Chapter 3.

In the bunker's library, Dean was looking at the large plate Anael had brought in. It had cut up apples and scattered grapes and blueberries. "What's this?" he said.

"I call it fruit." she said, "It's good. You've been working a long time. I thought we could share a snack."

It was cute. It was the kind of couply thing they did now and most of them were great, vut he'down never really thought of fruit as a snack.

"You don't like it, do you?" she said.

"I never said that."

"So you do like it?"

"I don't eat a lot of fruit."

"It's very healthy."

"Yeah, that's probably why."

"Oh," she said, "Your self-destructive thing?"

"No." he said, "What self-destructive thing? Healthy stuff is just boring."

"Exercise is healthy and you didn't mind that workout we had this morning." she said. That was undeniable. The wisp of ivory satin she had bought a few weeks before had a powerful effect on him and with the bunker otherwise empty, it had seemed an opportunity too good to pass up.

"Yeah, I enjoyed that." he said, "If Sam and Eileen stay gone for a few more hours, we could ... "

"Maybe." she said, "A healthy diet is good for stamina."

He was instantly offended. "Are you suggesting I lack stamina?" He was all too aware that compared to her, he had none. Angels were untiring and it was always Dean who had to call a halt.

"Of course not!" she said, "Is something wrong?" She looked troubled. Another problem with angels, they were deeply insecure.

And so was he, he realised, weighing every remark from her, searching for incompatibilities that might not even exist, fearing he could never be enough for his celestial lover. He took her hand and drew her onto his knee. "Only the stuff that's always wrong, just me being a jerk. Let's eat the fruit. You went to a lot of trouble to prepare it."

"If fruit is weird for you, just think of it as a naked pie." she said, picking up a grape and putting it into his mouth.

He bit into it, as his mind savoured the wonderful way she said , "Naked." He fed her a couple of blueberries. "I love naked pie." he said. He looked into hers eyes and added, "I love you." It still felt strange and a little dangerous to say it but it also felt so good, especially when she put her cool hand to his cheek and lightly kissed his lips. "I like you naked, too." he said.

"You said you liked me in satin."

"I like both. I'm easy."

"Sam told me that about you." she said. She was funny. Most angels weren't. Most struggled with the concept of jokes, but her sense of humour was sophisticated, intelligent, human.

He took a slice of apple from the plate. He'd never seen the point of fresh fruit, but that piece tasted good. He laughed at romantic trash about things being different, just because of a girl, but the laughter came less readily now. It was mostly stupid, of course, but he had to admit, to himself if not to the others, that being around Anael changed things. It changed him.

She reached for a grape and he took a blueberry. Then he grinned and said, "Before we eat it all, I need a picture."

"So you remember what pie looks like naked?" she said.

He chuckled. "To send to Sam." he said. He took the picture and sent it with the words, "Having a snack."

He was eating another grape when Sam replied, "What have you done with my brofher?"

"Naked pie." said Dean.

"I don't even wanna speculate." said Sam.

Anael looked at the screen. "You confused him." she said.

"Me with fruit is not a concept he's used to." He touched a slice of apple to her lips and she bit into it, then took it from him. "It's not a concept I'm used to either." he said.

"But this is the new you," she said, "Happy, healthy you, living the life you deserve."

It was a sweet but chilling thing to say. The last thing he wanted was the life he deserved, but if he said that, she would worry. She'd think he was slipping into self-loathing. He said nothing

She got up from his knee. "How long do you think we have?

"No idea." he said. "I'm not sure where anyone is."

"You could ask."

"If they wanted me to know, they would have said. Sam and Eileen said they'd be a while. They might be shopping for the nursery. Cas told Jules to go to Sioux Falls without him, so he's not there. I'm guessing he went to Heaven. He spends more time there since Jack took over. He could be gone for hours or back any minute."

"We could go to our room anyway. It's not like we have to hide it now."

"Yeah, we never hid it well." he said. Their secret hook-up in the motel had not remained secret for even the next morning.

He knew she was right. Everyone in the bunker knew they were together and were happy about the fact, but he still wanted to be discreet. He was happy, even proud, for them to know he was sleeping with Heaven's hottest angel, but it felt awkward to imagine them knowing when it was happening.

Not that she was Heaven's anything now. Jack had set her loose, releasing her from all celestial obligations and that was great, except that it wasn't enough for her. She still wanted to become human. She wanted to be mortal, vulnerable, breakable. All his instincts were against it, but he was human and he also really wished they could have both been human from the start.

"Not interested?" she said.

"I don't think we have time." he said.

"Okay." she said. The word had an edge to it, the angelic insecurity kicking in.

"It's not ... "

"No." she said.

"I like time and space, that's all."

"Okay." she said again.

"I want it to be just us, without Sam or Cas banging on the door."

"It's fine. I get it. I prefer that too."

"So you're not disappointed?"

"Only a little." she said, "I like sex, but we'll have all night."

"Yeah, we will." he said, hoping she was as fine with it as she said.

She sat on the edge of the table. "You're not happy."

"I think too much." he said, "I'm not unhappy."

"Just filling your head with everything that could go wrong?" she said sympathetically.

"Something like that."

She bent to kiss his forehead. "Right now, everything is going right."

He reached out and drew her closer for a proper kiss. "Yes it is." he confirmed.

"So let's just enjoy the now. Worry about the bad stuff if it happens."

"Problem is, it always happens." he said, hating his own pessimism.

"Sounds like a good reason focus on The good things that are happening now." she said.

"Yeah and I'm trying to, but I suck at happiness."

She smiled a little sadly. "You've never had enough of it to get into the habit. Neither have I. We're both feeling our way here. We'll figure it out."