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With much love,

Ain


Chapter 7 - Spy

Tris POV

I pace back and forth in our room and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. We are all back in our room for another screaming match, and it's getting exhausting. Tobias, Tori, Harrison and in one corner of the room, and Tobias is leaning casually against one of the walls, while Tori is sitting on the counter top and Harrison has his arms crossed over his chest. In another corner of the room, Christina and Cara are discussing animatedly about Tobias's request to join them on the mission. Christina no longer has a hard look in her eyes towards me, and somehow, I feel a bit of the pressure coming off of my chest, just not seeing that look in her eyes. She is working on forgiving me, and we can work together towards repairing us. It will be okay.

Cara also no longer has a incredibly narrow look in her eyes, probably thanks to Christina. Zeke and Bud are discussing amongst themselves, probably also because of the mission. Lauren is sitting on the couch, saying things to Eris that I cannot hear through my observing.

Ava and Uriah and Kyra are laughing in another corner of the room about something Uriah said. For some reason beyond my knowledge, Uriah is here, even though he has no key in our plan for attack. I notice Tamsyn isn't in the room. Weirdly. Maybe she was at dinner?

Beyond that, we were the only ones here, the people directly involved with the plan of attack. I think Uriah is in here by Zeke's request. I am in here by Tobias's attack. I have no real role in this attack, and it is making me incredibly restless. I don't want to kill another person; the memory of the last simulation is too fresh on my mind. But I would rather defend our faction than sit here like sitting ducks.

I tune back into Lauren's talking. She is explaining the process of our Dauntless initiation to him, and I can see the awed look in his eyes, a sparkle that is one of a kind. I wonder if I had the same sparkle in my eyes when I first fired a gun, or first arrived at Dauntless.

"Tris, what were you ranked in initiation?" Eris asks, and I clear my head, trying to focus on their talking.

"I was first." I say.

Lauren nods, grinning. During initiation and the simulation and afterwards, I never really engaged with her, but she relaxes now, in a comfortable position. What I have learned from her in my short interactions is that she is one of the shyest Dauntless I have met. "Ranked above my initiates, huh?" she teases, elbowing me gently.

I laugh, and it feels strange, but good at the same time. "Sucks for Uriah," I say, and Eris grins.

I hear a clap echo through the room and everyone goes silent. "Alright everyone!" Tori shouts. Harrison moves towards her, but my eyes are on Tobias. His head is tilted in a different direction, watching Tori's announcement.

"Thank you all for coming here today. We are here to discuss our plan of attack, and to acknowledge the loss we suffered from last night. Or should I say, this morning." Tori clears her throat and I glance around. There are tears in eyes all around the room.

The Pedrad brothers's aunt, dead.

Amar, coma.

Tori's best friend, dead.

Marlene is shot, but I did not tell Tobias. I was afraid of the deaths weighing too heavily on his mind, especially with his concussion.

I try to run a mental list through all our friends, family, oh my God, why...

Zeke, Shauna, Hana, Lynn, Uriah, safe. Christina, Cara, safe. Ava, Kyra, Eris, Lauren, Bud, safe. Harrison, Tori, safe. Thank God Tobias is safe too.

But even though all of our friends suffered from the battle, Marlene's bullet wound was in her leg, like Tori. Amar is in a coma. George has a bullet in his back but is recovering. And then where the fuck is Tamsyn? Even though she was slightly cold, I don't want her to be damn dead.

I tune back into Tori's announcement. "Tomorrow, the following people will depart Dauntless on a mission, led by Four. Christina, Cara, Bud, Lauren, and Zeke." I see everyone nodding. "This information is classified. Meaning, no one besides this select group is allowed to know." she adds, narrowing her eyes at Uriah, known for being a loud one. But all he does is give Tori a thumbs up and a big smile, eliciting some chuckles from the room.

"Furthermore, we have appointed two new leaders, and will announce them to the rest of Dauntless later. Zeke and Ava, please give them a warm welcome." More hoots, and sounds, and cheering, and I wonder, why are Dauntless so loud, with so few people in a room?"

"Finally, if you hear your name, please stay afterwards. Kyra, Uriah, Tris, we need to notify you of some things."

I feel everyone's eyes on me once again, and I try to catch Tobias's eye, but he doesn't look at me. For a second I feel rising panic inside of me. What happened? I try to brush off the unnerving feeling, but it does not escape me.

"Thank you for meeting, and I'll leave Tobias to discuss with his group on some things before you all will depart tonight. Eris and Ava, you two are free to go, as well as Harrison. Thank you." I hear her voice catch and she turns away. Her brother was shot, and for once, I can understand Tori's pain right now, even through her face she puts on for everyone.

She once thought her brother was dead, but now he is alive, and I bet she cannot go through his death again. She is also grieving for her dead best friend, and I can understand her pain, and grief, and I ache for her with sympathy. She is so strong. Stronger than I am.

I feel an ache for Marlene too, and Amar. Marlene, the sweet girl whom shot at muffins, a happy, bundle of sunshine. Amar, Tobias's instructor, I do not know well, but he is so kind, and positive. And then poor Hana, oh God, she is suffering so much through her sister's death.

I follow Kyra and Uriah absentmindedly to Tori and we gather around her in a circle. "The thing is." Tori begins in a low voice. "We have one more part to our plan."

I raise my eyebrows and glance at Uriah and Kyra. This was not told to me before, and the confusion on their faces is evident as well.

She says, " I am putting my trust in you three. You three will be leading what is similar to what Four is doing; a small group of people you individually trust, and will be the backup plan in case Four and his group have something that happen to them. Me and Ava and Harrison will stay to defend Dauntless, but we trust you three to take care of that in case we need your help. Can you do that?"

I glance at them. I feel the guilt from Will's death on my shoulders; I feel the rush of freedom of firing a gun; I feel the courage surging like a river through me when I jumped into the net, and I feel the pride when I saw my first ranking. "I'm in." I say. Tori gives me a small smile, and I return it.

"I am, definitely in." Uriah says, with his normal bounciness, and we all grin.

"I'm glad you invited me, because I'm so excited to do this." Kyra adds, enthusiasm in her voice. I smile.

"I'll leave you guys to discuss it then. Don't tell me or Harrison or Four or Ava or Zeke who's in your group; that way if any of us are captured, it will be safer, as we won't know the names. Okay?"

We all nod. Uriah and Kyra slowly wander away, but I stay with Tori, and surprise is written on her face.

"What happened to Tamsyn?" I ask boldly, surprising myself with my direct question. Tori's eyebrows shoot up, and it is evident that my boldness shocks her as well.

"What about her?" Tori asks, quickly recovering.

I lock eyes with Tori and give her a stare. "You know why I am asking, don't you? There's a reason why she is not here tonight. And you never told me why Amar got shot in the back."

Tori's eyebrows raise even higher, which I did not know was possible. "Perceptive." she says thoughtfully, her eyes creasing her forehead.

I stare at her. "Answer my question. What happened with Tamsyn?"

Tori sighs, all the fight leaving her with the breath releasing. "Arrested on involvement as a Erudite spy. For what reason, we don't have any idea, and what makes it so confusing is that she's from outside the fence."

My breath caught, and I can't feel my airways, as everything spins, and I fight to regain control. Spy, spy, spy. Another traitor revealed inside of Dauntless, this is and was never going to end well, a forever cycle of corrupt traitors and spies.

My eyebrows furrow as I catch onto what she said. "She is outside the fence, and has been for at least two years." I say. "How would she have been helping Erudite plan the simulation and this 'thing'," I use air quotes, "two years ago?"

I fight off the rising panic that is closing around my throat, tightening and threatening to choke me.

Tori looks behind her. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, Stiff, because this is classified," she says, looking behind her, "but I guess you're trustworthy. From what we have determined from her, she is a spy for Erudite. What we have also determined is that she works under Jeanine, and Jeanine works under some other person. However, we have no idea who this person is, which is what makes this so difficult."

There is a harsh gleam in her eyes, and I recognize it. It is frustration and anger and so many other things, and it leads to recklessness, and I can see it in her eyes. "So you're telling me," I say, "Tamsyn is a spy for Erudite, which is operated by Jeanine, but Jeanine is taking orders from another mysterious figure?" A hysterical laugh bubbles inside of me and I push it down. Of course. Of course Jeanine is taking orders from another person. It makes no fucking sense but so much damn sense at the same time.

Tori nods, looking reluctant to confirm it, and another bout of hysteria rises. God, this keeps on happening. The Dauntless traitors, the defected leaders, Tamsyn...

I feel her explaining to me the truth. Tamsyn in the midst of the battle, revealed herself as a spy for Erudite, in hopes of making the Dauntless shocked enough to give the traitors the upper hand. However it failed and the Dauntless began shooting at her instead. Each side struggled to capture her until the Dauntless did, but the struggle ended with Amar getting shot accidentally.

"We've contacted Candor for truth serum for interrogations." Tori says. "We exepect them to comply with our demands, and we'll get a reply tonight, after Four and his team depart."

I nod, and I feel a warm hand rest on my left shoulder, and I don't need to turn to know it is Tobias.

"Hello." Tori says, and I feel him nod. "I was just telling Tris about the revelations that we learned from Tamsyn. I'll leave you two alone now."

"Thank you." Tobias says quietly and I feel Tori's eyes search my face before turning to go find Harrison and Ava.

I turn around and I feel his hands envelop around me. I rest my head against his chest. I hear his heartbeat and I remember when his arms were enveloped around me the same way, hearing his heartbeat thumping, inside of the fear landscape.

"You didn't tell me." I say.

"I didn't have the time to." he says, and his voice sends tingles up my spine. "We visited Tamsyn in the holding cells right before coming here. That's when Tori suggested for you to be in charge of a Dauntless distraction group and we agreed, and suggested for you to work with Uriah and Kyra."

I feel him sigh and exhale a breath of my own. "I'm sorry." he says quietly.

I shrug with my left shoulder. "It doesn't really matter now. I got the truth either way." I shift so I can look up into his eyes, and they are a blue, with a faint white sparkle as he smiles, and I trace my hand down the curve of his back, touching each spot of where I know the factions are, every faction symbol, that I have memorized the exact place of them. We are being too intimate here, but I don't really care. I trace the scar on his forehead, which he covered with his hair. The doctor said it will probably heal and it probably won't leave anything permanent. I am aware of how close together we are now, and how i can feel our heartbeats together, and our breaths as one. And then I reach up and kiss him, and I feel the heat, and I feel the energy, and everything in between, and this time, I don't rush it. I savor it, because I know we won't have this again, after he leaves.


We watch them step outside of the compound, all of them armed, and dressed lightly, each of them with several guns or knives. I don't watch them; I watch Tobias, who has a steel in his eyes, but I can also see the uncertainty and all the emotions raging behind his facade.

Everyone is saying their goodbyes, and I try to give my friends their goodbyes first. I approach Lauren, whom I didn't know well, but she was loyal this entire time, and was kind to me.

"Don't die." I say. Lauren grins her smile. She is quieter than Ava. "I won't." she replies, and offers a handshake. I grip it and try to move it up and down and she laughs softly. She turns in a way that makes it look like she is giving me a hug, but she lowers her head and whispers in my ear, "visit the ones in the holding cells, and look for a man named Henric. He is a ex Dauntless leader and my ex best friend. Make sure to interrogate him."

"Stay safe." she adds a bit louder, winking at me before disappearing into the crowd. I try to process the revelation as I turn to find Tobias behind me.

I embrace him one more time, trying to savor it, trying to make it last, but this will never hurt less, and I feel the emptiness after we separate.

"Don't leave me." I say. And I don't mean leaving me to defend Dauntless and infiltrate Erudite.

"I would never do that to you." he says, and I hear the ache in his voice. I give him a kiss. There isn't anything else to say.

"Stay resistant and strong, Tris." he says. I grasp his hands and I give the others smiles, and then they are gone. They are gone, and I don't know if I will see them again.


I feel the steps echo as my combat boots clang on the metal stairs, descending slowly down. I glance at the walls, with lights, casting long shadows.

"What, scared of the dark?" Ava teases, but she also grips the railing. I am getting the impression that Lauren and Ava, although best friends according to Tobias, are opposites in personality, with Ava resembling the Pedrad brothers more.

"Not at all." I say, and continue down. I feel my foot reach solid ground and turn around as Ava also jumps from the second to last step.

Ava gives the Dauntless guard a grin and winks, but I simply ignore him, trying to look for the man Lauren called Henric, her best friend, her ex best friend. I suddenly wonder if Ava and Henric were also friends. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite Ava to escort me.

"Henric Fallon." Ava says. The guard nods and starts moving down one of the hallways. There are rooms on either side, with glass doors facing nothing, soundproof walls, and people staring into nothing, hearing nothing. I don't look at them, but when I pass the one with Tamsyn, I lock eyes with her and we stare at each other. Tension flickers in the room.

"C'mon." Ava says, pulling on my arm. I hadn't realized I had stopped and I tear my eyes off of her and follow the guard. He stops in front of one, containing a man with dark hair and empty gray eyes.

"The door locks from inside, and knock on the door when you want to be let out." The guard gruffly says, and unlocks the door for us to enter.

We hurry inside and I hear the lock slide shut, and the man turns to us, staring. I realize that if he had been given a shave, showered, and cleaned up, he could be quite handsome.

"Hello, Henric." Ava says, with less of her usual bounciness.

He turns and stares at her. "Ava. Good to see you." His lips curl into a half smile. He seems to notice me for the first time and studies my face.

"You're that Stiff's daughter." he says, narrowing his eyes. "Leader of the Stiffs." he lets out a short laugh and it sends coldness up my spine, crawling like spiders.

"What's wrong with that?" I snap at him. "I'm not here for your games." I add, giving him a cold stare.

He smiles and turns away. "That's what they all say." he whispers, closing his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Lauren said you were her friend." I say, also closing my eyes. I hear someone shift. I think it's Ava. "Why did you betray her?"

"Jeanine warned me you had three aptitudes." Henric says, his lips curling up into a smile again. I freeze. How does he know?

"You're lying." I say calmly. "Tell my why would you betray your best friend?" The words pop out and I don't know why. Partially because he won't tell me anyway, because I don't have the truth serum. But I think, Lauren and Ava at least deserve to know why their best friend left them.

He lets out a short laugh. "Out of all the questions, you ask me that? Why would I tell anyone, much rather a Stiff?"

I feel my fists clench. "Your friends deserve to know the answer as to why you betrayed them for such a bitch." I snap. I feel my cheeks grow hotter. This guy was just as bad as Eric was.

"A bitch? Jeanine? I would label her many things, but not a bitch." Henric says, opening his eyes again.

"I would label you many things, but I wouldn't label you a leader." Ava says, cutting in. "Your loyalty to her is nothing, you know. We're going to interrogate you and we will find the answer to everything. I promise, we will win."

She turns and I follow her. This visit was useless. But as Ava knocks the door and we step out, the last thing I hear is Henric saying, "You're wrong. You won't win. You have no idea what you're actually against."