Chell managed to slide out from the giant glass pipe onto her feet, her boots cushioning her nicely. Wheatley came out seconds later and landed with a thump on his behind.

"OUCH!" he hollered dramatically and rubbed his backside gingerly, "I think I might've broke my tailbone, I did." He pouted as Chell pointedly ignored him and handed him a pair of long-fall boots that had been set in the test chamber specifically for him.

He held them with a slight look of disgust, eyeing the simple test chamber they had been dropped into. "I can't believe we're doing this... you've gotta be kidding me."

Chell was incredibly displeased by the turn of events too and glared ruefully at the security cameras.

"I'm going to be a good sport and let your new partner warm up while you finish this first test involving deadly lasers and how test subjects react to being in a room full of deadly lasers," Glados smoothly recited, her voice reverberating throughout the room.

While Wheatley fumbled around with the portal gun, Chell finished the test in under a minute. It was laughably easy, despite the fear in the back of her mind of the damage these lasers could do. She was careful not to let any part of her body touch them... ouch.

Wheatley was firing his portal gun randomly around the room and she was intrigued that his portals glowed a darker blue and red than her light blue and orange ones. She tried to banish the shiver of excitement that ran through her as she considered the possibilities of accessing four portals. What was wrong with her? She wasn't actually enjoying this, was she?

No... she decided. The tests could easily end her life if she wasn't careful enough, and now she had to worry about Wheatley as well. He meant well, but he was obviously quite clumsy. She'd have to be extra careful from now on... plus Glados wasn't going to be as pleasant as before the whole mainframe exploding incident. In fact, she wondered why Glados simply hadn't ended the two intruders right then and there when she awoke. Instead, she had flung Chell and Wheatley back into the test chambers... why?

"Oh look, you're finished already. I forgot how good you were at this... and here come the test results now. You are a horrible person. That's what it says; a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that," Glados insulted her flatly.

Oh, so that's why. She was simply being childish and rubbing in the fact that she was sore over her previously being defeated at Chell's hands. Chell rolled her eyes as Wheatley ran to join her at the exit... Glados really was a child, wasn't she?

Glados spoke up again once Wheatley and Chell had crammed into the elevator, transporting them to the next test. "Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep."

Wow.

Wheatley patted her shoulder affectionately, "Ah, she's just jealous, luv. You've got all the good looks and she's got a creepy alien vibe goin' on that-" The elevator suddenly lurched to a halt and both test subjects were knocked off their feet.

Chell shot him a look, don't provoke her.

He seemed to get the idea and made a zipping gesture over his mouth. Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.

"Oh yes, I meant to tell you this earlier before you so hastily decided to kill me, thanks for that by the way. Most subjects come out of stasis pods incredibly undernourished, and after six years of stasis I wanted to congratulate you on beating the odds and actually managing to pack on a few pounds," Glados told her. Chell huffed slightly... why did the woman insist that Chell had killed her? It was slowly grating on her nerves.

Walking into the new test chamber was a little more overwhelming. Wheatley gasped in fear as they entered the vast area. It was poorly lit and absolutely filled with toxic goo, not including a couple areas of solid ground poking out of the sea of goo. What were they supposed to do here? There didn't seem to be any portal surfaces in the room...

She glanced down at a smooth metal contraption on the ground in front of her, then noticed a few more of them scattered throughout the place.

"This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not," Glados enlightened them. "Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world."

"Soaring through the air?" Wheatley exclaimed nervously.

Chell took a step toward the Aerial Faith Plate, ignoring her trepidation, and felt Wheatley grab onto her shoulders again. "Look, luv. That's probably a trap... it's gonna throw you right into the acid down there and we're both gonna die. I-I think we should just put our foot down and tell her 'no!'" he shook her slightly, panic in his voice.

She shot him another look, And then what? We sit here until she drops some turrets on us? Of course she couldn't voice any of that, but he got the idea and dropped his grip on her, covering his eyes.

Chell stepped onto the plate and was immediately flung high into the air, soaring through the chamber like a bird. If she could scream, she would have as she dropped disturbingly fast toward a chunk of floor in the acid pit. She landed on another plate and was flung again into the air, but this time sideways toward the wall.

She landed painfully on her side against the Aerial Faith Plate on the wall and was vaulted toward the other end of the chamber toward the exit. She grinned through the pain and enjoyed the rush of adrenaline the flying lesson had provided her. She landed perfectly balanced with her life-saving boots and shook with excitement. That was thrilling.

Chell turned around to wave at Wheatley. It's fine! Come on! The pain in her side was already dissipating.

As soon as Wheatley landed, the door slid open to take them to their next test. Wheatley whined and groaned as he rubbed his aching side. "What was the point of that wall plate for...? They should give us extra padding or something. Jeez, I coulda broke my arm!"

Chell and Wheatley entered the next chamber that was slightly similar to the one they had just left. Chell bit her lip as she noticed more Aerial Faith Plates lining the place... it was going to be dangerous and fun.

Wheatley just bounced with nervous energy, "Oooh, I really hate this. I do... look at all this! What are we even supposed to do here...?" he rambled.

"Sorry, I'm cleaning out these old test chambers, as we haven't used them in years. Sometimes there's trash in them, standing around, smelly. Being useless. Try and ignore the garbage hurtling toward you," Glados piped up.

Chell yanked Wheatley aside as storage cubes and various objects flew from plate to plate across the room toward them. A box landed right where Wheatley had been standing and he shrieked.

Together the two test subjects finished the entire test, Chell doing most of the work and Wheatley doing all the talking. She pointed to where he need to drop a portal and on they went.

"Wow, you're quite good at this! I wish- I wish I was a little more useful to you. I'm sorry, my deviation hasn't been any help so far," he ran his hand through his wavy hair. He had a sudden flash of insight and looked into Chell's eyes, "Oh, I never asked you... do you have a deviation? You are a test subject, after all!" his eyes lit up with excitement at the prospect.

Chell shook her head, sad to see his face droop in disappointment. "Ah well, you don't need one anyway... they aren't exactly all they're cracked up to be," he smiled again, "Plus, you're smart and lucky. You don't need a power with luck on your side."

She rolled her eyes and winked at him playfully, C'mon.

The exit door slid open and Glados spoke up, "You remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around and being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you."

"She has quite a way with words, doesn't she? Knows how to make a person feel all warm and cozy inside," Wheatley commented dryly.

Quite a few tests and insults later, Wheatley and Chell had been exposed to more Aperture Testing Mechanics, including hard light bridges (literally translucent blue bridges made out of pure sunlight, Aperture Laser Redirection Cubes, and funnels made out of pure energy that dragged you across the room slowly. Wheatley hated the funnels.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Glados, "You are a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of predators, I was doing some research on sharks recently. You know who else murders people who are only trying to help them...?" she inquired.

Chell didn't bother acknowledging her. Wheatley opened his mouth and she kicked him lightly to tell him to shut it.

"The answer is no one," Glados answered her own question, "No one but you is that pointlessly cruel."

Chell had to give Glados credit for her surprisingly imaginative insults... they would have been amusing if not directed at her. They had ranged from everything including insulting her jumpsuit, her weight (multiple times), her parents, her choice in idiot friends, the fact that she didn't have any real friends, and so on...

Although Chell tried not to listen, they still were draining her emotional energy... a person could only be talked down to for so long, after all.

Wheatley noticed her weary expression and gave her a warm smile and a thumbs up. She perked up a little and she strode into the next test with a little more spring in her step.

While solving the next test, they grudgingly listened as Glados hummed during the entire duration of the test. At the end she spoke again, "I have a surprise waiting for you after this test. I'll give you a hint: It involves meeting a couple people that you haven't met in a very long time..."

Chell's heart skipped a beat. She attempted to calm it; She's a liar. She's trying to provoke a reaction out of you like she always does. But she couldn't help but let her imagination wander even a little bit...

"I'm getting choked up just thinking about it."

Wheatley raised his eyebrows at her questioningly. She rolled hers in response and gave a slight shake of her head.

The elevator brought them to an old office room, deviating from the normal testing chamber routine. Chell and Wheatley walked in cautiously, holding their portal guns up as if expecting a trap.

"Initiating surprise in three... two... one."

The room plunged into darkness and they edged closer to one another, Wheatley letting out a squeak of fear.

A loud party horn echoed in the room, "Surprise!"

The lights flickered back on and a ton of confetti rained down from a pipe above their heads, covering the two test subjects.

Besides the disturbingly large amount of confetti littering the ground, there was nothing else in the room.

"I made it all up," announced Glados gleefully.

Chell tried to ignore the way her heart dropped slightly... she couldn't believe that she had even believed the lie in the tiniest slightest way. It was... horrible. Her dad was still dead.

She felt very much alone.

Wheatley gave a sigh of relief and slumped slightly, not noticing Chell's despondency.

"Oh come on. If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very much doubt they'd even want to see you again," Glados said with fake sympathy.

Chell scoffed, remembering that Glados knew nothing about her. Most of the information Glados seemed to think she knew was falsified or lacking, and Chell realized that Glados shouldn't have had a testing file for Chell in the first place. She had never been a test subject.

Odd.

Halfway into the next test, Glados spoke up again in order to ruin her test subjects' day. "You know, I kinda feel awful about that surprise... tell you what, how about we give your parents a call right now?"

A fake telephone rang, resonating in the chamber, and a fake voice answered, "The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up."

"Oh that's sad. But impressive... maybe they worked at the phone company," Glados mused.

"Wow, that's... that's a load of bad luck right there. Sorry, luv," Wheatley looked genuinely regretful as he looked to Chell.

She simply stared at him, wondering if he was seriously that naive or had a very thick layer of sarcasm. Chell really couldn't tell. Either way, it was kind of endearing.

She patted him lightly on the back and they headed on to their next test.


More Portal 2 filler...