Chapter 4 - Barriss

Author's Note: Second Battle of Geonosis. :')

~ Amina Gila

He can still taste the earthiness in the air, feel the oppressive darkness and lack of air, and the heat from the explosion.

"At least we destroyed the factory," Barriss's voice filters in, and Anakin is overwhelmed with relief over the fact that she's alive. "We've saved countless lives."

At the cost of their own.

No.

Obi-Wan needs him.

Rex and his brothers need him.

Anakin is not going to die here, not like this. "I'm about to save two more," he promises, withdrawing his comm. It was damaged in the explosion, but he can fix it. He's done things like that all the time.

Anakin is good at fixing things, at machines. That's the one place he knows he can succeed.

The wires spark on contact.

Obi-Wan is looking for him.

Barriss is gripping his hand, and Anakin can feel her fear. She's accepting, but she's terrified, and she doesn't want to die. She's thirteen. Anakin is fifteen. They're Jedi, and that's more important than anything, but he still doesn't want this. Obi-Wan and Rex need him. Echo. Fives. He has friends. Family.

People who will miss him.

He doesn't want to die here. Doesn't want this to be the end.

"We'll be okay," Anakin tries promising. It feels like it falls flat. It does.

Barriss is still holding his hand, and Anakin half drags her to her feet when light finally blinds their vision. His master. His master came for him. Of course, he did. Obi-Wan. Master. (Father.) They're safe.

Obi-Wan grips his arm, leaning down to help him out of the debris himself.

Because he loves him. Because he cares. Someone does. Someone other than the mother that Anakin walked away from.

Anakin is leaning on him a little, panting and exhausted and aching everywhere. "Don't you ever do something like this again," he orders fiercely.

I love you, he wants to say. Doesn't say it, only nods mindlessly.

He's safe. They're okay. They're – that's all that matters.

**w**

Years later and Anakin still thinks space is cold. He's getting used to it, though. The difficulty is trying to sleep though – being here in an actual cot, in actual barracks on a ship somewhere. He's safe here, after being on Geonosis for weeks. He's used to sleeping on rocks and sand. Not somewhere comfortable.

"What? What is it?" Barriss asks. She's lying on her back in a position that couldn't possibly be comfortable, but she's doing it, anyway.

"I think something's wrong," Anakin admits, turning over to face her, "It's so... quiet. Maybe I'm just being jittery."

"You should get some rest while we have the chance."

He sighs. "I can't." He doesn't feel safe. He can't sleep, either.

Whether it's the memories of Geonosis, or just the rippling warning in the Force that something's not quite right, he doesn't know. All Anakin can make sense out of is that he can't sleep. Doesn't want to... anything.

He thought they were going to die there together, that he'd never get to see his master again, and his mother – Anakin can't imagine what that would do to them. He doesn't want that. Doesn't want to die. People need him. Everybody needs him. The room is too small, and the bunk above him is too close and it's too dark, and it feels like the walls are closing in on him.

He needs – how is he going to sleep again, if he can't even tolerate looking at the ceiling? It's insane.

"Maybe we could go somewhere brighter," Anakin suggests, "More – I don't know. Open." He'd go himself, but he doesn't want to leave Barriss alone. She's young, and she – if something's wrong, she needs someone to take care of her, too. That's obviously not something her master was too much into. It's almost a miracle she's still alive.

"Would you like something to eat?" Barriss queries, pushing herself up.

"Are you hungry?" Anakin asks, sitting up.

"Well, we might as well make use of the time."

**w**

"I'm not sure we can rest," Anakin says finally as they sit across the table from each other. He can't stop thinking about that. "We're Jedi. The galaxy needs us."

"Yes, it does, and we are," Barriss agrees, poking at her food. She looks less hungry than Anakin is, even.

"But we were never trained to fight. I don't know what it'll mean once the war's over, and we... what will happen to us then? And to our men? They're soldiers, but if there's nothing for them to fight..."

"The Republic will decide what happens to the clones," Barriss assures, like that's supposed to be reassuring somehow. It's not. Anakin doesn't know how it could be – he doesn't trust the Republic. Not with his boys, when they've already been sent to die, and no one sees them useful for any other purpose.

"Maybe, but what about us? How will we keep peace after the war's over?" Will he even get to see Rex and the 501st again after? Anakin wants the war to end, but sometimes, he's afraid of the changes that will come with it.

"You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting."

"I don't know," she replies, "What does your master say?"

Anakin has never talked to Obi-Wan much about that, even if he thinks about it all the time. "Honestly, I've never really asked him, but what I do know is that my master will always do what needs to be done."

He has always chosen to fight, no matter whether that's the right choice or not. Usually, it's the fastest, the safest, and most successful, but the point stands. There's a difference between war and peace, and Anakin has no idea where exactly that point lies.

Not anymore.

"Well, that's not always a bad thing," Barriss replies, and Anakin's head snaps up. He raises an eyebrow at her questioningly, waiting for her to speak, say something else, because that's odd. He's never heard a Jedi say anything quite like that before. Not so...

They're cut off when the door opens.

Something's wrong, but it's just a group of clones who's there.

"Ox, Edge, want to join us?" Anakin asks, perking up. Except, they're just staring blankly, and he has an instant bad feeling. "Is something wrong?" he queries warily. The Force is tense, and he knows something's about to blow up, though that doesn't make sense. These are his friends.

It happens so fast.

The clones raise their blasters and start shooting.

Anakin jumps to his feet, dodging the first shots and drawing his lightsaber to deflect the next.

"What are you doing?!" he yells, panic and hurt flaring up inside him. Barriss is on her feet, too, and Anakin Force-shoves the clones across the room into the wall when they don't stand down. He'd have told them to, except if they're shooting at him, that's obviously not their intention.

The door opens and two more clones enter. Anakin and Barriss instantly level their lightsabers towards them. The clones take a step back, lowering raising their blasters.

"Two clones just attacked us," Barriss snaps, "What's going on?"

"Trap, do you know what happened to them?" Anakin queries. His heart is still hammering, and he hates having to stay on edge, but if he lowers his lightsaber, they could kill him.

"Couldn't tell you, Commander," he replies, shaking his head. "I'm just as confused as you are."

"But you're in charge of those men!" Barriss snaps, "Did you order them to kill us?"

"No, sir!" he promises, "I did not." He's freaking out about as much as Anakin is.

"But what's happening?" Anakin asks desperately, "Why would they do that?" He's as confused as he is hurt. They wouldn't – they were his friends. They fought together on Geonosis. They wouldn't do this.

"We don't know," Trap answers, "We heard shots."

That's a fair explanation.

Anakin steps back, lowering his lightsaber. "I believe you," he assures, "But we need to find out what's going on."

Barriss looks at him, gaze sharp, but doesn't object.

"We should make sure we're still in control of the bridge," one of the two finally points out.

"Yeah," Anakin agrees. "If this happened... I don't understand. None of this makes sense." It hurts, but they didn't feel like themselves. It was almost like something else was there, controlling them.

Barriss comms the bridge, but there's no response. That's – not good.

"We better get up there," Anakin says, "Havoc, can you keep an eye on them while we go to the bridge?"

"Yes, sir," he answers, nodding, just as Anakin knew he would. Still, he feels better if he asks instead of just orders. They have free-will, too.

The trip to the bridge isn't long, but every step of the way, the unsettled feeling Anakin has just grows. Something is wrong. The presences of almost all the clones that he senses are grayed over somehow, like they're being hidden.

Ray shields flicker over the openings the moment the three of them arrive. "Someone's hiding something," Anakin asserts, eyes narrowed, "I'll try to override them."

"Have you done this before?" Barriss queries.

"No, but I'm sure I can figure out fast enough." Hotwiring things really isn't that hard. He does it all the time, just not with ray shields. Anakin's good with machines.

He kneels beside the controls, looking them over, only to hear Trap moving forwards.

Barriss yelps, and Anakin whirls around to see the clone grabbing her, a yellow-green worm wriggling out of his mouth.

He is going to be sick.

Anakin reaches for his lightsaber, but Barriss already has hers out, stabbing him through and shoving him off. Anakin slashes through the worm, letting the pieces fall to the floor, heart hammering. What the kriff?

Trap's body is lying motionless on the floor.

That makes him feel sicker than anything else.

"You didn't have to kill him," Anakin says finally, still frozen.

"Of all the things you could be worried about, that's the one?" Barriss asks, crouching by the worm and picking up one of the pieces, "I think the clones are infected. It could be disastrous if this spread."

Somehow, it always feels like his care for his friends, for his men goes too far for the other Jedi. They treat it like a weakness. He never thought it was one.

"Then we better warn Master Fisto."

**w**

They were heading to when they accidentally stumble onto a clone barracks. There's some sort of worm – Geonosian – possessing them somehow, and those who aren't already infected are being forcibly infected.

Anakin was going to intervene, but they're found and attacked before he gets the chance.

Probably, he should stop using ventilation shafts as the answer to literally everything, but they usually work, so that's where they go.

"We still need to warn Master Fisto," Anakin says, panting a little.

"I'll disable the thrusters to prevent us from reaching the medical station," Barriss replies, "We can't let this spread."

"I don't know if splitting up is the best idea," he answers, because he doesn't, but she's still right. They don't have much choice. "But... just be careful, okay?"

"Of course," she assures, nodding, and Anakin throws another worried glance at her before they part ways.

Master Fisto isn't nearly as worried about the worms as Anakin thinks he ought to be, but he's on the Council, and Anakin follows his instructions no matter how much he second-guesses them.

Then... Rex's comm comes in, and Anakin answers instantly. "Hey, Rex," he answers, nearly letting out an audible sigh of relief when he sees him. Rex is familiar. Safe. Always has been, even if the same could've once been said about the clones Anakin is currently with. "I'm so glad to see you again."

"You too, kid," he assures with a nod. "The General wants to talk to you."

"Anakin, are you alright?" Obi-Wan asks, appearing on the screen.

"For now, yeah," he promises, "Don't worry about that. We just need to find a way to stop these worms. Poggle should know."

"He hasn't been particularly forthcoming with anything, but I'm going to interrogate him now," Obi-Wan replies, "Keep your wrist comm on, and stay in hiding. I'll contact you when I find something." That sounds like he's sure he will, and Anakin – isn't sure how. He can't imagine the Geonosian leader being very cooperative.

"Thank you," he answers, anyway, instead of asking. The details don't matter. Obi-Wan knows what he's doing.

Danger prickles in the Force when the connection cuts, and Anakin turns to see Barriss standing in the entrance.

"Barriss?" Anakin queries, perking up, "Did you make it?"

She ignites her lightsabers, eyes narrowed, and then he knows. They possessed her, too, which means he's trapped here alone. Barriss jumps at him, and Anakin dives aside, igniting his lightsaber. He doesn't want to fight her. It feels so wrong – she's so young, and this isn't her. He doesn't want to hurt her.

"Barriss, snap out of it," he tries desperately, but there's no sign of recognition in her eyes. There's nothing she can do any more than the clones could.

He just has to run.

**w**

Barriss isn't that hard to get past, all things considered, and Anakin vents again. He is still hidden safely in the vents when his master contacts him with the information that cold should kill the worms. Considering the heat of Geonosis, that makes sense. Cold certainly isn't ideal, considering Anakin has nothing to keep warm in, but it's the best they can do. They'll... have to get off-board fast to avoid freezing to death once he ruptures the coolant system. That's not hard, either to do or to get to. What matters is stopping these creatures, more than anything else.

The air is foggy as the temperature drops below freezing. Anakin never realized exactly how humid air was on ships until right now, but the ship is still moving fast, and he needs... he doesn't know, but he's afraid to dock at the station right now.

Master Fisto did give him orders, though.

He's mid-contacting the Jedi Master again to tell him he succeeded, and to ask if he has any further instructions, only for Barriss to jump out at him, slamming her lightsaber down on the controls.

Anakin jumps out of his seat, drawing his lightsaber and grabbing one of the pipes leaking icy air, shoving it towards her. The cold is supposed to kill the worms, and the faster they're dead, the sooner the chance of them getting out of here.

His hands are numb enough that he can hardly feel his lightsaber, can't feel anything except the fact that it's freezing and everything is freezing, and they better dock soon before anyone freezes to death. To be fair, humans don't die that fast, but he has a right to be worried after everything that's happened here.

Barriss is trying to infect him – or at least the worm in her is. It's sickening and Anakin hasn't wished so desperately he wasn't alone since he and Barriss were trapped in the factory together. But at least they had each other there.

He can't say the same now.

All he knows is that he wants to get out of here, and he Force-shoves Barriss across the room.

She hits the floor, the worm screeching something in Geonosian, or at least that's what it reminds Anakin of.

"Kill me," she pants weakly, "Please."

Anakin stares at her, a gut-wrenching horror ripping him apart inside out. She's – he can't do that. "This isn't you," he argues, shaking his head. "It's not your fault. We'll be okay," he adds, because even if it won't do much to help, he has to try. She needs the reassurance, and Anakin can't imagine what it would be like to get possessed by something. It sounds – he doesn't want to think about it.

She's panicking, and so is he – there's really nothing they can do except wait for the cold to take effect. Is it hurting her? Will she be alright?

Will the clones be alright? Anakin has no idea.

(Barriss killed one of them, she killed Trap, and Anakin can't get that moment out of his head. There was nothing he could do but stand there, and he – who will he lose next?)

She pushes herself to her feet again, and Anakin shifts, repositioning himself and slashing the worm in half. If it's dead, well – maybe he can free her, though that won't do good for the clones still aboard.

At least he can save her.

That's – the most Anakin can do right now.

**w**

Anakin jolts back to wakefulness, pushing himself upright, heart hammering.

He was just – he was freezing, and his hands were numb, and he couldn't feel, but the worms were still there and Anakin had to stop them and what if they're still here and –

"Anakin," Obi-Wan's voice filters in, his face coming into view a millisecond later. "Anakin, relax. You're safe here."

It's only hearing his master's voice that calms him down. He's here, and he – Anakin must have been out of it for quite a while if Obi-Wan was able to come all the way here from Coruscant. That must've been a while, but Anakin did nearly freeze to death. Literally. It would take a while to recover from that.

He doesn't know much about hypothermia. Doesn't know much about nearly freezing to death, rather, but at least he's safe now.

Still tired, though. Exhausted. Worn.

He lays back down, and Obi-Wan tugs the blanket up around him again. It's warm here, and Anakin lets himself relax into it a bit. He's just so tired – that's really the most he can still feel, though that makes sense. "The others?" he queries, remembering through a distant haze what happened.

It was so cold. He thought they were all going to die.

Or, he was afraid of it, rather – didn't actually think it'd happen.

"Barriss and the clones are well," Obi-Wan assures, hand resting on his shoulder, and Anakin leans into it, desperate for the contact. He wants that, to curl up beside someone and just be for a little while. Doesn't even care how un-Jedi-like those feelings are. Anakin is unfazed by nearly dying himself. It's the danger to his friends that he can't handle well. He'll get back up if and when they need him, but for now...

He's perfectly content with staying here.

"What were those things?" Anakin asks, shuddering a little at the memory.

"I think I can help answer that," Master Fisto replies, entering the room. "We had the parasite worms analyzed. They are the same type of creature you found on Geonosis, Master Kenobi."

Ugh. Yuck. Anakin wasn't there when Obi-Wan and Luminara found those things, but he doesn't want to think about that. "That's probably how they reconquered Geonosis in the first place," Anakin suggests.

"I would recommend warning the troops on the surface, then," Obi-Wan replies.

"We can't afford to lose it again."

"I will warn them," Fisto answers, "And we will try to find a... simpler way to eliminate them."

"Good. I think we could do with not nearly freezing everyone who gets infected." Anakin turns his hand over under the blanket, and he doesn't know if it's more he or Obi-Wan who reaches for each other first, but either way, he feels his master's hand gripping his. It's grounding, and he needs it right now.

It's soothing.

"You've been through quite an ordeal, little one," Master Fisto says, looking at him.

"What counts is that it's over," Anakin replies, "With – only one casualty."

"There were three," Obi-Wan interjects.

"The pilots?" Anakin guesses, exhaustion suddenly crashing into him full force.

"Unfortunately," he answers, "It would appear so."

Those weren't Barriss, at least. Anakin still can't get over the fact that she did that. She could've just – shoved him. Or something. She didn't have to kill him, and he wants to bring it up again, but he – after how she reacted the first time, he doesn't want to talk about it.

Speaking of Barriss, she's laying on a bed across the room from him, sleeping. She looks so peaceful. He wishes he could find that himself.

Anakin can't think of anything else to say, so he just nods numbly.

Master Fisto leaves not long later, and Anakin doesn't miss how Obi-Wan nearly relaxes the slightest amount. "Are you okay?" Anakin asks him. "You seem... I don't know. Tense."

"Of course, I am," he replies, not quite annoyed, but close enough. "You could've died again."

"That's part of war. Of fighting." Anakin squeezes his hand, closing his eyes again. He's so tired. "But I didn't. That's what matters, isn't it?"

"The risks you take are too much. Too many. What happens when I'm not there to save you?"

That isn't something Anakin wants to think about. "Isn't that where we trust in the Force? And each other?"

"Perhaps," Obi-Wan agrees grudgingly, "But the reality remains, there will be a time where I am not there to protect you, and whatever happens will not be something we can control."

"You don't have to control everything, Master." It's sort of tentative, quiet, but it's something Anakin thinks he needs to say. He has to try, and his master needs to understand that. Anakin understands it. Obi-Wan will always try to help him, but Anakin can't always count on it, and he'd never think the less of him if he wasn't able to. "There are things all of us can't do."

"I am your master," Obi-Wan replies, as if that actually answered something somehow. "It's my responsibility to protect you."

"And if – if you can't, then... I'd never hold that against you. I understand. It's not always something you can control."

"I know," his master agrees reluctantly, grip tight on his hand. He doesn't say anything else, but somehow, Anakin doesn't think his words helped very much. He tried though. That's the most he can offer.

"Well," Anakin goes for instead, trying for levity, "I'm not rupturing coolant systems again anytime soon. I still don't like cold."

Obi-Wan stares at him. "You are infuriating," he says flatly.

Anakin grins back at him. "I try to be."

"I know," he grumbles, leaning closer to stroke a hand through his hair.

Anakin has no idea what they'd do without each other. It's a good thing he'll never have to worry about it.

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