Red and Green Poll
If you asked how the Evil Clones of the Ninja survived their encounter with their originals, they'd punch you in the face to hide the fact that they didn't know the answer.
Well, they'd punch you in the face regardless, but that's beside the point.
Still, the how doesn't matter. What matters is that they did and now they wanted revenge.
They just… weren't quite sure how to go about it.
They needed a plan, but whenever they came up with one something new happened that would stop them in their tracks.
Initially, they'd just hidden because if Lord Garmadon had gotten wind of their survival after failing him so badly they all doubted they would be surviving for much longer.
Then, after Lord Garmadon became the pacifistic Sensei Garmadon, the time seemed perfect to strike…
But before they could, their lame originals seemed to get a hold of a pet kaiju cat that could take out buildings for fun. No way they were going against that until they had a solid plan to handle it.
But the longer they waited, there came more obstacles to contend with to get their revenge.
Like the Ninja getting another set of clones, and these ones were just as goody-two-shoes as their originals and included an older set of clones for Nya and that bratty Lloyd kid.
("Two Nyas," Evil Jay mused when he heard the news with a considering smirk on his face. "Wonder which one kisses better?"
Evil Cole shut down any ideas he had immediately with a sharp, "If you want to die just to find out, be my guest. We're not saving you from your original this time."
Evil Jay grumbled but dropped the subject.)
Then they got their hands on a pet Leviathan, which ruined any plans they had to lure them out to sea to take them out.
("It was a stupid plan anyway," Evil Kai said, hiding how relieved he was to hear those plans scrapped. He would never admit to his 'brothers' that he had inherited his original's inability to swim and fear of water. There was no telling what they would do with that knowledge.)
Then the White Ninja got a girlfriend that was smarter and had more sense than the entire Ninja team combined, so any attempts to take advantage of the Ninja's inherent stupidity would come of anything (all of them blatantly ignoring the fact that since they were exact copies of their originals aside from the evil, then they would be equal in intelligence).
(" He got a girlfriend!" Evil Zane had shouted in outrage upon hearing that fact. " HIM! He's as dull as a plank of wood without even villainy to spice things up."
Evil Jay glanced at the other two and whispered so the wicked Nindroid wouldn't hear him. "Did he just admit being evil is his only interesting trait?"
Evil Cole snickered, and Evil Kai said, "Yeah, sounds about right.")
Then ANOTHER set of clones with their own kaiju cat showed up, and they were just as goody-goody as the other sets. And to top it all off, all three sets of Good Ninja seemed to be stronger with their elements than them, especially when one of the older Lloyd clones was nearby. Meaning that the Bizarro Ninja (Gayle Gossip was also on their list of vengeance for coining that name) were now vastly outnumbered and outgunned.
And if they were doomed to failure, why even try?
"That's it!" Evil Jay shouted as yet another plan was scrapped. "I give up! To heck with those stupid Ninja!"
The other three clones stared at him.
"I beg your pardon, Yaj?" asked Evil Zane, or Neza as he was going by now. They'd all realized quickly that just calling themselves 'Evil' in front of their original's name was both stupid and just an annoying mouthful, so they'd scrambled the letters for new ones.
"You heard me, I quit!" Yaj said bluntly. "We couldn't beat them when they were backed up by toddlers, and we definitely can't beat them now that there's a dozen more of them and the toddlers."
The other evil ninja glanced at what had been their latest attempt at a plan that was just discarded because the Lil'Terrors were insurmountable in succeeding at it.
Evil Cole, now Cleo (a name he'd resigned himself to after the others latched onto the worst letter combo they could think of wouldn't let it go, and no amount of pummeling would dissuade them, but he'd get them for it someday) sighed. "I never thought I'd say this, but he's right. There's no point in this. All any of this will end up doing is getting us destroyed for real."
Evil Kai, or Aki, looked scandalized. "Are you kidding me? You idiots are just giving up?"
"Yep," said Yaj.
"Pretty much," said Cleo.
Aki was furious. "Fine! Then Neza and I will just take them down ourselves."
But Neza was tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Actually, their willful abandonment of the cause has merit," he said. "Especially for our continued survival."
" Seriously!" Aki screeched in disbelief.
"Indeed, seriously," Neza said plainly. He then gave the rest of them a baleful look. "And besides, giving up on this endeavor has the added benefit of no longer needing the rest of you."
"Same here," agreed Yaj.
"Good riddance," said Cleo.
Even Aki couldn't argue that point. Whatever brotherly feelings their originals had didn't exactly carry over when they were created. Evil and affection didn't really gel after all. None of them really liked each other and had only stuck together this long out of necessity.
But if revenge was off the table they finally would have an excuse to go their separate ways.
Still.
"You losers may be fine with running off with your tails between your legs, but I'm not giving up," snapped Aki furiously. "I'm getting back at that red-wearing nimrod if it's the last thing I do."
Instead of being insulted, Cleo just snorted and looked amused. "You sound like your original," he said. He then made a goofy face and said in a mocking tone. " Ninja Never QUIT!"
Aki shot him a dirty look. "You watch your mouth," he snarled. "I'll show you! I'll show you all!"
With that, he grabbed his sunglasses and stormed out of the Bizarro Ninja's hideout, determined to take his counterpart on directly.
The other three watched him go.
"Welp, he's dead," said Yaj nonchalantly. "Dibs on his stuff."
Aki's anger carried him all the way to the forests surrounding Steep Wisdom before the danger of being in enemy territory made him force himself to calm down and move more cautiously.
But soon found he didn't need to, as the sound of shouting reached his ears. No one would hear him coming over that racket.
Good.
With a wicked smirk, Aki crept closer to the tea shop. He could recognize his original's voice among the din, so whatever was happening involved him. He would just need to wait for the right opportunity to strike.
However, as he got closer the shouting became clearer and he realized his original and the little green brat were arguing. Over what and with who, he couldn't say, but it was sure being a good distraction. Who cares what they're arguing about?
Well, Kai apparently did, given how passionately he was yelling about it.
Whatever.
Aki finally reached the treeline surrounding Steep Wisdom and peered past the branches.
Only to be met with one of the most bizarre sights he had seen in his short life.
Kai and Lloyd were indeed on the scene. As were Kai and Lloyd the second, and Kai and Lloyd the third. All three sets of the red and green duo were present and heatedly debating…
…While dressed up in weird outfits.
"Are you kidding me?" Kai the original was saying, wearing the most normal outfit of the group, dressed in an orange striped t-shirt and shorts.
"Yeah," the tiny original Lloyd agreed, in a white button-up shirt and purple pants that seemed to swallow him. "Phineas and Ferb are the BEST! They do everything any kid would ever want to do."
"Instant classic for all ages," Kai the original agreed. "With great music and freaking hilarious story beats that never get old."
One of the Kai clones scoffed and rolled his eyes while dressed in overalls with a red shirt underneath. "Please, you want to know what's an actual classic, Spike?" he asked, tugging the large hat he was wearing down to show off the M on it. "Mario and Luigi. That's what."
"They've been around for decades, they're mascots of their company, they have more games than you can shake a stick at and are one of the first things you think of when anyone says 'video games," the teenage Lloyd next to him agreed, dressed in an identical outfit, only green with an L on his hat.
"So what you're saying is, they're fossils," the original Lloyd sneered.
"Whoa, Spike, Toyger, Lil'Loyd, Lala, calm down," said the third, also teenage Lloyd, dressed in pants with vines wrapping up his legs and a dark green jacket and a strand of ivy tucked behind his ear. "You all make good points and your characters are great… Harley and Ivy are just better."
The four that Plant Lloyd was addressing immediately squawked in protest.
"He's right," said the Kai next to plant Lloyd, who was dressed as a red and black jester of all things and swinging a large mallet around to punctuate his point. "Harley and Ivy have something all your characters never got! Growth!"
"No offense," agreed Plant Lloyd. "But your characters never changed, but Harley and Ivy. They started off as generic bad guys but then over the years have characters developed into anti-heroes or even straight-up heroes in their stories by overcoming their personal demons and character development."
"And they kick so much butt together," added Jester Kai.
"That too," agreed Plant Lloyd.
"Yeah, but Mario and Luigi could totally take them," said Overalls Kai.
"And Phineas and Ferb's pet secret agent platypus could beat all of your picks and be home for dinner," sassed Little Lloyd.
And with that, the argument dissolved into shouting once again.
From his hiding spot, Aki could only stare.
Seriously? This was what he and his 'brothers' couldn't beat? These idiots waste time arguing over what he could only guess was fictional characters while dressed as said characters.
These idiots were his nemeses. What even was his life? These morons couldn't even fight their way out of a paper ba-
Before he could finish that thought he had to duck as Jester Kai got so caught up in the argument that he lost his grip on his mallet during a dramatic gesture and it was sent flying directly toward Aki's head.
The mallet missed but smacked into the tree with a hard thunk.
And then, because all Kais had to be a Master of Fire, some embers he'd burned into the mallet's handle during his passionate debate managed to set the grass around the fallen hammer alight, starting a fire and cutting off all other arguing as the six ninja scrambled to put it out.
Aki beat a hasty retreat to avoid being seen. Once he was a safe distance away he growled in frustration.
Somehow, revenge seemed less appealing now that he knew all the goody-goody Kais were brainless buffoons. Maybe cloning himself so many times had cost him brain cells.
As he made his way away from Steep Wisdom to reconsider things, he accidentally bumped into two people on the road.
Looking up to curse out the clods, Aki felt his words die in his throat as he caught a glimpse of them.
It was another Kai clone. This one was wearing a red headband under a red and white baseball hat, a red and white zipped-up t-shirt, and jeans held up with a belt that had red and white balls clipped to it.
Next to him must be another Nya clone, though she looked a bit different from the other three with green streaks in her hair. She was wearing a white hat with a red ribbon, a blue-green shirt over a red skirt, and the same red and white balls clipped to her belt.
"Hey Spike," the new Kai clone brightly and striking a pose said. "We're here for the debate. Guess who we are?"
Aki just gaped unattractively.
The new Nya clone's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and she leaned in to study him. "I thought we were dressing as our favorite red and green characters," she said. "Why are you dressed like Porty MK trying to be Kai?"
Aki had no idea what a Porty MK was, and instead of answering, he took several steps back to get her out of his space.
This only seemed to confirm something to the Nya clone, as her eyes widened and she pointed at him accusingly. "MK! It's a clone!"
The new Kai clone's eyes narrowed and he pulled a red and gold staff out of his ear. "I'm on it."
Knowing it was past time to scram, Aki sent a burst of fire and smoke at them and bolted before it cleared.
He didn't stop until he was miles away and collapsed to the ground panting in exhaustion.
Maybe Yaj had a point.
Quitting was sounding pretty good right about now.
Okay, so backstory. About a month ago I asked if anyone had suggestions for the chapter this year. Impulsivefanwriter suggested the parts about the Bizarro Ninja and Mei mistaking Bizarro Kai for Porty MK.
However, Impulsivefanwriter wasn't the only inspiration. If you like Ninjago on Tumblr, you'll know that recent polls about popular characters associate with colors have been a trend lately. And a big one was a Red and Green Character poll that had Kai and Lloyd as one of the contenders. It wasn't much of note until they had to go up against Mario and Luigi in the poll's second round. Suddenly it was serious business with Ninjago blogs promoting the poll vehemently to get people to vote. Some people, myself included, offered to draw Lloyd and Kai in the Mario Bro's outfits if they won. The incentive seemed to work, as Lloyd and Kai won the round, and went on to win the rest of the poll, coming out as the top red and green characters. In celebration, me and a few others drew them in the outfits of each set of characters as they were beat. Ninjago SWEEP!
Anywho, that drama inspired me to somehow include it in this year's chapter because it was just the right brand or ridiculous. As such, all the characters the Kais, Lloyds, and MK dressed up as are ones that Kai and Lloyd beat in the poll (Mei and MK weren't on the poll though, I'm hoping they make a Green and Yellow one) and they get to be the ones arguing who is best. It also gives me an excuse to use the drawings I made in a story.
Credit to KittyDemon9000 and Impulsivefanwriter for the name Aki as Bizarro Kai. I don't know if they came up with the altered names for the other Bizarro Ninja, but credit to them too if they came up with the same ones.
Credit to Kay Hau for Toyger Kai and Lala Lloyd
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Happy April Fools Day, see you next year.