HAYMITCH
If at one point I had a spark of hope that Leila would come out of this dark place she was, I was wrong. I knew she was making a great effort but it hurt me to see her crying all the time. At least now she was agreeing to eat something, even though it always seemed like she was being tortured with every spoonful she put in her mouth.
Aurelius had repeated to me the same words as Grace "be patient", he was pleasantly surprised with Leila's progress. She had agreed to his therapy sessions, I knew it was going to be a slow process and the doc would have to earn her trust. But at least I was relieved that for now, she would be able to stay in the hospital, in the same condition as before and without extra medication.
Now that she was conscious I spent all day and night with her. I took advantage of the moments when Johanna came, to go to my room, take a shower and change my clothes and go back to her again. At night, to the annoyance of some nurses, I would go to bed with her and cuddle her in my arms. I would stroke her hair until I put her to sleep. Which wasn't much, Leila was suffering from my same sickness, insomnia. Aurelius suggested continuing to medicate her at night but I knew it didn't do much good, her body had a high tolerance to sedatives. This did not surprise me, Johanna had explained to me that in order to stop her that day in the dining hall, the soldier had to inject her twice, and even then, it took time for it to take effect.
I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I woke up disoriented and without Leila in the room. I felt my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I jumped up to look for her. I went into the bathroom and she wasn't there. Where could she have gone? If I alerted the nurses, this would reach the wrong ears and get her in trouble. I left the room to look for her, maybe she had gone to Johanna's room. On my way there, I saw her. I could breathe easy. She was standing in front of a room staring through the little window in the door.
As I approached I realized who the room was. Bob Brightlock. "Are you okay?" her tear-filled gaze wouldn't take off from the quietly sleeping image of that guy "You see, Leila. He's fine. I think I heard he's even going to be discharged in a few days."
"I have to apologize to him. He must hate me" He has always hated you, I wanted to reply.
"You don't have to, Leila"
"Tom hates me and he's my dad, the only family I have left" I bit my tongue to keep from contradicting her. I hadn't had a chance to tell Leila the truth, I wasn't sure how she would react and I didn't want to cause her any more pain, especially knowing the old man was dead.
"I know. Maybe you should give it time, how about you talk it over with Aurelius? I bet he'll know best how to make amends" I was counting on the shrink being able to make Leila see that she didn't owe that monster anything. "Let's go back to the room, try to get some rest" After a few more minutes, she agreed to go back. What was left of the night Leila cried her heart out. It was unfair that she suffered this way and that asshole could sleep so peacefully.
In the morning she finally managed to fall asleep, as soon as I saw Johanna at the door I got up as slowly as I could so as not to wake her. "Rough night?"
"went to her father's room"
"to finish what she started?" she said laughing. I just stared at her in exasperation "okay, so what did she go to? don't tell me she went to apologize or something?" I nodded.
"I convinced her to talk to the shrink about it, at least she gave up the idea of going for now."
"Speaking of the shrink" she pointed with her head "here he comes".
"Good morning" he greets us.
"you're wasting your time, doc. She's sleeping"
"Johanna!" I said irritated
"She didn't get any sleep tonight?" he asked me, ignoring Johanna.
"hardly any" I sighed "last night she went to see her father" he raised his eyebrows in surprise " she didn't talk to him" I said before he jumped to conclusions "but she wanted to apologize"
"I see. You shouldn't have let her go though" I sighed in defeat.
"she ran away when I got distracted for a moment" I admitted in embarrassment.
"Well that doesn't matter. It was bound to happen sooner or later anyway" Johanna played it down.
"She can't be unsupervised. These are not only medical instructions, but also from Command, for safety reasons." I understood what the doctor was saying, if Leila broke the rules, she was going straight to prison.
"But look who's here...I came to give a message and I bump into the sun of this district" said a burly soldier whose name I couldn't remember.
"ha ha ha . Woodstock now is not the time" replied Johanna but he just laughed.
"Abernathy, President Coin, Heavensbee and company require your presence in command after lunch. I was also asked to deliver this to you again, with the instruction that you carry it with you at all times. End of message" he handed me the communicuff. Great, this was all I needed now!
"I guess the vacation is over" Johanna said wryly.
"Doc, Boggs was looking for you too and I don't know what for" shrugged the soldier.
"Thanks Chase, I'll be over as soon as I'm done here."
"How is she?" I wanted to reply that it was 'none of his business' but Johanna beat me to the punch.
"getting better."
"Is she going to be discharged soon?"
"no, it's not for the best yet," Aurelius answered politely.
"because being locked up here is the best thing, right?" scoffed Johanna.
"Johanna..."
"come on, even before all this happened she hated this place, how is she going to get better being in this prison, doing nothing, just being alone with her thoughts, we have to occupy her with something" I felt a pang of guilt with Johanna, I knew she was right in a certain way but deep down that was more her wish than Leila's. Since we had rescued her, all this time she was still a resident at the hospital, that must have been driving her crazy.
"I understand how you feel, Johanna," the shrink said slowly, he too had come to the same conclusion.
"I'm not talking about me!" she said annoyed.
He sighed "I understand, but back to the safety issue, she can't be unsupervised."
"I'll go with her," we said at the same time.
"no, you guys don't have the training to react if necessary, I understand that you want to..."
"I can do it" Chase interjected
"Chase, not now, we are talking about something serious" Johanna replied irritated.
"I'm serious"
"Chase, you are under orders from your command" Aurelius reminded him.
"Not at the moment. Since I've been discharged, I haven't been cleared to return to my squad yet, it's doctor's orders. I don't mind being Leila's guardian, at least I'll be doing something more productive than sending messages back and forth. With any luck I'll see more action with her" he said laughing at the end. I wanted to smack him for that last one, but it wasn't a bad idea that Leila might occasionally get out of here. Besides, Chase was no stranger to her.
"In consideration that my patient for now is resting, I'll go meet with Boggs, if he authorizes leaving you temporarily as Leila's bodyguard, I'll give my okay for her outings. She will follow the same strict regimen as Peeta, you all understand that, don't you? "We nodded. That meant that outside of this room, Chase would have to shadow Leila and she would always have to be handcuffed.
I left the two of them talking outside and went back to Leila. She was still asleep. I didn't want to risk waking her up, so I stayed in the chair next to her bed. I thought back to what happened tonight, and it came to my mind, that conversation Peeta had with Leila. 'My sister was the only one who really loved me and that, maybe because she didn't know any better' I didn't believe that was true. If I had understood the relationship between the two correctly according to her own words, and what Plutarch had said, Leila wasn't only her protector, I could bet she was like a second mother to the little girl.
I was sure those words were just projecting the true feelings she had for her 'father'. She, in a way, was forced to love him, as he was the only person who cared for her in her time of need; Of course, he was doing it because he was making sure her investment didn't die, not because he truly cared about Leila.
"Haymitch?" whispered Leila pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"I've been thinking...you've been here the whole time, where's Peeta, and Katniss? Why aren't you with them?" Those questions took me by surprise. Guiltily I thought she was right, I had neglected Peeta and Katniss. Of course I asked about them every time the doctor, Finnick and Johanna came, but Katniss, I hadn't seen her since the attack and Peeta, I only saw when he passed by this room. "You shouldn't stay here all the time. Peeta was sad the last time we talked, don't leave him alone." She was right, but I wasn't sure if there was a hidden intention to ask me to leave.
"Don't worry about them. Katniss for now is safe here in the district, she hasn't been sent back to any other district since the bombings and Peeta, from what Aurelius told me, since the wedding was cancelled, has been concentrating on his paintings."
"What bombings? Why was the wedding called off? Was it because of what I did to Finnick?" tears filled her eyes.
"No, no, no, no, Leila. It had nothing to do with you. It was because of the bombings. It wasn't logical to celebrate anything when in other districts people were dying."
"I have to apologize to him, too. If Mags were alive she would hate me for what I did to him" she sobbed.
"You didn't do anything irreparable to him. Maybe you don't remember but he was here, he was worried about you, just like Annie. Johanna told you the truth when she asked you to forget the whole thing, no one blames you. You know, even that soldier..."
"Chase."
"Yeah, him. The doc is considering letting you out and Chase offered to be your bodyguard, he seemed pretty concerned about you too and not upset"
"I stabbed him several times"
"Well I saw him pretty good today. No one is going to reproach you for anything; how many times did you defend Peeta for the same thing...you see...it's almost the same, you acted that way because you weren't being yourself, but those of us who know you know you are kind and incapable of hurting someone" she sighed and lowered her gaze, some tears rolled down her cheeks again.
"when Johanna comes, you should go see them" I guess Leila was seeing through my fears.
"I will."
Johanna was not long in coming back. I went straight to my room, took a shower and changed my clothes. When I was ready I noticed that it was already noon, which meant that maybe Katniss and Peeta were in the dining hall. When I arrived I found it curious that Peeta was sitting at a separate table. Katniss was sharing a table with Finnick and Annie.
"Why aren't you with the others?" I sat down next to him.
"It's not your problem," he replied irritated.
"you're wrong, you are my problem," I replied in kind.
"shouldn't you be in the hospital?" he scoffed.
"What's wrong, Peeta? Why are you so angry?"
"I don't know, Haymitch. Maybe because my asshole mentor decided to betray me by abandoning me in Snow's hands to be tortured. Does that sound like a good motive to you?"
"An excellent one. Come on get up and join me with the others" I ordered him, ignoring his hurtful comment.
"I'm not supposed to, I'm a danger," he whispered.
"Come on, I'll deal with the consequences" I took his tray and mine. We went straight to the other table and sat in our usual places. As was usual for Katniss, she tensed from head to toe with the boy's presence.
"It's good to see you, Haymitch," said Finnick.
"How is she?" asked Annie.
"The usual" I shrugged, I didn't want to go into details.
"I heard you've been on vacation, sweetheart. Anything new happen?"
"I doubt I have anything new to tell that you don't already know. After all, my opinion doesn't count" wow where was that coming from?
"Could you be more explicit?" I said intrigued.
"They wouldn't let me go to the damaged districts. They have me hiding in this district, while people are dying out there. I know you gave the order" This was not the encounter I was expecting from Katniss. But hey, being her, this was like a warm hug.
"First of all sweetheart, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not the boss of this place. Second, you're wrong, I didn't know you wanted to go on a suicide mission again and third, even though it wasn't my decision, I agree to keep you locked up here, it's for your safety."
"And I'm safe here?" she said angrily looking at Peeta. I was grateful that the latter kept his gaze glued to his plate. Sometimes this girl could be a complete asshole. I saw the look of tension on Katniss' face again, I immediately turned to look at Peeta but it was the whispering of people that told me to look in another direction.
Johanna was coming along with Leila. Johanna had dared to bring Leila into the dining hall. Of all the first outings she could have thought of, she had decided to bring her here. I looked around quickly expecting to see terrified looks but was met with worried and pitying looks. I doubted she noticed, she was coming on Johanna's heels with her head down, next to her was soldier Chase.
I took a quick glance towards our table to see the reaction of the others, Annie with a shy smile, Finnick surprised, Katniss tense and distrustful and Peeta indifferent to everything. Johanna and Chase sat on Leila's flanks, thus leaving her in the middle of both of them.
"Woodstock, you're supposed to be on guard duty!" one of Peeta's guards reprimanded him.
"what? I have to eat too" he shrugged "don't worry I trust you guys to watch my back" he said laughing.
"so, what's up?" greeted Johanna.
"It's nice to see you here, Leila," said Annie.
"Thank you" she whispered, barely looking up from her plate and staring at Finnick "I'm so sorry Finnick, I never meant to hurt..."
"It was nothing Leila, don't even think about it"
"I already told you, stop apologizing. By now everyone is used to someone losing their temper. I'm even betting who's going to be next" Johanna said laughing mischievously.
"I can join you in that bet," the soldier played along.
"you're unbearable," said Finnick, barely hiding his amusement. "Who do you have in mind?"
"Well, Mellark already had his turn, so I'm betting on the mockingjay," she laughed. I looked over at Katniss, she was scowling, gulping down her plate. I could bet she was trying to ignore Johanna.
"nah! that already happened"
"what? when?" asked Johanna. I didn't remember Katniss hurting anyone.
"Rumor has it that he attacked Abernathy when they pulled them out of the arena" Johanna gave us both a quick glance in surprise "and the second time, she had a panic attack just before they decided to rescue you guys. Odair too from what I heard."
"No secrets in 13 apparently" I said irritated.
"Nah! since you guys got here, there's finally something new going on here" shrugged guilelessly Chase.
"Wait a minute. While we were being tortured you two were just whining like babies...weaklings!" Annie covered her ears upset at the word 'torture'.
"Excuse me for caring!" Finnick sarcastically replied, hugging Annie, "it's all right my love" he said in her ear.
"you embarrass me, Odair."
"So who's left?"
"You and Abernathy," Chase said, bursting out laughing. I noticed how Leila shuddered with a disturbed expression.
"It will have to end the world for me to fall," Johanna said, "I'll have my eyes on you, Haymitch," she laughed. I rolled my eyes, how childish she was sometimes. I turned my full attention to Leila, who was looking at her tray confused. Her gaze shifted to everyone else's trays. Yep, she had noticed. Some of the cutlery was no longer allowed since the incident.
"There are only spoons," she said softly.
"They've taken away the knives and forks. They're afraid someone else will lose their head, but the naive don't know that with spoons you can also gouge out eyes" Annie gave another muffled gasp of horror. We all, or almost all of us, gawked at her. Peeta was still indifferent and Leila, I couldn't figure out her expression, amusement or disgust?
"Johanna! Could you please control what you say" Finnick scolded her.
"No. I told you, it's part of my therapy. Anyway, I bet she knows how to do it, right Leila?" she poked her with her arm. To our surprise Leila half smiled at Johanna's comment.
"no, I don't know," she replied softly.
"I'm getting more and more disappointed in your lack of training."
"hmp" still that fleeting spark of amusement was on her face. Finally she began to eat.
"although I wouldn't mind cutting off the hands of the person in charge of this disgusting thing" said Johanna playing with the porridge on her plate "at least the meat isn't too bad"
"You're welcome. Katniss and I hunted down a couple of wolves this morning" said Finnick, proud of himself.
"How I wish I could get my hands on something, if only the shrink would let me."
"You can get your hands on me anytime you want" Chase snapped back at her. She just snorted in exasperation
"No luck there, uh Woodstock?" laughed Finnick.
"Not...yet."
"Or never" Johanna replied. Leila had barely eaten the porridge when she pushed her tray away "You're not going to eat anymore?" She denied
"Well, if you don't mind," Chase drew her tray to himself.
"Leave her food alone! You haven't even touched the meat, try to eat more."
"I can't. I'm sorry" she looked at Finnick and Katniss "the taste is too strong"
"It's okay. I'm not going to say it's my favorite, what I wouldn't give for a good fish".
"How about some bread?" asked Johanna, she nodded and before she could say anything else, 6 different hands were outstretched giving her our portion of bread. Her eyes watered and tears were streaming down her face. "It's okay, Leila. Don't cry" Johanna said almost in whispers. "I think we'd better go back. Wrap them up and bring them in, Chase" I immediately got up to follow them but the damn communicuff started beeping. Command. The soldier finished wrapping the loaves and followed them towards the exit.
Normally what they were doing was illegal, but whoever was guarding the door just looked the other way and let them pass with the food. Internally I thanked him for the gesture.
I went straight to command. I couldn't guess what was the important matter for which I was needed. Before I got to headquarters, Plutarch was waiting for me.
"I have to assume the call didn't come from the president" I snorted.
"You are correct. It's good to see you again, Haymitch."
"to the point, Heavensbee"
"The capitol bought themselves some time with the bombings but now that we've gotten control of the situation again, we're going to start reorganizing for the attack. can we still count on you?"
"What are you asking me?"
"count on my good ally," he said simply.
"I am?"
"you're smart, you look further than what they want to show you. I value that, especially in these difficult times. You're still in the plan to bring a better future to Panem?"
"and all those compliments are not free. Let me guess, maybe you want me to convince someone to lie for you?"
He laughed softly "don't take it personally, but that's impossible. Maybe she has feelings for you, but her loyalty and trust...I doubt it. Anyway it's not necessary, the accusations that were made about me in that dining hall are false and she wouldn't lie to get revenge" I was annoyed at how confidently he spoke about Leila, he didn't know her.
"Maybe she will change her mind. I remind you that you failed her."
"I will not apologize for what I did or witnessed in the past. It has all been worth it to get to this point, even if some should suffer along the way. We are about to take power away from Snow and bring democracy to this country."
"Go fuck yourself, Plutarch! She was just a kid and you could have helped her" I hissed.
"By the time I met her it was too late and remember, I tried, but she refused."
"You tried to use her as a spy, that wasn't helping her. Not only that, you lied to her about her sister and now she's dead"
"No! That was a promise I intended to keep. Believe it or not, I was going to get the little girl out of that district, but I had to do it at the right time or I might arouse Snow's distrust" he ran a hand across his forehead and sighed in frustration "I can't believe she was in district 8 all this time. I always imagined her mother would have managed to escape to somewhere like the forest or district 6, I don't know. I still don't understand how she managed to hide in her own district" On that last one I agreed with him. The Brighlock family was not well liked in their district, so who would risk protecting two such wanted targets? The only person who could have done it was the old man, but why didn't he tell me?
"Whatever, the damage is already done" I turned to leave but he stopped me.
"I called you also because I thought you might want to know that there is going to be a trial against me and..."
"I already know that. Boggs came to pick her up that day at the hospital. Have they already set a new date?"
"I don't know exactly yet but it will be in the next few days" I nodded "that's not all Haymitch. She's not only as a witness, but also as a defendant" I knew that too. I clenched my fists in anger, that was unfair "a few days ago the testimonies of the victims have started to be collected, there are still some missing, like Johanna, Katniss, Finnick, Annie, and Peeta" I let out a relieved sigh, those testimonies would be in Leila's favor.
"Good, they will be in her favor" he nodded in agreement. "But that's not what you wanted to tell me, is it?"
"Today Leila's father and brother testified. Of course they asked for the highest punishment for her" I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. The highest punishment was death "I thought it would be best if you warned her and didn't take her by surprise when they called her"
"where does the president's scales tip?"
"hard to say. As the events are in the public domain, her hands are tied, a jury will observe the hearing and a decision will be made based on the evidence collected and the jury's opinion" I understood Plutarch's message perfectly, the president would have to follow the jury's decision. I didn't want to think about what decision she would have made if the events had not happened in a public place. Now I had one more concern, who would be the jury and what would happen to Leila?
As soon as the conversation with Plutarch was over, I went back to her room immediately. Johanna was there hugging her lying on her bed. Leila was still crying, the bread was untouched on her table. How could I tell her about her father's accusation? I didn't want to see her suffer anymore and I knew this would cause her even more pain.
Hours passed and Leila was still crying silently. When dinner time came, I told Johanna to go eat and rest, I would stay with Leila. I managed to get her to eat a little more than at lunch. Not long after, I lay down next to her, stroking her hair until she finally fell asleep. Maybe tomorrow I could tell her everything that awaited her at the trial, maybe tomorrow would be a better day.
Late in the morning my communicuff began to ring. Command again. I had Johanna called to accompany Leila and went straight there. I expected it to be a quick meeting. To my surprise this was not a meeting like the others, it was a jury call.
Exactly one hour passed until all the people who had been summoned arrived, among them, Katniss, Finnick, 6 soldiers, and 6 people I didn't know. To my great frustration Johanna was part of the committee. "Leila, who is she with?"
"With Katniss' mom. Why did they choose us?" the same question I was asking myself, this didn't make sense.
"Because the laws of the 13th mandate that the victims of an attack be part of the decision procession" explained a soldier behind us.
"Leila's dad and her brother are coming too?" asked Finnick.
"no" answered Boggs entering the room "they have a counter accusation against them, so their testimonies were taken but exempted from the final decision".
"What about Annie and Peeta?" I asked.
"They were not directly attacked by the defendant."
"and Abernathy?" asked Johanna.
"By internal request, he is an observer, his opinion has no value and he will be asked to refrain from making any comments or he will be removed from the courtroom, understood?" he spoke loud and clear for all of us to hear. I nodded. This had to be Plutarch's doing! I didn't know whether to be grateful or worried.
"Chase is missing" said Johanna
"his testimony has been taken and by internal request he has also been excluded from jury duty."
"why…?" Boggs didn't let Johanna continue.
"We followed Boggs into a small room where there were two rows of tiered chairs, opposite was a glass wall facing another room, which indicated to me that we could see but people could not see and hear us. The other room was equipped with three seats and in front of it another one farther away from the desk and next to it another seat. I sat in the front row next to Johanna, Katniss and Finnick sat in the corner of the second row. Boggs left our room and entered the room where the trial would take place.
"The next hearing will be debating the guilt of the defendants, Leila Brightlock and Plutarch Heavensbee. The jury for this case is composed of: 9 victims, 3 eyewitnesses and 3 truth tellers. In the next few hours you will be shown all the testimonies of the direct victims of the attack perpetrated by Ms. Leila Brightlock and 10 eyewitnesses to the events. You are requested to remain silent during the course of this process, until the moment of deliberation. You will be provided with notebooks in which to make notes. At the end of this first part of the hearing, the defendant's testimony will be heard. After this, you will have 20 minutes to deliberate. The majority vote will be adopted as the final decision." A cold chill ran down my back.
"Katniss, Finnick and I are going to vote for her. According to Chase the soldiers weren't that upset with her, so they'll be on our side" Johanna whispered to me.
"but you can't be sure of that" I replied "when did you give your testimony?"
"Very early this morning, that's why I didn't come. The others were also summoned early" I sighed in frustration. I didn't think this would happen so fast, I had trusted Plutarch's words. Fuck! I hadn't had time to warn Leila at all.
The next few hours passed torturously slowly. Most of the testimonies were factually similar, I was reassured to feel the tense atmosphere when they played Bob and Tom's testimonies, the displeasure in the room was unanimous. Those two vermin just said horrible things about Leila, and both called for the death penalty for her. Fucking assholes! However, all the tension vanished as soon as Chase's testimony was shown. It was a complete mess and ludicrous, for heaven's sake! the excuses he made up to justify his injuries were not credible at all. How was it possible for a soldier to be such a lousy liar? I only heard the chuckles of those present, and it was not for less, at least the testimonies of Johanna and Finnick, although they excused Leila, were more credible.
Katniss' testimony was short and vague, she only talked about how Peeta threw himself on her, the intervention of his guards and that from then on she only kept her sister by her side. The final testimony was Plutarch's; short and concise, he denied the accusations against him, stated his version of events and remarked that his relationship with Leila was strictly professional.
After a 15-minute break, President Coin, Plutarch, Boggs and Dr. Aurelius entered the hearing room. The first three, as I had guessed, sat together behind the desk, the shrink in the side chair, and I assumed the empty seat would be for Leila. Only a few minutes later she walked in handcuffed and followed by Chase. I felt my whole body tense up, I didn't know where this hearing would go.
"Ms. Brighlock, please take a seat" Coin instructed her. "do you know why you have been called?"
She nodded "for attempting to murder several people" Leia said in a monotone voice looking down at her lap.
"Of course, but that is a matter we will resolve later. Now the reason that concerns us, are the accusations made by your father against Plutarch Heavensbee. Such accusations are very serious, a crime such as sexual exploitation, especially towards a minor, carries the death penalty. District 13 takes these accusations very seriously."
Leila raised her head and looked directly at Plutarch "I have heard that prison here is horrible, it must have been very hard for you to be there, Mr. Heavensbee"
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat "I have not been to prison, Leila"
"I guess then the 13th doesn't take accusations so seriously and already has a verdict" she smiled ironically. I heard Johanna's restrained laughter next to me, but this wasn't funny at all, Leila could get in even more serious trouble for what she just said. Even her bodyguard looked nervous.
"Are you confirming your father's accusations, Miss Brighlock?" asked Coin coldly.
"no, Mr. Heavensbee is not guilty of that. Although he is guilty of being an accessory to worse. But who isn't here? If justice were truly served we should all go to the gallows, including you Mrs. Coin" a spark of anger fleetingly passed over the president's face, I held my breath; Leila was provoking her. Was she looking to get herself killed? I looked quickly at both my sides, expressions of frowns and confusion were on everyone's faces. Johanna's face reflected only pride in what she was seeing.
"That's a serious accusation, girl," Coin replied threateningly with a tense smile.
"President Coin, may I?" interrupted Aurelius, she nodded "I know that being in this position, Leila, must be quite difficult for you. I understand that you want justice for what you have suffered as you also want punishment for what you have done, but you are not going to get it by upsetting those present" bless the shrink who was giving her an out! Leila didn't answer him, just looked back down at her lap with a frown.
"just to be clear, did Mr. Heavensbee sexually exploit you during his time at the capitol or his time in this district?"
"no."
"Well, now as for the attack in the dining hall..."
"I am guilty" Leila interrupted her. I hold my breath
"That will be decided by a jury. Testimony has already been collected from everyone involved. Including the interesting testimony of your new guard" said Coin, throwing a serious look at a blushing Chase, he turned his gaze away looking down at his feet. Another wave of discreet chuckles invaded the room.
"May I be excused then?"
"no" Coin answered her "there is still one matter left, your father and brother raised accusations against you for the attack" Leila's pained expression was Coin's delight. "but in view of the facts, this is your chance to raise charges against them".
Tears fell down her cheeks as she whispered "I have no charges against them".
"goddamnit, Leila" I heard Johanna's frustration. She wasn't the only one, disappointment washed over us all; I could have sworn Boggs cursed under his breath.
"In that case you can take her," said Coin looking at Chase "In an hour you will be informed of the jury's decision." A few minutes later another soldier entered our courtroom to ask the jury to accompany him to another room for deliberation. I stayed in my place, watching what was going on in the courtroom.
Perhaps Leila had not wanted to initiate any action against her family but as soon as she left the room, Boggs took the floor and asked Coin to bring charges against the two of them, on their own motion. His arguments were that they were two law and order disturbers, that they had launched an accusation against someone in high command and that they could do it again, maintaining order was the priority. She finally agreed and ordered that they be sent immediately to prison; finally, the shrink took the word and asked that the matter be kept secret from Leila, for her mental health.
As soon as I left, I went straight to the hospital. Chase was guarding the door; no one was allowed in until the decision was made. I cursed under my breath! Thirty minutes later the shrink showed up with the jury's decision: guilty as charged. This exempted Leila from going to prison, however they had requested that she be placed under the permanent guardianship of the psychiatrist and under military supervision in public places. I sighed. Maybe it wasn't what I wanted but at least it was better than I expected.
"The decision was fair. Leila would feel worse if she had gotten out of this without any accountability" Aurelius said.
"I know, I just..."
"Ahem" I heard someone's throat clearing behind me. I turned to meet Peeta's serious gaze, his arms were folded across his chest hiding what appeared to be a canvas, though I wasn't sure about that.
"Peeta it's good to see you, is there anything I can help you with?" asked the doc.
"no" he replied dryly. "I've come to see Leila.
"I don't know if this is a good time," I said.
"I don't see why not. We'll be here waiting in case it's necessary" I understood a hint of warning in the doctor's voice. He walked steadily into the room until he reached her bed, we stood slyly in the doorway.
"Leila?" he called to her and she turned in his direction.
"Peeta, hi."
"You look a mess" he said, I looked at the doctor's reaction but he just shrugged. They were both silent for several minutes "you lied".
"I'm sorry?" she whispered
"You told me there were more options" she didn't answer "kill or kill myself".
"don't say that" Again that awkward silence.
"Tell me, after all that has happened, are you what they made you?"
"I would like to believe not" she answered him in a trembling voice.
"I don't think so either" he sighed "here" he handed her what he held in his hands.
"Oh Peeta!" she said in a restrained voice.
"Maybe they don't exist anymore but these are unreachable for him. I hope these will help you remember"
"thank you" Leila told him tearfully "it's like you've seen them yourself. Peeta they are perfect"
"mhh" he shrugged "get better. I'm tired of listening to Sae's complaints, about your absence" he told her in an authoritative tone but I knew that wasn't what he wanted to convey. Without saying anything else or saying goodbye, Peeta left the room along with his guards.
The next few days that passed were even better than the previous ones. Leila would spend her time looking at the yellow flower painting Peeta had given her, or with Johanna walking the halls of 13 and sometimes she would even come to the dining hall for lunch. Finally I was seeing a bit of her old self come back even if her crying fits are still as constant as before.
Today the doctor had suggested she go out and get some sun. These were the last warm days before autumn would arrive. I took advantage of this time to go out as well, Chase was accompanying us like a bustling shadow. I had begun to get to know the soldier, he was friendly, funny though inappropriate, especially around Johanna. Both could be quite annoying.
As soon as we stepped out into the small meadow, in the distance, we saw Peeta. Leila without hesitation went straight to him, I stayed in my place giving them privacy. Chase followed her, and plopped down in the grass next to their feet, to the disapproving gaze of his colleagues. I smiled. Perhaps one of the things I liked most about the guy is that he doesn't act like a guard and gives her her space.
"the air is starting to cool" I hear Katniss's voice.
"Are you coming to get a tan, sweetheart?"
"no, I'm going hunting," she tells me angrily, looking in the direction of Peeta and Leila. "they both seem to be doing great"
"they look like it. Are you going alone?"
"no, I'm waiting for Finnick, isn't she too old for him" I bite my cheeks to keep from bursting out laughing. I could put Katniss out of her misery and tell her there was nothing romantic there or I could play along and maybe that would make her fight for Peeta and not against him. To be an adult or not to be an adult? what the hell!
"I don't think so. She's barely 25 or 26. Wasn't your dad a couple of years older than your mom?" I saw her face turn red. The girl on fire, she was literally on fire with jealousy.
"It's not the same."
"I didn't know you were so damn judgmental. From where I see it, they make a cute couple."
"Enjoying the little sunshine we have left?" asked Finnick behind us, before I could answer him, a laugh distracted me. I knew that laugh all too well. Leila. They both started walking in our direction, Peeta was shaking something off his face. yuck, it was bird shit.
"A shitty day, Peeta?" scoffed Finnick. Leila let out another amused giggle
"Looks like it."
"Come Peeta, I'll help you clean yourself" she said, taking him by the hand.
"Isn't he big enough to clean himself?" replied Katniss dismissively. Peeta looked at her with a frown and Leila's smile was immediately erased.
"What's it matter to you?" retorted Leila. If looks could kill, those two would be peppering each other.
"I think we should go, Katniss. Maybe if we come back early I can take advantage of some of this sunshine with Annie" Finnick nervously interjected.
"If you don't want to come, stay Finnick!" Katniss replied angrily, walking away from us. Finnick gave me a 'what the fuck was that look!' I just shrugged, maybe it was a little bit my fault. He trotted off to catch up with Katniss and I followed Peeta and Leila. I didn't understand why Katniss was so angry, since the last time she talked to Peeta all she had done was ignore him.
After that last meeting, the mutual visits between Peeta and Leila increased. When I was present he would just ignore me or throw sour comments at me, to which Leila would always defend me or change the subject. The positive thing about these last few days was that I noticed that Peeta wasn't as angry with me as before, sometimes he would even initiate conversations with me, of course he wasn't exactly the same boy I once knew but I was hopeful that in time the real Peeta would come back.
A couple of weeks later the psychiatrist, under a lot of pressure from Johanna, authorized Leila to leave the hospital. With her consent, Leila would come back to stay with me. It was strange to return to the room we once shared. I tried to keep it as tidy as she used to but as soon as we entered the room, Leila didn't seem to care at all, she just sat on the bed and stared at a fixed point.
Even more Aurelius' words echoed in my head. Leila was not extremely organized without reason, the doctor was right, it was in these little things that she could have control in her world full of chaos, the room, her clothes and mine, her hair, her way of eating and to see her now like this untidy without caring about anything was just another reflection that she had lost all control over herself, and it hurt to see her like that.