Chapter 1.
Castiel didn't enjoy his trips to St Louis. He would rather have been at the bunker with Sam and Dean or at Sioux Falls with Bobby and Meg and yes, even Crowley. Jules had offered to come with him, but he wanted her far away from all of this and from him, when he was tainted by this association he couldn't shake off.
The apartment building was far from luxurious, but it was safe and clean and provided more than adequate shelter. He was still paying the rent. The arrangement had been that the resident would pay, once he was earning enough but ... Well, that was why he was here, again, called not by the occupant, but by the employer who thought Sam Beyoncé was his parole officer.
He knocked on the door, unsurprised when he got no response. It was 11 am and Chuck rarely crawled out of be d before three. He opened the door with a touch and a wall of body odour and rotting food assaulted his nose. He felt the usual irrational shame by association. This was his father's house. Well, his father's unkempt apartment.
Chuck was on the couch, wearing a grimy T-shirt and pants that would probably be able to stand up on their own. His arm curled around a bucket that had held fried chicken. His last shower had been some time ago.
"Wake up!" said Cas.
"Screw you!" said Chuck, "You haven't been here for weeks!"
"I've been busy." said Cas.
"Doing what?"
"That doesn't matter." said Cas. He picked his way through the trash on the floor and began to gather dirty dishes and cups. "Why don't you clean this place?" he said.
"Why should I?" said Chuck.
"Because you live in squalor."
"My life, my apartment."
"Which I pay for."
Get me a credit card and I'll pay for it myself." said Chuck. He asked every time. He knew Charlie could give him a limitless credit card. He also knew why Cas refused to ask her.
"If you want money, earn it. You haven't turned up for work all week."
"So what? It's a dumb job."
"There's nothing wrong with it." said Cas, taking his collected dishes to the sink. He sighed and cleaned the sink before filling it with soapy water and starting to clean.
"It stinks, cleaning up other people's crap. I'm not their damn servant!" Chuck yelled from the couch. Cas knew he intended to belittle him as well as complain. Chuck was petty and cruel.
"Well, you walked out on the Gas 'n' Sip job."
"That was a crap job too."
"Then find another. I did my best."
"Get me my powers back." said Chuck.
"That will never happen."
"You have no loyalty, no respect." said Chuck.
Cas left the sink and dried his hands on his coat. The towels in the kitchen were not fit for use. He went back to the couch. "You had my loyalty. You had my respect. You squandered both. I was always loyal and I still am, in a way. I serve Heaven and the Winchesters."
"Just not always in that order."
"It hardly matters now, with a Winchester ruling Heaven."
"Jack's not a Winchester. Jack is the child of Lucifer." said Chuck.
"Dean decides who is a Winchester. His word is good enough for me." said Castiel.
"Just think. If I had killed Lucifer, things might have been very different."
"You really think that was your big mistake?" said Castiel, "It wasn't that."
"Do you think I care about the opinion of a third-rate, thrice fallen angel who worships two hunters in cheap flannel?"
"What if I said your problem was that you were too good a writer?"
The arms unfolded and the artist formerly known as God said, "I'm listening."
"What you created, all of it, was incredible. Sam and Dean above all. They're not mere characters. They never were. There's too much life in them and if you had followed them, as you should, you would have found, as I did, infinite growth and infinite wonder."
"I'm God. There was nowhere for me to grow."
"Debatable. You chickened out and chose to shrink and become petty and controlling. It's not the writer's place to control the characters. You should have been their chronicler."
"Their fan, like you? Like Becky?"
"Not their fan, their author, the creative spark that gave them life. But, having given them life, you didn't trust them. You lacked faith."
"I was the one they were supposed to have faith in." said Chuck.
"You lacked faith in your creation and therefore, ultimately, in yourself. You're in this mess because you had no confidence. That's funny, isn't it? Because even you think you're an arrogant son of a bitch."
"And this, to you, is loyalty? There's certainly no loyalty to me left in you."
"Do you imagine you deserve any?" said Castiel.
"You come to gloat. You don't care."
"Of course I care." said Castiel, "I served you faithfully for billions of years. I lived to please you. I loved you. You were my father and I your devoted son."
"And you sided with the Winchesters against me."
"Yes and would do so again. But that doesn't mean I feel nothing for you."
"The devotion is gone."
"Yes."
"So what's left, Castiel?"
"Perhaps pity, compassion, some residue of affection. To see you suffering is painful to me."
"If I had won, your suffering would have been Mardi Gras to me." said Chuck.
"Yes, because you were never able to learn from the Winchesters." said Cas. He went into the small kitchenette and peered into a few cupboards. "Where do you keep your cleaning things?"
"What cleaning things?" said Chuck.
Cas sighed. "Wait here."
"Where am I going?" said Chuck, "There's nowhere to go."
Cas blinked out of the dirty room and into a small store, where he purchased the supplies he needed for the job. He reappeared in the apartment.
"So, you have your wings back." said Chuck and Cas wondered whether he should have kept that a secret.
"Yes and so much more."
"In favour with the new King of Heaven. That's just great. I hope he knows how unreliable you can be."
"He knows that he can trust me." said Cas He had no intention of telling Chuck how much responsibility he had been given, or that he was no longer just an angel. He still felt a little unworthy of his new powers and duties. Bragging would be out of place and could be considered both cruel and hubristic. He always strove to be neither.
He washed the rest of the dishes, then started to tidy the rest of the apartment. "I will do this for you once more, but you might care to watch how it's done, because I am not your servant and you can't afford a maid."
"I can live however I want." Said Chuck, petulantly.
"You like living in this chaos?"
"Love it, actually." said Chuck.
"Fine. I'll leave it as it is."
"Well, okay, if you really wanna fix it now, you can. I mean, for old time's sake."
"How does it get this bad?" said Cas.
"I don't know." Said Chuck, looking around the room, "Being human is hard. Nothing about it is easy or fun or good. I sweat now and that's disgusting and these wrappers just come from nowhere. I mean, when I was living among humans incognito ... when it was a game ... a role ... a cameo by the big man himself , it was pretty frickin' sweet, but now it's dirt and sweat and waking in the night needing to pee and being so weak and gross and ... well, human all the time." He grimaced. "Then there's that stupid job, cleaning the streets."
"I've been human. I had a job too. I came to enjoy it."
"You were created to be a slave. I was not. I want a better job."
"Then find one."
" Not that easy. Nothing out there fits my skills."
"There are lots of low-level jobs out there."
"Low-level? I've been going for low-level. Middle management, Castiel! It's degrading even to imagine doing such work, but I need to eat. By rights, I should be running some vast transnational conglomerate, but they won't even let me run their dumb little chains."
"I was thinking more vending machine cleaner or mailman"
Chuck raised his hand and they both looked awkwardly at the hand poised to smite that could no longer do so. "I will never lower myself so far!" said Chuck.
"Honest work is not demeaning. Indeed, it can be profoundly fulfilling."
Chuck waved an arm to indicate the apartment. "So, get fulfilled. Knock yourself out. Clean this place up. I think I might take a shower."
Cas sniffed and said, "Yes, I'd say a shower is long overdue."