Chapter 4
Charles had been embroiled in the game of chess for hours. He shifted his position as his back began to ache. He could not see a win and it seemed Johnny was winning handedly. His reign as chess champion of the MASH 4077th was about to come to and end and he knew it.
BJ and Hawkeye walked into the tent. BJ spied the game and was surprised it was still going. "Still at it?"
"Shhh…" Charles shushed him.
Hawkeye looked at Johnny. "I thought you said you were going to take it easy on him?"
"I am." he replied. "I gave him a number of opportunities to counter."
"This is going easy!" Charles huffed. "This is insane. You have countered all my best moves."
"I am going easy on you." he assured.
BJ laughed, "Charles. You are playing against a child prodigy genius. You are not going to win. Ever!"
"A Winchester never surrenders." he insisted.
Hawkeye stated, "Throw in the towel, Charles." He sat down and pulled out some paper and a clip board he got from Radar. He started to scribble.
BJ asked, "What ya doing, Hawk?"
"I'm starting my comic book." he told him.
Charles laughed "Hawkeye the Caped Crusader."
"Jealous." he accused.
"Hardly!" he huffed.
Hawkeye paused and pondered. "Should I make Charles the villain or Frank?"
"Frank." BJ stated. "Charles can be the adversary trying to find out your real name."
Johnny agreed. "I would make Frank Burns the villain. The crazy, mad scientist."
"Excellent." Hawkeye made a note. Oddly, the idea of drawing a comic book and using the medium to poke fun at those around him was very therapeutic for Hawkeye. He rather enjoyed himself.
Johnny was bored with the chess game and decided to end it. He moved a piece on the board. "Check mate. That's game!" he declared. He rose to his feet and stretched. "That was a long game."
Charles regrettably started to put the game away. "Perhaps we can go over some classical music, Captain Clements."
"I guess." he shrugged. "I heard there is a piano in the officers club. I can play on that, Charles."
"Major Winchester." he corrected.
"You want me to call you by rank now?" he asked confused.
"Until I win the next chess game." he stated miffed.
He spoke to himself but didn't realize his audience could hear him. "Boy, I am really going to have to dumb myself down for that."
"I heard that." Charles huffed.
He winced. "Sorry."
BJ stated, "You know, Johnny. That's not a bad idea. How many friends you got?"
He pondered, "Radar and Klinger are my friends."
"No friends at home?" he asked.
He shook his head. "I was so far ahead of all the other kids I never got to play with them. Plus, I'm a freak."
Hawkeye asked, "What do you mean you are a freak?"
He sat down on his cot. "I'm a freak. I have this brain that just absorbs everything I see. Everyone called me a freak growing up. I never had any friends."
Charles then began to realize that Johnny was rather isolated by his high intellect. He had no friends his own age. His parents died when he was little. His grandparents were in their golden years. His anger about losing the game melted. He offered, "The Winchester family will always be your friend, Johnny. I'm sorry if I came across as brash."
"It's okay. Usually no one will play chess with me since I always win. Even when I try to not win. I still win." he explained. "On the plus side, Major. You are the one man who I was able to have a game with that lasted more than five minutes."
Charles gasped, "You can usually win a game of chess in five minutes?"
"And going much easier on my opponent than I did with you." he informed.
BJ stated "See Charles. You are one player that Johnny could not beat in five minutes. It's all a matter of perspective."
"I see." he had to agree. "Tell me, Johnny. Are you interested in playing the game professionally? My family does sponsor chess tournaments."
"Sure." he agreed.
"Excellent my boy." he grinned knowing that Johnny could make him some money.
Hawkeye smirked at Charles. "In case the whole doctor thing doesn't work out he can be a professional chess player."
"It's nice to have options for the boy." Charles rebutted.
Johnny rattled off. "Or I could go into engineering, archeology, professional musician or my dream job."
BJ asked, "Being a doctor is not your dream job?"
He confessed. "I can do it and I like helping people but it's not my dream job."
Charles could not help but ask. "What is your dream job my boy?"
"Comic books!" he cheered. "To make my own comic books and sell them."
The Major paused in total disbelief. "Comic book artist?" he asked baffled.
"I love a good adventure." he grinned.
Charles gathered his wits. "How about novelist?" he suggested.
"I can write a manuscript but I like to draw cartoons." he told him.
His mind was stunned. The young man sitting before him who had more degrees than the three doctors combined wanted to be a comic book artist. To Charles it was the equivalent to being a custodian or janitor.
BJ came to Johnny's defense. "Come on, Charles. When you were Johnny's age what did you want to be?"
He fondly recalled. "At seventeen I wanted to attend Harvard Medical School and be a doctor."
Hawkeye stated, "When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman."
BJ recalled. "I wanted to be a lawyer when I was a kid."
Charles sighed, "I suppose it's an alright hobby."
Hawkeye looked at Johnny after he gathered his martini. "So Johnny. Got a girl you like?" he grinned.
"I don't have a girl." he shook his head. "I don't know what to even say to a girl." he confessed. "I know Colonel Burns was trying to make out that I was a homosexual so he could get me discharged."
BJ took his drink next and wondered. "Is there a girl you like?"
He confessed. "Yeah! There is!"
Hawkeye and BJ were both intrigued.
"And?" Hawkeye urged him to keep going.
"Tell us about her." BJ suggested.
Johnny had developed a crush on Major Houlihan. He became glazy eyed as he spoke of her. "She's real pretty. Blonde hair, blue eyes. She has this smile that can knock your socks off. She sweet, kind, caring."
"And?" Hawkeye urged. "Is she back home?"
He shook his head. "She's a nurse." he blushed.
BJ pondered, "Nurse here in the 4077th or back in Tokyo?"
"Here." he admitted.
Hawkeye stated, "Nurse Baker is mine." He thought for sure he was talking about Nurse Baker as she was the youngest nurse and a blonde to boot.
He blushed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." He then asked, "When's dinner?"
BJ asked, "You hungry?"
Hawkeye injected. "He's seventeen. Of course he's hungry."
Mess Tent
Johnny sat at the table with his three tent mates eating his dinner. Father Mulcahy had joined the doctors for a meal. He sat across from Johnny and was very cheerful in conversation.
"How is your stay in the Swamp, Johnny?" the Father asked.
"Reminds me of my college dorm." he told him.
Surprised he asked, "It does! How so?"
"Half of it is a mess. The other half is the neat freak. They don't agree on anything. And I'm treated like the kid brother." he shrugged.
BJ asked alarmed. "We don't treat you like a kid, do we?"
"Little bit." he stated.
"I'm real sorry if I come across that way." he apologized.
Charles insisted. "We are there to mentor you, Johnny. If it appears that we are treating you like child, do bring it to our attention. That is not our intent."
Hawkeye took a different approach. "Far as I'm concerned you are my kid brother and I am going to act like a big brother."
"Um…" Johnny wasn't sure what to say.
The Farther told him. "I see that Captain Pierce has adopted you, Johnny."
"That's right!" he grinned. "And as a big brother my next goal is to get you a date with a girl."
"Please don't." he begged fearing what Hawkeye would come up with next.
He stated, "You will never get the confidence you need to ask out that nurse you like if you have no experience. So, I'm going to set us up on a double date with Nurse Baker and she can grab a friend."
BJ asked, "You sure that is a good idea, Hawkeye? Johnny is younger than all the nurses."
"He's seventeen. The youngest is twenty one." he excused.
Charles reminded him. "Johnny is under eighteen, Peirce. The legal age."
BJ had to agree. "Maybe you should hold off on fixing him up on a date, Hawkeye."
"Nope!" he disagreed. "He learns the ropes now so when he is eighteen he can ask out his dream nurse."
The Father wondered. "Just who is this dream nurse?"
All eye fell on Johnny. He was not comfortable telling anyone that he liked Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan. He rose to his feet. "I'm going to get a second helping." He went back to the line for more food.
The Father pondered, "Odd. I wonder what nurse the young man likes?"
Margaret Houlihan then walked into the tent with a number of nurses to get something to eat as well. She and the nurses went to the line. She greeted the young doctor. "Johnny." she smiled pleasantly at the young man she found adorable and sweet. She tended to mother him a bit and he mistook her concern for a romantic interest.
He looked back over his shoulder. "Major." His eyes lingered for a moment.
"Hi Johnny!" Nurse Baker teased him.
He became meek. "Lieutenant Baker." He blushed.
The doctors mistook the blushing as a lusty reaction.
BJ looked to Hawkeye, "Looks like it is Nurse Baker."
He puckered. "I'm sure she can fix him up with a friend."
