Hello! i'm but you can also call me Ain (get it? Like the A in aspire and then the In in inspire? Hehe sorry you gotta deal with my awful jokes-). I wanted to write a fanfiction for one of my favorite books, Divergent as i wasn't completely satisfied with Allegiant.
This book is compatible with Divergent, and part of Insurgent, and part of the Four stories. However, my story begins at the end of chapter 25 in Insurgent, after they return to the Dauntless compound.
The cover is designed by me, so please do not trace or steal!
Please do not steal any of my original fanfiction writing either, thank you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent, and all credits go to Veronica Roth for the original storyline. Without Divergent, I think i wouldn't be as interested in reading as I am today!
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy my fanfiction, and i hope to see your reviews! Thank you so much, and if you enjoy, please share with your friends, it helps me so much :))
PS. I upload about every Sunday and Wednsday, so check back then!
Chapter 1 - Alarm
Tris POV
By the time the fight dies down, my clothes are more paint-colored than black. I decide to keep the shirt to remind me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free.
That night, I am in front of Tobias's apartment. Everything has changed; but some things have not, and that includes his apartment. It is still the same spare apartment, with the words Fear God Alone spray painted onto his wall above his bed. I wonder how he did it.
He sits at the bare table, thinking deeply to himself and I am on his bed. Strategizing about what to do next. But I'm not thinking about the war; I am thinking about him, and how worried he looks, and how at this moment while I can see him with his instructor walls down, how much I love him and want him. Sometimes I want to just let someone else save the day, and I can stay here, safe, with him, but that was impossible. It feels like the world is on my shoulders, and guilt is also piling onto me.
"What are we going to do?" Tobias sighs and I look up at the ceiling. "We can't hide here forever. Jeanine is going to find us eventually, and a lot of the fighting Dauntless are traitors." he says, and I absentmindedly trace circles on my other hand. The fun and adrenaline from our paintball fight was gone, replaced by exhaustion. I am more worried about Tobias though. Dark circles were underneath his eyes everyday and I was concerned about his emotions, now that his dad is who knows where and his mom might be allying with Dauntless.
"We don't have any option. We need to figure out what to do and fast, otherwise we're going to get arrested. We're already on Jeanine's hit list, because she knows you're the one who stopped the simulation." Tobias turns around in his chair and looks at me. To be honest, I also didn't know what to do. And I hated to admit that.
"Jack Kang is not going to be happy that we left." I say. "Without us he can't fulfill the terms that Jeanine set. That means we've got Candor and Erudite out for us."
He nods thoughtfully and i catch myself thinking about his eyes. they're a beautiful gray blue, and right now they're full of thoughtfulness.
"We also need to think of who's available right now to fight." I add, cursing myself inwardly. I was being so selfish right now; how could I think of fighting back when Shauna is paralyzed and Zeke won't leave her side, meaning Uriah won't leave Zeke's side and Lynn probably won't either. Further add that Christina hates me, though she came with us back to Dauntless compound, Cara also hates me for shooting her brother, and we've basically got no one. I was being selfish; thinking only of my own revenge when i should be thinking about how Shauna is injured and her life is on the line.
He tilts his head. "Zeke and Shauna and Lynn and Uriah probably won't." he states, reading my mind. "Uriah might. he's also pretty flexible, considering he's Divergent. and then most of the Dauntless, and then..." he trails off, looking at me.
"Tris. Are you okay?"
I was staring at the ground and I had tuned out of most of what he said. I was still thinking about fighting, and shooting, and guns, and I couldn't breathe, because I can still hear my nightmares creeping into my thoughts, of guns and blood and-
"Tris." Tobias says softly and I realize he is crouching in front of me, holding my hands. Too bad I can't feel my hands. I feel numb.
"Mhm." I hate this feeling. Of being weak.
"We're going to need to avoid Candor and Erudite, and they already know we're here. It won't be long until they try to force a attack on us. We have to be ready."
I nod, trying to remember what nodding was. "We need to strategize. Can you call a meeting for all of Dauntless and we can decide what to do there?"
Tobias rises. "I can do that. And Tris?" I'm staring down at my lap, and I see his hand resting on my knee. "Please don't do anything okay? Please don't make reckless decisions." I think he knows about what happened at Candor. The chair I tossed out the window as i contemplated suicide, before lowering myself back to the ground. But that doesn't mean I've let go of my thoughts.
I glare at him. "You think I'm going to do something reckless and stupid? I'm not a stupid four year old."
Tobias sighs, and his eyes move towards the ceiling. "Promise me that you won't do anything that's dangerous. And promise me that you're not going to do anything without discussing it with me first, okay?"
Now it's my turn to look at the ceiling. My parents are dead, Will is dead, so many Dauntless are dead, Abnegation are dead, just because i was not fast enough, I was not clearheaded enough, and I was not smart nor brave enough. Their deaths are because of me, and the guilt was swallowing me and choking me. I can't sit here and do nothing while Jeanine is still out there, war is still happening, people are dying because we're sitting here discussing things like this is a calm meeting, not that we're discussing a war that is happening. I can't keep that promise, and I can't lie to him either.
"Okay. I'll try." I whisper quietly.
"Don't try. Promise me." He urges, and i finally meet his desperate blue eyes. They are clear and beautiful.
I let out a breath shakily. "Okay, I promise."
He searches my expression and i try not to let my conflicting emotions show. Finally he steps closer and kisses me, and I feel his soft lips on mine, and his hands fitting into my back, pressing me closer. The energy spreads throughout my body and i feel warm again. I feel the energy coursing through me and I feel alive. I kiss him back.
But I am the one who pulls back, because the energy is dulled by my guilt of lying, hoping he does not feel my lips tremble.
The next day I wake up to the sound of the shower running, and water trickling. Tobias is not in the bed, and he isn't next to me. I assume he's in the shower.
I get up slowly, wincing at the pain tearing through my shoulder. It wasn't that bad though; I was used to pain. But if I ever wanted to actually live through this, I needed to let it heal.
Suddenly the shower stops and a few moments later the bathroom door opens. Tobias looks at me, showered and dressed, and I look right back, trying not to think about the hunger in my stomach.
"Morning." he says, and hands me a stack of clean clothes as he comes closer. I smell his clean soap and fight the urge to kiss him. "How's your shoulder?" he adds. He's on edge and I can tell; his posture is rigid and his mind is clearly travelling.
I shrug a halfhearted shrug and instantly regret it as the pain tears through me again. "As good as it can be right now."
He stares at me for a half second before nodding, trying to reassure himself that my shoulder is fine before handing me my pain medicine. I take it eagerly. "Thank you." I whisper.
He gives me a smile before starting to move around the room, cleaning and putting everything away. I realize I have to get changed at some point, so I finally get off the bed - the pain medicine is setting in - and head to the bathroom to shower and change.
I turn on the water and get in, feeling the burning water surge down my back and rinse off the dust and dirt and sweat. The water burns my back, but I welcome the pain. I relish it and feel it burn everything away.
All too soon I've used up all the hot water and scrubbed all the dirt away, so I get out and put on the clothes that Tobias had given me. I stare at myself in the mirror, and a thought is pushing in the back of my head but I refuse to acknowledge it.
I've changed. My parents wouldn't recognize me if they saw me now.
The thought is terrifying, but I don't look the same. My hair is cut short, my eyes are always bloodshot, and I have scars all over my body from bullet wounds to mental trauma. I don't recognize myself in the mirror. I don't recognize the girl with the serious face and looks like she's been through a millennia of suffering.
I turn away from the mirror. I can't stand looking at myself any longer. I leave the bathroom and flick the lights off.
Tobias is waiting for me, lazily flipping through the pages of a document. I sit down next to him.
"How are you Tris?" he asks without looking up.
I tilt my head. "I don't have a bullet in me do I? So I'm fine." I mimick my words from earlier. "How are you Tobias?"
"I don't have a bullet in me do I? So I'm good." He copies my words and turns to me, and I notice his dark bags under his eyes again, but instead of acknowledging them I stand up. "Ready to go?"
He nods and we exit his apartment. It's occurring to me now that I probably shouldn't have stayed at his apartment, because it would've been safer for me to stay in the old dormitories, where they can monitor us to keep us safe, but I can't really bring myself to care.
We walk down to the cafeteria for lunch, and once again I can feel my stomach clawing from hunger. I realize I haven't eaten for nearly 48 hours. I was so exhausted yesterday I didn't even go down for dinner.
Dauntless members are laughing and running through the Pit, still high on energy from our paintball fight last night. I smile, remembering the events.
"I called the meeting you asked for." he says quietly and I look up at him, remembering what I asked for last night.
"Did they agree?"
He gives me a halfhearted shrug. "I mean, they really can't deny a meeting but they also aren't too happy about it, especially Tori. She wants to go charging into Erudite and stab Jeanine in the neck." he imitates a slashing motion across his neck.
I keep my voice down, trying not to get overheard. "What time? And date?" I push.
"Tomorrow at two. All Dauntless are required to show up. In the mean time, today, you and me are going to be perfecting and training and hand select group for a diversion."
I feel my eyebrows raise. "A diversion?"
He nods. "I think Tori already has a plan, and I hate to admit it, but I think it's a good one. But we have to choose seven Dauntless members for a small select group for a mission, a diversion, and that's all I can say. I think it would be a good idea for you to choose."
"Uriah for sure. And Lauren." I say, remembering the other Dauntless-born instructor from initiation. "Marlene." I add. "That's five. we need two more."
He scratches his chin. "I hate to say this, but I think we should include Christina and Cara."
I stare at the ground. I know he's right. "But Cara can't fight, and Christina hates me." I say, making a halfhearted attempt.
He shrugs. "Cara is smart and she knows Erudite well which can come in handy. Christina, while she hates you, she still supports the Dauntless. Besides, can you think of anyone else willing to go?"
"Fine. Tell Tori that's our final group." I sigh.
He nods and we go silent, and I fight the urge to grab his hand. I want to be that girl on the chasm again, kissing him for the first time and feeling that rush of freedom. At the same time, we are not the same people anymore, and the secrets I kept about Will, him shooting Eric, and everything else between has driven a wedge between us. And I hate it.
But before I can decide for myself what I want, Tobias reaches for my hand and twines our fingers together, sending energy through me; we are not a couple that touches and kisses each other for fun; every touch and kiss sends energy through us and strengthens us, and with that touch, I get enough courage to open the door and we enter the cafeteria.
As soon as we enter, the cafeteria goes dead silent. I am surprised that I can't even hear the sound of a fork clinking on a plate.
Beside me, Tobias goes rigid. Despite the Candor interrogation that left most of Candor knowing Tobias's true identity, most Dauntless didn't arrive at the Candor compound until after we had our interrogation. Meaning most of Dauntless still doesn't know Tobias's name. I'm wondering why the cafeteria is so silent when Uriah rushes up to us.
"Hey Four, hey Tris." he says quickly. "Come on, come over here, will ya?"
We exchange looks and follow him over to the round table that i used to sit at during initiation, where Christina, Cara, Lauren, Uriah, Zeke, Hector, Shauna, Marlene, Lynn, and Harrison are all sitting. "Sorry about that. Everyone's a bit on edge now that they know you're Divergent." Uriah mumbles to me discreetly as he passes me a plate full of food.
I'm confused. "How do people know?"
He shrugs. "Rumors, but some know from the interrogation."
Tobias glances over at me, his face unreadable, his instructor Four face back on. All around us, the murmurs and conversations slowly start again. Beside me, Tobias is quiet, and on the other side of me, Marlene and Uriah are chatting away, Lynn staring at her plate. I don't think I ever really realized their chemistry. I turn over to Tobias, trying to think of something to say.
But he is staring straight ahead, almost like he's anticipating something. I'm on edge. Something is not right. But Tobias would tell me if something were happening. We promised each other we would tell each other everything.
"What's wrong?" I whisper. There's something wrong. I can feel it, and Tobias knows I'm too perceptive to miss when he's tense like this.
He gives me a look and holds my hand tighter.
Approximately three seconds later, I figure out what is going on as a alarm goes off.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry about the lack of action, and the cliffhanger, I'm trying to build up the momentum, but something is going to happen very soon, just you wait and see! :))
If you have any suggestions for me on improving my writing, I'm open to criticism! I'm always looking to improve my writing!
If you liked this, please review and continue reading; there's a lot of action coming soon, I promise. I love it when you review, so please do! Thank you for checking my story out!
- Ain
