Your Future Hasn't Been Written Yet
by K. Stonham
first released 23rd October 2021
"Ahhh, it does feel good to be back home!" Blinky celebrated, relishing the camaraderie to be found in Trollmarket's pub.
"Missed it," agreed Aaarrrgghh, tapping his mug against Blinky's.
"Yes. Not that Barbara was not a gracious host, and her basement a most suitable dwelling. But there truly is no feeling like one's own familiar surroundings. And," Blinky added, "I have plans, my friend, regarding the library. Reorganization is the name of the game!"
Aaarrrgghh let him ramble on about his plans for a bit, never seeming to lose interest, until something else caught the Krubera's eye.
Blinky turned, and saw a pair of familiar faces. "Ah, Draal! Nomura!" he called, waving. "Please join us."
Draal murmured something to the changeling, then left her side to get, presumably, drinks and nibbles. The magenta troll made her way across the space between them, weaving around various levels of drunkenness, until she finally took a seat by Blinky's side. "Is it always this loud?"
"Pub happy place," said Aaarrrgghh. "Yes."
"I will bear that in mind."
"I take it Draal is showing you around Trollmarket?" Blinky asked her. "May I ask your impressions?"
"It's like any other crowded village in the world," she replied. "If a bit more colorful than some."
"Ah, yes, we are rather fond of the neon signage, aren't we?" Blinky asked. "Light to combat the darkness, after all."
Draal arrived, bearing two mugs and a platter. He set them on the table, gesturing for Blinky and Aaarrrgghh to help themselves. Blinky declined; Aaarrrgghh took a silicon wafer.
For some time, they talked of things of more or less consequence. Nomura was on her guard almost the entire time, wary not of the three of them, but of the other denizens of Trollmarket.
For their part, the other trolls took almost no notice of her, save for one or two who came up and asked for an introduction to the newcomer.
It was more than an hour later, by the way humans reckoned things, that Nomura finally started to relax and pay the other trolls no mind.
And it was also then that she stiffened, eyes wide, whipping her head around. "Who said that?" she demanded.
"Said what?" asked Draal.
"My name." Nomura stood, obviously distressed. "Who's saying my name- she's saying it-" Her hands clenched her head. "Get out of my mind," she commanded.
"Who?" Draal had stood also. His hand touched her arm.
"It's her," Nomura snarled, finally gathering the attention she had been obviously seeking to avoid. "The Pale Lady."
Blinky's eyes widened. "Morgana," he said. "Nomura, where is she?"
"I don't know! She's..." Emerald eyes looked around. "She's here," the changeling snarled. "She's here in Trollmarket! This whole time." Fury took over her expression. "I'll gut her, that-" Her words were lost as she sprinted from the tavern.
Draal took after her, then Aaarrrgghh, with Blinky running after. "We'll be back to settle our tab later!" he called to the barkeep, following in the footsteps of the warriors.
He could practically follow Nomura by the string of curses that trailed behind her, not to mention the surprised looks on the faces of bystander trolls as their party wended deeper into Trollmarket, finally arriving at the great crystal itself.
"She's here," Nomura repeated herself, looking around wildly. Finally her gaze caught on the entrance to one of the sacred caverns that the heartstone contained. "There!" She sprang down a level, leaving the rest of them to follow her.
"Thank you," Blinky told Aaarrrgghh as his friend swung him down to the lower level, then followed himself.
Inside the cavern, Nomura stared at the stalactite hanging from the ceiling. "Shut up," she growled at it. "Shut up and get out of my head, you bitch!" She drew her swords and seemed on the verge of hurling them at the crystal.
"Stop." Draal put his hands on Nomura's arms. "She is in there?"
A furious nod.
"We must not free her now," he said.
Nomura snarled at him.
"Not yet," he told her firmly. "We must have a plan. If she is freed now, it could be disastrous."
"Now we know where she is," Aaarrrgghh said.
"Indeed," Blinky breathed, staring at the hidden location of their enemy. His fascination was broken by Nomura's low growling. "Draal, get her away from here!" he ordered. "Back to the surface. Perhaps distance will ease this connection."
Draal nodded, and hauled Nomura over his shoulder. Her teeth were still bared, but she went limp. Blinky could hear her harsh breathing as the blue troll took her from the room.
He took a picture of the crystal on his phone. "We must tell Vendel," he said, typing furiously in the group chat. "And Nomura, or indeed any changeling, must stay out of Trollmarket until Morgana is dealt with. It seems they are vulnerable to her."
When they were nearly back to the museum's parking lot, Nomura finally relaxed. "You can put me down now," she told Draal.
He paused. "You're sure?"
"Yes," she said, resisting the temptation to call him an idiot and stab him. It wasn't like his... hesitation (she would not label it "concern") was unwarranted.
He set her back down on the ground and stepped back, watching her. "She's gone," Nomura said. "I can't hear her anymore."
"Morgana Le Fay is not to be underestimated," Draal said softly.
"I know that!" Nomura snapped. "I'm not a fool."
"No," he agreed. Apologized? "You never have been."
She didn't know what to say to that.
"Tell Stricklander what happened," Draal suggested. "The Trollhunters have plans for dealing with your Pale Lady, and he may be able to help refine them."
Nomura nodded shortly.
"Good evening, my lady," Draal said, and turned to go, fading into the shadows with an ease one would not expect from such a solid form.
Nomura breathed deeply and shifted back into the form of a human.
It wasn't until she was back at her car, keys in the lock, that she realized part of what he'd said. "Trollhunters?" she asked, whirling and staring wide-eyed into the darkness.
His bed was warm, his pillow was deep, and Hisirdoux was happily deep asleep.
At least until something unyielding prodded him in the side. He groaned and pulled the pillow over his head without opening his eyes. "Five more minutes, Arch..."
"Get up," an all-too-familiar voice told him.
"Noooo~" he whined.
And was completely unsurprised when the pillow was snatched away and the face of his master was above him, glaring down at Douxie's happy sleep, ruining his dreams forever. "Get up, Hisirdoux," Merlin said. "It is well past dawn, and therefore well past time for you to get out of bed and do something useful with yourself."
Douxie groaned and reluctantly obeyed, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I thought I'd left this behind in Camelot," he muttered.
"Yes, and we have much to discuss about that," Merlin told him.
"Fine, I'll meet you downstairs," Douxie said. When Merlin didn't budge, he glared. "Well?"
"Why on Earth should I leave you alone? You'll just go back to sleep."
"I will not," Douxie retorted. "Let me get dressed in peace."
Merlin's gaze raked up and down the worn long-sleeved raglan shirt and sleep pants Douxie wore to bed. "I see little difference between this and your usual slovenly attire."
"These," Douxie shot back, "are pajamas. They're a thing now! I wouldn't be caught dead wearing this in public. Now go away! I'm not getting dressed in front of you."
Merlin grumbled but ultimately about-faced and left the room.
"Yes," murmured Archie dryly, "wouldn't want him to see your ink or scars, after all."
"Shut it," Douxie said affectionately. "They're my business, not his."
"You realize that attitude's going to bite you eventually, don't you?" asked Archie as Douxie shucked his pajamas. He had absolutely no modesty in front of his familiar. He just didn't want to deal with the lectures that would inevitably come from Merlin.
"Probably," Hisirdoux replied, pulling on proper clothing. Which, he didn't care what Merlin had to say, was comfortable. "But that day," he said, grinning, "is not today, and therefore is a problem for future me."
"That sounds all too familiar," Archie replied as Douxie ran a quick brush through his hair and deemed himself suitable for presentation.
He left his room, noted Barbara's door was closed (a late night at the hospital again, if he remembered her schedule correctly), and rattled quietly down the stairs, ending up in the kitchen in search of a quick breakfast before he was dragged off or grilled or whatever his master wanted of him at the ungodly hour of 9:30am on his day off.
Merlin was stood in front of the refrigerator, opening and shutting the door with a frown on his face. "How do you know the light goes out when you close the door?" he complained.
Douxie rolled his eyes and reached in, pressing the light switch. The light shut off. "The door presses the button, Master." He released it and fished out a carton of juice and a jar of jam.
"Fascinating," Merlin said, shutting the door again and opening it once more as Hisirdoux put a piece of bread in the toaster then, with a glance at Archie, who nodded, added a second one and pressed down the lever.
"So what's the plans for today, Master?" asked Douxie, resisting the urge to hop up and sit on the counter. Jim had told him once that the counter was for food prep, not people's butts, and he was trying to be respectful of the kitchen as Jim's domain. (Even if Archie didn't have the same prohibition guiding his actions... or maybe he did, and he just ignored it because things were different for dragons and cats than for humans.)
"I will shortly be leaving-" Merlin began.
"What?" Douxie yelped. "But you just got here-"
"As I was saying, Hisirdoux," Merlin said with a glare, "I will be leaving to check on Camelot, make preparations for future battles, and do my own research on what is likely to occur."
"Your scrying stone," said Archie.
"Yes, it should still be in my study," Merlin granted, nodding at the dragon. "Assuming no one has touched it in my absence."
"If anyone has, take it up with Sir Galahad," Douxie told him. "I haven't been to the castle since before it launched."
Merlin humphed at that. "We'll see if the old fool is even more doddering than he was nine centuries ago," he said.
"Look who's calling who an old fool," Archie muttered. Merlin shot him a look, but as he didn't actually have any jurisdiction over the dragon, obviously chose not to rise to the bait.
"Regardless," Merlin said, "that leaves us much to review. I would like to see the many bad habits you've doubtless picked up over the centuries, and start working to correct them."
Hisirdoux went very still for a long moment. Then, "No," he said.
"No?" the master wizard demanded.
"No," Hisirdoux repeated. "I realize I don't have my staff right now, but you made me a master wizard exactly the way I am, without quibbles or corrections."
Merlin glared.
"I am littered," Hisirdoux said, "with nine centuries of experience and magics you probably won't approve of. But they're mine, bad choices and all, and I stand by what made me the wizard I am today."
"You have so little respect for your master?" Merlin demanded.
"Everything you taught me is part of who I am," Hisirdoux told him, "and I will remain ever grateful for everything you've done for me. But if you expect your teachings to be a, a ceiling instead of a floor, then I'm afraid I have to question what kind of wizard you are, Master."
"Hisirdoux-"
"I will never be your equal," Hisirdoux told his master, "but I can be my own wizard and do things my own way, without it being wrong."
"That's what Morgana thought!" snapped Merlin.
"I know!" Hisirdoux snapped back. "I know what she did, and what she might yet do. But is it so difficult to believe that I can go a different path than you, and still not do what she's done? Or even that she can be redeemed?"
Merlin was stone-faced and silent.
"You told me, in that other future, that you had seen a glimmer of greatness in me," Hisirdoux pleaded. "Will you not even let me try to do things my own way?"
Merlin shook his head, eyes sad but expression resolute.
He grew desperate. "What will it take for you to understand that yours isn't the only way, Master? Arthur murdering you again?"
"I have only your word for that."
"Is my word not good enough?" demanded Hisirdoux. "When have I ever given you reason not to trust me?"
"It's not you I don't trust, Hisirdoux," said Merlin, looking old and weary, the weight of the world on his shoulders. "It's the world. You burn so brightly, and sooner or later, that idealism will burn out. And I do not wish to see what apocalypse you will wreak when you, like Morgana, come to see the world as your enemy."
"I won't," Hisirdoux said. "I would sooner die-"
"Yes," said Merlin, turning from him. "Morgana said that once, too."
Hisirdoux was silent for a moment. Then, "So you can't trust me outside the rigid confines of being exactly like you."
Merlin was silent, too, for a moment. "No," he said eventually.
"I'm sorry, Master."
"As am I, Hisirdoux."
"Then what will you do, Master? What would you have me do, if you cannot trust me? Will you seal me away, like her, just for what I might do?"
"I am as yet undecided," Merlin sniffed. "I will go to Camelot, consult the scrying stone, and see if I can find a way out of this mess you've gotten us into. In the meantime, stay here. Do nothing. Await my return."
Archie rolled his eyes. "That sounds familiar."
"Do not test my patience, Archibald," warned Merlin, and left. The door to the basement opened, and shut behind him.
The toast popped.
And Douxie, well aware that he'd screwed things up again, slid down the cabinets in the corner of the kitchen, buried his head in his arms, and stayed that way for a very long time.
Barbara woke five minutes before her alarm, feeling well-rested and ready to tackle the day. Tea first, she thought, shrugging on her robe and finding her slippers. Some breakfast. Maybe take a look at the paper.
Her optimism lasted until she got to the kitchen, saw the juice carton sitting on the counter, the teenager curled into the corner, and the dragon pressed up hard against him.
"...Douxie?" she asked, surprised. He didn't even twitch. "Archie?"
"Merlin left," the dragon reported softly. "We don't know when, or if, he'll be back. And he said some... rather harsh things in the process of leaving."
"Fuzz him," came a voice from the huddled lump of teenager.
"Language," scolded Archie. "Though I do agree with the sentiment."
Barbara's gaze caught on the two pieces of toast sitting forlorn in the toaster. "And he did this before you had breakfast," she surmised, "so your blood sugar's in the basement, making it seem even worse."
Douxie shrugged.
"Come on." Barbara pulled at his arm. There was resistance, but only token, before Douxie followed her lead and uncurled. "You sit at the table, I'll do breakfast," she told him. "I can manage toast and cereal."
Twenty minutes later, they were all eating when Douxie finally spoke up again. "I just don't understand," he said, eyes fixed on the table, "why all of a sudden he wanted to pick apart everything I've done over the last nine centuries, and change what he decided I was doing wrong. Yesterday he was fine with treating me as, well, an almost-peer. And today suddenly nothing I'd done was right."
"Especially not standing up for yourself," Archie agreed.
Barbara shook her head. "If Merlin chooses not to trust you because you stood up for yourself, that's on him, not on you. Maybe he thinks that because you're nineteen, you're still liable to change, and that got him scared."
Hazel eyes met hers. "I'm never going to be older than nineteen," Douxie said. "That's the point of immortality. I've walked this world for nine hundred years and seen all the wickedness it can contain, but he still thinks it'll break me? He was napping while I got drafted into both World Wars. I doubt he's seen half the horrors I have."
Barbara stared for a minute. She'd known Douxie was that old, but hadn't really put together... "Both wars?"
He nodded, gaze drifting back down to his hands. "And a few others. I'm the right age." Douxie shrugged. "I managed to keep some people alive who probably would've died otherwise, but... it's not something I like to talk about."
She thought of her father, of Nancy. "I can imagine why not."
Douxie was silent for a minute, then his hands curled into fists. "If Merlin won't help us," he said, looking back up, "then we're no worse off than we were before. And if he doesn't approve of the way I do things, then that's his loss."
"Hear, hear," said Archie.
And Barbara couldn't help but smile, thinking That's my boy.
Jim blinked at the text that came in during lunch.
I may have cost us Merlin, Douxie said.
"Um," said Jim. He tilted his phone. "Tobes, Claire, have you checked your messages?"
Even as they both shook their heads and pulled out their own phones, his buzzed again.
Apparently I'm something to take exception to, the way I am? I'm sorry. It looks like Morgana may have to go back on the back burner. Just when we've located her.
"What the heck went down this morning?" Toby asked.
"I... do not know," Jim said, staring at his phone, trying to think of something to text back.
"Well," said Claire, "I do know one thing."
They both looked expectantly at her.
"If we're only going to have one wizard on our team, I would a million times rather have Douxie than Merlin."
"Amen to that, sister," said Toby, fist-bumping Claire.
"Agreed," said Jim, even as he felt worry gnawing at him - there were things Douxie had flat-out said he didn't have the power to do yet, that Merlin did.
They might really be screwed.
Still, Claire was right.
As per Claire and Tobes, he typed, we'd a million times rather have you.
Author's Note: Douxie being happily asleep riffs from Dr. Seuss's I Am Not Going To Get Up Today.