Usually when there was a crowd gathered around a certain table in the Plumbers HQ, Weiss had learned something stupid was about to happen. Or legendary. One time she came into the room to see Ben and Ruby dueling with these strange metal tops, and that was unexpectedly entertaining.
Well, entertaining until they 'ripped too hard' and the tops somehow managed to get embedded in the walls of HQ.
(Weiss stared at the still stuck top. No one had managed to get it out. Perhaps it would still be here when she was older.)
But from the second she saw Kevin, a stack of bills on the table, and a single bottle of barbecue sauce, she knew stupid wouldn't be a strong enough word to describe what was happening.
Weiss joined the crowd and stood next to Kylie. "Debrief me," she sighed.
"As you know, Ben likes to make stupid bets," Kylie explained.
"Uh huh..."
"He found an bottle of unopened barbecue sauce upstairs, and then bet Kevin $100 that he couldn't drink all of it in one minute," she went on.
"...uh huh."
"Kevin immediately took that bet."
"As he usually does. So, is Ben gonna lose $100?" Weiss asked tiredly.
Kylie shrugged. "Probably."
Kevin cracked his neck and fingers as he stared at the bottle. "Let's do this," he said, grinning.
Ben nervously shifted in his seat and held up his phone. Weiss could see the timer on the screen, Ben's thumb hovering over the 'start' button. "Uh...3...2...1...go?"
Kevin immediately popped the cap off the bottle, licked his lips, and started to chug. The crowd fell silent, as Kevin paused to swallow and take a deep breath-
And smirked. "You're fucked," he crowed, making Ben huff angrily. The crowd cheered as Kevin easily finished off the rest of the barbecue sauce. He slammed down the bottle and yelled, the crowd chanting his name.
"Wait!" someone in the crowd exclaimed. "What's the time?"
Ben groaned and showed the nearest person. "15 seconds flat!" Lev shouted back, making the crowd roar again.
"Well, that's done with," Weiss said as the noise around her continued. "Now, how about we move on and-"
"I got another bet for you!" one of the other Plumbers butted in. "I bet you...$500-"
"Oh Jesus Christ," Kylie grumbled. "He's not walking away from that."
"$500 says you can't eat twelve of these lava cakes." The plumber grinned as several other people began bringing Kevin the meal. It was today's dessert and, arguably, one of the most sought after items on the Plumber cafeteria menu. Weiss had tasted one before and loved its decadent flavor. But one lava cake had been enough to fill her up, how could Kevin possibly eat twelve?
Kevin took a sip of his water and grinned. "I'll take that bet. And, if I win, you guys gotta handle my cleaning duties for the next month."
The crowd around Kevin started to oooh, but the pretty Navajo Plumber just smirked. "In your dreams, kid."
Kylie shook her head before walking over to Kevin. "Keys," she said, stretching out her hand.
"Huh?"
"Keys. I can tell you're gonna be too sick to drive home today." Kylie suddenly frowned. "Also, I recommend using Rush to run some laps around town after you recover. Those cakes are pretty high in calories."
"Yeah, yeah." Kevin rolled his eyes as he handed Kylie the keys to 'Highway Star'. She swung the key ring around her finger, walking away.
"Where are you going?" Weiss asked, following her.
"To go to the store and buy a bunch of Tums. I know he's gonna need those today." Kylie sighed. "Make sure my brother doesn't die, okay?"
Weiss grimaced. "I'm not sure I can keep that promise."
"Oh, and make sure he gets enough water," Kylie added. "Those lava cakes are great but that much chocolate is gonna dehydrate you."
"Understood. See you later." With that, Weiss went to get some more water at the vending machine.
Kevin stared down at the sea of lava cakes before him. Yes, they were amazingly tasty. It was perfect with vanilla ice cream and some whip cream, and it would either have melted chocolate or nutella in the center. God, these Plumbers were spoiled.
...Kevin could only anticipate the stomachache he'd have later. But for $500? It would be worth it.
Kevin picked up the first of many delicious treats and bit into it. It tasted a little strange, thanks to the tangy aftertaste of the barbecue sauce. Kevin paused, and then glared at the Plumber who made that bet.
"You set me up, didn't you?" Kevin hissed.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," the Plumber taunted, her lips pulled into a teasing smirk.
"...you're totally losing now," Kevin declared, as he started to shove lava cake after lava cake in his mouth. The joy on the woman's face slowly morphed into horror as Kevin steadily scarfed them down.
Eight left; Kevin could feel his insides scream in pain.
Six left; Kevin was starting to grow faint.
Three left; Kevin's vision was starting to blur.
Two left; Kevin could barely make out the sounds of the people cheering...
One left; Kevin swore he saw Jesus.
And then, Kevin finished the last dessert. He weakly threw up his arms, and the crowd exploded into applause.
"D-did I do good, Jesus?" Kevin asked the illusion.
"I'm starting to get concerned about your health, dude," Jesus groaned. "Like, me, calm the heck down."
"I have no regrets," Kevin mumbled.
Jesus Christ shook his head. "Of course you don't," he muttered, fading away.
The Plumber begrudgingly set down $500 on the table. She shook her head, locks of black hair falling out of her messy bun, before she and her friends walked off grumbling. Kevin just sat there, frozen like a statue. His eyes were blank and his face was stained with chocolate. Weiss walked back over with her arms full of water bottles.
"You ok?" she asked hesitantly.
"I think I'm going blind," Kevin moaned. "I'm not doing anything stupid for a week."
That was, of course, a hollow promise.
Lev quickly walked over, twelve boxes of the McDonald's McRib in his arms. Kevin looked at him, and Lev gave him a smile that showed nearly all his pearly-white fanged teeth.
"I'll gladly double your winnings if you can eat all of these," he declared.
"Lev, don't enable him!" Weiss snapped.
"...I'll do it." Kevin huffed, as he went to eat the first...
Kylie stood there for a solid minute, taking in the scene before her. Two half eaten McRibs were thrown on the ground, several empty plates covered the table, and the scent of what only could be described as Death hung in the air.
"Goddamn it, Kevin," Kylie said darkly. She walked to the nearest bathroom- she could hear a retching sound inside. She peered in to see Kevin, throwing up in a toilet, and Weiss holding his hair back and looking away.
"Did Lev do the McRib thing again?" Kylie asked, raising an eyebrow.
Weiss looked alarmed at the word 'again'. "How did you know?"
"He does this all the time," she explained. "And it's always at the worst possible time."
"Hey." Lev poked his head in and frowned. "It's the best time for me cause I know I'll win."
Kylie paused to think about that. "You know what? Fair point."