Yeah, um, so this took a long time.
I spent a week working on another fic, and then another week indulging my short but intense interest for Harry Potter fanfictions, and then I had to organise my semester of exchange in another country and adapt to the life in said other country.
But rest assured, Dive|rgence was never far from my mind.
And actually this chapter and the next one were supposed to be one chapter until three days ago when I realised it had passed the 30K+ words bar but still wasn't finished, and I decided then and there that I was not going to edit this monster all at once, so I stole the kukris in my parents' room and-
I mean, I opened a new doc and cut the monster in two. Not literally, since I kinda need my computer for the papers I have to write (and more importantly to write this fic, because priorities).
Anyway.
So you waited three months even though this chapter has been ready for at least a few weeks.
But on the bright side, unless I realise that I have a paper to hand in that I completely forgot about, you should get another chapter in a week or two.
Hope you'll enjoy this one anyway!
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, so anything that you see in this fic and that you can recognise as belonging to One Piece is not mine. If I did own it, I wouldn't have to write fanfiction. Duh. Also, I don't own the picture.
Part One - Dive|rgence
TWENTY-THREE
Fake it till you make it
Till they believe it
Till you believe it
(till you can't hear the sound of something bleeding and someone breaking)
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
"Really, it's fine. I can sleep on the floor."
"Absolutely not. Take a bed."
"There's no need, I'll be perfectly comfortab-"
"Take. A. Bed." Nami growls insistently.
Robins smiles, and doesn't move an inch.
Sitting snugly in the armchair they bought a few months back, Elynna looks up from her newspaper.
Her eyes bounce between both women as they basically exchange the same argument with slightly different words all over again.
It's a bit like watching one of those tennis matches her grandfather is fond of.
Slightly entertaining, especially in terms of visuals, but mostly pointless as far as she's concerned.
She closes her newspaper with a click of her tongue that draws the attention of the two other women, and stands up to stretch her back.
"Alright," she sighs once she feels her spine crack satisfyingly. "Not that this isn't fun, but let's cut it short. You can both take a bed until we reach an island where we can buy a hammock or something, and in the meantime, I'll sleep with Sea King. He asked me to have a sleepover with him, anyway."
Nami's mouth twists as she weighs the pros and cons of this new situation in her head.
On the one hand, she'll lose her cuddle partner, and she'll be sleeping alone with their new crewmate, who she still doesn't trust or forgive after what she's done to Vivi and her country.
(She trusts Luffy, who looked at her heart instead of her lips when she said everything was a lie,
Trusts Lynna, who saw the lies and perhaps even the chains long before Nami showed them but trusted her anyway, like she has never done for anyone else since then.
But it doesn't really help her forget the way Vivi's heart crumbled all over her face and the way Nico Robin looked down on it all from the top of the stairs with that horrible little smile-
no matter how much it looked like the smile Nami used to wear over her face like foundation over tear tracks.)
On the other hand, being alone in one bed means that she can draw maps without having to go to her desk as long as she has a piece of rigid cardboard to put her maps on, which is the best version of a lie-in if anyone asks her.
And if Elynna goes to Luffy's bed for their sleepover, it means Luffy won't come in her bed.
Which means Nami won't have to put up with how much he moves when he's sleeping.
"Fine by me!" She grins brightly with a clap of her hands.
"Well, if you're sure…" Robin adds, her smile a touch bemused now.
"Don't sweat it. I'll be going, then. 'Night."
The First Mate snatches her pillow under one arm, and with a nonchalant salute, marches out of the door.
"Feel free to hit them!" Nami calls back with a wave.
Robin blinks at the shutting door.
This… isn't how things usually happen.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
"I come bearing a gift." Elynna announces as she walks into the boys' room after being given permission.
"... How is a pillow supposed to be a gift?"
"It's not."
"That's the only thing you brought in." Usopp points out dryly.
"Don't be daft. I'm obviously talking about myself." She replies, absently inspecting what remains of the lollipop she snatched from the kitchen half an hour before, and putting it back into her mouth.
Damn, she missed candy.
"I'll pass." Zoro scoffs.
"Your presence is always a gift, Elynna-chan." Sanji cuts the swordsman off with that smile that has Gentleman Ideal's Poster Child written all over it, as elegant and smooth as the rest of him.
Elynna figures it's worth not riling Zoro up, for once.
The door that was already open slams against the wall, and she braces herself.
"Sleepover! Let's go, Ann!" Luffy screams in delight as he darts in like a missile and jumps on her back to wrap himself around her like some kind of deranged koala.
She hopes she's a nice-looking tree, at least.
If she's a cactus, she's gonna have to throw hands.
"I know where your bed is, Sea King." She comments with a roll of her eyes, reaching out to lower the arm he's waving wildly in the direction of his bed before he can break something or jab a finger into someone's eye.
"Sleepover? Can I join?" Chopper asks as he pads into the room, almost child-like in his hopeful excitement.
Except it's about a hundred times cuter.
"Sure!" Luffy laughs merrily.
"Stop right there." Usopp orders as he rolls out of his hammock to shove a piece of paper in Elynna's face.
She squints, and takes a step back so she can actually read it.
1. I will not strip anywhere else than in the bathroom when it's empty.
2. I will not bring any food into the room.
3. I will not leave heavy books all over the place.
There's a few other items to the list that she skims through to reach the last line.
I, Elynna of the Straw Hats Pirates, hereby solemnly swear to abide by the rules listed above for the duration of my stay in The Great Usopp's abode.
She looks back at Usopp, amusement gurgling through her light and hazy like memories painted in sun rays.
"You make me sound like a nightmare of a roommate."
On one end of the room, Zoro mutters something along the lines of that's because you are one, but fortunately Sanji's hammock was moved to the other side of the room about three days after he joined, so he doesn't hear it.
"I'll have you know that I treat books very nicely. Leaving them 'all over the place' would be a sacrilege-"
Usopp rolls his eyes.
"Just sign it."
"Fine, fine. Do you have a pen, or do I need to get one?"
Usopp brandishes a needle.
Chopper gapes up at it in horror, grasping Elynna's pant leg with an almost-whimper that is echoed by the angry sound coming from Sanji's side.
Luffy stares at the needle, not quite understanding what it has to do with any of this.
"... Are you asking me to sign this with my blood?" Elynna eventually asks.
"Even if your honour ran back to you one day, you would probably throw it out of the window again. It's only fitting."
The stare down lasts barely thirty seconds before Usopp gives up and gives her a red pen instead, felled by the three-to-one ratio of the staring contest.
"Cheater." He mutters.
"Pirate." She corrects.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
The Straw Hats are all sitting on the deck or on chairs for some well-deserved sunbathing when they decide to take advantage of the barely-there wind (and the absence of Marine pursuers) to get a haircut, and things are mostly silent until Chopper points out what they all know but haven't talked about yet.
"Aren't we getting a lot of attention from the Marines?"
Nami's exasperated glare towards her Captain says without her needing to open her mouth that 'a lot' is actually 'too much' as far as she's concerned and that she has no qualms blaming it on Luffy, since he won't care (which means she can yell at him all she wants) and she can't kill the Marines who came up with the cover story about Alabasta or the journalists who spread it, though she did try to threaten a mail bird into taking a strongly-worded-and-possibly-poisoned letter to said journalists until Usopp freed the definitely traumatised bird.
Which might've just been a plot to get a discount on her newspaper.
"It's unavoidable, since we went from one to three members with a bounty." Zoro shrugs, smirking at the envious glare Sanji throws at him.
Usopp, who turned out to be the only one with Robin to have any kind of skill as a hairdresser and was in the process of walking across the deck from Sanji to Nami's sitting spot, lets out a loud cough with a pointed glance at Elynna.
Who kicks him in the shin when he passes her by.
With an outraged squawk, he hops away and towards his new customer, who narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.
"We got a bully as a First Mate. Woe is us." He grumbles as he takes his place behind her to get started on her hair.
He can almost feel her roll her eyes at him, but at least she lets it go.
He has thirty berries riding on the bet that no one will catch onto Elynna's little three-people-for-the-price-of-one trick for at least three months, and he's going to win that bet if it's the last thing he does.
He's been carefully hacking away at the volume of Nami's hair for five good minutes when Elynna's level voice settles in the air.
"I wasn't dead." She says, and even though she's just sitting there, with her back to them, on the chair where Robin cut her hair up to the middle of her back just ten minutes before, her voice sounds suddenly very, very far away.
Usopp winces as he realises that their new crewmate's eyes are shrewdly flicking between all of them in an attempt to decipher that statement, because they haven't exactly filled Robin in on that particular event.
He generally tries to avoid thinking about any of the moments where his First Mate looked alive only in body, period.
(Elynna is constant, steady.
He can count on one hand the number of times she has raised her voice and still have fingers left.
Even in her fear, she is quiet and solid, shaking and frozen in place, and he just knows that now the shaking is half her preparing herself to dive into movement at the drop of a dime.
Even in her anger, she is silent and hard, clinically sifting through the layers of information she knows and deduces to find the one thing that will hurt and that she can reach, directly or not, before she methodically sets about breaking it into pieces.
Elynna isn't as loud or in-you-face or unforgettable as Luffy is. She's not the sun above his head that reminds Usopp to look up when he's being dragged down, that things will be bright and warm and fun again once the storm has passed.
But she's the back leaning against his to cover his weaknesses and look out for him. She's the sea gently rocking the Merry under his feet, always there but never visible in its entirety, deep with secrets and unknowns that he can't see or reach.
So he doesn't want to think about how it feels when her own depths reach up to swallow her whole and leave nothing behind, about how it leaves him scrambling for balance in a crew that is just wrong-)
The silence keeps stretching and stretching, and eventually Usopp puts down his scissors to start massaging Nami's tense shoulders instead.
The navigator's breath whooshes out of her like a silent word of thanks.
"Okay. What happened, then?"
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
Slowly, silently, Elynna pulls as much air as she can in her lungs and wipes her sweaty hands against the slightly rough fabric of her usual jeans.
She gulps, and clenches her jaw against the nausea that squirms in her stomach in response, as it did every time she tried to work up the courage to address this topic in the past few days, only to feel her mouth click shut and swallow the words back down.
She really, really doesn't want to have this conversation.
She's going to have to lie again, because she can't tell them everything, doesn't even know everything.
But she's their friend as much as they are hers, which means it concerns them.
They've been hurt enough, have been considerate enough, and she can see the way they're waiting for at least some semblance of an explanation for her black out in the strain of their expressions in some moments, or the way their gaze lingers on her in others.
They deserve something.
She's sitting with her back to them, no one is close enough to her to hear her breathing, and she angled her chair just right so that no one can see her face. It's not the best, but she can't do any better.
If she doesn't do it now, she'll keep postponing until they force her into it, and when that happens she won't have any control over the circumstances.
"I… don't know, to be honest. I couldn't really feel my body, but I heard… voices. From my family."
She ruthlessly stomps down on the hitched breath of a sob fluttering up her throat from her lungs, and waits.
"... Could it be that this is some kind of ability passed down through your family?" Sanji asks quietly.
"Chloé? Chloé, please, come on, I know you're here-"
She breathes in, sharp enough to tear the memory to pieces.
But it has already done more than enough damage.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
She clenches her teeth together hard enough to hurt, whole body braced against the pain (eyes sealed and lips tight and fists clenched-) as she struggles to wrench the ghost of the voice she wasn't supposed to hear again back down (downdowndown-), down where she can't hear it and it can't make her stupid.
(can't make her any more broken-)
"I don't know."
She forces the words out, quickly, past her throat that is getting too tight to host her words and her breath and everything else that wants to get out.
"I've never heard them talk about anything like this happening to anyone in the family. It's… a possibility, but if that's the case it hasn't happened to enough people for my parents and grandparents to know about it."
"Chloé, darling? Can you hear me? If you can hear me, sweetheart, please- Please just squeeze my hand, okay?"
She closes her eyes again, but when she opens them her vision is still blurry and hot and prickling with almost-tears, so she widens her eyes and forces herself to stop blinking, until she's counted the numbers of stains from one of Luffy and Usopp's food fights near her feet nineteen times over and the crisis has been averted.
Her nose is a bit clogged so she'll have to breathe through her mouth to avoid alerting anyone, but she's not too worried about it. It's not the first time she works herself up to the point of tears over stupid things, and not the first time she uses that particular trick.
(Even though it is the first time her heart has cracked and been wrecked under the stress of it.)
She splays her fingers open when the strength of her grip makes them numb instead of painful, and digs her nails into the clothed skin of her thighs for a better distraction.
If it hurts somewhere, you just have to make something else hurt enough elsewhere to be distracted, and not think about how maybe one day it won't be possible to make 'elsewhere' hurt enough for that.
"I'm sorry I freaked you out."
"Don't be stupid. You didn't know. There's nothing you could've done." Zoro scoffs.
"I only agree with the last two sentences." Sanji informs her primly over a breath of cigarette.
"Anyway." Nami hurriedly goes on, even though for once Elynna wishes a scuffle can break out so she can stuff all of this in the back of her mind and wait until it pops up again (because she's not strong enough, so it always does), in the early hours of the morning, when she's the only thing awake enough to think. "You really have no idea what triggered it?"
So we can avoid whatever it is for the rest of our life goes unsaid.
It makes it easier for Elynna to ignore it.
She wouldn't be able to sincerely promise she would never try to get the same result again.
Because she can't help the foolish, stupid thought that maybe if she gets a little bit stronger, stays a little bit longer, she would be able to touch that hand and squeeze back.
(But does she want to?
Does she want to know for sure that it's real, that she can choose to go back, when she has people she loves and who love her back on both sides, people who will get hurt no matter what she chooses?
-it's so much easier when the choice isn't in her hands, so easy it makes her sick with shame-
Does she want to go back, when she can't be sure that whatever snatched her away won't do it again, can't be sure that there won't be consequences like there is for the body she wears here?
When she can't be sure that who she has become can still be loved on the other side?
When she can't be sure that Ignis -a man she likes for what he is and what he has done for Sea King, a man she can learn to love- isn't going to die and that her Captain's mouth isn't going to tear itself open around his screams as his tears pool into empty hands?)
"I may have… a theory. But no evidence to know whether my intuition is good or not."
The silence that greets her tells her there will be hell to pay if she puts them through this again to test a theory, whether it actually involves dying or not.
She doesn't really care as long as it means that they can stop talking about this.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
Arms crossed and brow furrowed in thought, Luffy stares at the back of the chair his First Mate is sitting in.
There's something in her voice that is this close to being on the tremulous side of tense.
It makes him remember that she had no dream to spontaneously speak of when they left Loguetown, because she didn't plan to leave her home.
(That she didn't get to say goodbye, didn't get to hear the voices of the other people she loves until she left him in that cell.
He remembers how often he can find Ann spending the time in silence, how rarely he has seen her in his or his crewmates' company without her skin being close enough to theirs to feel their heat.
He thinks that love and distance don't suit each other in her heart.)
"Oi, Luffy, I told you to wash your hair!" Usopp groans loudly behind him.
Luffy blinks, and tilts his head back to frown up at his sharpshooter.
"Uh? Isn't it enough with water?"
Usopp throws him a disgusted look.
"I'm not cutting your hair when it's like that. Even if you weren't going to get a haircut, you definitely should have washed them after yesterday."
Nami glances up from where she's lying on the deck and working on a map which she clipped to one of Chopper's clipboards to be sure that it wouldn't fly away, her gently swinging legs freezing in the air.
She fixes them with a suspicious glare that threatens to set them on fire all the way from there, and the look once again reminds Luffy of Dadan when she's about to yell at him and his brothers for getting in trouble.
They even have -almost- the same hair colour.
(He mentioned it to Ann a few days before.
She gave him a look, patted him on the head, and told him to 'never say that where Rain can hear it if you want to live long enough to die in a cool way'.)
"What happened yesterday?" His navigator asks, looking miffed enough to hit them already.
"Crap." Usopp mutters behind him.
"They were hiding under Fang's bed to try and scare him." Elynna tattles on them carelessly.
Luffy notes that her voice is now as placid as usual, and shrugs off the betrayal with a smile.
"We would have if you didn't climb into his bed instead of him!" Usopp yells with a finger pointed at the back of Elynna's chair.
She snorts.
"He would've stabbed first and gone back to sleep without bothering to ask questions."
Zoro looks up from the katana he's cleaning, eyes narrowed into a glare aimed at the exact same spot.
"The hell were you doing in my bed?"
Sanji, whose hair is being cut by Robin, is thankfully distracted from the situation by the older woman.
"I was assessing the quality of your mattress to see if it's better than Sea King's." Elynna answers matter-of-factly.
"I wouldn't let you sleep there anyway." Zoro scoffs.
"I wouldn't ask you to."
"Good-"
"It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, after all." She goes on blandly.
"I'll think about forgiveness after I kill you." Zoro informs her flatly.
Eyes jumping between his two crewmates, Luffy considers getting them to fight, because it's even more fun than to watch them bicker.
(It reminds him of hours spent watching his brothers fight,
a fight where he is almost sure he knows who is going to win, but that almost makes the whole thing worth watching.
Not worth getting up super early to watch, though, so he doesn't get to see it often.)
Then he remembers something with a gasp and jumps to his feet, skidding to a stop in front of Elynna a few seconds later.
She looks up at him, startled only in her eyes, and raises an eyebrow in question.
He crosses his arms and tries to push the lines of his face into something remotely serious.
It feels weird in a funny kind of way, so he ends up grinning instead.
"You promised in Alabasta." He whispers.
Sabo always said that it's incredible how loud he can shout while whispering, but it's not his fault if secret missions are exciting.
She blinks several times in confusion before the dark blue of her eyes goes ah.
"I don't remember promising anything, but sure." She shrugs.
He whoops in delight, and drags her away by her hand as she tells Usopp that he'll be back for his haircut.
Ten minutes later, he's in the girls' bathroom that feels even smaller than his because the old sheep guy put the bathtub he's sitting cross-legged in instead of a shower stall.
The water is warm, Elynna's fingernails are sending shivers down his back as she lathers the shampoo over his hair, and everything feels very, very nice.
"Sea King, are you even trying to stay upright?" Elynna's voice reaches him through the warm fog of drowsiness in his head.
"But Annnnnn…" He whines, flopping back until his head is cushioned by her chest.
She pokes him in the cheek (which is mean, that's his move) and pushes him forward until he's sitting again.
"Nope. You're a vertebrate animal, behave like it."
He whines some more but stays put, and she rewards him with a few more minutes of massage even though the shampoo has been applied on all his hair.
"Did you call Ace yesterday?" He asks at some point.
Her fingers freeze for just a moment.
"Yes." She eventually answers, voice sitting low on the edge of caution.
He smiles, even if she can't see it.
"Thanks." He says.
And he means it, because Ace is his brother.
His brother who is stupid and thinks that he has to always be strong for Luffy to call him brother.
But it gives him strength to have someone trust him, and Luffy has spent too many years watching Ace win and protect him and Sabo without fail to stop trusting him now, anyway.
Still, he saw the strain in his brother's smiles and the shadows under and in his eyes, heard the tightness in his breathing that meant his throat was clogged with more than just air, felt the almost frantic heaviness of Ace's gaze on him when he woke up.
(It was just like it used to be, in the days when Sabo's death was still settling in the silence between them
and Ace's eyes would seek him out upon waking up, as if to make sure that Luffy didn't also leave him during the night.)
So Luffy trusts, but he worries too.
And even if he trusts, even if he knows that his brother's crewmates are there for him, he likes to know that his First Mate has decided to keep herself by his side.
(Because once Ann decides to care, she might make mistakes and misunderstand
but she'll love deep and try hard and stay close, and maybe Ace needs that, too.)
"... You're welcome." She whispers.
He's worth it, he hears, and smiles wider.
"We should go visit your family once I become the King of Pirates. I wanna meet them."
Her fingers freeze again, and slip out of his hair to land limply on his shoulders.
He frowns.
"Ann?"
His attempt to turn around is stopped when her fingers tighten on his shoulders.
Then her arms slide around his chest, and he can feel her wet hair against his jaw and her chin against his collarbone.
The water dripping from her hair is warm, so he can't tell if it's water from the bath or her tears, but all the same he can feel the hitched stutter of her heart against his own through the skin of his back and that of her chest.
She swallows tightly against his shoulder, and he decides that once they get to her island he'll just have to punch whoever is in charge until they provide a Den Den Mushi to her parents so she can call them whenever she wants.
"They would like you only for the first fifteen minutes." She mumbles against his skin.
He pouts.
"Hey!"
This time her chest stutters into his back with laughter instead of longing, and when he shrugs off her hold on him and swivels around to press his legs and feet against her crossed legs, the slight redness around her eyes that is barely visible is the only sign of her tears.
(He hates it.)
He insists on washing her hair too, even if she did it that morning, and she relents easily like she almost always does.
When he's done, she pauses, and then her face falls into something long-suffering and just shy of actual amusement.
"Did you just knot my hair into a gift's bow?"
Luffy laughs.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
The rubber boy bolts out of the bathroom as soon as he's dressed to get his haircut, leaving Elynna to tidy up the place.
His loud Hey, Vivi! catches her attention, and when she comes out she finds Nami lounging on one of the beds with their Den Den Mushi.
"Is that Vivi?"
"Yep!"
"Elynna-san, hello!" The Princess' bubbly voice greets her, followed by her faithful duck. "How was the bath?"
"... Eventful. But that's usually how things turn out when Sea King is involved."
"Well as far as I'm concerned, your private baths ruined my ability to enjoy regular bathtubs. You have to make it up to me, Vivi." Nami complains with a smile that is only half playful.
"The Palace will always be open to you." Vivi laughs. "I'm also in the bath right now, actually."
Elynna pauses next to the door and turns back around.
"... With Karoo?"
Vivi laughs again, not seeming to register the faint disbelief.
"Yes! I was scared of falling into the water back when I couldn't swim, so Karoo came with me, and he never really stopped."
While Nami is cooing over whatever picture her imagination comes up with, Elynna is busy overlapping the image of Vivi and Karoo in her swimming pool-sized bath and that of a kid playing with one of those plastic ducks in a bathtub that she probably saw in some kind of ad.
Well.
The size of the toy has got to fit the size of the bath, she supposes.
Still-
"Rich people…" She mutters under her breath.
"What?" Nami calls out curiously.
"Nothing. I promised Hermes I would help make lunch, I'll see you later. Bye, Vivi."
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
"Say, Elynna… What flavour is it?"
Elynna looks up at the sound of Chopper's shy voice after making sure that she correctly executed the fifth step of the recipe he gave her so they could make a new batch of the syrup that helps Nami sleep.
(She wasn't really surprised, back in Alubarna's Palace, when she woke up to find her roommate huddled so snuggly against her it took her a moment to know which one of them was shaking.
For all their differences, both Rain and Vivi carried their home on their shoulders to save it from a man with a smile like the blade of a guillotine flashing in the sun on the way down and enough plans to kill them with despair ten times over.)
The reindeer's eyes are focused on the white stick of the lollipop poking out from between her lips now that she's on a break and put it back into her mouth, almost hilariously similar to the cigarette Sanji is distractedly gnawing on as he kneads the dough for a pizza on the kitchen counter a few steps away.
"This?" She asks rhetorically, pointing at the piece of candy in her mouth. "It's toffee. Found them in Alubarna."
She tilts her head to the side, watching in amusement as Chopper's transfixed gaze follows the resulting movement of the stick with starry gluttony.
Not that she doesn't get the feeling.
She can't help the chuckle that slips out, and slides the box she left on the kitchen table the last time she opened it towards him.
"Want some?"
The doctor squeaks out a beaming thank you! and opens the box.
He stares down inside it, and then back up at her with a mix of puzzlement and vague worry.
On anyone else, it would look weird, but Chopper makes anything and everything look cute. It's basically a law at this point.
"We left Alubarna six days ago."
She nods absently, not quite sure where he's going with this.
"Give or take a few hours, yeah."
"This is a box sold with twenty units." Chopper goes on without paying much attention to her comment. "There's only two left."
"Precisely. I've been holding back real hard." She replies bluntly.
Chopper gapes at the shameless answer, and turns around to look at Sanji for help, only to find his back trembling with silent laughter.
"Elynna-chan is… very fond of this candy." The cook eventually says when he calms down.
Chopper gapes some more, and then his mouth clicks shut.
"I can see that." He remarks dryly before turning back to his pupil, eyes skimming over his brainstorming notes on how to improve his First Mate's medicine, as she reported that it apparently made her a bit sick during her period. "Have you already eaten these before?"
Elynna blinks, and goes back to her herb-mixing with a shrug, putting her half-eaten lollipop on a plate next to her work station in consideration of Chopper's no eating/drinking during work policy.
"Not these in particular, but one of my grandmothers likes to spoil me and my sister, so she often buys us sweets when my parents aren't here. She bought lollipops like these when I was… twelve, I think? And since my sister doesn't like caramel, I got the whole pack to myself."
She shrugs again, more to distract herself from the empty pressure closing around the airways between her heart and her throat than for anything else.
(not pressing enough to hurt, but enough that she can't escape from the feeling of it
like her grandmother's hugs that held her tight tight tight every time she left even as she squirmed and grumbled with laughter to escape the loud, tickling kisses.
She…
She misses her grandmother.)
"I might've told my grandmother that it was my favourite just for that."
Because letting her sister have everything she wanted when it came to food and games and movies may have been the only thing she did well as a big sister.
And eventually, because Elynna kept telling her nah, you can have it and sure, let's do that and just pick one, I don't have a preference, her sister just… stopped asking one day.
It's normal, and it's not like her answers would change either way.
But it didn't stop the bitter twinge of envy at the back of her throat every time it happened, especially when it was food she liked, or when their tastes were so different that she ended up doing something that she actively disliked.
It was a dissonant note in the middle of her relief at having successfully avoided ruining someone else's mood and the unease that would come with it.
And like any dissonant note, the louder the sound was, the harder it was to ignore it.
(The harder it was to not be ashamed of it and of the lengths she went to in order to hide a ridiculous pack of candy from her sister just in case she suddenly decided to like it, of how fast she ate those lollipops the first time she got them, not just because she liked them, but because she wanted to be able to say no without lying if her sister asked to taste them.
She prides herself on being mature no matter how rarely she feels ready for what it means to be an 'adult', can't help the way her back straightens every time someone comments on her maturity.
That kind of petty envy over petty things like leftover food and group activities that last a few hours at most…
It's not a part of her she wants to listen to, or even hear.)
Her eyes leave the wall she was absently staring at to fall back on her silent crewmates, and she smiles.
"But since I love you guys, I guess you can have some."
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
Chopper stares at the package.
He loves sweets.
He really, really does.
Wanted to taste them even before he ate his Devil Fruit, when he saw a little girl walking in the forest after a picnic with her parents, candy apple in hand and cheeks covered with sticky sugar and a wide smile.
(Or perhaps what he wanted to taste was the feeling of a parent smiling down at him.
It seemed as warm as candy apples, as light and fluffy as candy floss.)
Has loved them since his dad introduced him to them, giving him a different piece of candy for every horrid medicament he had to drink during his recovery.
(Doctorine's teaching method was always to give him curt compliments and long lectures on how to do better.
But there was never a shortage of sweets to pick from on her desk at the end of the day, because he always worked hard.)
So yes, Chopper loves sweets.
But…
He looks at his First Mate, who has gone back to her task without waiting for him to take one of the sweets she likes so much.
He's spent enough time with her to know that she has a good grasp of what is healthy or not when it comes to others, but that where she's concerned she's more likely to downplay everything, conciously, because not many people have it better than me and it could be so much worse.
(like it actually makes things any less painful for her-)
Elynna isn't always nice or kind. It's more fitting to say that she's easy-going because she views conflict as a hassle and giving in less problematic than confrontation, that she prefers to please others over herself, more because she fears their negative opinion of her than because she really wants them to be happy at the cost of her own pleasure.
(and he thinks sometimes that perhaps she needs their positive opinion of her because she can't build enough of it on her own to love herself-)
He's seen it in Alubarna, in the way she let one of the King's dancers take a dish she was reaching for and then later crossed the room to steal some from Sanji and Zoro's plates, in the way she let a servant manhandle her into preparing for said banquet with the same polite smile despite the stiffness of her spine, but gave Usopp and Luffy the cold shoulder for trying to drag her into a game she didn't want to play, at a moment when she was in too bad a mood to give in and join.
It's a testament to how much she loves and trusts Chopper and his crewmates, he has discovered, that she's willing to be vocal about what she wants even when the subject at hand isn't vitally important.
But in the end, she regards them as the main, if not sole element that gives value to her life.
It's not a bad thing in itself to think that life is worth it because of the people that are here to share it with.
But paired with her tendency to shut out any selfish desire no matter how big or small, it could-
Chopper thinks about the story she just told him, and about all the times she lets Luffy have the last plateful of a particular dish or lets a crewmate drag her into an activity that she clearly doesn't particularly care for, caving in after her attempted refusal is ignored once or twice.
He nods to himself decisively, tears a piece of paper from his notebook, and writes For Elynna Only in big and bold on it, underlines it five times with three exclamation marks on each side, and sticks it on the box where the remaining lollipops are with the glue he took with him -in case he needed to stick some loose sheets of notes in his notebook.
Then he slides the box back towards Elynna.
His First Mate stops in the middle of the conversation she was having with Sanji about pizza toppings, and blinks down at it like it's a foreign object she's never seen before.
"You spend more than enough energy during the day with all that training. As a Doctor, I don't see any problem with you keeping those for yourself."
And then Chopper crosses his arms in a way that says you can give it back to me but I won't take any.
He focused more on learning about how to deal with physical health problems, because that's what Doctrine knows best, and it's not like he could get a lot of practice in psychological therapy when he was considered a monster.
But for his crewmates, he will still try his best.
"I agree with Chopper. I'll try to find these or something similar when buying groceries from now on." Sanji nods with a smile.
Elynna blinks, and even if she doesn't smile, there's something in her that relaxes, around her eyes or maybe in the line of her neck, and it almost seems like she does smile.
Then she holds out a hand to pick up her half-finished lollipop, and Chopper's smile turns into a glare.
"Not when you're working!"
She pouts.
"And be careful not to have one in your mouth while you fight, you could choke on it."
She turns to Sanji.
"Any tips, Hermes?"
"I've never had that problem." He smiles contritely.
"Tch. Figures."
Main characters, she drawls in the safety of her own mind.
(The sensation of icy water being poured down on her that usually comes with this reminder is ghostly enough that she can ignore it.)
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
It's the end of the afternoon when Usopp decides to get some coffee in the kitchen. They're approaching a Winter Island, and he can definitely feel it in the air.
He opens the door, still mumbling calculations under his breath about the correct dosage of hot sauce in his new batch of ammunition as he makes a beeline for the coffee pot.
"-s far as we know given the current state of our historical knowledge, the laws concerning throne inheritance in Alabasta were changed about 500 years ago to allow female members of the family to reign. The texts that are available are a bit confusing on that point, but it seems that the decision partly resulted from the recognition of the valuable advice previous Queens imparted to their husband, as well as the development of a cult that celebrated a goddess who originally came from another country, and was associated with regalian functions like justice."
"Hmm… Do you mean justice as in the legal apparatus, or the delimitation of right from wrong and the victory of the former over the latter?"
"More the moral and ethical definition of it, although she quickly became one of the patrons of the judicial system of the country, which was headed by the King at the time."
"There wasn't another god or goddess from the pantheon that could already give the King divine authority on judicial matters?"
"No. Up till a few years before that there was a separation of powers that kept the King away from the judicial sphere, which was mostly occupied by members of a specific community. It seems that a series of scandals ended up with the King changing the system in his favour. Since the main god having to do with justice was strongly associated with that same community, the growing popularity of that goddess was convenient."
"I'd even say suspiciously convenient."
"There are a number of scholars who think like you, and there is a lot of debate about whether the King noticed the arrival of this new cult in his country and took advantage of it -or even organised it- or if the reform happened before the addition of this goddess to the pantheon. But to come back to the topic of women, we also have a sudden upsurge of artistic products depicting women in position of power from that period, so it's possible that with the increasing number of schools being opened at that time, more girls had access to education, were noticed for their talents, and received assistance to exploit their potential."
"Which would have impacted the perception of women's general capability to lead as a whole."
"Exactly."
Pouring the hot coffee in a mug, Usopp shakes his head.
And people call him a nerd.
"Do you have a book on the evolution of Alabasta's pantheon? It sounds pretty interesting."
"I don't have one with me right now, but I know a good compilation of papers on that topic and its links with the way the Alabastan society evolved in relation with its neighbours. It's rather well-known among historians, so we should be able to find it in any big library on the next island."
"Well, at least now I have plans. What were you reading yesterday, by the way?"
"A book called The Most Gruesome and Ridiculous Deaths in History. It's very entertaining."
"... I will definitely have to borrow that when you're done."
"But of course."
"Grea- Hawk, why are you crab walking?"
Usopp freezes, and gulps.
"It's, uh, nothing." He laughs, high-pitched and almost hysterically nervous. "Bye!"
And then he promptly shuffles out of the room and slams the door behind him, bolting even before the sound reaches his ears.
He rockets through the ship until he crashes right into Chopper's office and lunges at him, half of his weight dangerously leaning against the reindeer's spinning chair.
"Chopper. I need you to perform an exorcism."
"Uh?" The doctor frowns confusedly. "But… I'm not an exorcist. And don't you need salt for that? Salt is in the kitch-"
"Whaaaat?" Usopp hisses slowly, leaning in so close his nose pokes Chopper between his eyes. "Don't you dare ask me to go to the kitchen right now."
"Um- alright?" Chopper squeaks, squinting up at the nose. "Who do you want to… exorcise?"
"Robin and Elynna, obviously. They're demons, Chopper, demons!" The sniper almost shrieks as he shakes his crewmate back and forth. "They must be possessed by two demonic sisters! It's just not possible otherwise."
"Well… At least there's only two of them, right?" Chopper smiles hesitantly in an attempt to reassure the sharpshooter.
Who stares at him, and promptly faints, crashing backwards and into the floor.
"Eh?! Usopp?! Are you alright? Hang in there!"
Zoro, who was passing by, rolls his eyes in exasperation, and once again finds himself wondering why he decided to stay around this bunch of buffoons, as he does at least a few times per week.
With an annoyed sigh, he makes his way to the kitchen, entering to find Elynna and the former Baroque Works agent sitting at the table.
"Lynn, hurry up. I need to test a new attack."
"But I'm talking with Robin-san-"
"Shut up and come with me."
Elynna looks back at the older woman.
Who smiles at Zoro.
"Have fun, Miss First Mate. I'll be sure to leave my book on your night desk."
"I'll be sure to use it as reference material for my revenge." Elynna shoots back blandly, flipping her off even as Zoro drags her out by the collar of her shirt.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
"Don't hesitate to tell us if you want to switch and sleep in a bed sometimes." Nami offers with a slight frown, still looking a bit upset over losing the argument on whether Robin should get a bed or a hammock.
"No need. I prefer hammocks when I'm on a ship." The archeologist smiles as she steps forward to pay for her purchase.
Outwardly, Elynna shrugs.
In the privacy of her own mind, if she believed in any kind of deity, she would be thanking them right about now, because between its flashy purple colour and the horrendous yellow doodles of little chicks that are clumsily stitched all over it, the fabric of the hammock Robin picked can't possibly clash more with the rest of her person.
She can already hear the agonising moans of her pride just with the idea of sleeping in that eyesore.
It would be like Naomi or her sister forcing her into Halloween costumes even though she stopped enjoying them at six years old all over again.
(There's something about costumes that makes her want to hide away from the world and the embarassment that comes with it,
as if the claim that things -dreams- most adults consider impossible are real and attainable can only be ridiculous
as if the discrepancy between who you pretend to be and who you are can only be laughable.)
Next to her, Nami huffs in resignation, but her lips are twitching, and Elynna can't say for sure whether it's laughter or horror that is the cause.
"Well. Time to look for some binoculars, then." She decides, switching hands to hold the bag of books they bought at the bookshop.
Robin giggles.
Nami groans, and Elynna finds herself agreeing.
So fine, she used Usopp's binoculars to take a closer look at that Marine officer while she and her sholdiers were enthusiastically trying to gut the Merry when they were leaving Alubarna, and fine, she called Sanji and Nami over to share the binoculars with them, but considering how huge those black spears were, it's not like Usopp needed the tool to see them coming.
Besides, she figured that since none of them could actually deflect the damn things, she might as well have a nice view if she was going to die or be captured.
The sharpshooter didn't quite see it that way, however, and didn't miss an occasion to make his opinion known, so Elynna figured she might as well buy binoculars for herself so that it wouldn't happen again.
"Ugh. But she was hot! And she pulled that red suit off so well, too!" Nami protests, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I know he only has eyes for Kaya, but he can't just deny how much of an eye-candy that Marine was."
"Especially when she stepped on that guy and used him as a throne."
"Exactly!"
Elynna lets the navigator lean her weight against her as a show of compassion.
They walk for a few minutes, listening to Robin's commentary on the historical roots of the market hall they're walking through until they reach a stall that sell what they're looking for, since Nami has decided that Robin would be her guide on future islands when the archeologist mentioned visiting one that used to be a hotspot for a gold rush a few decades ago -though most of it was taken during Roger's era.
"Maybe you should have tried seducing Miss Hina into stopping her attack." Robin suggests amusedly, coming back to their previous topic as Nami takes over the task of inspecting the various types of binoculars on display.
"She didn't look like the type to let herself be seduced into not doing her job. But if I wasn't a pirate, I would definitely approach her. A bit of harmless flirting never hurt anyone, and she didn't look like she often had fun, especially with the weirdos under her command. Sanji would, too." The tangerine-haired girl smiles fondly as she puts one model back down and picks up another. "Even as a pirate, actually. Probably with a bouquet of flowers and a self-made meal."
"He knows how to play to his strengths." Elynna comments idly, perusing the finely decorated compass next to her.
"Maybe, but I'd start with praising her. Marines definitely have a thing for being called a hero, even when they haven't done anything to deserve it," the navigator grins mischievously, before looking at Elynna with an expression that stretches between suspicion and the beginnings of a smile. "What would you do?"
The First Mate doesn't even pretend to hesitate.
"Step on me."
Robin blinks, taken aback.
Nami snorts.
"Of course that would be the first thing you say. Do you realise you'd be ordering someone to treat you like an inferior? That sounds weird."
Elynna frowns for a moment, tilting her head pensively.
"... Please step on me?" She offers, looking perfectly serious except for the slightest twist of her lips.
Robin regains her composure, placid smile sliding back into place like it never left.
The stand owner, who just came into hearing range, spits out his coffee.
"Liar." Nami rebuts immediately. "You're not that shameless in front of strangers."
"'Course not." Elynna admits easily without blinking. "I need to talk to them first to be sure their personality isn't too trashy. And I kinda need a name. So I can tattoo it over my heart and all that."
"You mean scream it in bed." The former pirate thief says bluntly as she pays for her purchase, prompting the owner to frantically put away his money and almost reach across his stand to push them away.
"I was trying to be mindful of the setting."
"Don't bother." The unoffical treasurer of their crew grins as she shows both of her crewmates the bank notes she took out of her purse but conveniently forgot to give to the stallholder. "He was totally ripping people off on the compass." She says in explanation, high-fiving Elynna.
"You two are cute." Robin chuckles softly.
"I know." Nami nods.
"Uh. Never been told that before." Elynna follows up blandly.
"You haven't?" Her bedmate frowns, looking angry on her behalf and ready to throw compliments at her to make up for the perceived slight.
"Never been told that before after having opened my mouth." The darker-haired pirate corrects nonchalantly.
There's a moment of silence, and then Nami punches her in the arm as Robin laughs again.
They stroll about some more and buy a hot drink before they eventually leave the market hall to head back towards the harbour.
"Maybe for once we'll leave before one of the idiots can cause problems!" Nami announces cheerfully as they come within sight of the spot where the Merry is anchored.
"Jinxed it." Elynna replies as she takes a loud sip of her drink.
"Nah, we're not that unluck-"
"Straw Hat Luffy! Stop right here!" A chorus of voices interrupts the navigator.
She turns around, almost robotically slow in an attempt to rein in her mounting temper.
That's when Luffy rushes past her, and waves at her as obnoxiously as possible while calling out her name.
Loudly.
With a growl, she throws her shopping bags back at Sanji, who is just slightly ahead of the Marines, and bolts after her Captain.
Elynna and Robin, who kept walking and turned into the first street available, find a wandering Zoro in the next street they emerge in before they proceed to head towards the ship, all the while discussing their preferred deaths in the book Robin lent Elynna and scaring the shit out of the surrounding civilians in the process, the scary guy holding scary swords and a scary scowl next to them doing absolutely nothing to make them look less dangerous.
Usopp, carrying a giggling Chopper on his shoulders, makes sure to keep at least twenty-seven steps between them and the trio.
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
Elynna knocks on the closed door of the boys' bathroom, slipping inside after Sanji's voice welcomes her in.
"Sorry, I forgot I left my toothbrush here."
"No problem, Elynna-chan."
He turns to the side so she can reach over the sink for the empty pot of jam where all the toothbrushes are, and when she draws back she freezes, breathing in once more before casting a curious glance at the tube of cream in his hand.
"Did you change your aftershave?"
Sanji blinks back at her, taken aback by the sudden comment.
"Oh, yes. I was running out, and the one I used before didn't really work out well in Alabasta's climate, so I figured I might as well try a new one."
"Smells good." She hums.
"I thought so, too!" He beams. "It's not always easy to find something that doesn't smell too strong with this kind of product."
"Agreed. Maybe I should have looked for some hand cream in Alubarna. My hands still look like some valley after a drought." She muses, looking down at her hands as she flexes them, highlighting the cracked lines of dryness that are almost invisible on her white skin.
Sanji frowns at the sight, and opens one of the drawers under the sink to rummage through it.
"I think I have some if you want… Hm, not that one…"
She leans towards him to read the description of the products that seem to be a mix of skin and hair lotions randomly thrown in together, though she suspects that Sanji and Usopp share at least some of their stuff with the other, considering how much the former likes to take care of his appearance and how much time the latter spends on his hair -and his bad case of dandruff.
Sanji eventually fishes out what he's looking for, and hands it to her with a smile.
"Thanks, Hermes. You're an angel." She yawns sleepily, having taken the watch shift with Luffy that night.
He kept her awake through it, but then she ended up being unable to go back to sleep until ten minutes before she had to get up for her training with Zoro.
Needless to say, she's definitely going to take a nap today.
She guesses it's one perk of not having classes to attend and homework to do, although thinking about that makes her feel guilty more often than not, no matter how much she's doing and learning otherwise.
As if she's intentionally playing hooky.
(It takes a conscious effort for her first thought to not be that studying feels like the only thing she's really good at
-Dancing doesn't count.
She doesn't want it to be something she's good or bad at, just something she enjoys-
If she doesn't do her best in that, how will she get a job that will make her parents proud?)
She blinks, dismissing the passing thought with practiced ease, and puts the tube next to her toothbrush on the edge of the sink.
"Mind giving me your hands for a sec?" She mumbles, holding up her own with her palms facing her crewmate.
"What for?" He asks even as he mirrors her position, confused.
"Just wanna check something."
She places her palms against his, and immediately pouts.
Her hands look more like her father's than her mother's, so she has pretty long fingers. Last she checked, they were longer than her sister's and Naomi's, and probably most of her crewmates', too. But…
Yeah.
Nami's and Sanji's are definitely longer.
"Ugh. I want nice hands, too." She mutters under her breath as she lets her weight fall forwards, interlacing her fingers with his to make sure she doesn't actually fall.
Sanji doesn't budge, smiling at her brooding tone, seemingly stuck in an embarassed middle between amusement and flattered appreciation.
"Get out of here, you two. It's my turn." Zoro grunts as he barges in for his post-training shower, already topless with a towel slung over his shoulder.
"You're ruining the fucking mood, Fang." Elynna informs him toneslessly with a dull glance.
"And you're ruining my mood." He scoffs right back as he shoves her lightly to the side to reach for his shower gel in the small cupboard above the sink.
"Uh. That was actually pretty good." She comments even as the movement sends her tripping right into Sanji, who lets go of her hands to gently grasp her arms instead.
"Wanna repeat that? Looks like I'm going too easy on y-"
Zoro grunts as Sanji's foot shoves him 'lightly' away.
"What the hell, you stupid cook?" He scowls with a threatening step forward.
"Mind your manners, cactus head." Sanji sniffs right back.
"I don't want to hear that from someone who makes people wait hours outside of the bathroom."
The swordsman is almost right in Sanji's face by now, and Elynna peers up at both of their faces in turn, following the shouting match with vague interest before she eventually slips out of the tight space between their bodies and back into the sleeping space, toothbrush and newly-acquired cream in hand.
She inspects said hands critically once more.
"Hey, Hawk." She calls out to Usopp who is fiddling with something in his hammock. "How do I get nice hands like Rain's?"
"I dunno… Dieting?"
She considers the possibility for all of two seconds before shrugging.
"Was a nice dream, I guess."
"That was fast."
"No way am I giving up any of my share of Hermes' food. Besides, they'll become ugly with age anyway. Compared to my current beauty standards, at least."
"Don't remind me." Usopp grouches as he gets up to leave, just in case Zoro and Sanji break the door -and somehow his experiment with it.
She follows him out and then goes back to the girls' cabin, pushing the door open and then closed with one foot.
"That took some time. Did Luffy get into trouble again or something?" Nami asks absently without looking up from the map she's drawing.
"Uh? No, Robin-san is entertaining him. I just got literally stuck between Hermes and Fang when they started a fight."
Nami's annoyed sigh doesn't quite make it out of her lips in her state of focus.
"My condolences."
"Nah, it was fine."
That makes Nami look up with a raised eyebrow, before the words click into place in her head, and she rolls her eyes.
"You mean their bodies were fine, right?"
Elynna gives her a deadpan glance that says well duh, and Nami rolls her eyes again as she goes back to her work.
"The worst." She smiles.
"Those glasses look great on you, by the way. Very sexy."
"Hm. I guess there's worse than you."
〪〪〪〜〜⏆〜〜〭〭〭
It's short. I know. I'm so shocked I managed to publish a chapter of somewhat reasonable length for the first time since, like, chapter 13 or something like that.
Well I cheated a bit, but who's counting?
Also here, have some more domestic fluff that no one asked for and that probably was the reason why this chapter took me twice as long to write, but meh. They're cute.
By the way, CrossBladeWing from AO3 was the one who suggested that I make a rubber duck joke about Karoo, so you can thank him/her/them for that!
And no worries for anyone getting tired of the plotless fillers, the second part of this chapter definitely has more action!