mindlessly started making his way to his apartment in Gillingham. It was nice he was able to find a place that was both in between Kent and London, but sometimes it meant going for a half an hour or more drive to visit anybody.