Well, I got back home from my cruise at 4am Atlantic Time (I think that's what it's called. It's an hour ahead of EST, so... The cruise was fun. The traveling was God awful! Okay, so let's see (no idea why I'm telling y'all this, but whatever lol).

We left March 14th. There was a possible direct flight to where we needed to go, but they couldn't get us in, so we had to do the original plan. So, my lovely is visually impaired, so she needs assistance. Alright, so everything's cool in back home, but not in stupid Newark. They didn't read the ticket right, so we were taken to another area (so that means we had to go through stupid checking all over again.) & the woman helping kept bitching, looking at her phone, & making a fucking visually impaired person leave the train/bus thing (that shuttle shit at the airport). Umm what? She also took us to the wrong part of the airport after we got back to the terminal & just left because her "shift was done" instead of making sure we had help. I asked front desk, but it took them forever to find someone. I had to run around to find help. They only half assed when they did. I'm leaving out a lot, but basically, I ended up just doing it myself. Apparently, no one understands that not all help involves a wheelchair. She just needs guidance on where to go, not help walking. I suppose they think because I'm there I know? Umm no? I don't live in New Jersey. Barely ever been. Okay, so we finally get to Boston, but as usual, no one fucking understands the whole "needing assistance without a wheelchair" thing, but it wasn't too bad.

We don't have to wait long for Pippa's mom to get us. We have an hour(?) drive to New Hampshire, & my dumbass didn't count for me getting car sick (I have HORRIBLE motion sickness, ironically, it really only happens in cars-or guess I should say more jerky, stop, go, slam on brakes, killing me kinda motion.) So, yeah got sick in the car (thankfully not all over it because I would've died in a hole & given up on my existence.) Then the next day, we drove to umm St. Louise, Misouri, dropped the car off there, flew to NYC then to Fort Launderale, FL. Spent the night in a hotel, then pretty sure the next morning (kinda mid-ish because there was some weird shit with the ticket info saying we could get there around 7am EST, but not boarding until 12pm, so I don't know, don't remember.)

The ship was giant! We took the Eurodam through some of the Caribeans! Two days at sea, then stopped by a few islands. I swam by a waterfall, got on a few mini boats, got my 1st massage (it was supposed to have been an arm/hand one, but ended up a full body one. It kinda made me slightly uncomfortable because not the biggest fan of physical touch.). Rode an old train, spent time in a thermal pool, ate a ton of noms fuds (delicious food lol), had a private canaba, got "pampered" by our waitress from the previous night as our butler, Ah yes, & had a major ass panic attack. (It was a 2-in-1 kinda thing.) So the last stop had no where for the ship to dock, so they took this smallerish boat, but that fucker was moving so much. I was freaked out so badly! I don't like when things move when I get on/off them. That's why I have this huge phobia of escalators. (Yeah, I've gotten on them before, but it takes me forever to work up the courage to do so.) Oh we also took lots of pics, including professional ones.

So the trip back was just one day at sea. Kinda had a bit of trouble due to our giant photo book, but the real trouble started getting from FL to Detroit (another stupid connecting flight.) because of this storm that we weren't allowed to fly through, so we got delayed 3 hours! which, made us miss our second flight. So we had to stay in a hotel in Detroit all day because the closest flight was at 9:30pm! (just like the one we missed) & we got separated since they booked our new seats on the new flight & can't change 1st class (I've never flown 1st class until this trip. I ain't that special lol.) But thankfully, a woman let us switch. (We had to switch ourselves around too because they put me in the very front seat where you can't have bags & I'm a type 1 diabetic so I have to have food & meds on me. The FL flight I had a low blood sugar because I took insulin when I asked about dinner. Had snacks & Coke, but guess that wasn't enough.)

Anyway, so we eventually made it back to Pippa's mom's house at like 1-2am EST then the next day we left to drive back to Halifax at 4:30pm. Customs was super nice! We did have to come in because of this note on my file. Long story short, I fucked up in 2018, & that caused issues so I always get "pulled over", but since I'm doing so well & almost done w/PR stuff (just waiting now.) then the woman said she'd get my flag removed.

So not even 5 mins after we left, we hit this TERRIBLE snow storm! I thought we were gonna fucking died yáll! OMGSH! I prayed soooo hard! And it worked because we're all safe & we didn't have to drive in it too much. Due to the storm, we got back home at 4am.

Oh, but the best part. On the last day of the cruise. I GOT MY WORKER'S PERMIT! So I can FINALLY work in Canada & stay! (Pretty sure it's 2 years & if everything goes well, should get my PR before that time is up.) Just gotta wait for the official one so I can get my SIN & I can apply for medical insurance. YOY!

Lots of stress, anxiety, panic, sickness, stupidity, laughs, happiness, experiences, & fun! I went to a lot of places I've never been to: New York, Masuchettes, New Hampshire, Misouri, Florida, the Caribeans, Michigan, New Brunswick. The trip was a ride. I enjoyed it, but I'm happy to be home.

(Sorry for my terrible spelling lol)

Oh yes, I got hit on & offered a job on my 1st ever black sand beach lol.

Do have news about story, but will save it for end notes :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: NaruOro, canon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter Fifty-one: Hallow

Naruto

I sit in a chair in the mental health medical meeting room with Shikamaru, Granny Tsunade, Sakura, Shizune, Kabuto, and Ino as a shadow clone while my real self talks to Kakashi-sensei with Obito and Old Man Sakumo.

The room is set up like the medical meeting room we're usually in if we're hurt. It feels strange being in this section, but the possibility of Oreo having a mental disability is extremely high.

"What did you find, Ino?" Shizune asks.

"I'm not sure how to describe it. He had normal barriers, but when I got further in, there was a large door with things I couldn't read on it and a lock and chain. The door changed shape into some sort of monster with blood falling out of its "mouth". When I tried touching the door, it went from hot to cold between touches. I also heard a chaos of strange voices."

"Did you hear what any of these voices said?" Shikamaru asks.

"A bit. I heard it say "chosen one" and "don't let them die"."

"I see. So whatever is behind that barrier may be the cause of what's going on."

"I agree. It would make sense considering the door has so many defenses."

"Then we need a way to break down the door?" I ask.

"It would help, but from what I saw, I think that these "reapers" Orochimaru keeps seeing aren't actually a part of whatever is being kept behind that door. I mean I heard them at the door after all.'

"So a defense mechanism of some kind," Sakura says.

Granny Tsunade nods. "It would be the most logical conclusion. We need to break down his defenses, but not in a way to harm him."

"Hey, Ino?" I ask, looking at Sakura's best friend.

"Yeah? What is it, Naruto?"

"Is it possible I could enter Oreo's mind with your jutsu?"

"It's possible, but it could be dangerous."

"That's fine. I just want to help Oreo."

"It'll be better with your real self too," she says.

"Gotcha. My real self is still talking to Kakashi-sensei."

"For now, why don't you catch us up on what you've found out from your real self, Naruto?" Shikamaru suggests.

Boruto

I can't believe Dad wouldn't let me in to talk to Old Man Kakashi about Mama. I mean, I can help him since I can go into the afterlife and prove that there are no reapers!

Well, at least I can see my brothers. Mitsuki first. I know he's been worried sick about me and Maruta. I can feel his emotions after all since we're twins and all.

It doesn't take long to find Mitsuki and Iruka-sensei. They're sitting on the last bench before you leave the village.

"Boruto!" my twin exclaims, beaming at me as I enter their view.

"Boruto? When did you get back? Where were you? Do your parents know you're back? Were you injured?" Iruka-sensei asks, getting in my face, staring at me intently.

I back up. "Umm, Iruka-sensei, do you mind? You're freaking me out."

He stands up straight, laughing nervously. "Oh. Sorry about that. It's just you've been gone so long. There have been several teams out searching for you, so…"

"Yeah, I ran into Dad and Aunt Hinata when I came back."

"I was going to search for you, but Dad wanted me to keep an eye on Maruta."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah. Sarada even got his rat for him, so he's been sleeping for a day now."

I sigh in relief. "Dad said he's been hanging around Sarada."

"Well, they're best friends, so it's only natural. As for me, I've been spending time with Jugo."

"Why? Not that I mind, of course."

Mitsuki shrugs. "I like him."

Fair enough I suppose. It's just like my twin to give vague answers.

"Boruto, you still haven't told us anything," Iruka-sensei says.

"Oh right. Well, you see, I was in the afterlife."

They stare at me.

"What? What did I say?"

"Does Mama know?" Mitsuki asks.

I shake my head. "No, only you two and Old Man Kakashi know aside from Dad and Aunt Hinata. Oh, and the two who brought me back here."

"And who brought you back?" Iruka-sensei asks.

"Old Man Obito and Old Man Sakumo."

"Who are they?" Mitsuki asks.

Iruka-sensei stares at me in disbelief. I guess I can't blame him. It's not everyday a living person can visit the afterlife. Usually, it's the other way around.

"So Obito used Kamui to bring you here?"

I nod.

"I suppose I'll have to tell you two about Obito Uchiha and Sakumo Hakate. I can't say I know everything, but…"

Orochimaru

I slowly open my eyes to see my children-all three of them-at my bedside.

"B-Boruto, you're back," I whisper, licking Kit's mini.

They were supposed to tell me! I look over at Kit's shadow clone sleeping. Anko is here too. "Babysitting me".

"Mama!" he protests, giggling.

I continue licking his face. I'm too happy to even care that I'm too weak to move. "Come here, all of you."

My sons get in bed with me, cuddling under the covers. We lie in content.

"How are you feeling, Mama?" Boruto asks.

"Exhausted, and you? You weren't hurt, were you?"

"Of course not! I am your son after all."

I laugh. It hurts my head, but it's a good kind of hurt."

"Aunt Sakura said they're having to run another big test on you?" Maruta asks.

I nod. "Your father will be joining in that one. It seems there is a large barricade in my mind."

Naruto and I discussed it. He said it's what's needed to see what I see and to help me. But I…

"Do you think that could be why you attacked-"

Boruto covers Mitsuki's mouth.

"Guys, it's okay. Mama didn't mean it."

I look away in shame and pull my boys closer.

"Your mother would never do anything to hurt either of you on purpose. Trust me, if he wanted to hurt you, he could and would without resulting in such lame tactics," Anko says from her chair on the other side of the room, snacking on dango.

"Yeah, that's true," Mitsuki says.

"Did you get me a burger, Aunt Anko?"

My old student pulls the dango stick out of her mouth and tosses it in the trashcan, landing in it perfectly. "Who do I look like to you, your Mama? If I'm getting you three maggots any food then have your Mom pay up."

Boruto looks at me. "Mom, can we have some burgers?"

I chuckle. "Sure. Anko, you know where my checkbook is get the kids and yourself something too."

"You want anything, Sensei?" she asks, getting up and walking over to the closet where my things are. After a bit, she pulls out my checkbook, flipping through it. "Holy shit, Sensei! You're loaded!"

"I wanna see!" Boruto exclaims, jumping up and running over to Anko. She shows him and he gasps. "Mama! We could afford a snake mansion with all those zeros!"

"Anko, that's my savings," I deadpan with a smirk.

"Oh! Well, that makes more sense!"

Boruto pulls out a different book. "This one it, Mama?"

I nod.

He flips through it. "Still lots of zeros, but not as much."

"I always put half of my money in my savings," I explain. "And when you three start work-whether you're a ninja-" I say looking at the twins "or not," I look at my oldest, "it's very important to save money. You never know what can happen."

"Yes, Mama."

"Two burgers a piece, large fries, soda, and a milkshake!" Boruto cheers.

"What did your mom just get through saying, little maggot?" Anko smirks, pinching his cheeks.

"Hey! Well, he said to save my money. He didn't say anything about his! Besides, I've been gone, so I need a treat!"

Anko rolls her eyes. "You'll get what I bring back. Orochimaru-sensei, I'm leaving a shadow clone and Yarumi here," she says, making one and summoning her favourite small snake from her sleeve.

"You want me to watch Lord Orochimaru?" Yarumi asks, slithering up Boruto's leg.

"Hey, Yarumi! What's up, girl?"

"Hello."

"Yes. Make sure he behaves."

"Will do."

She leaves and her shadow clone sits in the chair. Boruto returns to the bed. Yarumi coils in my hair.

"Mama?"

"Hmm?"

"What kind of snake is Yarumi?"

"She's a scarlet kingsnake."

"I am much king!"

The four of us burst into laughter. It's truly nice having my children back with me again. Still… there are a lot of questions I have for Boruto. Where was he? And how did he get back?

And Maruta… is he afraid of me? Does he see me differently? I want us to be close like we once were, but I feel like I ruin that. How could I have hurt him like that? Even Nagi and Sabiniji were exhausted of chakra. Why do I have to be so…?

"It's because no one believes you. They can't see what you see, after all."

I close my eyes, tears falling. Maybe Naruto and Ino can find the truth. They'll see how I can see those reapers, and we can take measures to defeat them together.

I feel a soft, wet and warm tongue on my face. I open my eyes to see Maruta-my only child with my tongue-licking my face.

I lick him back. This bond. The bond I have with my sons and my husband, I don't want it to end. I won't let it! I don't care what tests I have to undergo! Each tests gets closer to the truth!

Naruto

After talking with Kakashi-sensei, he, Obito, Old Man Sakumo, and I go into the Mental Ward Meeting Room where the others who have been helping to figure out what's wrong with Oreo are waiting.

"Obito?" Sakura gasps.

"Hey, Sakura," he says, waving a bit.

"Hey, you two look a lot alike," Ino says, looking at Old Man Sakumo and Kakashi-sensei closely, squinting her eyes.

"Well, he is my son," Old Man Sakumo chuckles. "May we sit?"

"Father, I'm Hokage now, of course we can sit," Kakashi-sensei says, doing so.

"Always acting so superior," Obito scoffs, sitting between Kakashi-sensei and Sakura.

Old Man Sakumo sits beside his son and I sit beside Sakura.

One of the food delivers brings out snacks and drinks to all of us.

"Alright! Thanks!"

She smiles, bowing and leaving.

"I think we should catch each other up on what we've found out and what we plan on doing," Granny Tsunade says.

"I agree. How about you start, Sakura?" Kakashi-sensei suggests.

"Well, alright. We had Ino go into Orochimaru's mind, but there's an extra difficult barricade that could be related to these "reapers". We think it could be a defense mechanism to some type of trauma."

"And it's highly possible that whatever this trauma is even Lord Orochimaru doesn't know, or at the very least, can't remember it," Kabuto says, pushing up his glasses.

"Because of what happened the other day when I was practically thrown out of his mind?" Ino asks.

"What happened?" Obito asks.

"I was near the barricade, and when I heard these voices and tried to infuse my chakra into the door, Sakura told me to get out. Orochimaru had to be sedated too."

"He had an attack, didn't he?" I ask.

"Yeah, but no one was hurt since we made precautions."

"So what needs to happen is to open that barricade without having Orochimaru flip out," Obito says.

"Yes, and that's why Naruto's shadow clone asked if he could join Ino when she traverses Orochimaru's mind again. We're hoping familiar chakra will ease his mind so he won't flip out and try to push them out or worse," Shikamaru says.

"That makes sense. And I assume you're making the preparations?" Kakashi-sensei asks.

"Naturally, Lord Sixth," Ino smiles.

"What about what you guys found out? And how are you two even here?" Sakura asks, looking at Obito and Old Man Sakumo.

"Kamui," Obito shrugs.

"How…?"

"It's a space-time ninjutsu, so that must mean the afterlife is considered an alternate dimension," Shikamaru says.

"And it's space-time ninjutsu," Sakura says.

"Yes. Although, it's very different as I'm sure you surmised. Getting here took quite a bit of preparation even though I have infinite chakra being a dead bitch."

"And Boruto was in the afterlife?" Shizune asks.

"Oink!" Tonton oinks.

I gulp down my soda, burping loudly.

"Naruto! Say "excuse me"!" Sakura growls, raising her fist to punch me.

"S-sorry!" I squeak.

"Now, now, Sakura, we can't injure Naruto. I need him for the next test," Ino laughs.

"Oh, alright, but slow down on your sodas. It's bad to drink them so fast," Sakura says, relaxing.

"Anyway, I can't say how or why Boruto came to the afterlife, but my suggestion is to do some more testing on that right eye of his. He'll need to learn how to control it. It was a freak accident and lucky that he ended up where he did," Obito says.

"I agree," Kakashi-sensei says. "Father did tell us something interesting that could possibly explain some things about Orochimaru."

"Do tell, Lord Sixth," Shizune says, her pig oinking in agreement.

"It's a long story, but to put it shortly: I have reason to believe that Orochimaru is one of the dragon summoners from long ago."

The ones who didn't hear the story stare at each other then at Old Man Sakumo then at each other and back.

"Right, well, let me explain," he says, telling the story about the dragon clan and Noble Summoning Clans to the others."

"That's interesting…"

"But if the elliptical pupils are what identifies these dragon summoners, then does that mean Maruta is one too?" Shikamaru asks.

"It's possible, but we don't know for sure if Orochimaru is one or not. There may be some hidden memories stored he isn't even aware of," Old Man Sakumo says.

"So the barricade may, in fact, be protection put on him by himself or someone who knew his secret to protect it and him?" Sakura says.

"I think so."

"What about the reapers?" I ask.

"Well, that's why we're going into his mind, right Naruto?" Ino smiles.

A day or so later, all the preparations are ready so I can enter Oreo's mind with Ino. Oreo is strapped to a chair in a special room where Ino can use her clan's abilities to their full effect.

Everyone who's been involved in this is on standby. Some in and some out of the room. Obito and Old Man Sakumo are outside of it since they would unintentionally flare up Oreo's defenses about "reapers". We're hoping that breaking that barricade in his mind and explaining about the dragon clan will help him see the truth.

"Hey, Oreo, how are you feeling?" I ask.

Oreo looks up at me. "Naruto."

I squeeze his hand. "I'm here. We all are."

Oreo nods.

He looks so exhausted. I hate how I have to put so much pressure on him, but the truth must be found.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips. "Never forget that. No matter what we find, I'll always love you."

Oreo squeezes my hand, and kisses me back. Our kiss is short and sweet, but full of love like any other.

"Alright, Naruto, are you ready?" Ino asks.

I nod, stroking my wife/husband's face one last time before going over to Ino.

"It feels strange being in someone's mind," I say as Ino and I "swim" in Oreo's mind.

"Yeah, but it's certainly useful," she says.

"Oh yeah."

We go through the barriers she's already broken with ease. What seems like forever and a day, we reach the barrier she had told us about. Already I can hear strange mutterings and sense something weird.

I focus on the door, using sage mode. "It's the door itself."

"Hmm?"

"It's where the voices are coming from and I can sense something sinister about it."

"Oh," she says, looking at the creepy door. "So we need to tear down that door, right?"

I move closer to the door.

"Hey, Naruto, don't-!"

I touch the door and yelp as it burns my hand.

Ino sighs, putting her hands on her hips. "I told you to wait."

"Right, sorry," I chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

She shakes her head. "Okay, so we both can hear these creatures, but Orochimaru hears and even sees them outside of his mind, or I suppose it's more accurate to say he thinks he can."

I nod, staring at the door. It's certainly strange. "You said the door changed before?"

"Yeah, I think this is the calm mode. When it changed, it dripped blood from a mouth and Orochimaru started freaking out."

"I see," I say, touching the door again.

"Hey, didn't-"

"It's okay, Ino. Just put your hand on top of mine. I''m going to see where the source of this is coming from. I think that may be why we can't open the door."

"It's not hot or cold?" she asks, putting her hand on top of mine.

I shake my head. "Doesn't seem like it."

She touches the door with the back of her other hand. "Yeah, it feels normal. Strange. I guess I should have just brought you along to begin with."

"Well, I am Oreo's husband after all," I grin.

She chuckles. "Fair enough."

"Oreo, it's me. I know this is a lot, but just bear with me and Ino, okay? We won't hurt you, so please open yourself up to us. Let me see all of you."

The door shakes, cracking slowly.

"Is that a good sign, Ino?" I ask worryingly.

"Well, we want the door to break, no? Still, we should be on guard. This door is weird after all."

"True," I say, focusing on soothing Oreo with my chakra and being cautious of the weirdo door.

The crack spreads into multiple, smaller ones. The door grows cold. I hiss, but keep my hand on it. I refuse to let this door win! Ino and I gasp as it turns from a regular door into a freaky monster. Blood drips from not only its mouth but the cracks as well.

"Naruto…"

"Just stay close, Ino. We're going to get through this door! We're going to save Oreo!"

"Yes, I know, but look above us," she says, pointing up.

I look up to see weird creatures hanging on the ceiling. Some poke their way out of Oreo's mind. Others kick and punch it. There are so many! What are those things?!

"Are those the reapers that Orochimaru keeps talking about?"

"Yeah, maybe, but why are they in his mind? And why does he think they're outside of it?"

Ino stares intently at the creatures. Despite us being in here, they're not bothering us at all. They talk amongst themselves and to Oreo.

The door monster snarls and attacks the reapers with a wind-style jutsu, who scurry off. It calms, returning to a regular door.

"So the door thinks those things are a threat, not us," Ino says.

"Seems so."

"Hey, do you see that?" Ino asks, pointing.

The reapers are gone, for now, but Oreo's mind is "blinking" in various spots.

"What could that mean?" I wonder.

Ino stares for a while then moves up to the closest "blinking" spot.

"Ino?"

"Stay at the door. We have to get it opened no matter what. I think this could be the cause of those reapers appearing."

"Alright."

I watch her, keeping my hand on the door. What did she find? What am I missing? Why is Oreo's brain "blinking"? What are those creatures?

She closes her eyes, concentrating. What seems like forever, her eyes fly open. "There's no way!" she gasps, backing up, horrified.

"What? What is Ino? What did you find out?!"

She looks down at me with tears running down her face. "We need to get out of here right now. Orochimaru needs medication if we're going to enter any more in his mind."

"But we're so close! Oreo trusts me, and-"

Ino shakes her head. "He does now, but remember you've already broken it by making him come here in the first place and not believing him about those things, yet claiming you did."

"I… but isn't that why we're doing this? To prove those "reapers" aren't real and death isn't evil?"

"Well, that would work in theory, except not in Orochimaru's condition," Ino says as she moves down to "stand" beside me.

"What do you mean, Ino?"

She closes her eyes. "The reapers, the belief that the afterlife is evil, the belief that he's this immortal saviour, and this snake god, it's all in his head. They're hallucinations. Not to mention when people don't believe him, he gets defensive and uncontrollable. Delusions to reality." Ino's eyes meet mine. "Orochimaru has schizophrenia."

I have been dying to reveal this twist for so long! I'm not saying I'm an expert, & I am taken liberties, but I do know a bit about it because I've studied psychology for years (& want to get back into it for schooling at some point.) Y'all will see how everything plays out. I have no idea why I said this story was almost done. I mean it's not like it's 50 more chapters, but it's definitely not 5 either lol.

Okay, so I'm currently working on 55. I do have some real life stuff to deal with (like my stupid US taxes. Which... you know what, let's just stop there lol.)

Sorry about all the ranting!

Preview

Orochimaru

"How did you escape?" I ask.

"I can go between space-times because of Kamui. Boruto ended up in the afterlife because of what you did," Obito snaps.

I glare at him.

"Glare all you want, but the fact of the matters is Sakumo and I live in the afterlife, and we can tell you without fail this delusion you have about death is nothing more than you being insane."