The Sweet Spots


"And I'm almost done!" Lincoln smiled as he looked at the operation plan written on the mattress. "Eight months of constant thinking were worth it; now the Sweet Spot will be mine!"

The boy's quiet jubilation was interrupted by a small glow emanating from that same folder.

"Just in time." Lincoln muttered to himself. He began to see a small pattern: a new part would unlock just before it started.

Sighing, putting the mattress back, and making the bed, he began to read.

"Okay, what do we have here? Oh, it's almost right before the trip. I'm contacting Clyde... and I understand that I haven't decided who I will sit next to..." He looked at the text in surprise for a few seconds, then pressed the folder to his face and groaned. "Brilliant Lincoln, 'you definitely didn't forget a bunch of important details... Okay, maybe the alternate me was able to solve this. Definitely not Luan, Lola, or Lynn. But Leni, yes. Next..."

"Linky!" Leni suddenly burst into his room, looking worried.

"Um, yeah, Leni?" Lincoln calmly put the folder on the bed, as he was not worried that his sister might be interested; she and Lily were the only ones whose sudden appearance Lincoln was not afraid of. Still, it will be strange for others if they see him reading the "invisible" text.

"Have you seen my sunblock?!" The blonde suddenly picked Lincoln up, inspecting his bed.

"Leni, we're not going to the beach." Lincoln answered sparingly; he looked at her sternly. "And put me back down."

"Thanks Linky!" Leni put her brother back, smiling, but then confusion appeared on her face. "But then, where are we going tomorrow?"

At first, Lincoln wanted to answer, but he realized that he himself didn't know. "Um, I don't know either; maybe they want to give us a surprise?"

"Oooh, I love surprises! You remember the surprise we gave for Lynn's birthday?" Leni asked, and the memory of this event made her rejoice.

"Yeah... that's right." In turn, for Lincoln (and the others), this surprise was not much of a surprise. A chance glance at the folder gave him an idea. "Hey Leni, can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything Linky...except socks with sandals." She noticed a blank look. "I've been having this nasty dream for several days now!"

"Try replacing your sandals with shoes?" Lincoln suggested, but then cleared his throat. "When we leave tomorrow, can you sit next to me?"

"Does my little Linky miss his big sister?" Leni hugged her blushing brother. "Of course I'll sit next to you!" Soon, she released him and left.

"Heh, good old Leni." Lincoln smiled. "You're almost knocking Luna out of first place. Okay, what do we have next?"

Taking the folder back, he read how he decided on the question of who would sit behind him and who would sit next to the person sitting behind him.

"They entered my room?! And how did they know about the plan?!" He could only look at the letters in surprise, but what happened next surprised him more. "Lisa knows about the sweet spot!?" After reading a little more, he put the folder aside. "And as usual, we start a fight, and Lynn threatens me with a bruise. But how could they find out?"

Now Lincoln was lying on the bed, actively trying to figure out how to avoid the early appearance of the sisters. He thought that the reason for revealing the plan was because he was actively asking the sisters to sit in a certain place. And Lisa. If she found out about the sweet spot eight months ago, then why didn't she try to do anything? Or knowing her nature, why didn't she tell everyone about this for the sake of some kind of experiment? Well, why did it take him so long to understand the obvious? If this had happened earlier, he could have taken the place for himself and explained that he liked it, and no one would have had any objections. Lincoln ran his hands over his face. "If only all places were normal, then..." A sudden realization came to his mind. "If all places are normal, then all places will be sweet!" Jumping out of bed, he ran out of the room.


"I don't know, Lincoln." Lana scratched her head thoughtfully. "Sounds cool, but..." She turned toward the house. "You know how much dad loves Vanzilla."

In a shared thought bubble, they imagined the whole family trying to pull away the chained Lynn Senior, screaming "Never!" from the car.

"I'm not suggesting replacing the car." Lincoln shuddered at the situation presented. "But can't we at least try to make the car... less bad?"

"I can fix the springs." Lana examined the jumping place. She took the gum from the other and took it into her mouth, causing disgust from her brother. "I think I need to store my gum supply somewhere else." She poked her finger into the wet seat and sniffed it. She grimaced at the smell. "Ew, this is going to be cleaned." She pushed the seat, and it tilted. "Hmm, if I had fixed you earlier, I wouldn't..."

"Hey, what are you doing, little dudes?" Luna approached them holding a boombox on her shoulder, from which music was playing. She didn't notice Lana's disapproving glance.

"We're trying to make the van something less like hell on wheels." Lincoln shrugged.

"Cool rocker name, bro; I should probably remember it." Luna ruffled her brother's hair. "Pops' car isn't that bad, except for the bad springs." She rubbed her thigh.

"You sleep with your headphones on at full volume most of the time; obviously, that's fine for you." Lana responded a little hostilely.

"As if that's a bad thing. What upset you?" The rocker noticed the tomboy's mood.

"You almost flattened me into a pancake!"

(Flashback)

"So that's how Cliff felt when I accidentally sat on him." Lana thought at the same time as she tried to remove the leaning back of the seat that was pressing on her, on which the sleeping Moon was also lying.

Lana looked at Lola with pleading eyes. The princess tried to remove the rocker from her twin, but the abrupt stop caused her to fall from her seat, screaming.

(End flashback)

"Oops." Luna smiled guiltily. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you a speed bump." She turned off the boombox and put it on the ground. "In my defense, it was Luan and Lynn that made me want to rest last time."

(Flashback)

Luna was sitting in a relaxed position, listening to music with her eyes closed, when she suddenly felt a poke. Opening her eyes, she looked at Luan sitting to her left; she was talking to her puppet. Looking to the right, Luna saw a bored Lynn, who saw her look and asked with a raised eyebrow, "What?"

Thinking that it was her imagination, Luna closed her eyes but again felt a poke. Looking at Luan again, she saw a sly smile on her face, and Mr. Coconuts looked from her hands to the Luna. Lynn also smiled and tried to hide her gaze from her sister.

Sighing languidly, Luna closed her eyes again and felt a poke again - not just one, but two. "Will you two stop it!?" She shouted, causing the others to flinch and look at her with displeasure.

(End flashback)

"I knew it was a bad idea." Luna sighed. "I would have sat in another place, but there were some scientifically nasty things from Lisa; I didn't want to risk the fact that I would grow a tail."

"Ugh, I think I understand now." Lincoln ran a hand over his face.

"Is sitting next to Luan and Lynn a bad idea?" Lana, still chewing gum, stood next to him.

"It's already a bad idea to sit with them separately." He exhaled. "We're moving away from the topic, Lana. Tell me what most often brings you discomfort when driving, the car itself or one of us? Except Lola."

"Hmm..." The kid put her hand on her chin. "Well, probably the second one."

"What about you, Luna?" The boy turned to the rocker.

"I think the same." Luna shrugged.

"That's the point; it's not just the car that's bothering us." Suddenly, springs flew out of one of the seats. "Okay, I think it's equally. What am I talking about? Oh yes, rather, we need to choose suitable neighbors for ourselves so that we don't provoke each other."

"Um, explain, bro. I think I understand, but I want to make sure." Luna scratched the back of her head.

"Well, for example, a suitable neighbor for me is Leni, she is dizzy during the trip, and therefore there are no problems from her. Unlike, for example, Lynn, who has a reason to compete even in the number of cars passing by." Lincoln took out a piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to his sisters. It showed suitable and unsuitable neighbors for Lincoln.

"But I thought you liked sitting with us!" Lana pointed to the picture of herself and Lola on the table of unsuitable sisters.

"Well, actually, I like it." Lincoln put the paper back in his pocket. "Except for those moments when you fight with her for no reason." He crosses his arms.

"Link is right about that." Luna nodded. "I remember you two were sitting next to Lily and you were enjoying it, but then you suddenly got into a fight and made our baby cry."

Lana tried to say something, but she couldn't, and she turned away in shame.

"I think I went a little overboard." Luna sighed. She walked up to the kid and turned her around. "Lance, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to. But I still want to prove my point."

"Yeah." Lincoln walked up to them and patted Lana on the shoulder. "Your arguments make no sense; you are twins; you are the closest thing to each other."

"You're right..." Lana sighed. "But... we just can't control it; one casual glance and that's it."

"Come on." Luna turned Lana's face from sad to smiling. "I don't like to see sad faces. But seriously, a little effort and you yourself will consider your arguments stupid."

"Maybe." Lana smiled herself. "I think it's worth a try."

"That's the spirit, Lance!" Luna ruffled Lana's hair. "Let's polish dad's car."

Lana nodded and ran into the garage, leaving the older siblings alone.

"Wow, Luna!" Lincoln was delighted. "That was awesome!"

"When you have seven sisters and a brother, you need to be able to cheer them up at the right time." Luna smiled. "And you're learning this too, you're already making good progress, bro." She ruffled Lincoln's hair.

"Heh, thanks. Glad to know you can be counted on." Lincoln smiled back.

"What a day, huh?" Luna sighed. "It's just started, and I'm already emotionally tired, but we still need to convince the others."

"Dang it." Lincoln chuckled.


"And why would I agree to this?" Lori crossed her arms.

"Calm trips where no one will disturb you while texting your boyfriend?" Lincoln asked a theoretical question.

"Say no more!" Lori ran out of the room.

"It was easier than it seemed." The boy muttered to himself in surprise.

"Judging by Lori running around, you did it." A sudden voice behind Lincoln made him jump in fear. Turning around, he saw that it was Lucy.

"Lucy, can you stop doing this before I have a heart attack!?" Lincoln ran his hand over his face.

"Sorry." She answered without changing her tone. "I convinced Lynn."

Lincoln took out a piece of paper from his pocket with a diagram of Vanzilla. It consisted of four rows; the first was divided into two, the rest into three. The first row was occupied by parents. The second was for Lori, Lucy, Lily, and Lisa: they were not bothered by constant supervision from their parents; Lucy enjoyed Lisa's list of accidents; Lily did not bother any of them. The third one went to Lynn, Leni, and Luan; the blonde agreed to have fun with the comedian and athlete, even if she usually gets dizzy during trips. And the fourth one goes with Luna, Lincoln, and twins: Luna could doze off or hum music in peace, Lincoln could read comics, and Lola and Lana agreed to try not to quarrel with each other.

"And we're almost there!" Smiling, he drew a tick next to Lynn; only Lisa remained without a tick. He gave Lucy a thumbs up. "Thanks Lucy!"

"Hey dudes." Luna entered the room. "It's done."

"Fast." Lincoln said in surprise.

"Lisa agreed even before I said anything and also added something about 'well, finally, behavior worthy of civilization.'" She chuckled. "Are we done?"

"Yup!" The boy checked the last box. "Operation Sweet Spots is a success!"


"This was the best trip I've ever had." Rita, satisfied, put her hands behind her head. "We're lucky we made it there."

"I agree, dear." Lynn Sr., who was driving, nodded in agreement. "And our Vanzilla did not let us down."

The woman just rolled her eyes at this, and so she accidentally looked out the rearview window: Lori was writing something on her phone. Lucy, with Lily on her feet, listened to Lisa, Lynn Junior and Luan used markers to draw a mustache and monocle for Leni, who helped them. Luna sang along loudly in her headphones. Lincoln was reading a comic book. And the twins sitting on either side of him lay on his lap and played rock-paper-scissors.

This sight brought a smile to Rita's face. She took out her phone and quietly took a photo. "This will need to be printed and framed." Realization came to her. "So that's why the ride is so peaceful."

"Did you say something, honey?" Her husband asked.

"Lynn." Rita said it quietly but sternly. "Why did the kids themselves fix the seats that I told you about when you should have done it?"

"Well, honey..." The senior hesitated. "This is my grandfather's car, and..."

"If I ask the kids and they say they were working on the car again, you'll be driving around in a seat with the springs flying out, the backrest leaning over, and all covered in urine. Is that clear?" She narrowed her eyes at her husband.

"Yes, sure." Lynn answered, the mention of the latter making him grimace.


"Silence!" Lori tapped her shoe on the nightstand. "Let's get this out of the way quickly; Bobby will call me soon. Today we had the quietest ride ever, thanks to the fact that we sat in a certain way. Who is in favor of sitting in the same or similar way every time?" Everyone, including her, raised their hands. "Unanimously. Now get out of my room!"

Everyone started to leave, and Leni was stopped by Lori's grip. "Leni, this is your room too; you don't have to leave... Just go wash the drawings off your face first."

"It's not a permanent marker, right?" Lynn asked Luan in a whisper.

"No." Luan replied with a wide smile. "But admit it, this will add color to her life! Get it?" She laughed.

Lynn groaned and closed the door.


Great Food Fight


Lincoln is quietly eating dinner when Lana suddenly pokes him in the face with a wiener.

He looked at her with a narrowed eye and a sly smile. "Are you sure you want this?"

She chuckled and tried to poke her brother again, but he suddenly twitched, and thus the weiner got into his mouth, and Lincoln thereby snatched the food from Lana, leaving her to look in surprise at her empty hand.

At the same time, he sharply turned his head in the other direction and hit Lola's wiener with his own.

She blinked in surprise, but a smile appeared on her face. "Good reaction. En garde, Linky!"

She tried to strike him with her Weiner, but Lincoln used his own to move her weapon down and snatch the weiner from her hands.

"Hey!" Lola objected, and Lana giggled.

"Pew-pow! And victory goes to Sheriff Lincoln!" He pretended to fire the Wieners at the twins and then, with a well-aimed throw, threw the food back onto their plates.

The twins and Lily applauded him, the baby laughed, took a fry in both hands, and, imitating the sounds of gunshots, pointed in the direction of Lucy and Lisa.

"That was cool, Lincoln!" Lana spoke enthusiastically, but then a misunderstanding appeared on her face. "But I thought you didn't really like playing with your food?" The rest turned to their brother, interested in the answer.

"Well..." He scratched his temple. "I just thought that I wanted to be at the adult table too early, and there's no need to rush and just enjoy it."

"Such an adult answer for such a childish question." Lisa commented with a faint smile.

"And there is no need to go to that table. Adults are surrounded by the darkness of boredom and an abyss of table manners." Lucy added.

"Yeah!" Lana nodded. "You can't even throw food like this!" She took the ketchup, pointed it at Lola, and squeezed.

Princess was unbaled to dodge the red stream and get all her face covered with ketchup. She muttered. "You will regret this, peasant!" Lola wiped most of the sauce off her face and used the rest to draw a monocle and mustache on her face. She took the spoonful of peas into her mouth. "Peashooter!" Lola began to fire at her twin, Lana blocked with her plate, and peas ricocheted at Lisa.

"The victim of crossfire has every right to return it." The scientist took out a small catapult, loaded mashed potatoes into it, and pressed the lever. But instead of hitting Lana, the catapult jerked sharply and shot at Lucy, Lisa awkwardly smiled. "It's just an unintentional design flaw."

"Your dinner won't survive until dawn." Lucy said it gloomily. "Feel the suffering of greenery!" She takes the broccoli in her hand and throws it at Lisa.

"Oh, what a wonderful dinner." Lincoln thought to himself as he watched his sisters pass food around. He just sat back down at the table and started drinking the milk he had just taken from the refrigerator. "It's nice to relax like that, knowing that nothing bad is waiting for me. The future me realized that there is no need to rush things, and I'll just follow his example." The food that hit him in the face did not upset him. On the contrary, taking the food that hit him and some from the plate, he chuckled and threw the food at Lola, causing her to sigh in shock.

Meanwhile, at the adult table, bored Luna and Lynn quietly whispered to each other.

"I never would have thought that I actually wanted to become deaf because of my dad's 'amazing' stories." Luna poked her dinner with her fork, uninterested.

"Yeah..." Lynn sighed. "I lost my appetite because of his romance advice." Her peripheral vision noticed a piece of food that had fallen into the door frame. She quietly poked her sister and pointed to what she saw. "Look!"

"It looks like the little ones are having a great time there." Lula tilted slightly to the side. "Wow, even Lincoln is with them; he usually wasn't."

"Dang it." Lynn grumbled. "I miss food fights so much!"

"Same thing, sis, same thing." Luna sighed. Looking towards her parents, she noticed that everyone except Leni was too focused on the story. She gently nudged Lynn with her elbow. "Hey, look at them. What about escaping quietly?"

Looking at her sister in surprise and then at the others, Lynn's face became excited. "Luna, you're a genius! Let's go!" Quietly getting up from the chairs and taking them and their plates, the girls slowly walked towards the younger siblings. At Leni's incomprehensible look, they answered with a "Shh..." Blondie just shrugged at their behavior and continued eating.

When they get through the door frame, they attract everyone's attention. "Hey little dudes, mind if we land next to you?" Mashed potatoes flew into Luna's face.

"I think in Lily's language, that means yes." Lincoln said that and threw a pea at Lynn.

"Oh yeah!" Lynn quickly sat down at the table and said, "Now the ex-queen of the food fight will show that she is still worthy!"

"Only from my cold hands." Lucy picked up the ketchup threateningly.

"There can only be one queen!" Lola added.

"The Coalition of Mind and Mud doesn't think so." Lana was loading Lisa's catapult.

"Well Lily." Lincoln gave his baby sister fries. "It's time to show what we're worth!"

Soon they started throwing food at each other, having fun and enjoying the game.


Hey, it's me. Got another part for you. Sorry for the big pause; now I have more free time.

So, there are sweet spot and tables episodes. I'm not sure how well I change them, so I want to know your opinion.

I have bad news; I quit... and go to Archive of Our Own.

Why?

I don't want to write my stories here anymore. It physically and emotionally hurts me to do this here. Like, a bunch of text morphs into one giant blob and misses part of himself, and he even duplicates 4 times and misses even more of my sanity. So I just don't want to spend like 50% of my writing time fixing this... nonsense... And yeah, this happens in every part of the story. And because of that, this part may have problems with spelling and other errors; I just don't want to risk it again (I already lost more than an hour because of that).

So expect this story to appear soon on AO3.

Signed, DaedricOver