Disclaimer- I do not own The Walking Dead
Shadowoftheblackdeat- Thank you and that's exactly what I was imagining Sophia doing when I wrote it. I'm more than happy for you or anyone to give me some ideas. I got a few but I'm getting through them and I can definitely do with some more.
Enjoy
Danny's POV
4 months and 25 days.
"Why would you say something like that?" I'm angry, worse than angry. Merle is suggesting we stop looking for The Sheriff, for Glenn and for everyone else who managed to escape the farm.
"'Cause we're chasin' fuckin' ghosts. They're either long gone or dead", Sophia makes a startled cry at Merles harsh words, "we ain't ever gonna find them and we're wastin' our supplies lookin' for 'em".
I turn my anger on Daryl who is just off to the side silently listening to Merles outrageous suggestion. "And you, you're okay with this? Don't just stand there like you don't have a fucking voice".
Daryl raises his hands slightly palms out which just makes me angrier. "We need them". Daryl stops me before I can open my mouth. "But Merle's right we can't keep goin' like this. We're wastin' fuel we don't have lookin' for people we don't even know are alive any more".
"I can't... You". I feel betrayed and at a complete loss for words. "They might need our help".
"Ya barely showin' but what happens when ya get bigger, ya can't sit on the back of my bike and ya can't ride in the damn truck without throwin' up. We don't have any more options. We've seen two herds since we left the farm and they pushed us in different directions so we don't even know if we're goin' the right way to catch up with them. Look Danny I'm..." He reaches out to me.
I jerk away from him. "No, don't. This isn't right".
Merle scoffs. "Isn't right. Are you forgettin' leavin' them was your idea in the fuckin' first place. Huh"
"Merle!" Both Daryl and Carol say his name at the same time but he's right, it was my idea and now they're gone.
Carol wraps a hand around my shoulders and grabs my hand with the other. "Merle, you've overstepped and I don't care how right you are about this, this isn't how you get your point across." She then tugs me, forcing me to walk away with her.
"You agree with them?"
She squeezes my hand and stops as we disappear around the back of the truck. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I do. I want to find them just as much as you do but I think we have to think of ourselves, what's best for us. Chasing after them is not what's best for us".
"Do you blame me for making us leave them in the first place?"
She puts her hand on cheek, "Oh sweetheart no. Nobody does. We did what was best for us, for all we know leaving saved our lives because we don't know what happened at the farm. I don't regret leaving with you and neither do either of them, Merle always has your back I think he's just pissed because we didn't find them and he's worried about you".
In the back of my head I know how Merle feels about us leaving because we talked about it back in that gas station when we all got separated but I don't under any circumstances agree with abandoning the search. For Glenn and this baby. We need Herschel.
"The reason we went back was for Herschel, I need him".
"I know but Danny... I'm sorry. We aren't going to find them." and that right there tells me I have absolutely no chance of convincing any of them to change their minds. I'm on my own. "But you have me and I will be here through every step of this you know that. We need books, medical books about birthing. We can do this, plenty of women have done it before".
I can't make myself agree with any of them so I haven't really said much since we set off, to be honest neither have any of them. They seem quite content to let me marinate in my own sourness in peace.
Carol told the brothers of her need for some books, so we set out in search of a decently sized library, one that would have loads of books so we won't have to go to multiple libraries. Carol wants to spend the next 5 months learning everything she can, for as many scenarios as she can. Me, I know next to zero about child birth, it was never something that I needed to know so I guess I should do some reading to.
We've gone through three towns before finally stopping at this decently sized library. They questioned going in to a city but that's too much of a risk now we know there are herds roaming around.
I climb off the back of the bike and instantly start being the look out.
"This better 'ave what ya lookin' for", Merle tells Carol before jogging up the front steps.
Carol looks at me. "And if it doesn't we'll find another one". I incline my head to acknowledge her before following up the steps behind her. Daryl brings up the rear keeping his eye out down the street for any danger. Merle steps back away from the door and brings his booted foot up but before he can kick the door Sophia reaches forward and pulls on the door handle, she opens the door and stares up at Merle. Carol full on laughs as Sophia smiles all innocently.
"That would have been embarrassing Captain Hookless". I mumble causing Merle to side eye me, he then holds up a finger.
"Don't fuckin' start peg leg".
I bring my bat up to rest against my shoulder. "Would be insulted but considering I still have my limb it doesn't bother me".
"Go back to givin' us the silent treatment if that's how ya gonna talk to me".
Daryl huffs from beside me, "Just go through the fuckin' door Merle".
Merle grumbles under his breath but does as he's told although not before glaring at Sophia as he walks past her. She just sticks her tongue out at him in response. She's definitely immune to him now.
She continues to hold the door open so as I walk past I whisper down to her. "I love you".
"I know". She raises her head like she's so proud of herself, and she should be. She showed up Merle.
We all gather in the foyer before Merle taps on the glass that now blocks us from the rest of the library. We all wait in silence trying to hear for any sort of noise but after a little while we realise that nothings going to come. Either they're trapped somewhere or it's empty.
Daryl loads a bolt into his bow, "Danny, Sophia and Carol you three stick together, got round the right side of the buildin'. Merle you go middle". He settles the crossbow in his hands, "I'll go left".
This time Merle actually grabs the handle of the door to check if it's open. It is. He pulls it open and lets Daryl head in first, bow raised. He does a quick look around before splitting left. Merle bows slightly and sweeps his arm in a gesture for us to go next. I take the lead with my bat held loosely in my hand. Carol and Sophia both have their knives out. My gun is in its usual spot tucked behind my backpack, easy to grab and ready to use if knives aren't enough.
We walk past the main desk, the desk looks neat except for a partially drank mouldy cup of coffee/tea. This place doesn't have any horrible smells, suspicious stains or bodily fluid anywhere. Makes a nice change.
We search the many nooks and crannies, and all the aisles on our side but come up empty. We checked to make sure the fire exit could only be opened from inside before stopping our part of the building check.
Carol picks up a book and blows the dust off the cover. "Other than the dust this place is the nicest place we've been in. Doesn't look like anyone's been here since before the evacuations."
Merle stops and stares at us from a few aisles over so I stick my thumb up to show every things okay. He nods and then spreads his arms out. "Have at it then".
Sophia immediately heads towards the teenage books that are so very clearly marked. Carol watches her go with an expression that looks like she wants to tell her to not disappear out of sight; but Merle's a good teacher and that girl knows how to look after herself. Her first lesson was to always run and hide unless physically incapable to do so. Even Merle has that attitude now.
She's not my daughter so I refrain from saying anything and just wait and watch to see what Carol chooses to do. Once Sophia disappears behind some book shelves Carol seems to decide. She takes in a deep breath and straightens her shoulders and then turns back to me, intent on letting Sophia do what she wants.
I offer her a small smile. "Lets find the books we need".
Carol starts looking through medical books, putting ones that she thinks are useful to the side. I'm staring at the pregnancy books afraid to pick one up. I think about the fact that I'm pregnant every single day, about what this means for us for this baby but sometimes I forget. I forget that I'm just over four months pregnant because I barely have a bump and what I do have you can't see through my winter clothing, and I'm still able to do everything. The only thing that hinders me is the sickness on car journeys and some smells. Daryl came up with a solution for the smell of rotten corpses. He has supplied me with some cotton rags that we keep washing with nice smelling detergent. I hold it against my nose to soften the smell of rotting corpses. It doesn't completely block out the smell but it does the trick, for now. He always keeps one on him for emergencies.
I grab the 'Day-by-day pregnancy book' and flip right to the part that talks about the 16th week. I stare at the picture of what the baby looks like at this stage. Defined facial features, arms and legs. It's not just some tadpole looking thing inside me, it's a full on baby. I put my hand inside my coat and rest it against my stomach. Without sonograms this has been the first time I have seen a picture of what my baby could actually look like.
I know Daryl will be stood by the front doors so that's where I head straight for. As soon as he looks back at me I hold the book up, open and facing towards him so he can see the picture that I saw.
"This is what our baby looks like". The smile on his face has my heart clenching, he looks away for a second like he's trying to hide the smile but he obviously can't stop himself because when he looks back up it's still in place.
"God, I fuckin' love you".
Now it's my turn for the uncontrollable shy smile. We know how we feel about each other but we've never said those words before.
I slam the book shut and move closer to him. "I love you to". He pulls me in and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug causing some things in my bag to crinkle under the pressure.
"Don't squash my snacks".
He chuckles around the word sorry.
I don't read any further into my new book, I'm slightly nervous to see what I'm in for and I don't think I'm ready to know yet.
One by one the others appear. Carol with her arms loaded with books, Sophia holding a couple of novels and the most surprising his Merle who walks into view holding a big hardback book.
He waggles it at me. "All about plant life so you don't accidentally poison you or us". Obviously he was insulting my lack of knowledge but to be fair that book will be useful. I snatch it away from him but otherwise ignore him. I hand them to Carol after she's loaded her lot into an empty bag that used to hold some of our food.
Daryl swings the backpack onto his back. "Let's get goin' 'fore it gets dark".
"We can't stay here?" Carol's question is exactly what I was thinking except I really wasn't going to question it.
"Nah, I don't like how exposed our vehicles are", and there's Daryl's valid reason.
"Plus ya know how much I hate stayin' in the middle of a town", Merle finishes that up with a fake shiver. He believes staying in the centre of a town, where all the shops are, makes it more likely for us to come across other people looking for the same things we are.
The five us pile out on to the street and that's when we hear it, and we hear it all at the same time. Sophia automatically latches onto my arm, preparing herself to not get separated if we have to run. My grip on my bat tightens as Daryl glances at me and then Merle. That's a herd if we've ever heard one. We race down the steps and quickly put our truck between us and them. We peer through the window as the first ones start to appear and then all of us expect Daryl duck down, trying to not be seen. It just takes one to spot something and then others will follow. The bikes on the other side so we can't even try and make an escape yet.
I'm squatting on the floor right by Merle's feet when he lets out a loud fart. I glare up at him.
He looks down at me sheepishly. "Sorry, it got away from me".
"If I die because you farted you are coming with me". He just shrugs down at me in response. I put my hand against my nose as he starts to smell. "Seriously". Why did I have to be the one sat at his level. Daryl's hand suddenly straightens out behind him as he holds my nice smelling rag in between his fingers. I gladly hold it against my nose.