Author's Notes: Thank you everyone for reviewing! As I've said before, if you want to support my writing you can support me on or check out my books on amazon. Sarah Jaune is my penname.

Thank you to Arnel for beta'ing!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

It was too hot for the end of April. It was all Nat could think as she finished dressing in shorts and a tank top. It felt like it was August in Egypt rather than England! Thankfully, it wasn't supposed to last, but it was currently making her miserable. The only decent thing was wizards had magical air conditioning and she wouldn't roast while she was minding Alex for Caroline, who had a class to teach at the cheer gym.

But Alex liked to be out in the backyard, especially with their big dog, Rufus and the new puppy, Daisy. Caroline used to take the dog with her to teach, but she'd started to leave the dogs home with Alex and whomever was minding him. Nat liked the dogs, so she didn't mind, but today she was hoping Alex would only want to be outside for a few minutes before he realized it was too hot.

Sighing, Nat tied her strawberry blonde hair back in a tail and headed for the stairs. Ginny was going to deal with the twins today so Victoire could take Emma to the cheer class. Generally, they switched off who went where every week, so last week Nat had been with Amelia and Olivia who had, unbelievably, slept through the whole time Nat had been there.

"You ready?" Ginny asked as she pulled her own hair back in a short tail. "I heard from Victoire this morning that the girls already took a nap, so I'm not in for as easy of a day as you had last week."

Nat smiled and shook her head. "I did want to play with them, but I can't say I minded having over an hour to read. With Alex it's always exactly the same thing every time. He naps from ten to eleven and then from three to four. Honestly, if he didn't look exactly like James, I'd have thought he was Al's kid. Neither James nor Caroline is that regimented."

"I think this just means that Al's children are likely to be like James," Ginny laughed, sneaking an arm around Nat's shoulder. She pressed a kiss to Nat's temple. "You'll be in for it."

Nat felt her cheeks flush as she shrugged. She knew Ginny wanted her and Al to get together. She didn't make a secret of it, but she didn't know how to respond to Ginny's comment. "I can't wait to see what Lily's children will be like."

Ginny burst out laughing. "Oh, yes… that will be something."

They parted ways not two minutes later, Nat for Caroline and James' place, and Ginny to Victoire and Teddy's.

"I'm here," Nat called as she dusted the soot from her clothes. She heard the scramble of tiny puppy claws and moments later Daisy was jumping up on Nat's shins. "Down," Nat commanded, holding her hand out to the puppy, who immediately sat. She was a good puppy, but more excitable than Steve had been and she needed a lot more commands to get her to behave.

Moments later Rufus plodded in, make a low noise and the puppy instantly fell flat on her belly, staring up at the big dog who sighed as though he found this whole puppy business a lot of bother. He hadn't been this way with Steve, so Nat imagined that Daisy was just more energy than the dog was used to. But of course it could also be that Daisy wouldn't be suited to becoming a companion dog. Only time would tell.

"I'm here," Caroline said coming from upstairs. She sounded harassed.

"You okay?" Nat called up.

"Alex's diaper exploded everywhere," Caroline called down. "It was all over the crib!"

"Do you want me to clean it?" Nat asked, about to head for the stairs.

"All done," she said as she toted her son down the stairs. She kissed Alex's cheek noisily and the baby giggled furiously.

Nat stared at her friend and a slow smile spread over her cheeks until she was grinning so hard she might burst with it. Was there a bit of longing? Yes. Was there a bit of jealousy? Yeah, just a little. But the joy overshadowed everything.

"What?" Caroline asked, stopped at the end of the couch.

"You're pregnant," Nat squealed as she lunged for Caroline and pulled her into a tight hug.

"What? You're… of course you're sure! Oh wow! My period isn't due for another week!"

They fell together with the baby on the couch, laughing and crying. "I can't believe it," Caroline whispered when they finally fell silent. "I was hoping, but when I didn't get pregnant last month I started to think maybe I wouldn't… but wow. Everything looks good?"

Nat nodded, catching her hand and squeezing. "The baby has a very bright light. I can't promise anything but right now it looks great."

"I can't wait to tell James, I— oh my class!" Caroline kissed Alex one last time, bid him to be good, and then sprinted for the door.

"It's just you and me," Nat told Alex who gave her a grin which contained only his four teeth. "What should we do?" she asked as she set him on the ground. She watched him steady himself, turn to Rufus, who rose and moved to the baby so Alex who grab his hair, and then slowly walk towards the back door and the back garden.

Nat grinned bemusedly and shook her head. She glanced over to see Daisy was still where Rufus had put her after she'd jumped on Nat. "If you can walk like the civilized, you can go outside and run. Don't knock over the baby."

Apparently, don't knock over the baby was a thing Daisy heard often because she slowly rose and moved at a more sedate pace to the door, waiting for Rufus to guide Alex out of the house after Nat opened the door. Once they were clear of the exit, Daisy bounded out and ran to start chasing a squirrel. Oh yes, they were going to have a very fun time training the puppy while Caroline was pregnant, but oh… another baby. She couldn't wait! If she wasn't having her own, she was thankful to have these children to love.

~*~

James' day had been rough. There was no two ways about it. He'd made a major blunder out on the pitch and his coach had already been in a foul mood. He'd taken all of it out on James, which was fair since James had made a stupid, rooky mistake, but then he'd told James he was out for the next game. He'd wanted to protest, but honestly he wasn't going to mind sitting out the game. He'd still have to go, to be there in case he had to be rotated in for an injury but the overreaction said more about his coach than it did about him and his ability.

Still, it rankled to be so easily sidelined when he was one of the better players they had. He wasn't the best, at least not yet, but he was up there in the top three. He knew with a lot of hard training he could get to be their best Chaser, and it was only a matter of time.

"You okay?" Heather, one of his teammates, asked from behind him.

James glanced over at her and shrugged before grabbing the last of his stuff from his locker. "It's fine. I made a mistake, I'm paying the price."

"What he did was unfair," she said grimly. "There was no need to be that harsh."

"It doesn't matter," he promised as he closed his locker and turned. "I'm going to go home, where my son will be ecstatic to see me, my wife will be waiting to hear me complain over it, and then this whole day will be a memory."

She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Right, I keep forgetting you're a dad. You're so young."

"When it's right, it's right," was all James said as he walked away. He tried to be friendly with all his teammates, but he had the distinct impression that Heather had a crush on him and it was making him nervous. He didn't want to have to deal with anything personal on his team, and frankly it was insane for her to even consider something like that. It was against the law and one could not simply mess with a soul bond without serious damage to the soul of the people involved.

Alright, it didn't actually affect person who wasn't married as their soul was not bound to someone else, but it was still an arrestable offense and Heather could be thrown in jail if she tried to push anything. So far she hadn't done more than single him out to talk to him, but it was already making him uncomfortable enough to try to avoid her.

The only positive in the situation was that when he'd told Caroline about it, she hadn't reacted badly. She'd listened to his concerns and then gave him tips on how to avoid the situation and discourage Heather. He'd been trying all of them, but so far she wasn't taking the hint. He'd thought about discussing it with his coach, but since the man was being such a berk, James knew he had to keep it to himself.

Yes, they weren't doing well this season. It was primarily due to injuries on behalf of both of their best Beaters, but it was not the worst season they'd ever had, either. They were slightly ahead of middle of the pack and were likely going to make the playoffs, even if they didn't win the cup. None of their teammates were going to make the national team. Even James knew his chances weren't good this year. He was still growing as a player.

Sighing, wanting to put all of this behind him, he Apparated home and unlocked the door to hear Alex's delighted shriek. "Da!"

And really, there wasn't anything better than that in the whole world. Nothing could compete with being loved so fully and James didn't need to worry about Quidditch just then. He dropped his stuff at the door after kicking it closed and moved to scoop Alex up for a loud kiss. "Oh, I love you," he whispered into his son's neck before he blew a raspberry there so the baby would giggle with delight. "Were you good for Mummy today?"

"He was an angel as always," Caroline said as she came over from the kitchen. Daisy raced ahead of her and plowed into James' legs. If he weren't used to the puppy's rough antics, he'd have been knocked flat on his back.

"Down!" both James and Caroline said and the puppy dropped down to the ground, whimpering.

"I do not think she's going to be a therapy dog," Caroline said with a long sigh as she studied the puppy. "I'm going to write to them and let them know we're making no progress. She'll make a fine pet, but she's simply too excitable to calm someone down who has anxiety."

"I agree," James said, even though he hated to think they weren't going to be able to raise her for the full year. "Still, it's better to get her adopted sooner."

"I can always see if Hagrid is ready for a new dog," Caroline commented as she leaned into him, letting the arm that didn't hold Alex wrap around her waist. James kissed the top of her head and held his family, soaking in the amazing feeling of being home where there was no pressure.

"How was your class?" he asked as he moved them over to sprawl on the couch.

Caroline curled into his side and smiled a smile he didn't exactly know how to interpret. She leaned up and kissed the underside of his chin, even as Alex squirmed to get down. He'd have fallen off the couch if James hadn't caught his shirt and Rufus hadn't been there to body block him from the tumble. He watched the dog carefully snag Alex's shirt and lower him to the carpet so his son could crawl off for his toys. "We really have the best nanny dog out there."

"Yes, we do," she agreed, sneaking her hand up his chest to rub at the stubble on his chin. "Nat came to watch him and she told him something."

"Oh, yeah, what?" he asked, still watching Alex since Daisy was sneaking over to him. He needn't have worried. Rufus grumbled at the puppy and she settled back down to watch, even though he knew she'd be up again in a moment.

"She said I'm pregnant."

It took a long moment for the words to sink in before joy, elation, and a healthy dose of panic filtered through James' chest, but the elation won out and he grinned as he kissed her deeply. "That's…" he tried to speak, but found himself choked up with feeling so much all at once. "Wow." It was all he could say, he kissed her and then pulled her to himself, not sure how his chest was going to contain all of the feelings he had at that moment. "We're going to have two kids. Wait," he hesitated. "She only saw one in there, right?"

"Only one and she said the baby's light looked really bright and strong."

Relief coursed through him as he pulled her in close. He almost, almost, said something about her maybe taking time off from teaching her classes, but he shut his mouth. She needed those classes. They made her happy and kept her from being stuck in the house all the time. They both took a risk when they left the house, but at least if she was poisoned, Nat would know and would heal her. So far the crazy Crabbe woman hadn't been out to kill them directly. It was possible it could happen, but so far she hadn't.

So far…

He made a decent amount of money. He could hire security for her or he could see if Teddy could always be available to take Emma to her classes. Yes, that was a better idea. He'd ask his father to switch Teddy's schedule around so his brother could be there to watch both Caroline and Emma. He'd talk to Teddy, make sure he knew, even though Teddy was already protective of Caroline.

"Are you worrying?"

James let out a small chuckle. "Yes, but no more than usual."

"Teddy is at my classes every week. He's been the one bringing Emma since October."

James craned his neck to study her. "Are you a mind reader, then?"

She laughed and boosted up to kiss him soundly. "No, I just know you and… and I told him it made me feel better that he was there, so he arranged it with your dad."

He kissed her temple. "I'm so… this is good. Alex is going to be a great big brother and you're already a terrific mum."

"I like being a mommy," she said, grinning at her American use of the word. Her face sobered as she studied him. "I didn't know I would since I didn't have good parents, but it's been the best thing. I'm so glad you never gave up on me."

"Never," he promised. "You never gave up on me, either."

"And I never will."

~*~

"Come on," Victoire told Amelia and Olivia as she grabbed at their hands and tried to lead them over to the table for dinner. "Gamma says time for dinner."

June was already upon them and it felt like she was melting from the heat, even though no one else seemed to even notice.

"You okay?" Teddy asked as he came over and scooped up both girls, making them giggle like mad. "You look a little flushed."

"I'm hot," she grumbled as she followed him to the table where Al, Nat, Scorpius, Rose, Andrew, Louis, James, Caroline, Alex, Emma, Arthur, Molly, Harry and Ginny were already sitting. They'd tried to get Teeny to sit at the table but Polly was getting fussier about such things and wouldn't let her daughter join in. It was alright for Teeny to play, but she wasn't allowed to be included in anything else. On top of that, Teeny was almost full grown for a house-elf and while she liked playing with Emma, it was clear she was quickly outgrowing the preschooler's games and was starting to ask for work. It was hard to watch, but Victoire had known it was coming and was trying to let it go. She wasn't going to cry over it. Nope.

Alright, she'd cried a couple of times, but Teeny was Polly's child, not hers.

She'd been out of sorts all week and even though she loved her family, she hadn't really wanted to come for dinner. She knew it was to help Nat feel better, feel less isolated, but all she'd wanted to do was burrow down with a good book in her quiet room. Instead, she was here trying to fight hard against her bad mood.

She saw Teddy incline his head and James and Harry both stood and took a girl from him, settling them down into their high chairs.

"Get started, we'll be back," Teddy said as he pulled Victoire out the back door to the garden. Great, just great, now she'd be extra hot.

Teddy stopped her under the shade of a tree and felt her forehead. "You're not running a fever. What's up with you?"

"I told you, I'm hot," she practically growled as she turned away from him. "Being out here is making it worse so thanks for that."

She felt a cool blanket settle over her and knew he'd done the magic to cool her off. Hunching, she shook her head and refused to look back at him. "Maybe I should just go home. I'm in a rotten mood."

"Hey," he said as he lightly wound his arms around her waist and bent to kiss her neck. "If you want to go home, then go ahead, but I wish you'd tell me what's bothering you. It's not like you to be upset over the heat."

"I don't know what's bothering me!" she cried in exasperation and then truly began to cry.

Teddy gently turned her around and held onto her while she let herself cry quietly.

"Maybe my period is finally going to come back," she muttered.

She felt him nod. "The first one after Emma was difficult."

"Uh…"

Victoire and Teddy both turned to see Nat standing there, looking at them. Her expression was a little pinched.

"We'll be in soon," Teddy promised.

"It's not that," Nat hesitated.

A sick feeling filled Victoire's stomach as she studied Natalie's expression.

Nat held her gaze and Victoire knew… she just knew what she was going to say.

"Your period isn't going to come back…" Nat said somewhat lamely. "Not for another long while. I… I didn't know how to tell you. You were so cranky when you got here."

Victoire closed her eyes and let her head thunk against Teddy's chest.

"You're… you're… oh…" Teddy said quietly as his arms tightened around her. "Well, I guess we probably could have predicted this happening again."

"The baby looks great. It's only one this time. Uh… I'll go back in, now," Nat said awkwardly as she turned and quietly went back in the house.

Victoire held on tighter to her husband and shook her head. They were going to start trying again, maybe in another month or two, assuming she had her period back.

She hadn't had a period since… she didn't know how long. What was nine months before the twins were born, anyway?

"Are you okay?" Teddy asked carefully. "This is what we wanted."

"I am," she said and she was okay. She was just still feeling very out of sorts, even if she was no longer baking in her own skin. "Are you?"

"I'm good," he promised as he pressed his face to the hollow at her neck. "I'm not the one who has to be pregnant."

"You're just the one who has to deal with a pregnant wife and three daughters."

"You know," he said with a small chuckle, "I have to learn to deal with it because when they all hit puberty our house is going to be a real laugh."

Victoire gently swatted him on the shoulder and shook her head. "At least it isn't twins again."

"Agreed."

She let him lead her back into the house a few minutes later and they settled down to eat with everyone else. Teddy brought her a huge glass of ice water, which she really appreciated, while everyone kept shooting her worried looks, even as they ignored her outburst to focus on talks of work and wedding plans.

"So," James said as they finished and before dessert was served. "Caroline and I have an announcement," he said as Ginny started to squeal with delight. His gaze of love was so touching that Victoire felt herself tearing up again as she studied her cousin. He'd really grown into such a fine man and she'd never have predicted he would or could. "We're going to have a baby in January."

Pandemonium filled the room. Teddy shot her a look, but she shook her head. She wanted Caroline to have this all to herself.

But as soon as the celebration died down a little bit, Caroline looked at her, eyebrow raised. Victoire shrugged and Caroline grinned. "Go on, then," she told her.

Since Nat looked like she was about ready to burst, Victoire gave him. "Uh… Nat just came outside and told me I'm pregnant again."

There was a moment of stunned silence and then more shouts and congratulations filled the room.

"You're about two weeks behind Caroline," Nat told them. "Really close."

"They'll be able to go to school together," Caroline grinned as she pulled Victoire into a hug. "I'm so glad."

And, yes, Victoire realized she was, as well. She still had to process it some, but it was good. A new baby was always a good thing.

By the time they made it home, she was ready to drop from exhaustion. It was always this bad in the beginning, only she hadn't known she was six weeks pregnant because she hadn't had a period and hadn't seen Nat in about a month so she'd had no warning there was a baby growing.

"Go on up, get a cold shower, and get into bed," Teddy ordered. "I'll get everyone ready and bring the twins in to nurse when you're ready."

She did just that, letting him get all three girls ready for bed while she cooled off and then dressed in her loosest, coolest nightdress before climbing into the sheets. She was nearly asleep when Teddy came in with all three girls. Olivia came over to nurse immediately, but Amelia took a moment to get settled. Teddy held Emma up so Victoire could give her a kiss goodnight before he carried her to her room for a story and cuddle.

Normally she participated in the nighttime routine more than supplying her breasts, but she really didn't have it in her that night. By the time Teddy was back from getting Emma settled, both toddlers had fallen asleep and Teddy was able to move them into their own room.

He came back and she watched him change for bed. He was in such great shape. He spent a good amount of his time in the field, since he could so easily disguise himself, so he took extra care of his body, getting up early to work out and making sure he stayed fit. Ever since Emma was born, he'd taken to wearing boxers at night, just in case he had to get up with one to the kids, so that was the sight that greeted her as he climbed into bed with his perfect body to cuddle up to her.

Victoire shape was currently a little lumpy and round, jiggling when she walked. A few years before she'd have been so upset by it, she wouldn't have wanted him to see her naked, but since she had a lot of proof that he still wanted her, she'd learned to let it go. She didn't have to understand it for it to be true.

"You okay?" he asked her as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "This is what you wanted, right?"

"I just… for once wanted to plan it out," she said and her statement rang so funny to her she started to giggle and then couldn't stop until she was crying from mirth. "We are ridiculous," she hiccupped as she lay with her head on his chest. "I wanted to have a planned baby and tell you myself when we were both prepared! It's stupid."

"It's not stupid," he assured her as he grinned, pressing his lips to hers. "It's never stupid to want something like that. Maybe we will get that someday, but maybe not. You still don't want me to get that procedure, right?"

She thought about it for a second before shaking her head. Did she know for sure that she wanted him to not be able to give her more kids? No. Four kids was a lot, but she didn't know if she was done yet. She just didn't know. "No, I'm not sure."

"So maybe next time," he told her as he nuzzled in closer, kissing her softly on the cheek before moving to the spot just behind her ear.

Oh, yeah, he wanted her.

"If you're too tired, just say so," he whispered.

If he'd asked her half an hour ago, she would have definitely been too tired, but she felt her love for him flowing through her. "If you do all the work, I think I'm good."

He chuckled then, the feeling rumbling through his chest. "You just want to be worshiped, but I think I can handle that."

"I'm the mother to your four kids," she added with a grin as his mouth moved on her neck. "I have earned it."

~*~

Lena was meeting with Louis and Al was going to spy on them. He'd have felt badly about it if he weren't so worried about Lena. His cousin was a mess, but he was, admittedly, the most handsome of all of them and it wasn't like Lena was exactly resistant to his charms. Added to that, she had an alcoholic father and her own baggage to deal with. So, he took the Invisibility Cloak and made his way into the tea shop where she was meeting him.

If Louis weren't a mess Al would have left it alone. He loved his cousin and Lena was a good friend, but he didn't trust that Louis wasn't going to do something stupid to break Lena's heart. What he'd do if Louis was making a move, he didn't know, but he figured he could think of something. Louis had been sober for months now, thankfully. He was in therapy. He was getting help for all of his issues. But he wasn't there yet.

He'd seen the look on Louis' face when James had told everyone at dinner two nights before that Caroline was pregnant. He looked like he'd been sucker punched and his whole world was upside down now. It didn't make a lot of sense to Al because James already had a kid, but maybe adding in a second made the whole thing so much more real. James was a husband and a father and he'd moved on from whatever it was Louis was right then.

Alright, he was just like Al… single and working. It wasn't that Al didn't want to get married and have kids. It was definitely appealing, although he had vague thoughts about finishing his Auror training first. He still had two years to go for that, or thereabouts. He and Lena were both working extra hours to move through training. They might knock off a few months or maybe up to a year. They had to pass certain exams, and they didn't necessarily have to study for those so much as be involved in the situations which would make it possible for them to pass.

He didn't, however, think sneaking into a Muggle tea shop to spy on his friend and cousin was going to count towards his training. Still, as he'd predicted, Lena was there early with a seat in the corner. He could spot her easily through the glass front of the shop. She'd cleared away tables to give them more space and she had her back to the wall so she could watch the door. Louis appeared at the end of the street and Al watched him as he shuffled towards the door in a very well-made Muggle suit. He had to be roasting hot in the thing, but Louis didn't appear perturbed at all. Al made it through the swinging door with Louis and dogged his steps until his cousin fell into the seat across from Lena, dropping his head to the table.

Al stationed himself against the wall where no one was likely to run into them and studied his cousin. Louis looked… outwardly he looked like the kind of bloke any woman would want. In fact, several heads had turned his way when he'd walked in. But his eyes were still haunted. It wasn't like when he'd been drunk. Drunk Louis' eyes were dead. This Louis was feeling things and clearly didn't want to.

"Are the cravings bad?" Lena asked gently.

Louis shook his head and sighed, sitting up a bit. He would have answered but a server came over and asked for their orders. He waited until she'd walked off before he said, "No, there are no cravings. It's all gone. What I'm craving is the oblivion of the drink. I miss feeling numb."

It was what Al had suspected, but still hearing it was hard to take.

Lena nodded in understanding. "Do you want to tell me more about it?"

He shook his head. "I did something pretty unforgivable. I don't want to tell you."

"Louis, I'm not going to stop being your friend," Lena said lightly. "I lived through my father being a mean drunk and I forgave him. You have no idea what he did to me, to my family."

"Tell me," Louis begged quietly.

"This is about you, not me," she reminded him.

"But if you tell me something… maybe… maybe I'll feel like I can tell you."

Al wondered what she was going to say to that, but he waited, still as a statue. He felt bad about spying now. He didn't want Lena to say anything to Louis that she didn't want Al to know.

"He beat me," Lena said finally, meeting Louis' gaze as he stared at her in horror. "He'd beat me, then he'd heal the worst of it, and then he'd do it all over again. Same with my mum and my sisters, but I was the baby so I got the worst of it. They were gone off to school by the time his drinking really picked up and I bore the worst of it."

Louis closed his eyes and to Al's shock he saw a tear slide down his cousin's cheek. "And you forgave him?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I haven't forgotten and I don't exactly trust him, but I forgave him because that's for me, not for him. I don't want to stay angry for the rest of my life. He… he was a few years older than your Uncle Harry, you know. He was Muggleborn and he was hunted by the Death Eaters. He wasn't brilliant at magic or super smart. He'd already fallen in love with my mother and they were married when Voldemort was reborn. My mum was pregnant when the Death Eaters found them. He ran, leaving her behind because she was born to magical parents so he thought they'd leave her alone. Instead, they killed the baby. They just… tore the baby from her. Then they went for him and despite being pretty useless at magic, he killed two on them and managed to get my mum to the hospital where they patched her up. Dumbledore helped them hide, then. He helped them leave England. He was… he was never the same. Neither was my mother, but she handled things in her own way."

The two of them sat there in silence while Al felt like throwing up all over the inside the cloak. He should not have come! He should not be hearing this! He nearly tried to leave, but Louis' words stopped him cold.

"I had sex with a girl who was a prostitute, I mean a girl, not a woman. She was fifteen."

Lena blew out a breath and sat back and, Al noted, she made sure no one was listening to them. Thankfully no one was in the busy, noisy tea shop. "Oh wow. What happened?"

"This guy… he wanted me but I wouldn't just sleep with him because I'm not into blokes, so he hired her for the two of us to share. I'd been sleeping with a lot of prostitutes by then, but he gave us both a lot of alcohol and after a while and… well, let's just say I did things with him I would never have done sober." He stared down at the table. "I didn't tell my sister that part, but I told my therapist." Lena reached over and took his hand, squeezing it hard. He kept on without looking up at her. "When I woke up and realized there was no way she was an adult, I turned myself and him into the police. They didn't do anything to me since I was eighteen, but they arrested him because he was twenty-eight. I made her she was taken care of. I sent her off to a boarding school. I took care of her."

Louis' face was so bleak, so broken, it took everything in Al not to look away. He couldn't believe he'd wanted to spy on them. There was no way Louis was here to try to make some moves on Lena, when it was clear he was struggling just to get through each day.

Now all Al wanted was for this to be over with so that he could leave and forget it ever happened. Louis didn't want him to know, and Al completely understood why. He would have his father wipe his memory if he could without revealing what he knew.

Lena's next words shocked him. "Have you forgiven yourself?"

Louis' eyes went flat. "No, and I don't think I should."

"Do you think the girl is still upset with you?"

He hesitated for a moment before he shook his head. "No, she's thankful for the chance to get out of poverty. She'd told me she expected to be killed by some man before too long. Now she has a chance."

"What can you do to help others like her?"

Confusion clouded his gaze for a moment before it cleared. "You think I can help other girls?"

"Not personally, no. I know you can't afford that, but can you maybe start an organization that pulls girls off the streets and gets them into an education?"

Al really liked her idea, but he didn't know how they'd fund it. They had money, sure, but not that kind of money. That kind of money would be in the millions to really make an impact. Most people couldn't even afford to send one child to a boarding school.

But maybe if Louis could do something, maybe he'd start to forgive himself.

"Listen," Lena began quietly. "I know you blame yourself and you have definitely played a part in this. You did something you should never have done, no question about it. You were also used and abused by a guy a decade older than you and he definitely knew better. He wanted you. He groomed you and he used you. Did you do something wrong? Yes, you did. But you tried to make it right. You've done what you can. Most of the blame rests with the other guy. You have your share, but you do not need to be holding onto blame that isn't yours. Let that go and start to forgive yourself."

"My therapist keeps saying that," Louis admitted as he ducked his head. "He also… he says…"

"What?" she prodded gently. "What else is he saying?"

"That… that what he did to me was kind of like rape."

Al's forced inhale was only masked by Lena's sharp gasp. "Oh. Oh wow."

A silent tear slid down his cousin's cheek. "I just want to forget it all. I want to drink and forget and never remember it."

Now both of her hands were clutching his and she held him even tighter. "Do you agree with what the therapist said?"

Louis shrugged. "I agreed to it at the time, but I didn't want to. I was just so drunk… when it was happening all I wanted was for him to stop. Just stop… but he kept… I don't want to go into the details but I mean, I could have hurt him. I could have stopped him."

"Is that what you'd say to a girl who was too drunk and having sex with a guy when she just wanted it to stop?" Lena asked him pointedly.

Louis shook his head and then frowned. "No, and that's what my therapist said. But I'm a guy! It's different."

"He was older and he made sure you were too drunk to really fight him," Lena retorted with a shake of her head. "It's exactly what it sounds like and you have to deal with it that way."

"Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't, but you should talk to them about it. You should talk to James! He's going to understand."

Louis gave her a funny look and Al realized the same thing. Lena didn't know about Caroline's past. How would she know James would understand?

Lena sighed. "I went to school with all of you. I know Caroline. I don't know her well, but I know her. I've put the pieces together with how she behaved all those years. No, I'm not asking for any details. They aren't any of my business. You need to talk to him, or talk to Victoire."

"They're both pregnant," Louis told her. "I don't want to do anything to upset them."

"That is bullshit," Lena said with a narrowing of her eyes. "You just don't want to admit it because you're embarrassed."

Al thought for a second Louis was going to stand up and leave, but his cousin simply said, "That's not it."

"You don't want to admit what was done to you."

"Who would?" Louis said with more force. "Do I want James to know I've done that with a guy? No, I don't! It's…" he stopped and then closed his eyes. "Yeah… embarrassing, but more of… why didn't I stop it?"

"You were eighteen."

"I was a man. I was old enough."

"Tell James. Tell him how much it's hurting you. Let him help you."

"He's not going to know what to say."

"I think he might surprise you. He does live with someone who has dealt with this."

"But she's a girl," Louis whispered.

"It doesn't make what was done to you less horrible because you're a bloke," Lena countered as she sat back. "It was still just as horrible."

Louis nodded. "Maybe… maybe I'll go see James."

They stood up and left a moment later, but Al held still against the wall, not able to move yet.

He didn't know if he'd ever be able to move again.