Chapter 2 - Phuen

Pat is sitting at his study desk, stupidly going through a book he has about Engineering when a tin falls into his balcony with a clack. He recognises it, and it lights him up with a sense of nostalgia.

He gets up and steps out to his balcony. Pran is leaning against his window's jamb at the other end of the string that connects both tins. He is waving at him with it, so Pat takes the opening of the tin to his mouth and waits for Pran to take the other to his ear.

"I must admit, Pran. You did a pretty amazing job. You arranged for my sister to get along with this prank, got this whole backstory of a «hidden relationship» so our parents and friends don't know about it... Pretty elaborate."

Pran shakes his head, and his eyeballs roll inside his orbit while changing the position of the tin.

"Actually, you are incorrect. Wai and Korn know."

"Ha! Yes. Korn as well. Who is Wai?"

"He's my friend, ter."

Pat's face frowns, and he laughs. "Ter? Stop that. You're weird!"

Pran grins.

"Why? You do like it when I call you ter," Pran's voice has a deeper tone, unknown to Pat, "But I'd say your favourites are boyfriend, baby and... Puppy."

Pat feels his breath stuck halfway through his throat. He has to remember again how to breathe.

Before he could recover, Pran adds, "I can see you got a little flustered over there."

Damn you, Pran!

"I just got a little surprised by your weak flirt attempt. I thought slightly better of you, but not even that..."

"Shut up, Pat. I want you to recover quickly. So, I got you some pictures to see if it helps you remember."

Some seconds later, his phone is buzzing. Pat can't suppress a sharp chuckle. The photo is Pat with a smug look, his arm over Pran's shoulder, and Pran looking at him with judgmental eyes.

"We save our photos in a special app. It uses our fingerprints and a code to open."

The phone buzzs again. In the second photo, they were laughing, Pran's dimples deep on his cheeks.

"So? Maybe we managed to be friends somehow. I mean, we were kind of that already, right?"

Pran snorts, "Yes, we were. But now, we're more than just friends."

The next messages were a bunch of pictures of Pat sleeping. One on his belly, the muscles of his back uncovered. Another whole-body one, in the middle of a bed, on his back, holding Nong Nao, his other arm open like his legs. He was occupying the entire bed.

"So, you got Pa to send you some pictures of me sleeping. Good job!"

And where the hell is Nong Nao?

He had already asked Pa, but she didn't know. But Nong Nao was there in that picture.

Is this the bed in my room on the residence? Probably, Nong Nao is there.

Another buzz.

Wow!

The picture is of both, just a little blurred. Pat and Pran were lying in the bed. The messy hair makes it seem like they had just woken up. Pran was lying down on his shoulder, and Pat was pulling him, beaming widely at his hair, his nose drowned in it. Pran was smiling and biting Pat's chest.

There is an itch inside, under his stomach. He feels like smiling but tries hard to control it. Nevertheless, Pran is smiling tenderly at him.

Pat breathes deeply, "You are truly good at Photoshop."

If Pran thinks he is going to fall for his tricks, he is wrong. Pat doesn't know how he has done that, but he won't allow Pran to trick him.

Pran face twists with annoyance.

"Are you for real?"

He grabs his phone once more. When he is over, Pat's phone is buzzing. There is a video this time.

"Watch it."

Pat obeys Pran's command.

The video starts with Korn talking about the importance of engineers, and another guy Pat doesn't recognise screaming at him from the other side of the table about how engineers can't do anything without architects. Then, the focus of the camera goes to the kitchen. Pran was at the counter arranging something, and Pat was carrying some dishes. He watches himself reaching towards Pran after abandoning the dishes on the counter and saying something that makes Pran push him away. While Pran stepped away heading to the fridge, the Pat in the video laughed, apparently amused with himself. He rested on the balcony, his hands on it, with a smug expression on his face. But then, Pran leaned towards him and whispered something that wiped his expression clean. The next second, he was running back to the table.

«So, I think you've already eaten enough. Time to go home,» he hears himself saying

In the video, the other people started to bark complaints at him, and Pran reached behind with a fruit plate, hitting his head. His voice reached Pat through his phone.

«Don't mind him. He's an asshole!»

«Praaan!»

Film Pat complained to Pran, pouting at him and rubbing his own head. And the video cuts.

Pat doesn't know what to say. Is there any way of making a fake video? Probably. For sure. But this one seems real. It's not like he cut some scenes and put them together. But c'mon, what does this video prove anyway? They were having lunch together and teasing each other as they used to do. It doesn't prove they are dating.

"Pat."

The whisper from Pran takes him out of his head. Pran is pointing to the can, so Pat takes it to his ear.

"Nobody knows, but do you want to know what we were saying?" Pat doesn't answer, just keeps staring at Pran, "You told me I looked tired, and that you hoped it wasn't your fault. And then I said something like... «Clearly, I can still walk straight. Maybe I should give you another opportunity after they leave»."

He takes a moment to understand the meaning of those words, but when he does, his eyes almost pop out of his face, and he feels the heat rising to his cheeks. Before he can even manage to recover from the shock, he hears knocks on his door. Startled, he throws the can out of his balcony and heads inside just in time to see his parents getting in.

"Lukchai, you still have your lights on. Do you need something?"

"Can't sleep?" his father pats his shoulder.

"No, just reading something. I'm heading back to college, need to catch up."

His mom grabs his hand and sits him on the bed.

"Are you sure you want to return so early?"

This starts a full debate on how much or how little he still needs them. His parents are worried about his condition, but there is nothing to worry about for now. He needs to return to his daily life. The conversation takes some time, and when Pat comes back to the balcony and looks at Pran's window, no one is there.


If you ask Pat, the last remaining days of his holiday passed uneventfully.

They did! Well… There was this little thing. Nothing, truly… He just… Oh, Lord...

Yesterday, he was just using those hours after lunch to practice the drums. He liked playing drums, but by what his sister had said, their apartment in the residence (because, apparently, they share a bedroom now) is way too small to accommodate the set. So, he had to get the most out of it while here.

Pran has been pressing that whole story on him, but it has been mostly through messages, as Pat's parents were shadowing him all over the place. That is starting to become a bit annoying. Pat loves the attention and care, but it started being too much when his mom followed him to a male public bathroom and made a middle-aged man pee on his own shoes. He needs to get out of here!

Anyway, yesterday, he was minding his own business when his eyes spotted some movement in the next house. As he turned to Pran's window, he caught Pran drying his wet hair with a towel. And there was another towel. Just another one, around his waist.

Pat should have turned away. He knew he should turn away. It was not correct to look at someone else's body without their permission. But he couldn't. As if that sight of Pran was a magnet for his eyes.

He kept drying his hair, oblivious to Pat's eyes. Pat had noticed Pran had grown taller the first day they met by the trash bins. But now, he could see the lines of his body. He was a skinny kid when they were young. Now, he hadn't developed his muscles like Pat, but he had put some meat onto his bones. In all the right places... His lines were stronger but still soft.

While Pat was wondering if Pran's nipples looked hard because he was cold, Pran noticed him. Their eyes grabbed each other. Pat actually couldn't look away. Truth be told, Pran's eyes always had a strange effect on him. They themselves were strange… Resembling an empty void that sometimes seems full or darkness that sometimes shines. Like then, they seemed to sparkle with some kind of dark fire. Or probably all of this was inside of Pat's head.

Pran smirked at him. That side grin they always gave each other when they were ready to play. But Pat wasn't ready. Not for what happened next.

Pran turned around, and with one last glance at Pat, he started heading to the bathroom. Only that, on the way, the towel fell from his hips. Pat's eyes widened, and his whole body tensed in alert. Then, Pran turned to him again, everything uncovered. Pat's body jerked up, his feet stuck under the drum set, and he fell to the ground. He rested there alongside his drumsticks and part of his drum set, panting heavily but superficial, heat all over his face. His eyes stayed glued to the ground, too scared of looking up again.

His mother, alarmed by the noise, was there in a heartbeat. Pat couldn't tell as his heart was bouncing up and down in a frenzy. His mom helped him up and didn't let go of him for the whole afternoon.

His interest in Pran - Pran's body - didn't come as a surprise. He knows he is also into guys. He understood it when he was sixteen and ended up fooling around with this boy called Te on a summer vacation in his grandparents' village. Just some handsy kisses. He didn't see him again.

And Pran… Pat was almost sure Pran was 100% gay. He had never shown any interest in girls, and, in the locker room, when they were around thirteen, he caught some side glances from Pran to this new classmate they had. Boun. For some reason, Pat never got along with Boun. Pat was absolutely sure he was not a trustworthy guy. He was older than them and had failed one or two years. Of course, Pran had to find him handsome. He didn't have a proper taste! Pat made sure to tell him exactly that but only got a roll of the eyes in return. Those stupid eyeballs!

While he thinks back to what had happened, he remembers his skin and wonders if Pran's is as soft as it appears from the distance of his bedroom. Lord! Pran is good. No more innocent guy. Getting naked in front of Pat? C'mon, that is a bit too much. He shouldn't put this much effort into his bets. If Pat was another guy, something bad could have happened. As long as he only plays this hard with Pat, everything will be okay. And he is playing with all his game...

Grabbing his phone from his back pocket, he ignores Korn's message asking him to party tomorrow and opens Pran's chat, which he renamed Phuen, and swipes through the messages. He stares at the message that started a whole back-and-forth of teasing messages and insults.

[Sorry about that. My towel slipped... So clumsy I am sometimes.]


The first week of class was less overwhelming than what he was expecting. At first, he wasn't understanding a thing of what was being said, but once they got to the exercises, it started to be different. He was successful in doing them. It seems like the part of his brain that can solve mathematical problems still works. So, it is to say that Pat is in a pretty good mood.

"Hey, guys!" Korn, who is walking beside him, screams, bringing him back from his thoughts.

Korn is almost running towards Pran and that one guy Pat didn't recognise in the video Pran showed him. Pat follows Korn promptly.

He and his sister moved back to the apartment in the residence two days ago. He has seen Pran in the hallway to their rooms. Guess the luck? They are neighbours! Gosh, how life works...

"Tell me if you need some help."

That's all Pran said to him after the towel accident.

He kept messaging him, but the messages had lost the seduction from that night. Maybe he got tired of keeping up with the facade. Though he wasn't letting the prank die, now it was more similar to how it was before he left. And Pat was enjoying it. He had learned new things about Pran from the music he now listens to being in Architecture and class monitor. Pat wasn't surprised. Pran has always had a big artistic side mixed with a talent for mathematics and geometrics. Not as good as Pat, of course! Well… He had to admit Pran was way more artistic than him.

"Hi, bab—Pat!" Pran greets, "Force of the habit..."

Pran is acting strange. A little more restless around Pat and more... Maybe, cautious? Pat sits in front of him. Not that he believes in Pran's prank, but Pran has this sincere face always with him.

"What are two good-for-nothing engineers doing on our side of the campus?" asks the guy from the video.

Pat's eyebrows knit together. This guy puts the hair on his nape on alert. But, strangely enough, Korn doesn't seem to mind.

He barks a laugh and leans with his hands on the bench, "Obviously, I came to see the beautiful architecture girls."

His head bends back while he looks at a group of beautiful girls at the next table and winks. Some laugh, but the majority roll their eyes at him. Pat smiles at the interaction.

He feels Pran's eyes on him and glances back at him. Fuck those eyes again! Pat can admit that Pran is handsome. No. That was already well known to him. It isn't just that... It is that Pran manages to attract him. Just a little bit! But it is there. That faster heartbeat every time he sees him. He has always looked for him within the crowd. Always had a feeling of fulfilment when he found him. Probably because he had to keep his guard up every time they were together because of all the teasing and fights. It was a basic survival instinct. Just that.

Never mind, that is not the point. The point is his heart condition. The rhythm gets faster when he sees him, and it gets a little different when he looks him in the eyes. Temperature-wise, as well. Warmer and excited. Could also be a basic survival instinct, no? But when Pran throws him his side dimpled smile, something happens in the pit of his belly. Something cold then hot. He doesn't even need to mention how the image of Pran naked hasn't left his head since then. Or how he masturbated that night just to the image of him and then felt guilty. He saw everything, everything. Not in as much detail as he used to see in the locker rooms, but more than what he used to see there. It brought back to him that fantasy he had when he was younger. It left him with such a dreadful feeling of guilt and shame that he kept it out of his fantasy records for too long.

Altogether, it made enough proof for Pat to agree he was a bit attracted to Pran. The rest was survival instinct for all those years of rivalry. Just that.

But Pran's eyes...

Aaargh!

Gosh! He has to get out of here!

"Meung! Where are you going?" Korn asks when he notices Pat is leaving. "Home."

"Why? It's still so early!"

Pat keeps walking away but is stopped, not by Korn, as he initially thought, but by this petite girl.

"Phi, I wasn't expecting to see you on this side of the campus!"


Masturbate without guilt!

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