Hey guys, happy Tuesday!

Here's a little update.

Like always, thank you for reading and reviewing!!

Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Nina

The conversation they were having reminded him of the ones they had when they had just met. Friendly but extremely formal.

Back then it had to do with the nature of their relationship. Kim, the teacher of his niece and Adam, the uncle of her student.

Now it had to do with the awkwardness of how they had left off their relationship before she went to Maryland.

Adam knew that she loved him and that she trusted him, he could even understand where she was coming from and how her interaction with Tess had probably been the straw that broke the camel's back, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Truth be told, these little text exchanges were giving him a breath of fresh air and a tint of hope.

Just when he was about to answer her question he was interrupted by the doorbell.

He put his phone down and went to see who it was.

"Sorry I didn't call before showing up, but I figured you'd be here." The voice immediately said after he opened the door.

"Well, it is my place." Adam said matter of factly. "Did something happen? Is Gracie ok?"

"Oh yeah. She's fine. Everything's fine actually. Are you going to invite your brother inside or are we gonna hang out here in the hallway?" Kit asked, matching his brother's energy and the younger Ruzek stepped aside and used his hand to gallantly invite him in. "Thank you, what a gentleman." Kit joked.

"Do you want something to drink?" Adam asked.

"No, I'm good. Listen, are you free right now?"

"Yes."

"Ok, great. We're going out for dinner then."

Adam looked at his brother with big eyes. It had been a while since they last hung out together, just the two of them.

"Really? Do I look that bad?"

"What do you mean?"

"We haven't done this since Kim was in the hospital."

"Well, maybe that's because you have done nothing else but be with her since you got back together."

Adam let out a lone sarcastic chuckle. "Lucky for you that won't be the case anymore."

"Oh, come on. Don't be dramatic." Adam looked at his brother like he was about to kill him. "Don't look at me like that. I understand you, I do, but you know what I think about this."

"No I don't. The last thing I recall is your wife telling me what an asshole I am."

"Well, she does have a point." Adam rolled his eyes at Kit and the older man only laughed. "Look, the way I see it. This is only a hiccup and it's normal. Maybe it's not ideal, but from my experience, it's the way you grow and build a healthier and stronger relationship. Kim loves you, she's been through a lot and she's afraid."

"I know."

"And you love her, you've also been through a lot and you're also afraid. And guess what? We all are when we're in front of something so great." He said simply as he shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, you can't stay away from each other. I'm not worried about this."

Although Kit might have a point, Adam still felt like punching him in the face. Let's see how lightly he took it if the ones troubles were him and Anne instead. However, he did appreciate what his brother was doing.

"But I didn't come here to give you love advice." Kit continued. "I came here to take you out for dinner."

"That's right. Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Adam rolled his eyes again, he was a bit annoyed but he decided to go with the flow.

He got his keys and his phone, and right after he stepped out the door he answered Kim.

Kim, sorry for the delay. There was a change of plans and apparently I'm going out for dinner.

Do you mind if we continue this conversation another time?

He really wanted to keep talking to her, but considering the whole break thing he didn't want her to feel smothered.

Yeah, sure. Have fun.

Her answer was short and sweet, he expected something like that.

He reacted to the message with a heart and put the phone in his pocket.

The drive with Kit was longer than Adam thought it would be, but the light conversations about Gracie, work and sports made the ride fun and dynamic.

"Where the hell are you taking me?" Adam finally inquired as he looked out the window. He wasn't really sure if Kit even knew where he was driving, since he was constantly looking at his gps.

"We're here!" Kit said proudly once he parked in front of a 9 storey building. His younger brother looked confused and honestly he couldn't blame him. "Ok. Um. Adam?"

"What?"

"We're having dinner with mom."

"Come again?"

"You said you wanted to talk to her."

"Well yes, but not like this. Not this, this unprepared." His stuttering gave out just how nervous he was. He hasn't spoken with her in years and even though there were a bunch of things he wanted to say to her, he wasn't even sure where to start.

"Listen, she texted yesterday to ask about Grace, I told her we wanted to see her and she invited us over." Kit sighed. "I'm sure she's nervous too, Adam."

"Yeah, right."

"Hey, I said I would be with you and I'm not backing down."

"I think what you said was that you were going to be there with me when I was ready and I don't remember telling you I was."

"Adam, come on. This is as good a moment as any. And to be honest, I think talking to mom can help you straighten up some thoughts." Kit shrugged.

"Fine."

"Ok. Let's go."

They were already in the elevator, waiting to get to their destination. The doorman had been kind enough to let them in after Kit told him that they were there to see Liz on the fifth floor.

"Oh yes, she told me she had visitors today. She was very excited." Reginald explained after introducing himself to the boys, like Liz referred to them earlier. "You can go, the elevators are on the right side."

Adam was looking at every single detail.

"Cut that out. You're not canvassing a scene." Kit scolded him. For the first time in the evening, Adam could tell that his brother was nervous too.

"Sorry. I can't help it." Kit rolled his eyes at his brother's answer. Sometimes Adam reminded him a lot of their father. "So, have you been here before?" The younger brother broke the silence inside that awfully slow moving metal box.

"Nope. Figured our first time here should be together." The cop nodded. "Hey, it'll be alright." Kit squeezed his brother's shoulder in reassurance, the way he always did, getting nothing but another nod from Adam.

The ding indicating they were finally there startled them both a bit.

Adam watched as his brother joined him in taking a deep breath and started to walk ahead of him. After all he was the older brother and they were in that situation because Kit had arranged it, he couldn't just walk out or push his little brother first; but standing there, in front of that door and trying to find the courage to do what was obvious, Kit was surprised to notice that it was Adam the one who rang the doorbell.

Looking at Kit's shocked face, Adam just cocked his head to one side and shrugged. "One of us had to do it eventually."

The door opened in record time and when he saw the face behind it he felt all kinds of feelings.

She looked exactly like she remembered her, only older.

"Boys! It's so wonderful to see you. Come in, please."

Both of them stepped in timidly and the smile on Liz's face couldn't get any bigger even if she tried.

The house was impeccable, which made sense because both Adam and Kit remember their mom being a brat freak when they were little.

"I wasn't sure what to make, so I made Mac and Cheese. I know you two love that."

"Yeah, when I was six." Adam said bitterly earning a scold from his older brother.

"No, Kit. It's ok. Adam's right." She took a deep breath. "I actually should have started this conversation by apologizing to both of you, and telling you just how grateful I am that you're here."

"Apology accepted." Adam said softly.

"Look at you two. You're so big, all grown up." Liz was getting emotional, and she didn't want to break down in front of her boys, especially because she was the one who caused that and they didn't deserve that right now. She needed to show them that she was a strong woman, at least stronger than when she left them.

She kept walking, in an attempt to guide them to the living room where she already had drinks, cheese and crackers and glasses with ice ready for them. "Please, help yourselves to whatever you want."

The fact that there was no alcohol on that table was giving Adam a few clues already. "So tell me, what have you been up to? Kit, how's Grace and Anne?"

"Everything is good. Grace is having the time of her life and Anne is struggling with being away from her. It's still a little bit triggering for the both of us, but we're getting there."

Liz nodded with that permanent smile and turned to look at her younger son.

"I know you had to do with getting Kit and Anne back home. It must have been so hard for you. When I hear the news I was so proud of you."

"Adam was out of this world and not only with us, also with Grace. I honestly have no words to express my gratitude."

"Well it wasn't just me. It was my team, dad and Kim." When he mentioned her name he realized he didn't want to bring her into the conversation right now, talking about the state of his relationship was draining and painful and he was going through a lot interacting with his mom as it is, he didn't need to add any more pressure on it for the time being. Instead he changed the topic. "You were proud of me? Really?"

"Of course."

"That's odd. I mean, I did end up doing the same job dad does and if I'm not mistaken, you weren't really understanding when it came to what we do."

"Adam." Kit said under his breath.

"No Kit, no." He looked down for a second and then lifted his head up. "I can't sit here and pretend nothing ever happened. I understand you had to do it for Gracie, but I can't.

How can you tell me that you are proud of the exact thing you hated, that was the reason why you and dad split up and expect me to nod and buy it?"

"It had nothing to do with Bob being a cop." She sighed. "Your dad and I, we were going through a very rough time, he…"

Liz couldn't finish because Adam beat her to it.

"He want? Don't you dare blame everything on das because he was the one who stayed by us, who had to make up excuses when you never showed up, who had to deal with our shit alone."

"I would never blame it on your father. Never. I am so grateful for him, he's a wonderful man. I mean you two are living proof, he turned two wonderful boys into outstanding adults, with amazing hearts that would do anything for their family."

"So, let me get this straight. If dad is not the problem, then what was? Us?"

Adam couldn't stop talking while Kit observed from his place on the couch. The truth was that he had the same interrogatives as his younger brother, but never had the balls to be upfront to his mom.

"No. No, God Adam, no. Please don't think that. Kit do you think so too?"

Kit nodded and Liz felt her heat rip in half. She achieved the one thing that she wanted to avoid, hurting her boys.

"I am the only one responsible for what happened, and let me tell you that not a single day goes by without me regretting my decision."

"Why did you make it?" Kit finally spoke.

"When you were little I had a drinking problem. I never did it in front of you so you had no idea, or at least that's what I think, but your dad was impossible to fool. In fact that was the reason why we fought so much, and we ended up using the excuse of his job, but it had nothing to do with that." She sat straight in her chair and looked at them with all honesty. "The reason we split up was because your dad asked me several times to get help and I always declined it, saying that I didn't have a problem and that I could stop whenever I wanted. The truth was I couldn't.

I got wasted one night, I came back late and forgot that he had a long shift and I left you guys alone because I was out drinking." The embarrassment in their face was immense. "That was it for your father, and of course it was. Who does that? Anyway, we split up and the plan was that I was going to get better and still be there for you, but I couldn't. I started mixing up the day I was supposed to see you, then I would forget them all together because I was drunk all the time.

Bob would reach out and try to help me out, but it was too late. I had screwed up a lot and I thought the best thing I could do for you was step away from your lives. I don't want you to see me like that, or to have that example so I left because I thought that I was doing an act of love. You didn't deserve that and I sure as hell didn't deserve those two increible little boys. I didn't want to hurt you guys."

"Well, you did anyway." Adam shot back.

"I know, and I'm so sorry about that."

"And what happened after that?" Kit wanted to know more about what had gone on with his mother's life.

"Well, I was drunk all the time, so eventually I passed out. I had to go to the hospital, I was there for quite some days." She smiled faintly. "Your dad found out somehow and showed up to see me, even offered to take you guys but I asked him not to." Liz made eye contact with Adam. "You were about to turn 13 and I didn't want to ruin your birthday with my issues. I remember Bob showed me pictures he had of you in his wallet and that was the moment I decided I was going to do it, I was going to ask for help."

She made a brief pause to breathe. "And I did. I reached out to your grandparents, I went back home and eventually went into rehab. It was a very long road, with many setbacks, but eventually I did it. You were about to get into the Academy and you Kit, you were doing so well in law school that I was afraid I would step in and screw everything up again." Her eyes began to water, she couldn't hold it any longer. "I felt awful, you both were doing so good and I knew nothing

about you. I refused to let anyone tell you anything about me, I thought you were better off like that, and in a way it's true. Look how perfect you two are. It pains me to know how much I missed because I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't the mother you boys deserved, you deserved, you needed something better."

"We needed you, mom." Adam confessed. "Or at least know something about you. Do you have any idea how many night I went to bed wondering what was wrong with me that you didn't want to see me anymore?"

"Oh honey." The tears were rolling down her cheeks as she got closer and held his face between her hands. "There was never anything wrong with you, my precious little baby. I was the one with the problem and I didn't know how to solve it. I hurt you, your brother, your dad and also myself and I'm incredibly sorry. If I could turn back the time I would change everything, I would fight harder for you, be stronger, reach out sooner." Liz wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "There's nothing I would love more, than to be in your life, in both of your lives." She said looking at both her kids. "In whatever way you would have me. Well, and your for forgiveness."

"We forgive you mom." Kit expressed first. "Yeah, it hurts, it sucks, but we understand."

"Yeah, what Kit said."

Liz smiled and went on to hug her children. "I love you boys. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder for you. I regret that."

The darkness in his apartment welcomed him with open arms.

He was exhausted and Kit was too. Their dinner with Liz had been brutal for their emotions, but it was much needed. There was a lot he didn't know about his mother's journey and even though it still hurt, knowing the truth was like some sort of soothing balm.

He threw himself on his bed and just laid there for a while just thinking, analyzing the last conversation he had with Kit before going into his building.

"That went better than expected." The older Ruzek stated right after turning off the engine of his car.

"Yes. I still have a lot to process though."

"Me too." He paused before looking at his brother once more. "She kept talking about how sorry she was and that she regretted everything. I think that is one of the most important lessons we can get out of this, try to have the least amount of regrets as possible, be strong and fight for what's important."

Kit squeezed Adam's left shoulder as the latter one looked down.

"Good night bro. Try to rest."

Rest. That was really hard to accomplish with everything going on in his head, and all he could think about was talking to Kim, telling her that he'd met his mom and just sharing everything about it.

She was the person he wanted to always come home to and never run away from. He had no doubts at all.

Kit was right. They had to learn from their mom's mistakes. He was going to be strong and he was going to fight for what he wanted.