The Lawn Care Hero
Paige wrestled with the lawnmower in an attempt to get it out of the garden shed. It was a beautiful spring day. It was LA after all and to be expected, but today was magnificent even by SoCal standards.
Paige was going stir-crazy in the house and even though today felt way too beautiful for yardwork, she just could not stand to look at the jungle that had become her backyard for one more minute.
Ralph was on a weekend excursion to San Diego with his marine life class at CalTech and it seemed like the perfect opportunity for an actual dining with adults dinner party. She and Walter had invited Happy, Toby, Sly, Cabe, and Allie. And everyone would be arriving in a few hours.
Paige had been working on making the terrace into an outdoor living and dining room. Walter (under duress) had hung twinkle lights on the pergola a couple of weeks ago. The new outdoor furniture had been delivered on Thursday and Paige, who knew the limits of her time and sanity had decided to have the evening catered so that she would have the chance to actually enjoy her own party.
The only portion of the meal Paige would be cooking would be what had become her signature dessert recently, Baked Alaska. Mostly just because she always loved the look on Walter's face whenever he saw the sweet confection.
She still had plenty of time before she needed to worry about dessert so for right now Paige stood in her beat-up sneakers, a pair of cutoff denim shorts she had accidentally cut too short and would never be seen in in public, and a tight tank top that had seen better days, even before she wore it to paint the kitchen and Ralph bumped the tray on the stepladder splattering her in a shower of cheerful yellow paint. As she stood, she surveyed the overgrowth in the yard.
Paige had thrown her recently cut shorter hair in a messy ponytail. But she had forgotten how much the shorter length would make pulling her hair up so much more of an ordeal as the wind blew the loose strands in her face. She briefly contemplated returning to the house to get a clip but decided against it knowing that if she did anything to slow her momentum in her quest to tame the lawn, she would likely end up in a bubble bath with a good book for the afternoon while she waited for Walter to return home and abandon her ambitions to have the dinner party outside altogether.
Finally, the lawnmower was free from assorted chairs and the hedge clippers. Perhaps she should let Walter organize the yard tools after all. He had been threatening to do so ever since the last time he had pruned their orange tree and an avalanche of potting soil had meant that his favorite shoes had been ruined. Paige still smiled whenever she thought of the look on his face when her mess suddenly and unceremoniously became his mess.
Focus, Paige, she commanded herself as she maneuvered the mower to the edge of the yard nearest the fence and started the noisy machine. She pushed the mower forward, following the line of the fence. Even though the mower was self-propelled, the yard was not particularly flat and the sound and smell of the gas-powered machine gave Paige a headache she didn't particularly need today.
Paige was quickly feeling sweaty and exhausted and wondered why she had ever thought this was a good idea as the machine struggled through the overgrown patches of grass. It was her stubborn desire for an outdoor dinner party that kept her going through the grueling job. Despite her discomfort, Paige fell into a rhythm as she pushed and started to feel the hypnotic qualities of the monotonous roar of the machine and the cadence of her stride.
That was why she shrieked and thought her heart might jump out of her chest when Walter appeared so suddenly in her path. Paige released the throttle of the lawnmower instinctively, the machine's engine cut off, and the ensuing silence filled her ears.
"Walter, I might have run you over and chopped off your toes! I didn't see you standing there!" Paige shrieked.
Walter shrugged, unconcerned. "It was a simple calculation of your velocity, the mower's horsepower capability, and your reaction time. I was never in any actual danger."
Now that Paige's heart rate was returning to normal, she spoke in a far more subdued tone. "I'm surprised to see you home this early. "I was able to finish my calculations more quickly than anticipated with the mainframe on campus due to their recent computational power upgrade, and then Sly's new traffic avoidance system shortened my drive home by a considerable 14.6 minutes."
"Okay, that makes sense, but that really doesn't explain what you are wearing." Paige watched, amused, as Walter looked down at his clothing as if seeing what he was wearing for the very first time. Both he and Paige skimmed their eyes over his attire, though for entirely different reasons. Walter was wearing athletic shorts, his own oldest pair of running shoes, and nothing else.
"Is it inappropriate for yard work? When I arrived home, I heard the lawnmower running and I looked out the window to see you working. I noticed your clothing choices as you pushed the mower. I only strive to be dressed to the occasion."
"The occasion?" Paige would hardly call yardwork an 'occasion'. "And since when do you do yard work? It always seems as if your 197 IQ suddenly has something better to do whenever there is work to be done in the yard." Paige squinted at Walter in the bright sunlight that he so frequently avoided.
"That is true, I do try my best to avoid manual labor, your assessment is correct, It isn't the best use of my time, generally speaking. But today, watching you push the lawnmower across the yard caused a distinct sensation of discomfort in my chest and stomach." Walter paused, unsure how to say the next part without upsetting Paige, but she motioned for him to continue and he realized that he had come too far to turn back now. "I realize that as a 21st-century woman, you are more than capable of completing this and many more strenuous tasks without assistance, but I realized that I didn't want you to do such an arduous job. I wanted to do it for you. Is that inappropriate of me? I confess that none of your EQ lessons thus far have covered this aspect of the male/female relationship." Walter waited impatiently for Paige's response. He wanted to get the part where he had insulted her over with so that they could get on with the business of making up after he said something that angered her.
Paige laughed. "Walter, I believe in the inherent equality of the sexes as much as the next girl, but I will admit that I do appreciate chivalry. I have chosen not to go on a second date with a man in the past when he didn't open the car door for me. So the fact that you don't want me to push this lawnmower over the entire quarter acre of our backyard, you want to do it for me, makes me want to kiss you, you ridiculously evolved caveman." She grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him hard on the lips.
After Paige pulled away, Walter rubbed his finger over his lips contemplatively. "I think that's a compliment."
"It is," she reassured him with a giggle. "So are you going to grab me by the hair, throw me over your shoulder, and drag me back to your cave now or what?" She gestured to his clothing or lack thereof.
Completely missing his wife's humorous comment, he puzzled over her comment before ignoring it completely. "Now let me get this mower started so I can finish taming the jungle before our guests arrive. I'm assuming your burst of industriousness in fighting the overgrowth is due to your desire to have dinner on the terrace and want the lawn in 'company' shape."
"You are most correct, handsome husband, it's one of the many perks of being married to a genius." Walter smiled at the compliment and watched as Paige turned to walk back toward the house. He was about to reach down and restart the lawn mower, but first, he reached a hand out and caressed Paige's ever-so-attractive derriere.
She turned to look over her shoulder with a saucy grin on her face that Walter returned. Paige felt flattered, perhaps he was a bit of a caveman and who knew how much she would like this side of him?
Walter watched for a moment as Paige made her way to the house, then he started the machine and began pushing it along the path Paige had already started on the lawn.
Walter always took care of his body as he knew it was the vehicle for his mind and needed to be kept in shape, but he was surprised at the amount of physical exertion required to tame the jungle that his yard had become. He quickly was out of breath, his arms shaking with exertion, and his legs burning as he pushed the mower up even the gentlest of inclines. He felt sweat beading on his forehead and wished he had a towel or even a shirt to wipe the moisture away before it stung his eyes. He had made the choice to dress this way, he had made a show of proving his masculinity to Paige. His wife, who was a much more accomplished athlete than he was, spent significantly more time on her physical fitness than he did. She would have made short work of trimming the grass. His male pride prickled at the thought. The last thing he was going to do was give up on this chore. When he noticed Paige watching him from the kitchen sliding door, a rush of protective pride puffed out his chest. Something about her watching him perform manual labor spoke to a primal part of his brain he had previously not known existed.
At last, the job was complete, and the yard looked presentable. With some relief, Walter released the throttle and pushed the now silent machine toward the tool shed. It took him 1.94 extra minutes to put it away because he had to rearrange six gardening tools, two old outdoor chairs, and a plastic wading pool that Paige had insisted they purchase last summer.
He closed and latched the door, with a satisfied click and turned toward the house. A smile spread across his face as he saw Paige on the terrace, still in her ridiculously skimpy outfit. She had placed a pitcher of lemonade and a platter of sandwiches on the table.
She held a towel in her hand as he approached. Paige met Walter halfway to the terrace. She wiped the sweat from his forehead with her cooly damp towel. Then she ran the towel down one arm, across his chest, and down the other arm. The cool trail of the towel left him feeling refreshed, but everywhere her fingers accidentally grazed his skin he felt an inner heat erupt at her touch. Walter yearned to pull her to him and rip off every shred of clothing between them, but he refrained. They had dinner guests coming and he had no idea when they were due to arrive. Plus Paige had gone to all this trouble to make him a snack after his physical exertions.
"Hail the conquering hero, tamer of the wild overgrowth of the yard! Thank you for giving in to your masculine desires and saving me from spending the afternoon fighting with the jungle that had taken over. My valiant caveman laborer, in honor of your travails, I have done my feminine duty and prepared food and drink to give you sustenance." Paige managed with a straight face, only to be undone by Walter's eye-roll at her words. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she laughed. Walter knew she wasn't laughing at him. It was a humorous situation and Paige had a natural flair for the dramatic. He allowed himself to smile at her silliness. His desire to touch her was only inflamed by the musical sound of her laughter. Instead of giving in to the impulse, he contented himself with putting his arm around her shoulder and kissing her temple as they made their way to the terrace and food, which he hungrily devoured, even as he devoured his beautiful wife with his eyes.
Author's Note:
This first chapter is rated T, we'll see where the second chapter goes. Spring is definitely heating up!
