Your Future Hasn't Been Written Yet
by K. Stonham
first released 5th October 2021
"All right, so our haul, minus ten percent finders' fees for me and Blinky, is this," Toby said, dumping the heap of treasure into the center of their loose circle.
"Hey, what about Douxie and Archie's cut?" Claire complained.
"Archie's got his already, and if anyone wants to try to argue it's more than ten percent, be my guest," Douxie said.
"Never argue treasure with a dragon," agreed Blinky.
"As for me, I've got this," Douxie continued, hefting his book. "And given it's written in a language neither Archie nor I nor Blinky even recognize, I'll wager it'll be very interesting someday. So I'm set."
Archie sniffed. "Why is it that you'll work yourself to the bone at minimum wage jobs," he asked his familiar, "but refuse to take a reasonable share of a treasure heist?"
"Bad habits," Douxie told him unconcernedly.
"What are you going to do with the cursed items?" Draal asked him.
"Haven't decided yet. I'm still figuring out the spells on some of them." Douxie smiled wickedly. "There's a couple pieces that might be useful, you never know."
"All right," Jim said, consulting the giant hand-drawn calendar pinned to the cave's wall with some rock shards, "we've got the Birthstone. Next up is the Killstone. Doux, you still sitting this one out?"
Douxie exchanged a look with Archie. "If you don't think we'll be needed," he said, "I'm pretty sure Archie really does not want to ride the gyre any more than we have to."
"Infernal contraption," the dragon muttered. Aaarrrgghh offered him a fist; without looking, Archie bumped it in gyre-hating solidarity.
"Okay, we'll do the run to Florida this Saturday, then," said Jim, and penciled it in.
"Ugh, I have to babysit my brother that day," Claire complained.
"Bring him along?" Toby suggested.
Glances were exchanged all around. "That... might be a bad idea?" Jim said.
"Or perhaps a good one, if we wish to acclimate trollkind to changelings," Blinky mused.
"Expose whelp to culture?" Aaarrrgghh suggested.
"We could give him a job," Draal suggested.
"I like that thought," said Douxie. "Trust him, and let him know it's up to him to prove that trust is not misplaced."
"It would give NotEnrique a chance to grow up," Claire mused. "I mean, he's not as horrible as he was the first time around, but he still has a ways to go."
"We could sic him on nabbing Blango's crown," Toby said. "I mean, he's small, he's fast, he's hard to catch."
"And my portals are just about up to his size," Claire said.
"That sounds like we have a plan, then," said Jim.
Despite Douxie's careful use of painkillers, his arm ached. Archie's claws were long and sharp, and while he didn't think they'd pierced all the way to the bone, Douxie wouldn't be surprised if they'd gotten near it. At least there were no signs of infection. Barbara still tsked when she sat down next to him on the sofa and unwrapped it to check.
"Well, carrying trays is going to be miserable for a bit," Douxie admitted.
She sighed. "At least you've cut back on on your waiter shifts." She efficiently swabbed away the crusted seepage and retreated the injuries before applying a clean bandage. Archie looked on, gaze keen and concerned.
"Thank you," Hisirdoux told her.
"You're welcome," Barbara said. "I suppose I should be grateful that, excepting Walter, this is the worst any of you have gotten hurt so far."
"Perhaps. We're doing our best not to get injured, you know."
"I know." She sighed. "Dealing with people trying to literally save the world was not covered in my psych courses in med school."
"If it helps," Douxie offered, "saving the world's not really covered in wizard training either."
"What is?"
"Pushing brooms, milking slorrs, lots of reading, and more than a fair amount of 'What have you done NOW, Hisirdoux?'"
Barbara blinked at that. "What's a slorr?"
"An armored creature about the size of a rhinoceros," Archie told her. "They have many tentacles, and an untrammeled willingness to use them on anyone bothering them."
"Unfortunately," Douxie added with a sigh, remembering years of having to milk one of the bad-tempered beasts, "their milk's the perfect base for dozens of alchemical concoctions. Luckily, these days you can get it express-shipped globally from a breeding reserve in the Ukraine." Where the slorrs were milked by anyone but him.
"The wonders of the modern postal system," Barbara murmured.
"It is a wonder," Douxie agreed whole-heartedly. She looked surprised, so he explicated. "Look, I'm not saying there's not a lot wrong with the modern world, but... people can just get in a metal tube and fly to just about anywhere in the world within a few hours. There's medicines that people only dreamed of for centuries. You don't have to worry about what died in it upstream when you go get some water from the river. And don't even get me started on the existence of hot showers. Those are truly a marvel."
"Well." She patted the hand of his injured arm. "Keep this dry in the shower for a couple days more and we'll see how you're healing up before you try to scrub it, okay?"
"I will follow the doctor's orders," Hisirdoux promised her.
"Good." Barbara gathered up her supplies and retreated upstairs to put them back into the medicine cabinet.
Archie, for his part, still stood on the arm of the sofa. "Those are not burn marks," he said softly.
Hisirdoux met his familiar's gold eyes. "I didn't say they were."
Gold narrowed. "Lying by omission is just as bad, Douxie."
Douxie sighed. "I didn't want you to feel guilty. It was an accident, and the gyre had you feeling rotten enough as it was."
Archibald wended closer, until he was pressed up against Hisirdoux's side. Douxie wrapped an arm around his familiar, the person who, if the wizard was honest, meant more to him than anyone else on Earth. More even than Claire, who was his pupil, or Jim, on whom the possibility of the future hung. More even than Merlin. "It's all right, Arch," he said softly. "You'd never hurt me on purpose, I know that. Let it go."
The disguised dragon bristled. "If you start singing that song-!
Douxie chuckled. "I wasn't going to," he promised. The thought came to him, though, of a reparation he needed to make. "I know you don't remember it," he said, "but I do, so... I'm sorry I let the Arcane Order kill me, Arch."
"Douxie-"
"No," he said. "I need to apologize. I went into that fight intending to die, not because I wanted to, but because the greatest good would come of it, and I didn't tell you my plan. Didn't even say goodbye. Because I knew you'd never let me do it, or at least not alone, and I needed you to live." Tears prickled at his eyes; he slashed them away. "And I'm sorry I hurt you that way."
"Why did you do it?"
"Someone needed to get Nari out of there, and it was just you and me left. And you," Douxie pointed out, "have wings."
Archie sniffed, unmollified. His paws were on Douxie's leg, and Douxie could just feel the pinpricks of claws through the denim.
"I know you haven't blamed me for it," Hisirdoux said carefully, "but I also know I haven't always been the wizard you'd hoped for, when you took pity on that five-year-old stumbling through a downpour. You've always deserved better than me, Arch, don't think I don't know that."
"Well-"
Douxie smiled. "You see, this is where you can't say that there is no better wizard out there, because you'd be lying."
"Perhaps," Archie allowed. "But have you ever considered that your wizardry is incidental to who you are?"
"Not really."
"Well, it's true." The pressure of the claws increased slightly, then diminished. "I wasn't looking for another Merlin when I started searching for a familiar."
"What were you looking for?" asked Hisirdoux.
"I... don't really know," Archie said, gaze distant as he thought about the past. "But I will say," he said, "I've never been disappointed in the choice I made. You really don't know how much love you have to spend on people, do you, Douxie? And how much life, and enthusiasm, you possess."
Speechless, Douxie shook his head.
"That said," Archie said sternly, "don't you ever do that again."
Hisirdoux had to laugh. "You know," he said, gathering his familiar into his arms and cherishing the familiar, warm, soft, silken fur against his face, "that's exactly what you said to me then, too."
"And I remain correct," said the dragon, purring.
Barbara was waiting in the basement, reading a novel, when the group of teenagers and trolls returned from Florida late Saturday. She could hear their chatter and laughter coming down the tunnels, so she stood and called up the stairs, "They're back!"
Not waiting for Douxie and Archie, she stepped beyond the barrier and saw the group come around the bend. Happy faces, no injuries, and, riding triumphantly atop Aaarrrgghh's scruff, a small green troll wearing an infant's onesie, a crown perched lopsided on his head.
She relaxed.
"Mom!" Jim lit up on seeing her.
"I take it everything went okay, then?" she asked as he hugged her.
"Everything went splendidly!" Blinky crowed. "Seeing Masters Jim and Toby fight together was, in the words of our future compatriot Varvatos, most glorious! Sic Semper Tyrranis, indeed."
"Though mission MVP has to go to my little bro here, though," said Claire, gesturing at the tiny troll. "He stole the crown right off Blango's head."
"You sure you don't want to join my and Douxie's prestidigitation club?" Toby asked NotEnrique as he swung himself down. "Because that was some sweet sleight of hand, dude."
"Nah, 's not my style," the troll replied.
"You will be a fearsome warrior someday," Draal said as Douxie and Archie came out into the tunnel.
"All went well, then?" the wizard asked.
Glances were exchanged. "Just about perfect, I think?" Jim asked.
"Even if Toby did give the Quagawumps the same song again," Claire agreed, with a grin.
"Hey! I'll have you know Shake The Room is a classic," Toby defended himself.
Smiling, Douxie raised eyebrows. "'Shake The Room'?" the musician asked.
"Boom, Boom, Shake The Room," most of the party chorused, Jim swinging Claire into a spin and dipping her. "Say Whaaaaat?"
Douxie burst out laughing; Barbara joined him. "That's one for the annals," Douxie giggled.
"Perhaps I should recite 'The Rose of Ambrosius'," Archie commented dryly.
Douxie suddenly froze, his expression of hilarity changing to one of horror. "Don't you dare!"
Smirking, Archie made his way over to NotEnrique, head tilted to one side as he examined the crown the changeling wore. "So that's the Killstone."
"Yeah, an' it's mine, so paws off," the changeling retorted.
"You keep the crown, and we'll trade you other gems for the emerald," Archie bargained.
"Yeah. More of them, even," said Toby.
NotEnrique eyed him suspiciously. "How many more?"
"To the treasury!" Blinky crowed, and led their party to the underground arena. Barbara couldn't see or feel them, but Douxie had assured her he'd added wards to that room as well. Since the last time she'd been there, a couple more shelves had been dug into the wall. One, higher up, was smaller and had a sheet of notebook paper pinned next to it, reading "Cursed Items - D&A Only." A larger, lower shelf held roughly a backpack's worth of gold and gems. It was there that Blinky went now. He fished out a pair of emeralds the size of hen's eggs and a ruby. "Would this suffice?" he asked NotEnrique.
The small green troll eyed them, then the crown. "One more ruby, an' ten of those doubloons," he bargained.
"Another ruby, and five doubloons," said Draal.
"Deal," said NotEnrique, and handed the crown over. Draal passed it to Douxie as Blinky gave NotEnrique his payment. For his part, the wizard held the crown in one hand and made a grabbing, pulling gesture with the other. Blue light surrounding it, the emerald separated easily from its setting, and drifted into Douxie's hand. He gave the crown back to NotEnrique, who held it covetously close with the rest of his treasure, and the gemstone to Blinky.
"Two stones down," said Jim, "one to go."
Author's Note: *whistles innocently* I know what that book is, even if Douxie et al don't. Also, the thought of Ash Dispersal Pattern doing a cover of "Let It Go" amuses me vastly. Too bad Archie (and probably Zoe) do not agree.