DISCLAIMER: Code Geass and its characters belong to Sunrise, Inc.

Sirs Rittenberg and Hochstein are original characters by Anonymous Author, whose work inspired this fic.


09. Trust and Choices

"She's alive, isn't she? And you know where she is?"

Lelouch pulled his firearm and aimed it at Sir Rittenberg, one of his knights' head before the question -- more of a statement -- was completed. Internally, he cursed himself; his action not only revealed the truth about this secret, but also his willingness to do whatever it took to keep it that way.

"What gave it away?' he asked, no longer bothering to deny it. Jeremiah already warned him once before, that his knights might recognize tells that even he was unaware of, stemming from his knights' closeness to him. Admittedly, he hadn't given it much thought, hoping that the irregularities in their routines could be chalked up to his duties as viceroy-to-be. Clovis noting a change in his mood should have been more than enough of a trigger for him to more proactively protect his secrets, but he had been more than lax. Especially if Sir Rittenberg managed to piece together what he was up to on his own. He should at least be able to prevent this secret from spreading further.

"Nothing straightforward," his knight replied. "Prince Clovis' comment about your mood got me thinking, that you weren't in that kind of mood since the Institute. When she was still with us."

"Go on," he prompted.

"Then I recalled the little things. You were irritable when you had more work to do before your offsite inspections, but always came back calmer after them. You still had that stern face on, but the air around you was lighter.

"And one time, I caught a whiff of women's perfume around you. It was subtle, so I don't think others would've noticed. Though Sir Hochstein might've, I don't think he'd think of her."

"What made you?"

"She was important to you. I doubt you could replace her so soon after all that happened. Drugged though I was, I saw everything that day. How she fought them all off--she was magnificent! I was also aware when you invoked your Divine Right, saw the fury in your face when you did, and how that faded when she opened her eyes.

"Hochstein probably still thinks she was just a distraction to you, but I saw what I saw. No other woman could have that effect on you."

"So you know two of my secrets. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now?" They ware already parked at the site of one of his so-called offsite inspections, though they had yet to disembark from their vehicle.

"If you want to protect her, Your Highness, you should kill me," came the reply. If Lelouch was surprised by the response, he didn't show it. "Your father has ways to ensure the loyalty of those around him. He has a way to draw out people's secrets, as well. I can't guarantee that I won't end up telling him this, now that I know. Although, while we we're here in Area Eleven, those secrets will stand a better chance of staying secret."

"Explain."

"I haven't been able to recall how it's done, or what I've been forced to reveal, but I'm sure it only happens while I'm in the Emperor's presence."

"How do you know you revealed anything if you can't recall any of it?"

"I don't. Just," he gulped audibly, "what happened after."

Lelouch could imagine. If he was the sole keeper of a secret and that secret was suddenly compromised after meeting with the emperor, he could come to the same conclusion. His thoughts briefly went to Jeremiah's story about his mother's failed escape attempt, when his knight spoke again.

"Sire? Before you pull the trigger, can you at least tell me...

"Is she in good health? Is she living free?"

"Yes," he replied after a tense few seconds. Sir Rittenberg released the breath he was holding and closed his eyes, awaiting his judgement.

Lelouch pondered at the information he had just learned. His father was capable of extracting secrets. Sir Rittenberg was a witness to his invocation of his Geass. He also knew him well enough to figure out Kallen's survival with only Clovis' comment as his starting point.

His knight was right. He should kill him.

But then he recalled the vision he saw when he used his Geass on Jeremiah. The man had either stood behind Kallen as her killer, or knelt in front of her as her protector. In the latter image, another knight was kneeling beside Jeremiah, though his face was obscured because his head was bowed low.

In hindsight, between his two knights, Sir Rittenberg always had a soft spot for Kallen. He treated her as a traitor should be treated, true, bt not as badly as Sir Hochstein did. If he truly had come to respect Kallen as a person, could the second knight in his vision be him? Should he spare him as an ally in keeping the aces up his sleeve secret? Should he take the chance that the Emperor's "method' did require being in his fearsome presence and could not affect them from across the ocean?

"Your Highness?"

Lelouch holstered his pistol. "You're right, but you're also wrong. Killing you now would protect my secrets, yes, but would also raise suspicions. I'd rather not have that inconvenience at this point in time. Besides, who else can I trust to drive me back home after I'm done here?"

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Who else knows what you have just told me?"

"No one, Your Highness."

"Make sure it stays that way. If my father summons you--"

"I'll go to you first, Sire."

"Good," he acknowledged. He was still uncertain if he should trust the knight fully, but the man had been honest enough o reveal to him what he knew and to place his life in his hands. He was made aware of holes in his blanket of secrecy, and he needed to patch the all. He truly needed all the allies he could pool, and he hoped the knight could truly become one of her protectors.

"Now, to business."

-.o.0.o.-

Did he really make the right choice?

The businessman in him would reply that he wouldn't see the answer to that question this soon. These sorts of choices were only revealed to be right or wrong based on the long-term results. It was barely twenty-four hours since he made the choice that he was currently mulling over.

He checked his watch one more time. Prince Lelouch should have arrived by now, based on his departure time from the Viceroy's Palace. He took a calming breath. This was the first time for the prince to take this route. It would only be logical that he would take time to check if he had done everything as instructed.

Except said route would present so much temptation for someone in his position. He wouldn't put it past him to--

The sound he had been waiting for finally came. Lord Stadtfeld checked his composure before standing at the exit of the hidden elevator. Sharing this hidden route to Stadtfeld Manor exposed not just a means to escape a threat, but a means to defend or destroy the entire Tokyo Settlement. It had been a stroke of good fortune that he had gained knowledge of it, and he had been developing it in order to protect what was important to him.

Even if it turned out that the Empire itself was the threat he would need to protect them from.

When Prince Lelouch vi Britannia spoke as soon as he had alighted, his concerns were all but erased.

"Someone once told me," he said, "that we all have someone or something we desire to protect. Between the two of us, my lord, we share one in common."

Still, he couldn't resist asking, "Are you saying that as Lelouch Lamperouge, or Lelouch vi Britannia?"

The younger man scoffed. "A fair question. Both, my lord."

He raised an eyebrow. That was twice in a row that he was referred to as "my lord". As a prince, he was expected to refer to the nobles by their name, not in deference as he did.

"'Sir' will do, Lelouch."

"Yes, sir."

"What kept you?" he asked, raising his other concern while he led them both outside the manor's private chapel.

"My knight had some concerns," the younger man replied. "They have been addressed."

"Future problems?"

"A new accomplice."

"Is that wise?"

"He understands that he can't know any more than what he already knows. He is also prepared to do what's necessary to prevent anyone else from learning of them."

"I see," he hummed. "To be honest, though, I think it's good that you've found a confidant." On Lelouch's questioning glance, he continued. "While it is true that secrets will have a greater risk of leaking out the more people you share it with, the burden of it will eat at you until you become unable to keep them. Having a confidant -- or accomplice, as you said -- at least makes it a little less lonely."

Indeed, it had been a difficult choice to keep these secrets hidden from his own family. He eventually decided to include Naoto just before the mission that claimed his life. He had planned on revealing it to Kallen, too, but Prince Lelouch got to her first. The irony of sharing those same secrets to the man who once threatened his daughter's life was not lost on him.

Finally out in the corridor that led to the main hall, he once again turned to the younger man. "This corridor is under constant watch, so anyone that hasn't been cleared to pass through will be dealt with. Kallen and Shirley generally stay away by their own choice, though if they become curious all of a sudden, they would be prevented from doing so.

"Also," he added, "I'd appreciate it if you could make sure they don't follow you here on your way back."

Lelouch nodded. "I understand."

"I need to get back to work. Will you be able to find your way?"

"I believe so, yes."

"I'll see you later, then."

-.o.0.o.-

Shirley looked up from the book she was reading to see Prince Lelouch approaching the gazebo where she and Kallen were at. She quickly raised a finger to her lips to sign for silence, as not to disturb the currently napping Kallen.

"She was hoping to surprise you," she quietly explained once he was close enough to hear, "but she tired herself out waiting for you."

"I see," he responded just as quietly. Shirley watched the gentle expressions on his face as he gazed at Kallen's sleeping form, currently making use of her new wheelchair's reclining function. He momentarily raised a hand as if to reach for something, but changed his mind and let his hand drop back down to his side. A moment later, he turned to her.

"Can we talk? I've been wanting to ask you some things."

Here we go, she thought, having expected this moment to come eventually. She nodded, then gestured for him to follow her, as not to disturb Kallen's slumber. She led him a ways from the gazebo, far enough to not be heard by Kallen, but still easily seen by her in case she came awake. Though she hasn't been having any episodes of late, it didn't hurt to take whatever precautions they could. Satisfied with their position, she gestured for the prince to speak.

"What was it like when she woke up?" he asked, his voice tentative.

She took a breath before replying. "I wasn't around in the first few days, but they said she was catatonic at first. Then she started having her PTSD episodes. It later became trial and error on what triggered them, with tranquilizers injected into her to end them. When Lord Stadtfeld asked me to visit later that week, we learned that she recognized me even during the peak of those episodes, and she would come out of them on her own. Since then, I stayed with her.

"We," she paused, hesitating on what she was about to reveal, but went ahead. "We started talking about our days in the Academy, and it was clear that she had lost some of her memories. Most of them were memories as a rebel against Britannia," she paused once again, giving the prince a sideways glance, "and her time with you."

"Her father did mention that you went to school together."

"Yes," she affirmed, "we were even in the student council together. Though when I first saw her draped over your shoulders, made me realize how little I actually knew her."

"That was my fault," he admitted, much to her surprise. "I killed her friends, kept one hostage, then forced her to kill them anyway for her own survival.

"Which I now regret," he added at her shocked gasp. "I had been more than cruel to her."

"Then how," she blurted out, having been carried away by the shock from the prior revelation. "Why?!"

When the prince gave her a confused look, she went on to explain, though she couldn't put words to what she was referring to in the first place. "What drew you to each other? How was it that despite the cruelty you showed her, she insisted on staying with you?!"

She gasped once more before looking toward the ground, ashamed at her outburst. It wasn't her place to ask, was it?

Better the devil you know, she recalled her friend saying that time, another world ago. She didn't believe her, then.

She looked back up just in time to catch the prince absently touch his fingers to his lips. He immediately dropped his hand when he noticed her watching him.

"I suppose we found common ground."

Whatever else she had wanted to ask was put on hold whey they both heard Kallen come awake from her nap. Laughter was exchanged between Kallen trying to tame her bed head, and her teasing Shirley for hogging Lelouch's attention.

For now, though, there was something else she needed to say.


Again, this place.

Over the course of each of Lelouch's visits, she had come to observe a pattern in her own arrivals to this place. When Lelouch visited and only had time for a short chat, her nights would pass uneventfully. When he stayed long enough for a board game or helping her re-train her body, she got a nightmare. If she had especially enjoyed his company, Lelouch would be more evil in those nightmares.

Yet, on days that Lelouch hadn't entered her thoughts even once, she would dream about him being alone, half naked in the darkness. Granted, she didn't enter this "gallery" during those dreams, but it also fell into a pattern of its own. Once, she was able to approach him close enough to see the scars on his back. The sight had made her dream self gasp, and dream-Lelouch whirled, screaming "who's there?!" in the darkness, though he never seemed to see her.

Lelouch in her waking moments.

Lelouch in her dreams and nightmares.

Yet another frame was shimmering ahead of her. By now she had learned to let it play out. She closed her eyes in surrender and reopened them to find herself naked--no, stripped-- and surrounded by uniformed men. Lelouch simply stood there while she was being pushed to her knees. Someone tied her hands behind her back, as well as her ankles.

"Fuck her," they commanded. She looked up to see Lelouch approach, his pants already undone. When she saw his face, however, he was pleading with her, not at all enjoying what was happening.

"Enough!" she screamed, and the scene she found herself in was shattered instantly. She was once again standing in the middle of the gallery.

"Whoever you are that's showing me al this," she called, her voice echoing through the vast space, "for whatever reason, you can just stop! I'll be making my own choices. I'll be making my own decision based on what I personally learned about Lelouch. So you can just stop all this!"

In the silence that followed, the framed images around her gradually receded to reveal a wall quite a distance ahead of her. Upon that wall was a narrow frame with a width and height not unlike that of a full-sized portrait. Unlike the rest of the frames within this gallery, however, the canvas was pitch black.

"No," she declared. "I've had enough." With that, the gallery gradually faded away. The pitch black frame was the last to remain, before it, too, faded away.

"As you wish," she heard a familiar voice say before finally waking up. She simply laid there on her bed for a few moments before sitting up. Her dream having ended the way it did, she took a few moments to understand how she felt about this development. It strangely felt like something had been removed from her. It wasn't a bad feeling, in fact it wasn't a feeling of something missing. It was like something that usually took a long time to resolve itself -- perhaps like a cold -- was suddenly gone. It was a strange sort of relief.

Finally deciding that she wasn't feeling unwell, and that she won't be falling back asleep anytime soon, she reached beneath her bed to pull out a small wooden box and placed it upon her lap. She undid the clasps and pulled out the project she started soon after Shirley left to visit with her parents. She wasn't entirely sure why she wanted to keep this project secret from her friend, but she was sure she wanted to finish it no matter what.

She also hoped that Lelouch would appreciate it.


A/N: Sincerest apologies for the long delay. It got so busy that I didn't notice that two months had already passed. Just one more chapter before the timeskip part that I wrote backwards.

As usual, feedback is greatly appreciated!

~ryder77