Chapter 11 Truths Revealed

Emma had run away from her most recent group home. It was probably one of the worst she's been in and she was only 10. She was being bullied by the older kids and decided after today's incident, she wouldn't be staying another night. They had teased her relentlessly for believing her parents were out there and had taken her baby blanket and threw it in in the garbage. She had tried not to cry as she pulled it out and tried to wash it as much as she could in the bathroom sink. That night once everyone was in bed, she packed her stuff in a bag and ran. She knew her brother was out on the streets. There wasn't a single foster home that could keep him inside. He ran away so much, the system let him fall between the cracks. He was officially a lost boy.

She managed to find a warm spot under a freeway bridge where other homeless people were camped out with burning trash cans to keep them warm. She kept her distance and created her own fire with the matches she always kept on hand for the nights that she ran. At the tender age of 10 years old, she had learned how to survive out on the streets.

Her fire was small and weak so she pulled out the ugly duckling book that August had given her. He never made it to Canada. He stuck around to watch over her, even from the streets. She was always surprised to see him appearing out of nowhere whenever she was moved across states or cities. This time she was in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

"Are you really going to burn that?" August was suddenly standing before her. She didn't understand why he just didn't take her with him. He always told her she didn't belong out here. She didn't belong in group homes either. So where did she belong?

"It's cold," she shivered.

"Lack of kindling should be the least of your problems. What are you doing out here?"

"I ran away! It was a crappy group home and it's none of your business." She was angry at him. She was sick of him being such a hypocrite, getting annoyed at her for running away when he has been running his whole life. He was nearly 17 years old. He was old enough to go make a life for himself. Besides, the system already gave up looking for him.

She tore the pages from the book without a second thought and just as she was about to toss them into the fire, August grabbed them from her hand.

"Stop! These stories are great. I loved this one when I was a kid."

"You're still a kid," she snapped back in annoyance.

"I've missed your spunk kiddo," he smirked. "When I was your age these stories are what gave me hope. It's why I gave them to you. The best fairytales are about the same thing, transformation."

She didn't respond, because how could she believe in hope and transformation when she has been alone her whole life, unwanted and unloved with nothing but an old blanket and a fairytale book.

"Look," August tried getting her attention. "The duck becomes a swan, it's beautiful." He handed back the pages and she examined them with disbelief.

"That's not what it's about. The duck was always a swan. Just didn't know it."

"Maybe that's how you see it," August said. "But I see it as about belief. About a duckling believing so hard that she'd become a swan. One day it actually happened. If we believe in something strongly enough we all have the power to change our fate. Speaking of which, is this really the fate you want?"

She looked around, taking in the fire pits and tents and homeless people. The smell of burning fumes and humans was rancid. No, this wasn't something she wanted. To be homeless on the streets.

"Maybe your last home was bad," August continued. "Doesn't mean you won't find a good one someday."

His words had gotten to her. His hope speech had the effect that he was hoping for, because as much as she was still hesitant to return, she knew the streets weren't for her so she had let him take her to the nearest police station.

Of course August had disappeared the minute she entered the doors. Little did she know that was the last time she would see or hear from him until she'd wound up in prison 7 years later. He was in and out of her life, and as much as she loved him as her foster brother, sometimes she wished he could just leave too, that way it hurt less.

The officer who took her in was nice enough to give her hot cocoa and a big jacket from the lost and found. Soon she was sitting at her desk while the officer asked her questions.

"How long have you been on the streets?" she asked, looking at her with sympathy. Emma looked away.

"A while."

"What's your name, honey?"

"Emma…"

She barely remembered her adopted family anymore. She was never given their last name. The adoption wasn't even finalized when she had been given back. She didn't even have a last name.

"Swan," she decided, because maybe someday August's words would come true. Someday she'll change her fate and find a place to call home. "My name is Emma Swan."

"Are you sure!" Emma snapped into the phone. "No one by the name Rose Red ever attended school there?" She was on her last nerve, losing hope as each high school she investigated gave her zero answers. It's been weeks of endless searching and she had nothing to show for it but the old receipt from the diner. The administrator on the phone apologized again and Emma sighed in defeat. "Thanks anyway."

She hung up and stood up from her desk chair in the makeshift office she had created for herself down in the basement. She ran her hands through her messy curls, looking down at the mess of files and paperwork and feeling more defeated than ever. It was possible this woman may have used a fake name, and if that was the case, she was back at square one. Feeling more frustrated and defeated than ever, she decided to take a break for the day. She wasn't going to get any more answers. She had already called almost all of the high schools surrounding Portland and not a single one had records of a Rose Red. She could have blindly missed the correct school without even knowing it if her mother had used a fake name on the receipt.

"Where the hell are you," she grumbled, a flare of anger rising from the frustration. "Why the hell is it so hard to find you?"

Her phone chimed, ripping her from her contemplation and providing the perfect distraction. She had a meeting with Mal today. She had finally come to Emma a few days after her party to ask for her help in whatever had happened in her last case. She requested for Regina to join as well.

They were meeting her at her place this afternoon. She opened the text message to see that she was just confirming. Emma immediately replied and then headed up stairs. Regina would be home from work any second now.

"You gonna be ok here alone kid," Emma asked as she came into the living room to see him playing his games. He paused it and looked up at her.

"Of course," he smiled up at her.

"We'll order dinner after and watch a movie," she promised, plopping down on the couch beside him, and messing up his hair. He playfully pushed her away and handed her a second control.

"Wanna play till mom comes home?"

Her heart warmed at the invitation, their relationship so much better now that he finally forgiven her. As intuitive and understanding her son was, he could also hold a grudge. He was like Regina, he felt things just as deeply as her. She took the controller and spent the next 20 minutes getting her ass kicked by a teenager who played these games way too much to be this good.

Soon, the sound of the door opening could be heard along with the rustling of coats and shoes being removed. Regina came in dressed in jeans and a flannel. She usually removed her work boots outside, and never brought them into the house. She looked so beautiful when she dressed so casually for work. Emma loved seeing her in jeans. She must have been gazing at her because Henry was suddenly rolling his eyes and muttering for her to get it together.

"You're staring," Regina blushed, plopping right down on the couch beside her and kissing her lips, making their son groan in faux annoyance. His eyes gleamed as he slid to the floor and continued his game. He loved when they were affectionate even if he would never admit it.

"You're just so beautiful," she smiled, into her lips before pulling back to look at her. "How was work?"

"Productive," Regina replied. "Although I couldn't stop thinking about our meeting with Mal. I'm worried. I've never seen her break down like that before."

Emma gave her a soft assuring smile and gently reached up to cup her cheek. Regina had been worried sick since that night, and so had Emma. They've never seen such a vulnerable side to Mal. She was always so controlled in her emotions no matter how stressed or tired she was. She always kept an air of professionalism.

"Whatever it is, I'm going to try my best to help her."

Regina nodded, looking into her green eyes with so much trust. Emma owed so much to Mal for saving the love of her life. If she hadn't taken Regina in, who knows what their lives would have been. Now it was their turn to offer Mal a helping hand. As relieved as she was that Mal had finally come to her, she also welcomed the distraction from her own mystery case. Maybe a change of scenery and perspective might help. She felt like she had hit a dead end with figuring out who Rose Red was.

"I'm going to go change, and then we'll head out," Regina said, kissing her cheek and then getting up and heading for the stairs. When she was gone, Henry paused his game and turned to her.

"What do you think happened?" he asked, curiously but also concerned.

"I don't know, kid, but it can't be good."

"No…" he shook his head. "But I think she'll get through it. She worked so hard for her career, and I don't think she will let her practice slip through her fingers so easily. She'll fight for it no matter what, and she'll win because that's what heroes do."

Emma was speechless at the words coming from this kid. It was moments like these that she questioned where he truly got his belief from. He certainly didn't get it from her. She lost hope so many times in her life, and she certainly wasn't in a good place when he had found her. She had been alone and hopeless.

"Everything isn't so black and white," she said.

"I know," he nodded. "I also know that heroes don't always win but it shouldn't mean they should still lose hope."

"I'll be sure to remember that," she nodded just as Regina came down the stairs in slacks and a blouse. Her make up and were retouched, indicating no sign of her having spent the entire morning at the stables.

"Alright, don't spend the entire day playing. Get some homework done," Emma said, getting up from the couch.

"I'll be checking in with you in an hour," Regina said, coming over to kiss his forehead.

"Alright mom," he said, giving her a soft smile before returning back to his game.

Soon they were on their way. Emma couldn't help but notice Regina fidgeting her hands in her lap as they drove to the beach. It wasn't until she parked outside of the loft, did she cut the engine and gently placed her hands on her girlfriends in an effort to try and still them. She squeezed her hands and waited until Regina met her gaze.

"It's going to be ok," she assured her. "Whatever it is, I'm going to help her."

"What about your investigation for your mother? That's important too."

"It is, but I'm also hitting a dead end. Maybe this will be a good distraction for now until I could come up with something."

She nodded, although the deep worry in her dark eyes remained.

"What is it?" she asked, coaxing her to open up more.

"It's just, I have a feeling her past is going to come up. I have a feeling she is going to share a lot more than what she is comfortable with. It's not good, Emma. It's dark and painful, more so than you could ever imagine."

"I'm not expecting her past to be anything but pretty. I realized it since we were up in the field with all the flowers. Do you remember that day?"

Regina nodded, a small smile finally on her lips.

"While you and David were looking for flowers, I asked her about her past. I could see something in her that I saw in you. She never told me, but I knew it was heavy. I knew it was why she was able to get through to you."

"Now, you'll see why," she whispered, a bit of anger in her eyes. Anger that wasn't directed at her but the abusers that had taken advantage of them.

"Ready to go inside?" Emma asked, giving her a small assuring smile hoping to alleviate some of her anxiety.

"Yes, the sooner we find out what is wrong, the sooner we could help."

Upon inviting them in, Emma noticed for the first time how stressed Mal looked. Her eyes were tired as if she hadn't slept with dark circles and red rimmed eyes. She seemed to have lost something. She wasn't the confident woman she had come to know. Emma had a feeling she must have been up last night, anxious over this meeting.

"Thank you for coming," Mal said as she led them over to the couches where she now conducted her sessions.

"We're happy to help," Emma said as she and Regina sat on the couch and Mal sat across from them on an armchair. On the coffee table between them was a charcuterie board of cheese, fruit and crackers.

"I'm just relieved you came to us," Regina admitted with a shaky sigh of relief. Mal gave her a firm nod of acknowledgement. She seemed to have trouble getting started and so Emma decided to help coax her.

"Go ahead," she encouraged her patiently. Mal took a deep breath, her eyes fixated on her hands until finally looking at the two women before her with fiery determination.

"I took on a case this past summer. A young woman who believed she was filled with darkness. She believed bad things happened to her and everyone around her. Her name was Lily. I spent months working with her, trying to rebuild her confidence and self esteem. She had fallen into drugs before she came to me and was coming off of heroin. I really thought I could help her…" Her voice seemed far away as if she were back in that cabin with that poor girl. Her blue eyes shone with unshed tears and her voice started to tremble. "She had a lot of demons to work through, but her family refused to leave her in my care longer than 3 months. They were afraid of the news getting out that their daughter was in rehabilitation and what that might mean for their image. They were one of the more wealthy families from Minnosota. They cared more about their image than the proper care for their daughter."

She took a deep breath, and then focused her gaze on Emma.

"She was adopted, and the family who adopted her were never able to truly connect with her. She was a runaway for most of her teen life. And even when she tried to escape them as an adult, they still held so much power over her. They forced her back home even before she was ready despite my insistence that she stay at least 6 more months. They refused my medical advice and took her home…"

She stopped, getting up and moving over to the large glass windows to look out into the sea. Emma met Regina's eyes, exchanging a knowing glance. Mal needed a moment. Emma had a feeling that it only got worse once Lily had left. After a long moment of silence, Regina stood and approached her. She gently laid a hand on her shoulder, coaxing her to turn and face her with tears stricken cheeks. Mal had been silently crying and Emma had never felt so heartbroken for her.

"Mal, take a moment…" Regina took both of her hands, and something silent between them passed. Regina was coaxing her to breathe. She was grounding her, and keeping her present. "You could do this," she whispered. Mal had a grip on Regina's hands, as if she were holding on for her life. Maybe she was. She turned to Emma and then once more looked at Regina.

"After a week of being home, Lily… She took her own life…" Her voice came out as a sob and Regina was immediately pulling her into her arms. The woman seemed to have just broken. All the tension and grief Mal had been holding onto burst and she sobbed into Regina's shoulder. Regina looked over at Emma with devastated tears swimming in her own dark eyes. Ever since they had met her, they've never seen her break down like this. She had lost a patient and it now made sense why she seemed to have lost her confidence. Emma realized she lost confidence in her abilities as a psychologist.

"Mal…" Emma was getting up and helping Regina to guide her back to her seat. She sat on the armchair and attempted to control her tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be sorry," Regina said, kneeling before her. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this alone. Why didn't you come to us sooner?"

"I wasn't allowed to," she scoffed, taking the offered tissues that Emma swiped from her desk. "The family blamed me and sent their lawyers after me. I'm being sued for malpractice. I'm going to lose the cabin. I'm going to lose everything. My license as well. They dug up my records…" She stopped immediately, realizing what she had just revealed, the secret Emma knew that only Regina knew.

"Mal, I know you have a past. I know there are things you don't want to share, but if you want me to help you out of this lawsuit, I need to know everything." She looked at Regina with such a heavy look of hesitance, Emma was kind of dreading to finally know what happened in her past.

"You can trust her," Regina nodded reassuringly. A look of understanding flashed between them, a look so heavy in each of their gaze Emma swallowed nervously.

"It's a long story," Mal sighed apprehensively. "And it's… It's hard."

"We all have a past here," Emma assured her. "I'm not going to think any differently of you or judge you in any way."

Mal didn't respond. Instead, she averted gaze and then suddenly got up from her seat and disappeared up the stairs to her bedroom. Regina and Emma exchanged questioning looks for a moment before she returned with a file in hand. She retook her seat, looking at Emma and handing her the file.

"Before you open that, let me just explain what happened."

Emma nodded, feeling as if the folder weighed more than it should. She and Regina sat back down across from her, the folder snuggly placed on her lap. Emma listened as she told her story. She seemed to have fallen into her memories, her eyes glazing over and she spoke in a tone that sounded as if she were far away from here. She listened as she spoke of a version of Mal she had never met before. One that was a lot like Regina, living in fear and fighting for her life. She had always expected the abuse, but what she didn't expect was the gruesome details that came with falling in love with a psychopath.

The physical abuse wasn't even the worst of it. The mindfuck games she played on her emotions, riling her up just for a reaction and then violently knocking down was cruel. The controlling behavior, the gin induced rages, spending money when there was none to spend. Mal worked herself to the bone and starved because of the selfishness from Cruella. The jeweled expensive gun that she waved around like a deadly threat. The gaslighting in making her believe her career was nothing compared to the fashion industry. She knocked down her confidence, her self esteem, and held her back from so many opportunities. Mal was trapped in a cruel game where her mind, emotions and self worth were manipulated like pieces on a board game.

And then she got to the dog.

Emma listened in horror as Mal told her about Perdita, how Cruella, as cruel as her name, murdered and skinned her into a coat. One that she wore when Mal finally faced her. It took everything she had not to run out of the room and vomit up the cheese and crackers as she listened to how Mal fought for her life and reached her hand into that grotesque pocket to retrieve the gun.

She killed Cruella…

She was stunned, because she had known it was bad, she just never expected it to be this bad. Mal had fallen silent and was watching her with a strong gaze as if she were stealing herself for the judgment, despite the tear stricken cheeks and red rimmed eyes. She wondered just how many people she had told and faced negative backlash.

She was an ex-convict… just like her, and Emma understood that all too well. She understood the negative assumptions people often got when they'd find out she spent time in prison.

"I'm so sorry you had to relive it," Emma said softly, feeling Regina slipping her hand into hers. Regina had remained silent and Emma somehow knew that no matter how many times she heard this story, it never got easier. She now understood their connection as two survivors who had lost everything, and then had fought their way to the surface. "And I don't think of you differently than I did when I walked through the door. You did what you had to do to save your life. I will not condemn you for that and I will definitely not let Lily's parents condemn you for what they don't understand."

Something like relief flashed in Mal's eyes, and the tense posture that she held herself in relaxed, her shoulders slumped and she took a needed breath.

"The file contains all of my records from the investigation and my time in prison as well as the lawsuit against Lily's family. My lawyer contact information is inside as well." Her voice was trembling even while she was trying her hardest to stay strong.

"When is the trial?"

"In a month," she admitted, and then asked, "How exactly can you help me from losing everything I worked for? Emma, if I lose my license a second time, it won't be reinstated. I'll be bankrupt and jobless."

"Everyone has a past," Emma said so confidently it seemed to have sparked a tiny flame of hope in those empty blue eyes. Mal seemed to have lit up, sitting straight up in her seat and looking at her in fascination. "I'm willing to bet Lily's family aren't so innocent. If there is something to find, I promise you, I will find it. I will expose them, and I will win this lawsuit for you."