Here is the next chapter. The ending is closer.

I'm taking the opportunity to thank my awesome beta reader Jess! She helped me a lot, reviewing the late chapters and giving me some inside tips about romance. Truly, truly grateful (even more, because OhmNNN is not one of her ships). She's amazing!

By the way, "I'll be your man" by BTOB really helped me write this chapter. I'm not a BTOB stan (my beta is, though, she'll be happy), but I have to admit they have the best power ballads ever!


Chapter 11 - Mine

The breakup was, at the same time, better and worse than what he was expecting, but definitely not what he was expecting.

"I was expecting this. I never felt that you liked me enough. I always felt that something was missing from your side. Or maybe I was not enough..."

She hurriedly caught a single tear that was falling from her eye.

"No, that's not true, Film!"

Film ignored him, looking him in the eyes, "I've always felt that I was here for a different purpose. Wasn't I?"

I shook my head.

"Film..."

She laughed without humour, "I was. I felt it when you kissed or hugged me. I felt how you were trying desperately to focus on me as if you were trying to forget something. And I failed. I felt how disappointed you were."

I wasn't expecting her to feel this way. I didn't even realise! I didn't even consider how much she could have been feeling. How could I? How dumb can I...?

"Not at you, Film. Never at you. I didn't mean to do this..."

"I know you didn't. Sorry I'm getting emotional, Nanon," she smiled what seemed to me like a genuine smile, "I know we started recently, but I've liked you for longer. And when you took me to meet your family..." she sighed, "I knew it was only because your mother caught us. I knew if it was up to you, we would have continued hidden. I knew it. Though I knew it, I just hoped that maybe things were getting serious. I just preferred to ignore it and be happy for a short moment. And that's not your fault."

She started slowly walking towards the door.

I had thought of two possible scenarios: she wouldn't mind this breakup as it hadn't passed that much time since it started, or she would scream at me and tell me how miserable I was. But I didn't give her enough credit. She's much more special than that. Maybe it would have been better if it was one of those options. For me... The guilt feeling was clogging my chest, making it hard to even swallow.

I heard my ironic laugh in my mind, mocking me. I'm a terrible person, I just hurt everyone around me. Film, Mom, Noonie, Ohm... Everyone I care about with my stupid indecision. People that don't deserve that. I just think about myself.

"Film..."

She looked back at me, raising her chin and looking more confident than I've probably felt my entire life.

"I'll be fine, Nanon. Truly. Don't worry about me."

Nanon had no idea of how deep Film's feelings were. He has been distracted… With Ohm, trying to make his feelings go away. With his "plan", trying to turn into reality what he had dreamt before. Through Film… As if she was a tool or an experiment.

When he discussed his decision to break the relationship with Film, his mom was against it and called him out as an egoistic person.

She was not right about this decision being the wrong one, but she was undoubtedly right about me being selfish.

The thoughts that filled his head were suddenly cut by the gasps and screams from the end of the hall. He walked the naked corridor until the opened room. Various desks and rooms were abandoned by managers, producers, directors and colleagues who were concentrated on his left side, looking up at the televisions and commenting among themselves.

He found his sister and mom near the couch, eyes also stuck on the televisions and took a turn to them.

"What are you watching?"

The once stunned eyes of his sister turned to him in worrisome shock.

"Phi…"

Nanon frowned and faced the television, noticing the gossip news. A video footage with Ohm and a smaller boy was rolling on the screen. The boy was briefly announcing the possible new BL series to the interviewer and also his new BL partner: Ohm. While the boy was talking, Ohm seemed to have been taken by surprise and then by serious anger.

"Can you introduce me to P'Ohm?" the small boy asked with a cute smile.

His name is Nong Bay. On the one hand, he is a cute-looking boy with a mischievous smile and a lonely dimple on his right cheek. On the other, he was dressed in all white, and his black hair framed his face in a very sexy way. Shortly, he is a very attractive, angel-looking kind of young man.

"Oh, to Ohm…" I started, embarrassed.

He laughed melodically.

"It's fine, Phi. I can also introduce myself."

I didn't know why, but his confidence was bothering me. I found it somewhat disrespectful. But was it? He is younger than me for sure, but does that mean he can't be confident while talking to me?

"I would like to work with P'Ohm as my partner."

I was surprised.

"BL partner?"

"Yes," he nodded and looked at me worried, "Hope you don't mind, Phi."

I smiled politely, feeling something else switching inside me.

"I? Of course not."

He relaxed and smiled.

"Great. I thought so as your partnership is over. Of course, we would have to wait a little bit more for the dust to settle, but I think P'Ohm will be perfect with me. He's very professional, and my career will be pushed forward with his help."

This was upsetting me more than it should.

"From what I know, he is not planning on making any more BL."

He reassuringly touched my arm, and I just felt like slapping his hand away.

He answered me with his voice full of security, "I'll make it work with P'Ohm. My uncle told me he could help."

Ah, great, yes! His uncle is the director of GMMTV. Of course, he can help!

My face may have shown something because he hurriedly added, "I mean it in a good way. Like a contract that may benefit both of us."

I felt immediately guilty. I remembered the times were I felt and was told by other people, in a joking way most of the time, that my success didn't come from my efforts. Because my father is an actor, I have been compared to and accused of nepotism, so I used (and sometimes still do) to justify my success. Like Nong was trying to do. I was doing the same thing to him as other people did to me.

At that moment, the ping of the elevator sounded as Ohm came out of it. He was so handsome… His hair was still arranged from his last event, but his shirt was more dishevelled, with the first buttons opened to reveal his chest. He was trying to roll up his sleeves in (what I thought to be) a breathtaking way.

When I returned my eyes to N'Bay, he was already floating with shiny eyes to Ohm. That twinkle in the eyes, does it mean it's not only business? Ohm stopped and looked down to N'Bay. At first, he didn't smile, but a flirtatious touch and maybe some stupid joke seemed to be enough to make him relax and laugh.

"Nanon, maybe we should go now," Noonie said, trying to pull him away from there.

That memory had just made him angrier. He was not understanding what was going on. That was only fueling his frustration. People were still exchanging murmurs and laughs.

"I'm okay, Noonie."

He managed to do exactly as he said.

"Nanon…"

"This announcement right after that fantastic kiss was just the cherry on the top of the cake. Nong Ohm's return to BL with an amazing new partner" started the girl on the TV.

Kiss?

Nanon returned his attention to the television. Now, the two presenters were discussing enthusiastically a short video. The video showed Bay placing a chaste kiss on Ohm's lips. Then, Ohm's eyes widened for a few seconds before he laughed.

Screams and teasing laughs ruptured through the room. And Nanon felt like the floor disappeared from under his feet, and he was in a free falling, all the air sucked out of him. The scene kept repeating itself on the television without necessity because Nanon had already memorised it.

He sat. Containing the tears was becoming harder, flooding the channels that drain the tears from the corner of his eyes to his nose. He needed the help of his fingers to stop them from rolling free down his face. A pinch of gratitude for his sister, who was covering the others' view of his face with her small body, warmed his heart, but the murmurs and laughs of surprise and teasing were reaching him like pointy screams.

Maintaining the position between him and the others' eyes, Noonie said quietly, "We don't know what that was. Most certainly, it was fan service."

It doesn't matter.

"I don't like. I don't like it," Nanon replied in a whisper, "Did I lose him?" he asked, turning his eyes to his sister.

His mom sat next to him and took his hand in hers.

"You are strong, lukchai. Everything will pass. I told you he wasn't the best option. You did well staying away from Nong."

He didn't want to hear that!

He didn't want to hear how much she disagreed with his relationship with him. Or how wrong they may be together... He didn't care now if she felt sad about him breaking things up with Film. He didn't care how she thought it was unfair to her or how stupid he was for losing «such a good girl». He didn't care if she was disappointed in him for «not caring enough about his career and all the effort they put into it». Because now he could solely care about losing him.

He could only see another man kissing and touching him, another person touching his feet with theirs, intertwining their fingers together while making love, feeling the weight of his body on theirs… He could only see Ohm enjoying another person's food, not his, laughing at someone else's dry jokes, not his, tolerating someone else's ranting, not his… And that someone else would be staring at him while he parades himself shirtless around the house, will be able to observe him while he sleeps and comes home tired to fall into his arms and mouth.

PIING!

The elevator sound tried to echo through the loud room, and Ohm stepped in. Everyone stopped quietly to look at him. He looked like the Ohm on the television but also didn't. He was still wearing the same black suit pants and the same colour shirt, his jacket forgotten elsewhere. His aura agreed with his clothes: dark. His face was serious and terrifying, his steps wide and decided. He paused his walk to look around the room, apparently not finding what he was looking for. His glance lingered a little longer on Nanon, and for a short second, he seemed sad.

From the corridor emerged two people, one of them his manager. Upon seeing her, he walked towards her. For a second, Nanon panicked at the thought of Ohm hitting the girl. Yet, he halted his steps to face the girl in front of him, her colleague taking some steps away from the scene (probably having the same thought as Nanon).

"Is it true?" Ohm asked in a lower tone than what Nanon was expecting.

That somehow made him seem even more petrifying. Nanon could see she was scared, but she bravely kept her posture.

"What?"

"Is it true that you said to N'Bay it would be okay for him to kiss me as fan service for a new BL you accepted in my name without consulting me about it?"

The room was quiet enough for everybody to hear Ohm's low tone.

"Ohm…"

"Is it true?" he repeated, raising his tone a little.

It is this irregular, unexpected and deranged side of Ohm that Nanon dislikes and is more afraid of. This side that can break Ohm apart - the reason slipping through his hands to only show vulnerability in the form of anger.

"Yes, but look, this will be good for your career. N'Bay is the nephew of the CEO, and he's very liked by the public. It will be very good after everything that has happened to you," she adjusted her position, raising her chest a bit, "And more: you should thank me and him for being so interested in working with you," then, she added in a calmer tone, lifting her hand to his arm, "You just have to sit down and…"

Fast as light, Ohm pushed a chair against its desk, the loud noise of it rebounding to the floor making everyone gasp in scared surprise.

"YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE MY LIFE!"

He crossed her as wind, leaving the room silent.

Do you think it would be possible that maybe some sides of a person that disturb you so much are also sides of you that you try to keep in the darkness?

Nanon heard the voice of his therapist in his head.

He felt Ohm's pain sharp in his own heart. He, himself, would have never done what Ohm just did. Screaming and losing control at work or in public, though he would be screaming inside. He would have waited and tried to mingle through the threads of the company, or he would have just gone along with it. Swallow it. Screaming wouldn't look good.

Look good.

He was tired of that. And Ohm… He didn't care as much. He didn't have to be always perfect.

Or maybe… He just dares to not be always perfect.

Always put together. Nanon was not. He was broken on so many sides. His relationship with his father, his relationship with his mother, his relationship with work, colleagues, his love life… There were so many imperfect and broken things in his life.

Why did he have to be so perfect? So put together. Always.

Ohm returned to the room with wide steps. Now, with his bag hanging from his shoulder, he was heading from where he came from. When his manager tried to stop him, grabbing his arm, Ohm looked back at her, his eyes glowing with a dark warning fire. Understanding, she let go of his arm, and without a word, he headed for the elevator, calling it.

PIING!

As the elevator resounded in the still room, Nanon felt his perfect picture slipping, willingly, and shattering into millions of pieces. His normal sexuality, his perfect family, his spotless career, his beautiful girlfriend turned into a beautiful wife and their 1.3 children. All gone. Because… It wasn't real.

He ran. His heart beating against his chest, he ran. He managed to squeeze himself through the door of the elevator before it closed behind him, muffling his mother's call. He tried to catch his breath as if, during the run, he had forgotten how to breathe, and the elevator started descending. He then raised his eyes, finding Ohm's looking straight at him with a mix of surprise, curiosity and maybe a bit of fear.

But, in Nanon's mind, there was no decision to be made right now. Because he couldn't decide, the only thing that was crossing his mind was that kiss. That stupid kiss with that smaller boy on the left side of Ohm's mouth.

I don't like it.

Nanon's hand moved up to Ohm's lips, wiping what was not dirty. But he kept wiping that region as if it was not clean as if there was something that didn't belong to those lips and needed to be taken out. Ohm didn't move. His arms had fallen on each side of his body, his eyes still on Nanon, looking at him with more intensity.

PIING!

The hand on Ohm's lips stopped. With a final look at Ohm, he decisively walked out of the elevator and into the parking lot. He let Ohm outpace him and guide him to the location of his car.

The car drive was in silence, with only the sounds of the motor and their heartbeats breaking it. Reaching Ohm's condo, they both put on a mask and sunglasses, as they did before, before leaving the residents' parking.

No words were spoken even until Ohm's house door. But it wasn't silence. The noise of their desire was now deafening. The sound of their faster breathing, the heat crawling from their bodies, the uncontrolled rhythm of their hearts… The sound of the door code finalizing their wait. Nanon pushed him inside and kicked the door close behind him.

The first kiss was sloppy, through the masks, forgotten in their faces. They ripped their masks off and threw their sunglasses somewhere. The sound of their glasses hitting the floor reached them at the same time as the sound of Ohm's muffled moan when Nanon pushed him against the wall.

Now, the kiss was without obstacles but urgent, burning for each second they had to wait. Nanon caged Ohm's lower lip between his teeth, licking it after. And Ohm did what he had been dreaming about for months, he reached down to Nanon's leg, bringing it up to his waist. He felt all his thigh, squeezing it through his pants. The need to kiss his favourite spot inside of Nanon's thighs rising in his chest.

Their tongues were inside Ohm's mouth, fighting for dominance. It was a tied game. Nanon pulled off to suck on Ohm's lower lip. He then started a trail of kisses until his jawline, where he bit harder than he used to do.

Surprised, Ohm opened his eyes. Nanon's hair was dishevelled, and his eyes closed. Another path of kisses until this spot on Ohm's neck where Nanon sucked hard. Harder than what they have ever allowed themselves. Ohm's eyes widened even more, a surprised whimper running out of his mouth. Damn… It felt good.

Nanon's hand, wandering through Ohm's hair, descended to his neck, stabilizing it in his desired position. After a few seconds, Nanon relieved the sucking pressure on Ohm's neck and looked. He looked at that red spot on Ohm's neck. He knew it would be darker, more purple, in a few minutes, and that filled him with contentment. He then licked that spot and started once again in a new one.

Ohm closed his eyes when he felt his wet tongue and then the new pressure. Nanon kept sucking on various spots on Ohm's neck, making him lose his strength gradually. He didn't manage to grab Nanon's leg anymore. But Nanon didn't mind and just started all over again on the other side of his neck. More sucking, more licking… And biting.

When Nanon bit his jugular, Ohm moaned deeply. The sound trembled through Nanon, who had to pause to breathe, realising finally the lack of oxygen making him dizzy. Ohm took advantage of that to push him hard against the opposite wall. For a moment, he was afraid he had hurt Nanon, but the younger boy was smiling widely. Nanon pulled him closer and observed the marks on his neck, grinning even harder.

This was when Ohm really grasped that he would be full of visible marks later. And well… It felt so good. Now, he wanted to give it back. Before he could, though, Nanon grabbed his face, pressing their lips together, hard but slow.

"Ohm," his voice was horsy and low, "You'll be mine. You'll be mine and only mine."

Ohm's eyes became a shade darker, and he connected their lips again with force. He sucked and bit Nanon's lips, the wet sounds filling their ears. He pulled Nanon's hip to him. Feeling Nanon's hard-on under his pants in contact with his made him moan into the shorter boy's mouth.

Ohm traced Nanon's body over his clothes until he reached to the back of his head where he intertwined his fingers with his hair and pulled. Nanon hissed with pleasure and pain, and Ohm's lips got closer to Nanon's ear, locking his ear lobe between his teeth. Nanon was surprised that there was still control left for him to lose. And he felt it gliding away like Ohm's tongue was doing now on his lobe.

"You're so ready for me…"

Ohm's voice came low. The air coming from Ohm's mouth tickled Nanon's neck, which he tried to hide without success. Ohm took his hand to the front side of Nanon's neck, bringing his chin down enough to force Nanon to face him.

"You are mine, Nanon."

One last kiss. Next, Ohm's mouth was working to make every corner of Nanon's neck red. He licked and bit, feeling Nanon's skin weak against his lips. Nanon was a moaning mess against the wall, his legs starting to fail like his fewer attempts to hide his neck. Nanon curled his hip to increase the contact between their clothed members, and his hands were searching urgently for the skin under Ohm's shirt.

Ohm knew he could come, embarrassingly, from only this, but Nanon seemed as desperate as him. Ohm pulled Nanon's hip to the wall. Vehemently, he ripped open the button and zipper of his pants, but Nanon's actions didn't fall behind, tossing Ohm's belt to the floor.

Ohm didn't wait and started pushing him through the living room, then the door of his room and, finally, into his bed. Nanon fell on the bed, and a jump of familiar smell involved him. He sighed content and complete.

I'm yours.

I'm yours.


1.3 is Thailand's birthrate in 2021 ( . . ?locations=TH). Just interesting stuff for you to know.

I wrote this chapter pre-Leng. In no way Nong Bay is inspired by Nong Leng.

Thank you!