Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 51: Return

--

"Feels weird to be back" Sasuke murmured, staring up at the house as they made their way up to the landing.

Yeah. You're telling me.

Kakashi stepped in front to unlock the door, then pocketed the key. It made sense- Sasuke wouldn't be needing it, and Naruto couldn't leave unless Kakashi stepped in to take his place.

The four stepped inside and made their way down the hall and into the kitchen. Naruto dropped down on a chair at the table, and Sasuke took the one next to him. "I'm assuming a barrier is up?"

Yamato nodded. "Just a precaution." He glanced at the blonde staring listlessly at the table. "We know you wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt Naruto."

Sasuke glared at the man, hating the look that flashed in the blonde's eyes after his offhanded comment. "Naruto is safe with me. I would never do anything to harm him."

Yamato looked doubtful, but seemed to relax when Kakashi stepped in and dropped a hand casually on his shoulder. "We know, Sasuke. After all, you're the one who ran in to rescue him in the first place."

I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this.

Sasuke could hear the blonde's panicky thoughts and quickly interjected for him. "I have no interest in talking about any of that, so let's drop it."

Naruto's eyes shot up, and Sasuke glanced over to meet them.

Kakashi noticed the look as well and took the hint. "Right, well I'll be back in a couple hours to see what kind of supplies you two need. I'll bring some food over for tonight, then I can pick up more stuff tomorrow. Just take a look around and figure out what else you need."

The two nodded.

"Ok. I'll.. see you soon." He reached out and ruffled the blonde mass of hair he'd miss seeing at home and gave the raven a small smile. "Take care of eachother, ok?"

Another nod.

"Alright. Yamato, I think we're good. You can take the restraints off."

The brunette did as he was ordered, then said his own quick goodbye and the two headed out. They could hear the door close and lock, and then everything was silent.

Naruto continued to stare at the table and force back his thoughts. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Things were still awkward between them and now they were trapped in a house together for an indeterminate amount of time. How the hell was he supposed to keep things from him? How was he going to stop things from moving too fast? How was he even going to interact with Sasuke? It has been three years! This wasn't like the few days he spent trapped in his room in Orochimaru's hideout. This was the house they lived in together- where they had grown close, become a couple, where they..

How do I stop that from happening?

What if I don't want to stop it from happening..? he thought, careful to hide his thinking from Sasuke.

Frankly, Naruto didn't know what he wanted. He just knew that he wasn't ready for any of this and now that he was thrown in the middle of it, he wasn't sure how to react. Luckily, Sasuke seemed just as unsure.

"Should we.. look around?" he suggested. "See what we need Kakashi to bring?"

"Sure" Naruto replied, his voice low and flat.

Sasuke got to his feet and held out a hand. Naruto stared at it, like he had no idea what it was for, before finally giving in and offering his own hand in return.

Sasuke grasped it gently and hefted him to his feet before leading the way across the kitchen. "Let's start with the bathroom" he murmured.

Naruto reluctantly followed him and the two rummaged through cabinets on the search for anything they didn't have.

"Toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap." Sasuke turned to the blonde. "Anything else?"

"Deodorant" and cyanide.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Very funny.

They finished exploring the house in less time than expected, and were back to square one. Not sure what else to do, they gravitated into the kitchen and sat down next to each other at the table once more.

Sasuke sighed and dropped his head in his hand, his eyes locked on the blonde. "What is it going take for you to talk to me again?"

Naruto dragged his fingers through his hair, working up the courage, then turned to face him. "What would you like me to say?" he asked coldly.

"Christ- I don't know. Anything! Something!" I'm losing my fucking mind over here.

"I thought you said you'd be satisfied just seeing my face."

The Uchiha paused, tilting his head slightly as he studied him. Naruto watched long raven strands sweep across his face, watched strong pale fingers push them back, revealing the heat in his eyes- a flame that spread through inky black pools and flooded Naruto's chest. He could feel his mouth go dry under that gaze, but couldn't seem to look away.

"I do like seeing it" Sasuke murmured.

He slowly lifted his head and leaned forward.

Naruto's stomach tightened, crushing the butterflies inside. His lips parted, but he didn't know what to say- his mind had gone blank. Sasuke slowly reached out, watching those brilliant blues widen as he tucked a stray blonde lock behind his ear.

Naruto grabbed his wrist, stopping his hand from going anywhere else. "Sasuke.. I can't."

"I know" he murmured. Onyx eyes slipped from those hesitant blues to his extremely tempting mouth. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" he said softly.

"No." Yes.

Which one is it?

Naruto dropped his hand, and his gaze. Both.

--

"Alright children, I'm back." Kakashi slipped in through the open window and stepped over the kitchen sink, smiling behind his mask.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You have a key."

The jonin nodded. "I do."

"But you used the window" Naruto pointed out.

"Very observant, Naruto. I always knew you were smart." He ruffled the blonde's hair only to have his hand slapped away.

"Whatever. We have a list." He handed it over to him and watched him scan through it. "Mmm, seems reasonable." The jonin quirked an eyebrow. "Ahhemm. Naruto you put ramen on here five separate times."

"Very observant, Kakashi. I always knew you were smart."

Kakashi barked a laugh. "Ok, I deserved that." He glanced between the two as he pocketed the list. "So, how's it going in here."

Both boys turned away, avoiding his eyes.

"Ahh.. yeah, I assumed it'd take some time to get used to.. well, this."

Naruto kept his eyes averted, but Sasuke turned back to look at him. "Hey.. can I talk to you for a second?"

The jonin quirked an eyebrow. "I would love nothing more."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and led the way across the room and to the side door so they could step into the courtyard. He could feel Naruto prying but quickly shut him out. They moved to the far side of the clearing where several massive trees stood, scarred from years of target practice but still very much alive.

Kakashi crossed his arms and leaned against one as Sasuke dropped back against another. "If you're here to confess, I'm sorry to tell you I'm already spoken for."

The Uchiha glared at him. "Can you try to be serious for once?"

"I'll try, but I can't make any promises."

Sasuke dragged his fingers through his hair, his eyes on the dirt at his feet. "I.. need some advice."

"Again?"

Sasuke clenched his jaw as he fought to rein in his anger. "Yes, ok. I know I've fucked up a lot with him. I just.. don't know what to do now."

Kakashi rubbed his chin as he eyed the dejected raven. "Well, what have you tried?"

"Apologizing.. but he didn't want to hear it. Talking to him.. but he shuts it down." He glanced up. "He's avoiding me, and I don't know why. He wasn't like this at Orochimaru's hideout. I mean- he didn't want me too close, but he didn't avoid me like this."

Kakashi pondered over it for a moment before replying. "If I had to guess, I'd say there are things he would rather not share about what happened to him. Especially with you."

"Especially me.."

"Well, you blame yourself. And there's a lot of layers to Itachi. Maybe even some that you can't handle seeing."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means I would bet Naruto is trying to protect you from truths you're not ready for.. and maybe ones he doesn't feel comfortable sharing."

"So then.. what am I supposed to do?"

"Sometimes it's easier to open up to someone who lets their guard down first. Try telling him something personal.. something you'd care not to admit out loud. Maybe he'll do the same."

Sasuke shook his head. "Maybe that will work later, but he doesn't even want to be around me right now. He's not going to listen to what I have to say."

"Then start with something familiar. What did you two used to do before?"

Images flashed in his mind before he could stop them- grinning as he crawled onto Naruto's hospital bed, kissing him passionately on the couch, brushing back his hair as he slept, pressing his hand against his chest as he explained how he felt, dragging his tongue up his neck.. hearing him breathe his name..

And Naruto saw all of it.

What the hell, Sasuke?!

I'm sorry.. he thought quietly, hating that it bothered Naruto to see it again. That he seemed so against it when Sasuke was so desperate to have it back.

Kakashi must have seen something in his face, because he added, "maybe focus on something from before the two of you got- ahhemm- close."

A new set of memories rushed through him, and this time he purposely let the blonde see them. Countless times where they sparred and found themselves evenly matched, times where he would tease the blonde when they weren't. Falling in the grass beside him, a smile on his face. Banters that became completely ridiculous because he just wanted to get Naruto to laugh. Making him ramen and watching his eyes fill with a happiness so pure it was almost hard to look at.

He could feel Naruto stiffen at that last memory, and wasn't sure why at first. That is, until he remembered one that Itachi had shown him- where he had done the exact same thing.. and had gotten the same reaction.

His mental walls quickly shot up, keeping Naruto out of his head- hiding the jealousy that suddenly slammed into him. But Kakashi noticed.

"Naruto is allowed to have good moments in his life, Sasuke" the jonin said softly, "even if you're not a part of those."

"I know.." Logically, he did. But it didn't stop the pain that followed, the betrayal he felt when he saw it.

"You two have a lot of time together now. Make some good memories. Some new ones."

Sasuke nodded, but he was only half hearing him. He could still see Naruto's smile in his head, his beautiful genuine smile.

And Itachi smiling back.

--

Done reminiscing? Naruto thought as Sasuke reentered the house.

When you avoid me that's really all I have left.

Naruto looked away. "Yeah.. well, I'm not trying to." It's just hard being here again.. with you.

Sasuke walked up and grasped his hands, trying not to take it personally when he flinched at the sudden contact. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I need to say it."

Super reassuring, he quipped.

Sasuke ignored it- he was well aware that Naruto used humor as a defense mechanism. He always had.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. For what I did to you. Leaving you like that after-"

Naruto turned away, trying not to think about what they did together the night that Sasuke left.

"..after you trusted me. I know I betrayed you, and that I can't take it back, but I will never hurt you again. If you can just give me time, I will prove it to you. Everyday."

He let go of one of his hands and gently cupped the side of his face, pulling him back to meet his eyes. "I never stopped thinking about you, Naru. I know I fucked up, and maybe you don't see it right now, but I do truly love you. That never stopped either."

Sasuke could see the pain in those deep blues, and felt it echo in his chest. "I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry too" Naruto murmured, tears filling his eyes.

Sasuke's brows furrowed. "What are you sorry for?" You have no reason to be.

A single tear slipped down his cheek, confusing the raven even more. "Naruto, what's wrong?"

"I.. I don't think I can keep this from you anymore."

What are you talking about?

Sasuke gently wiped the stray tear away, dark eyes flickering between watery blues, trying to understand. "Talk to me."

It'll be easier if I just show you.

Naruto bit his lip, stopping it from trembling. You might not feel the same way about me after you see it.

Sasuke's eyes widened, but before he could ask anything else-

he showed him.