Chapter 1
Captain John "Johnny" Clements stood before the mirror in his dress uniform trying desperately to look much older than seventeen. The youngest fully commission officer in recent U.S. history and a child prodigy genius was now an Army surgical doctor and about to be sent out for his very first surgical assignment in the MASH 4077th. He was a mere boy and he knew it. He could barely shave. He sported a thin fuzzy light brown mustache and bright blue eyes and light brown hair. He looked like a teenage boy, he felt like a teenage boy and he certainly was a teenage boy who was blessed or cursed, depending on the day, with a phenomenal intelligence that gained him entrance into college at the age of eight years old.
He sucked in his breath and tried to push out his shoulders and tilt his hairless chain down. He turned in the mirror and finally gave an exhale as he puffed his cheeks. "Hopeless." he deemed. "I'm going to a MASH unit looking like an orderly and not a doctor. This is hopeless."
He gathered his visor cap and his duffle bag filled with his collection of comic books and headed for the door knowing his driver and jeep was waiting just outside.
MASH 4077
Colonel Sherman Potter called a meeting with his senior staff in his office. Upon his desk lay the file for the newest doctor to be sent out to the 4077th. He looked upon the faces of his audience: Majors Houlihan and Winchester. Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt and Father Mulcahy were all present. He stated, "We have a new doctor coming to work with us. A Captain John Clements."
B.J. Hunnicutt welcomed the news. "We can always use a hand."
Hawkeye Pierce asked suspiciously, "And? You don't normally call a meeting just for a new doctor."
"Captain Clements is only seventeen years old." he confessed.
Margaret gasped, "Seventeen!"
Charles Winchester the Third blinked in surprise. "He's a child."
Potter soothed, "Now just hold your horses." He held up a hand. "He's been working as a doctor since the age of fourteen. Has completed his residency in Ann Arbor Hospital and has a number of PhD's. He's a very special young man. He graduated high school at the age of eight. One of the youngest every accepted into college. Attended Harvard and MIT. He's a child prodigy genius."
The officers all traded glances.
BJ asked, "Why is he coming to the MASH 4077th?"
"Army recruited him. He agreed to join with his parents blessing to avoid the draft. He will be eighteen in six months and at that point eligible for the draft." Potter explained. "I will be placing him in the swamp with the other doctors."
The Father spoke up, "Sir! There is a still in the swamp and he's just a boy."
"Where should I place him then, Padre?" Potter asked.
"You can place him in my tent." he offered. "I can keep an eye on him. So, young."
Hawkeye took offense. "What? You think me and Beege will be a bad influence on the kid? He can stay in the swamp. We won't teach him anything bad."
Charles stated, "If he were to be placed in the swamp it will be under my watchful eye. A child prodigy genius is not someone to be subjected to the buffoonery of you two." he warned.
BJ then took offense. "I'm a father! I know how to handle kids. He can stay with us. You don't need to shelter him from us. We're not the enemy here."
Margaret confessed, "I am worried for the boy. So…young. A surgeon? Can he handle this?"
Sherman confessed, "We are his first assignment as a surgeon in the army. He is coming from Tokyo. Was working an office job there. So, you three," he pointed to Hawkeye, BJ and Charles, "I expect you all to be on your best behavior."
Hawkeye asked, "Do we have to baby sit him?"
Charles huffed, "Just don't give him any booze, Pierce."
BJ soothed, "I'm sure he will be fine with us in the swamp. We can be like his uncles to him." he suggested.
Margaret shook her head, "Like that's reassuring."
BJ insisted, "We can watch out for him. Kid genius! We can handle this."
Later
The jeep pulled into camp. Johnny sat in the passenger's side and had chatted with the young enlisted man who drove him. They spoke of rock and roll and comic books. He got along well with the corporal as they were close to the same age.
Johnny climbed out of the vehicle. He smiled, "See ya around, Pete. I will keep an eye out for the next edition of Superman."
"Thanks Johnny." the young man grinned. "Good luck, doc." He waved and then drove away after Johnny gathered his duffle bag. He was about to head to H.Q. and check in when he found he had gathered an audience around him.
Colonel Potter and the officers all had a watchful eye out for the jeep and all scrambled to greet the young doctor. The Colonel greeted, "Captain Clements."
He came to attention, "Captain John Clements reporting for duty, sir."
"At ease son." the Colonel replied.
Johnny relaxed his stance.
BJ introduced himself first, "I'm Captain Hunnicutt. Nice to meet you, John." He offered a hand shake.
"It's Johnny," he replied shaking his hand.
Hawkeye then butted in, "Captain Benjamin Franklin Peirce. Hawkeye. After Last of the Mohicans."
"James Fenimore Cooper. Published February 4th, 1928. Excellent read." he greeted Hawkeye with a handshake.
Margaret spied his youthful fresh face and her material instincts immediately kicked in. She saw a boy that Hawkeye could easily corrupt with women and booze. She butted in, "I'm Major Margaret Houlihan. Head Nurse. It's nice to meet you, Doctor." She too offered a handshake.
Johnny's bright blue eyes landed on the angelic face of the head nurse and he instantly was taken in by her beauty.
Hawkeye added, "We call her 'hot lips'."
"Shove it Pierce." she barked.
The banter made Johnny like Margaret even more. She was pretty and spunky. Everything a seventeen year old boy would find attractive.
Charles then greeted the young doctor. "Major Charles Emerson Winchester the Third." He offered a handshake as well.
Johnny shook his hand with a large grin. "Your family provided the scholarship that I went to college on." He shook his hand grateful. "Thank you, sir."
Charles beamed, "You are quite welcome, my boy. My father oversees the scholarship program. I'm pleased you became a doctor."
"I became an archeologist on the scholarship from your father." he told him. "I went to medical school on a Ann Harbor scholarship. Your family got me into Harvard."
Charles asked, "How many degrees do you have, my boy?"
He replied frankly, "Six total. Four PhD's, a medical degree and a masters in astronomy."
"Fascinating." Charles saw opportunity in the mind of the young man before him.
The Company Father then broke in. "I'm Father Mulcahy. If you need anything, just ask, Johnny."
"Thank you, Father." he smiled pleasantly. "I always found religion fascinating and ancient mythology. I have a theory I am working on for the origins of modern religion." he beamed proud.
The father laughed a bit to himself. "What's your theory, son?"
"Aliens!" the boy proclaimed. "Ancient aliens visited Earth and that influenced the ancient mythology and that trickled down to modern religion."
The group paused for the theory was so outlandish it was laughable.
Johnny winced as he realized by the expressions that the officers did not agree. He quickly recovered, "It's joke. You know. A joke."
The group broke out laughing.
The Father jested, "A joke! The boy has a sense of humor." He patted Johnny's shoulders.
BJ cheered, "That's good. You will need a sense of humor here. Had us going with the aliens, son." He too patted his shoulder like an uncle.
Johnny stood embarrassed by his own theory. He found other boys who were into comic books were more apt to embrace the theory as Superman was an alien from another planet. He felt awkwardly out of place.
Hawkeye smirked, "I kind of like your theory, kid. Makes more sense to me than God letting us kill each other."
Johnny asked, "You do? You read comic books, Captain?"
He nodded, "Gasoline Alley. And you, kid?"
"Superman." he stated. "Gasoline Alley and Blondie."
Charles was appalled. "Comic books! You are a child prodigy genius. You should be engaged in classical music. Not…comic books."
Hawkeye came to Johnny's defense. "He's seventeen. What seventeen year old wants to bore themselves with classical music?"
Johnny stated, "I am classically trained. I do know music."
Charles beamed, "Good!" He saw must potential in the prodigy before him.
Potter stated, "You will be staying with the other doctor's in the swamp, son. I'm sure the three stooges here can show you to your tent." He looked at the three doctors.
Johnny laughed, "I'm a huge fan of the Three Stooges. Comic genius."
Charles rolled his eyes as he hated the Three Stooges.
Hawkeye placed an arm around the boy's shoulders as BJ picked up the duffle bag. He cheered, "This way my young apprentice. Comic genius is my specialty."
Charles grumbled, "Pierce is going to ruin that boy."
