A.N. My first ever J7 fanfic. I am in a completely different territory from what I normally write, and I am still trying to get a "feel" for these characters…so bear with me. J7 has been my OTP for years, I just never thought to write anything.

Also…I'm taking some liberties with Seven's cortical node…at least for a moment. ;)

*Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager nor any Merriam Websters Definitions I may use.


Self-Control

Barren blackness and shimmering stars. That's what she watched pass the view screen from the Captain's chair for the last two hours. After two weeks of nothing but this empty stretch of space, it was safe to say that everyone, even the Captain was beginning to succumb to boredom. At one point during the uneventful duty shift she had even caught herself examining her nails and picking out the occasional bit of grime.

"Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway."

Her shoulders jumped at Seven of Nine's robust voice announcing throughout the bridge. She glanced around hearing shocked gasps and clearing throats of equally startled crew members disrupted from their nodding off.

"Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway."

She tapped her combadge. "Go ahead Seven."

"Please report to Astrometrics."

'God not again Seven.' She closed her eyes and sighed but welcomed the distraction.

"Busy Day?"

At Chakotay's voice, Janeway looked over and smirked, cocking an amused eyebrow to her first officer. They shared a knowing look at Seven's lack of respect for the command structure. Two years on Voyager and Seven still refused to accept certain aspects of rank; one unspoken rule being: Don't demand anything of the Captain.

Turning to the viewscreen, Janeway stared losing herself in thought.

"What do you think it is now?"

Chakotay must've caught her hesitance to move from her chair, something irregular of the always-ready Captain.

"This is the third time she's called you off the bridge to various parts of the ship."

Janeway stiffened her resolve. "You know Seven never stops…perfecting whatever she can on this ship. This down time has given her an opportunity to assimilate vast amounts of new data." She glanced to him. "She's been pitching a slew of upgrades to Voyager's systems…non-stop." She shifted in her seat, leaning onto the armrest nearest to him, bringing her face closer to his, in an attempt to keep their conversation quiet. "She's even woken me up in the middle of the night." 'Careful Kathryn'

"Really?"

Janeway nodded.

"Well, better not keep our Borg Queen waiting."

With a smirk Janeway pushed out of her chair and headed to the turbolift. "You have the bridge Commander." She called out, walking up the steps and disappearing behind the turbolift doors all in a brisk flash.

Hearing the *swoosh* of the turbolift out of her sight, B'Elanna, standing at the console behind Chakotay glanced in the direction of out the corner of her eye. "Permission to transfer my work to Engineering Commander."

The Commander turned an ear over his shoulder staying silent for a second. "Granted."

B'Elanna all but ran to the turbolift, hoping there was still a chance to catch up to the Captain before she once again locked herself in a room with the Ex-Borg.

"Deck 8."

Something simmered within her. Curiosity, irritation, anger, confidence, all mashed up into one. Yet, the thought of confronting the Captain made her heart race.

"Hi Captain is there a reason you've been meeting Seven of Nine behind sealed doors? You didn't think Voyager's best engineer wouldn't notice, right?"

Yeah that wouldn't go well. A confrontation like that would most likely earn her the Captain's "Death Glare" … or maybe even a demotion.

BUT HELL! She wasn't going to sit around and let this go on behind her back. For days her work had been delayed as a result of these "meetings", and too many times she'd found herself doing mindless busy work because of a sealed Jefferies tube or door. It wasn't like she didn't have her tricks to unseal a door manually. But, when the computer answered her inquiry with "Command sealed by Captain Janeway" she growled under her breath in response.

If the seal was only Seven of Nine's she would have overridden it without a thought. But the thought of even attempting to override the Captain's seal unnerved her. Although not Klingon, the Captain was a formidable opponent who had long since earned her respect.

*Hiss*

The turbolift doors opened and she walked down the hall, feet slapping the ground, but turning corner she froze at the sight before her. Wrenching her eyes away, she yanked herself to the nearest bulkhead and pressed her back to it. Peeking her head around the corner, she studied the Captain's profile, noticing the exasperated way Janeway rested her hands on her hips, like a winded runner finishing a race.

The Captain stood facing the door to Astrometrics, her head hanging as she mumbled something B'Elanna desperately wished she could hear. Lifting her head and pushing her hair from her face with a hand, the Captain rolled her shoulders back and stepped closer to the door. It swooshed open before her and with a sigh she stepped in.

Furrowing her brow, B'Elanna stepped out of hiding. "What's with the guilty look?" She headed to the door knowing her pace wasn't as fast as she wanted it to be. Something held her back, like the uncertainty of what she'd find behind those doors if she happened to make it before the command seal was placed.

Come to think of it, she didn't even know what she'd say if she happened to find the Ex-Borg and Janeway silently staring at her.

'Hey, just came to check on….' She scoffed and rolled her eyes. 'Yeah right, like I ever make trips to Astrometrics.'

Still, she made it to the door and stepped forward…but nothing happened. "Ugh." She glanced to the door console, it displaying the word "Sealed".

"Computer who sealed this door?"

"Command sealed by Captain Janeway."

"Damn it." B'Elanna pursed her lips.


The Captain's back met the console; Seven's hand gripping the console's top behind her head and the other trailing up the small of her back.

Locked in a heated kiss with the former Borg on top of her, Janeway reached out taking Seven at the waist, pulling the blonde woman between her legs; her heart riling as Seven's thighs brushed against the inside of hers.

These sporadic rendezvous sparked after an innocent late-night meeting in her quarters, to make amends, turned into a confession of Seven's feelings; the Ex-Borg saying she "admired" her.


The Uneven Rift, her newest book, captivated her with its dramatic, twisting plot. Eager to get back to it, she secluded herself in her quarters right after her shift and didn't even bother to get out of her uniform.

Twelve Pages into the chapter her door chimed, and she huffed out a short groan.

"Come in." Sitting on the couch with her feet propped up, uniform jacket unzipped, and the book in her hand, Janeway looked up, a bit surprised to see her late-night guest. "Seven?" She closed the book over her thumb with a gentle furrow in her brow, watching the door close and the stiff Ex-Borg clasp her hands behind her back where she stood.

"I came to apologize."

"What?" Her furrow tensed with confusion.

"We have been at odds for several days." Seven paused, her prideful gaze telling Janeway this was not easy for her. "The doctor is encouraging me to learn how to apologize."

"…Okay…" Janeway smiled.

"You take needless risks and I do not agree with all your decisions." Seven lifted her chin. "The goal is to reach Earth as soon as possible, is it not?"

"It is."

"Then these meaningless deviations from the plotted course are inefficient. 64.96% of the time these deviations result in altercations with other species, damage to Voyager, loss of Supplies, and injured crew."

Janeway sighed and shook her head. "I thought you were here to apologize."

"I am Captain, but I feel the need to voice my concerns first."

"…Sit." Janeway gestured to the spot next to her with a tilt of her head, lowering the tone of her voice to make sure Seven knew the command was non-negotiable.

As Seven sat beside her, she planted her feet on the floor and set her book on the small ottoman, resting her forearms on her knees.

"Even if we never deviated from our course, it would still take us at least forty years to reach Earth…" Janeway started glancing to Seven. "This crew can't think about that. If we do, we lose hope." Leaning forward she rested her head in her hands, pressing her thumbs into her temples and interlocking her fingers over her brow. "Exploring adds diversity to the trip, boosting morale. Trading with other species keeps voyager supplied and provides us with a vast amount of data on what was once uncharted territory for us." She lifted her gaze, setting her chin on her folded hands. "Voyager has seen and may see more than any ship in its class. For the possibility that one of these species, planets, etc., may have something that will bring us closer to home, I'm willing to make deviations or take calculated risks. The crew can't think that I've lost hope. If I lose hope, then they will as well." She turned to Seven with a crooked smile. "So yes, I'll take my chances with 64 percent."

"Do you not worry?"

Seven's blue eyes and stern voice held a peculiar softness, and after a moment too long of gazing at the other woman without a word spoken, the Captain glanced down.

"…I can't. But yes Seven, I've had those thoughts."

A bout of silence stilled the air between them and Janeway stifled a yawn looking to her book, deciding it was too late to read any more.

"I choose to remain optimistic but that doesn't mean I don't see the reality. Hell, if it really does take us forty years to get back, I'll be almost dead by the time we reach home. So I figure we have to make the best of the life we have now." She gave a wry smirk and turned to Seven of Nine; The blonde's gaze unwavering, penetrating her soul; the brow above those eyes knitting together.

"What are you thinking about Seven?"

Seven's gaze scanned her face and fixated on the spot below her nose.

Awaiting an answer, she turned her face away from the Ex-Borg, not wanting to stare into those sparkling blue eyes any longer, even as beautiful as they were.

"I admire you Captain."

When Janeway turned her head in Seven's direction her sight was crowded by a brown and yellow blur.

"Sev—" Her words were cut off by a pair of lips on hers and her hands sat frozen in the air, wanting to create distance between them but not knowing whether or not to touch Seven. Seven's hands were at her face, cupping her jaw and holding on just a little too tight. Seven pulled a little, drawing her further into the kiss.

"S—" She tried to speak into the kiss, but a spark of energy rushing through her body cut her off. She sunk into the warmth of Seven's mouth, her tensed muscles beginning to relax. 'No.' Finding the will to move her hands, Janeway grabbed Seven's shoulders and pushed her back with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Showing you my admiration."

Seven pushed against her grasp and her hands slipped from Seven's shoulders.

"You ca—"

Seven's lips crashed into hers as the Ex-Borg tried to devour her. This time her eyes almost closed but flew back open the moment her back flopped to the couch's seat cushions, Seven climbing over her; the woman's hands moving from her face to her shoulders and then wedging themselves under her back. She swore her heart was going to burst from her chest; it almost hurt, thumping hard against her breastbone.

Before she had time to react, Seven's mouth slipped from hers and attacked the side of her neck. At the sudden rush between her legs, she shoved Seven back and whisked out from beneath her. Panting, she paced her quarters with a hand on her hip, wiping her mouth and the saliva off her neck with the other.

"What were you thinking?" Janeway turned to Seven with a sharp tone and furrowed brow; the other woman fixing her posture on the couch, sitting up with her hands bracing the edge of the seat cushions; the heavy rise and fall of her chest betraying her resolve. Now Seven's eyes looked hungry, lustful even, staring into her own as though they'd acquired their target and were hell bent on getting what they wanted.

With a clench in her jaw, Seven's gaze dropped to the floor. "I simply acted on my physical response."

"Physical response…to what?"

"…To you Captain."

Janeway's mouth just hung open and her eyebrow froze in its raised position at Seven's words.

"The doctor has also been encouraging me to explore my feelings."

Janeway steeled her jaw, resetting her furrowed brow.

"Admiration Captain..."

Seven stood and she couldn't help but glance at her Astrometrics officer's well-formed chest, pressed tight against her brown biosuit.

"According to him this is the answer to my elevated heart rate and dopamine levels."

"You spoke to him about your feelings for me." With a sigh Janeway put a hand over her eyes and started a slow pace of the room once more, not paying attention to the blonde moving in her direction.

"I thought something was malfunctioning. During my weekly checkup I explained to him the symptoms I was having."

Janeway could feel Seven's gaze burning a hole right into the side of her face. 'Great…now I have to speak with him to make sure this doesn't get around.'

"He said, and I quote, "This is a normal response to someone you admire"."

"I don't think he meant kissing me Seven." Janeway turned to the Ex-Borg, looking her straight in the eye; the woman scanning her body with a sudden perplexed gaze.

Seven tilted her head. "Captain…"

"Yes Seven."

"I believe you are experiencing the same phenomenon. Your pupils are dilated, your breathing is shallow, your heartrate is elevated beyond normal parameters, and I am detecting a rise in body temperature." Seven paused, her mouth forming a barely noticeable smirk.

'She just had to be Borg.' Janeway spurted out a dry chuckle from her equally dry throat and turned away from Seven putting a hand in her pocket. "Hardly. It's not everyday someone kisses the Captain."

"My analysis says otherwise—"

"Would you stop scanning me?" She glanced over to Seven. "Look, shouldn't you be regenerating—"

"Are you telling me to go Captain?"

'No I…I didn't mean it like that.' Janeway ran a hand through her hair and paused for a contemplating moment, staring at her feet after hearing the disappointment in Seven's voice. Releasing a heavy sigh, she met the Ex-Borg's gaze. "For right now yes."

Seven steeled her jaw, giving a subtle nod and the coldest utterance of "Understood" as she walked around the Captain and disappeared out the door.

At the second hiss of her door, Janeway looked up to the ceiling and put her hands on her hips. 'What the hell just happened…and why do I feel like I should go after her?'


Present- Astrometrics

The first rendezvous was in an engineering Jefferies tube after three days of awkward tension following that late-night visit. Seven had called her there to "Look at a gel pack". She should've known something was off, Seven never called her to examine a lousy gel pack. B'Elanna was perfectly capable of doing the same.

When Seven sealed the Jefferies tube, she knew what was coming.

That time Seven approached slower.

The Captain remembered the EX-Borg's hand landing on the floor right between her legs; Seven moving in, taking her waist through the uniform with a tenderness she didn't think the woman was capable of.

Leaning back on her hands, she thought about scurrying out from under the Blonde. But Kathryn Janeway was no runner. So, she stared into Seven's eyes and Seven stared back with a longing she'd never seen. She only imagined that her own eyes showed her mind's brimming conflict.

In a surprising twist, her hand lifted and by the arm she pulled Seven in first, initiating their second kiss. Maybe it was the look in Seven's eyes, her own desires surfacing, or most likely both, but that kiss solidified a new chapter in their relationship and the emerging of her subsequent guilt.

Ever since that rendezvous, Seven had been insatiate, and in turn she kept answering the Ex-Borg's call. She figured this was probably the sixth time her back ended up on top of a console, not counting the bulkheads she been pinned to.

For a moment, she wondered if Seven actually was malfunctioning, unable to process all the rampant emotions in time to keep herself even-tempered, and like a cup overflowing it all spilled out at once.

'Katie you know you love this.'

True, she fed off the arousal, even loving it when Seven still called her "Captain" in the heat of the moment. Call it a guilty fantasy.

Janeway smirked into the kiss, one hand tightening around Seven's waist and the other flat against the console to stabilize herself. Pushing off her hand she slid up the console, taking Seven with her as she pulled the woman in closer. Unbeknownst to her, that hand shifted over the console's lit display, her pinky inching closer to a red square only responsive to her fingerprint.

It hit it.

Voyager's sirens flared on all decks. The bright overhead lights cut off, giving way to a darker, energy efficient luminescence as warning lights around the room and on the consoles flashed a pulsating red.

The Captain jumped splitting the kiss; a surge of adrenaline rushing through her on automatic response. She put her hand to Seven's shoulder about to push the woman back and rush to the bridge…until…she rolled onto her side and looked at the red square her finger landed on. Smacking her lips her mouth drew into a tight smile. "Shit."

With her finger still on the button, she took her hand from Seven and reached between them to the console, keying in her "Red Alert Deactivation" code.

The flashing red lights died, and the ship returned to its bright, humming atmosphere.

"Cap—"

The Captain covered Seven's mouth and tapped her combadge, one leg dangling from the console and the other loosely locking Seven between her. "Janeway to Voyager. Stand down Red Alert." She started in her Captain's voice. "False Alarm. As you were." She waited a second in silence then looked to Seven, watching the Ex-Borg raise the implant over her eye. Removing the hand over Seven's mouth she grinned. "These are the things that happen as Captain."

Seven smirked back at her and a moment later Janeway broke their eye contact with a sigh.

"But really Seven…" Janeway sat up, pushing Seven back and hopping off the console to pace the room. "We've gotta stop." She kept her back turned to the blonde, heading towards one of the wall consoles. Crossing an arm over her chest, her hand grasped her opposite elbow; the other arm lifting her fingers to her chin in thought. "How many times have we done this this week?"

"Irrelevant."

Janeway turned to Seven with an upward crease in her brow. "Really?"

Seven pressed her lips together, letting her eyes size up the Captain's physique. "Yes…" She straightened her posture with an inhale and lifted her chin, looking into the older woman's eyes. "I have…urges. And I believe you have them too."

Janeway sighed and knowing smile gracing her lips.

Seven's lack of self-control was simply her not understanding how precious it was to humankind. Throughout their lives, humans learned the art of self-control through the establishment of societal norms, but Seven was without these. That's why the Ex-Borg spoke her mind when she wanted and acted as she wanted, appearing insubordinate and troublesome.

The crew saw this brazen confidence as arrogance, and while Janeway understood why, Seven's personality also made her a breath of fresh air and an irresistible lover, just the opposite of her staunch Captain's persona.

A Captain had to be reserved, poised, and most importantly, in complete control of himself or herself. To falter would show weakness. At least, that's how she was taught.

'Taught.' That word rang a bell. Much like Seven, she too had been groomed on how to talk and act.

With her gaze down, she started towards Seven then stopped and leaned her hip against one of the outer consoles. "Acting on those "urges" would be detrimental to my duty as Captain." Looking to Seven, she drew in a breath readying herself to speak but was beat to the punch as soon as she opened her mouth.

"You are going to tell me that as Captain you should not fraternize with crew." Seven clasped her hands behind her back.

Janeway opened her mouth and was cut off again.

"I respect that—"

"No Seven you don't."

"I did not finish what I was saying."

With a smirk, Janeway raised her eyebrows, gesturing to the woman across from her with an acquiescent hand. "Please."

"The doors are sealed and internal sensors have been deactivated. Does this not afford you the privacy you wish for?"

"Sealed doors are a great way to start rumors, especially when the Captain is behind them."

"Why do you keep refuting me?"

Janeway turned her profile to Seven and sat against the console, her hands bracing its edges as she stared at the main door. "A starship Captain's place is not on her back."

"Do you wish to be on top?" Seven took a couple steps forward with confident eyes, oblivious to the Captain's blushing, amused smile. "I believe the urges would dissipate if we were to have sex."

'Oh Seven…' Janeway put a hand over her eyes with a sigh. "That could also make things worse." She ran the hand through her hair and looked up.

"Explain." Seven pushed with irritated urgency.

"I will." Pushing off the console, Janeway started towards the door. "Computer lift command seal on Astrometrics door."

"Captain?"

At the sudden confusion in Seven's voice, she stopped just short of the door and turned over her shoulder, her eyes meeting the Ex-Borg's. "I'll explain, but not here." She paused, looking ahead once more. "Meet me at my quarters tonight, 2100 hours…and try to be discreet." With that she stepped out of room, briskly heading back to the bridge.

Once the door closed, Seven clenched her jaw and turned to the console, grabbing its edge. Slamming her eyes shut, her face contorted as an agonizing pain tore through her head. Slowly, she began to hunch forward. This headache wasn't the first, but each time they came they got worse. What started out as a dull ache a week ago, had now become a searing stab.


"Captain report here, Captain this, Captain that, UGH!" B'Elanna paced their shared quarters throwing her hands up in emphasis to her tirade. Tom laid on the couch in front of her, just watching and listening, the smartest thing to do.

"Almost sounds like you're jealous."

"The Captain runs to her at every whim." She continued her pace. "Seven gets everything she wants."

"Well I don't think she gets ev—"

"Think about it Tom." B'Elanna's eyes widened in realization. "The Captain risked all of our lives to save Seven from the Borg, not once but twice. Even after Seven said "I want to rejoin the collective"."

"I think Captain would do that for any of us."

"Really Tom?" B'Elanna bobbed her head down as though ready to fight. She scoffed. "She nearly let me get my brains fried out by those telepaths, talking about "we can't pick and choose which laws we will and won't follow". But with Seven it's like Fuck the Borg, Fuck protocol, let's start a fucking war." She sighed, coming down from her high. "I don't know Tom. I don't know why it bothers me so much."

"Maybeee…" He shrugged. "Janeway's got a crush on her…"

B'Elanna's eyes flicked to his. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Or maybe she sees her as a daughter—"

"More like a beloved science project." She grumbled.


A.N. I hope this was okay. I know this could be edited more. However, I am really on a time crunch with this story as things in my personal life are about to change. The story is already completely drafted out from beginning to end (about 50 notebook pages lol). So far it is about five to six chapters long. Thank you for reading. :)