I don't know if it's easy for you to fall asleep or overconfidence. But you let yourself fall, exhausted by fatigue, in such a pleasant way that it only makes me want to look at you and accompany you.
C.E 71
"The 10 hours before landing."
The remnants of the just ended battle floated slowly through the darkness illuminated by the small flashes of the mobile suits that sought shelter from the endless rows of people who had lost their lives in search of peace. Once again the space had become a huge tomb.
The flight had been taken under gravity with the mother ship's engines barely running to protect the remaining energy. Well, it would be around seven to ten hours that we had to wait for the paperwork for landing permits and personnel counting.
We were all exhausted and the silence was part of our well deserved rest. Even so, the doors between the hallways rang open and closed as I passed. I couldn't stay alone in my assigned room, I needed to see you.
The emotions during the last combat of the war had been so many and to such an extreme that little by little my brain and heart began to filter them, realizing then that I almost lost you.
How distressed you must have been to think about once again exploding your machine with you inside as there was no other way...
With my feet literally floating I reached your door and stood outside motionless for a few seconds. I thought for a moment that perhaps I had gotten ahead of myself by letting myself be carried away by my own feelings that led me to you, but the truth is that you had just lost your father, your world... It would not be right if I go with you just to see your face. …
When suddenly the sound of your door opening filled the silence and there you were with that surprise that your charming eyes could not contain.
-Cagalli?
The beating of my heart became violent but the thought of having acted out of selfishness by satisfying my need to see you remained in me. I did not know what to say.
-Sorry, I just...
-It's a relief…
You sighed, closing your eyes and then dedicating your smile to me again, as sweet as ever.
-Hey?
Now I was the one surprised. What were you referring to?
-I have spent several minutes fighting against myself in the decision to go for you... I didn't want to interrupt you if you were resting.
-Me... me too
I could barely hold your gaze out of embarrassment, but I had already gotten there and you thought the same, I couldn't be more excited.
I looked around and noticed the bed was slightly messy, you had been lying down.
And then I looked at you, the tiredness was evident, but your face looked smooth and neat, without thinking I brought my hand up to place my palm on your cheek, with which I lost a little stability, lifting me to the lack of gravity, that was when you hug me. Your arms surrounded me and put me in the room. The door closed.
It was like the tacit invitation to kiss you. You smelled very good, even if it was the smell of that public brand shampoo that was in all the showers at Archangel.
This would be our second kiss, for a couple of seconds I felt my whole body cool down waiting for the contact of your soft lips.
I couldn't recognize myself. In your arms I seemed like the princess I was by inheritance, and I just needed to feel protected and sheltered by you.
And there it was, finally, the delicacy of your gentle and sublime touch. How could you be so brave and fierce in battle and kiss with such tenderness?
After the kiss you looked at me and I'm sure the blush on my cheeks spoke for me. I love you.
And I needed more. But I was still flooded with the shame of knowing I was lost like that because of you. My lips parted waiting for you to notice, your eyes focused on all sections of my face like if you were looking for the connection between the invitation of my lips and the desire in my eyes.
I could see the emotion of seeing that reaction in me reflected in your smile and with it you gave me one more kiss.
-This is also new for me.
You mentioned to me, maintaining your smile that like a seal you had left stamped on my lips after separating you.
Your comment made me think about how very nervous I must have looked and every pore of my skin screamed it, but you were worth it. Inside me, the desire to give you all the attention and love that I knew you were missing and that you deserved was growing stronger and stronger.
-Cagalli…
I just nodded and you pulled me closer to your chest. Your hugs always feel comforting and that was like an invitation to take refuge in you forever.
-I really like being like this.
I told you with all the frankness of my heart.
-Really?...
You asked, your voice was showing through my hair.
-And it scares me…
The words flew from my lips without me being able to stop them.
By the logic of the moment, I understood that you retired to see me, waiting for me to finish the sentence, you looked scared.
-I already told you not to make that face... not when it comes for me, I will never hurt you.
-That's what I should say, Cagalli...
-What I was referring to is how much I have clung to you, so soon... and it scares me that this is just something temporary...
-Let me tell you something... and it will sound strange...
-You just say it and I will decide that...
-I liked you too much, from the first moment I saw you.
-You can't be more of a liar, if the first time you saw me you thought I was a man and you wanted to kill me!
-Ha ha if you say it that way it sounds terrible. I'm referring to the moment we spent on the island, on our little island where we unleashed our war for two.
You didn't stop smiling throughout the entire explanation as if what you remembered was truly pleasant.
-But since you say that... I did hurt you twice.
-Exactly.
Your statement took away my shame, as I waited for what you meant by that.
-You left me dazzled with your desire to live... to want to do things well... although at that time I did not share your ideals, it seemed fabulous to me how such a beautiful person with such a small body was so involved due to her conviction.
-Athrun…
-Then you must not be afraid of losing me. Because what is happening between us is strong, it has been built on very intense moments and it has united us, I hope, for a long time.
-What do you mean for a long time? You're supposed to say it's forever...
-It's true... I can't help but have that touch of pessimism.
-We will work on that.
I placed my hand on your face again, it was impossible for me to stop looking at you and smiling at you.
-You're so pretty…
-Cagalli…
You blushed.
-Don't be afraid to listen to it, I will tell you a lot.
-Then I do the same.
The counterattack was immediate, you knew I would blush perhaps even more than you.
-Baka... changing the subject, I think you should lie down for a while longer, we still have to get to the ground and you should sleep a little at least.
-Yes, the truth is that I am dead, but I really needed to talk about all this with you.
Standing on one side of the door the entire time, it would have been expected that I would leave at the end of the conversation, but I didn't want to leave.
- Do you think... that it would be strange if I stayed here with you to rest?...
- Stay?
- Say! Snuggle in your bed only! Something like that!
-I was about to ask you, I didn't want you to leave... but I was afraid of how it would sound...
You gently took my hand and I responded by squeezing it.
-Let's do something... starting today, let's always tell each other the things we want, even if we're embarrassed.
-That... is very hard. I don't think I can.
-If it is in my power to please you, I will do so.
Once again you felt me with your unique smile and you led me to the place where you had risen from the beginning.
I carefully sat on the side of the bed, starting to feel really nervous, I mean, I had been next to you and hugged you many times, but sharing the warmth of your room was totally different.
You laid back on the pillow and invited me to do the same. But it seemed like an invisible wall separated us, you didn't move an inch just like me. They were the most disastrous first seconds I had ever experienced, this was not what I expected, so I turned to you, finding your gaze fixed on me.
By then you would be infected with my feeling of disappointment and I with the insecurity of touching myself that dominated you to realize how ridiculous it was to behave like that when we both wanted more from the other.
Laughter spread over the air exhaled by your breath.
-Come here, I know an excellent method to help you sleep.
I diligently tried to take our situation naturally and you responded with the same confidence, you watched carefully as I settled on the pillow and guiding you towards my chest I laid you on top of me without thinking too much about it.
But everything seemed to be what you needed most at that moment, I could witness how your eyes closed calmly on my chest as your breath accompanied mine while your hand tenderly caressed my waist.
It was like I was designed to fit perfectly on top of me…
When you felt my hand tracing paths through your silky and attractive hair, I heard you sigh.
And then I noticed, nothing made me happier than being able to spend time with you, like this... with the simplicity of being able to contemplate you and you are actually beautiful.
I don't know if it's easy to you fall asleep or overconfidence. But you let yourself fall, exhausted by fatigue, in such a pleasant way that it only makes me want to at look at you and accompany you.
And the best of all is that I can be the one who is in those moments with you.
