Chapter 12: Chapter 12

"I saw you today doing something that I didn't... I didn't know..."

Crowley blinks once... and then again... and then again.

"W-What?" his voice barely comes out.

"Y-yes, well, I came here to eat without asking you... well..." he squirms.

But... he couldn't have seen him, I mean, they didn't meet until now in the restaurant. Did he go through the bloody bookshop before coming? BLOODY HELL! But everything was closed and why would he do such things, if it was clear that if they saw him there, he'd have to attack the bloody... Wait! AND HE DIDN'T ENTER? but... BLOODY HELL!

All the ideas rush into demon's mind at once, swirling and almost unable to separate one from the other.

You wanted him to come in and help you?!

That would have been nice! Yes, thank you.

It doesn't necessarily work like that! Aziraphale looks at him and his complicated train of thought that's evident.

But it could have! Crowley runs a hand through his hair... looks at him... and truthfully, he blushes.

Don't you dare blame him now for not entering after the SHOCK of discovering it.

Of course he dares!

Well, he shouldn't!

"A-At least you could have..." Aziraphale pauses. Invited, what he means is invited.

Crowley turns his face super uncomfortable and looks at him sideways with that, but he doesn't say it. Besides, how could he invite you if he hasn't even kissed you yet?!

Well, he says the same thing! You haven't given him a single kiss and you're already doing those things... those things with his body. Aziraphale clears his throat.

It wasn't supposed that he had to know!

That makes it even worse.

Oh, don't start with the drama now!

"I-It's just that I think your intention wasn't... that... I would ever know so..." the angel adds noticing him again.

"I was just... testing" Crowley shrugs. Yeah, right, testing. Four times.

"Testing?" Aziraphale looks at him with that and furrows his brow a little.

"Well, if you... I mean, it was just curiosity. And it was clear that you weren't going to try it..."

The angel stares at him for a few seconds. Crowley doesn't look at him. He's very interested in the sake bottle, he even picks it up to look at the label.

"You had... curiosity. And you waited for the only moment..." the angel adds.

"Was there another option? And it's not like I was... waiting."

"You could have talked to me about this!"

Crowley tilts his head and looks at him with a "yes, of course, and I could have let myself be run over too, but the results would have been similar." Aziraphale squints his eyes.

"And what would you have said?"

"That question isn't fair!"

"And that is what proves my point"

"What would you have asked exactly, Crowley? Can I do... this while you're not here? Can I... do this with you?" Aziraphale pauses.

"What?" Crowley blinks in disbelieve.

"What?" the angel repeats, not understanding.

"Do you think if I had thought I could... ask you, I would have wanted to do it alone?"

Boom.

"We're going from... eating at the Ritz and... and..." Azirpahale swallows and closes his eyes. "You hugging me in the c-car. And it shouldn't happen, but it does and..."

Crowley squints his eyes.

"I don't know if in the things you see in the movies it's like that but usually humans first..." the blonde pauses again, looking at him.

"Ugh. Don't lecture me about that." rolling eyes.

"Do you know what I mean?" he asks trying to look him in the eyes, getting a little closer to him.

"Look, let's... forget about this" Crowley asks, in a more pleading tone that he would like and looks at him sideways.

"Oh... oh. Alright."

"No?" the redhead looks at him, unsure, and moistens his lips.

"It would be... the most sensible thing" that's anything but a yes, alright, let's forget about this.

The demon looks at him, now sitting up and halfway curled up.

"But you never... when do you ever do the sensible thing, huh?"

"Apparently..." he releases his legs and crawls towards him.

Aziraphale watches him do it, opening his eyes a little more than he should, but without moving.

"Mmm?" he makes a little sound.

Crowley takes off his glasses and leaves them on the table, staring into his eyes.

This without glasses is considerably better. The angel moistens his lips, visibly nervous, he's not going to say no.

He gets closer, forcing him to lie down a little, crawling over him.

"C-Crowley..." he whispers half in protest, but he doesn't stop him, or take him off, or push him away, or stop looking into his eyes.

The intentions are clear, believe me, he has his lips slightly parted and he's going straight where he needs to go.

"Aziraphale-san... you're going to want t-to... oh..."

Crowley stops, squeezing his eyes shut. Aziraphale... pushes him a little trying to get out from under him.

The demon leans back, huffing with his eyes closed, clenching his teeth and being dramatic. Leaning against the wall on his back in a dramatic pose.

"Ehh... uh..." Aziraphale's almost standing up. He smiles. He laughs a little... nervously. "Uh... Dessert. W-We were going to have... well. Uh... coffee. Or... Or not."

"Uh... s-sorry for the interruption. I... uh..."

Crowley is still there, massaging his nose bridge with his eyes closed. He half laughs and everything. Letting Aziraphale deal with the waiter.

"Two... matcha crepe cakes and two coffees," he pauses. "And a whiskey."

Well, at least it seems like they're going to be here a while longer... he was ABOUT to ask for the check and run.

Crowley doesn't dare to open his eyes with the waiter there because... well, Aziraphale really likes this place and the only thing missing is for them not to let him come back in.

The waiter looks at him... looks at Crowley. Makes a certain face and as he leaves... leaves the door open.

Rolling his eyes. But even less he'll find out if he leaves, then...

Aziraphale covers his face with his hands... what just happened. And what just DIDN'T happen. This time he was definitely going to KISS HIM. His legs almost buckle just at the thought.

So, there they are... eyes closed. Crowley is half dying of laughter at how absurd and ridiculous and frustrating all of this is, and also because of nerves. He runs a hand through his hair, hoping Aziraphale will say something.

"Uh... um..." he leans against the wall so he won't fall.

Come on, now surely he was going to believe that this was just pure scientific curiosity. "You see, Aziraphale, I'm trying to write a book about angels because people need to know if you can or cannot take Ibuprofen and how often one has to water you... and I just thought this was another important piece of information that could contribute to the study... like an... annex perhaps."

No, of course he was going to believe that. Absolutely... he sighs. "You see, Aziraphale, I'm trying to make a documentary about angels because people need to know if you can or cannot take Ibuprofen and how often one has to water you... and I just thought this was another important piece of information that could contribute to the study... like an... annex perhaps." Now. Now he will. Foolproof.

Crowley is kind of having a panic attack but don't think Aziraphale is in the sea of tranquillity either.

"C-Crowley?" he asks, still with his eyes covered, just to see if he hasn't gone. The named one opens one eye to look at him. "You still here?"

"No, I'm in Alpha Centauri."

"Uh... well... I've ordered dessert for you," he uncovers his face and looks at him... sideways for a second. Still nervous.

"I heard."

Aziraphale shifts his weight and... slides down a little.

"Well... um... a-and... did I already tell you that I talked to... a heavenly envoy?"

"I was going to order something else for dessert, but it's okay. No..."

"Are you okay?" Aziraphale looks at him intensely.

"Yeah, sure," Crowley takes his sunglasses to put them back on.

"Really?" he still doesn't move from there, looking at him.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Because he's not entirely, in fact, he opens his mouth a little in shock with this.

Crowley... recovers before you.

So it seems... Aziraphale sighs a bit, looking towards the door... open. Maybe he was annoyed with him for getting him off.

He's not annoyed!

Let him draw conclusions and then fix them. But what was he going to do? Stay there, on the floor of his restaurant, while he kissed him... kissed him. He was going to kiss him. Really kiss him. No one had ever given him a kiss like the one Crowley was going to give him.

"I... I'm sorry?"

"What are you sorry for?" Crowley leans on the table, clasping his hands together, moving again.

He thinks that... oh my God, what doesn't he feel right now?!

"At this moment... I can tell you that I still don't feel my legs..." he confesses a bit jokingly... quite seriously.

The demon raises his eyebrows because that wasn't because of what happened in the bookshop earlier, he could walk fine when he came here.

Of course it wasn't because of the bookshop, idiot, it was because he almost kissed him.

"But you're... perfectly fine."

"And?" Aziraphale looks at him sideways. There you have your puppy eyes sharp.

Crowley blinks, leaning back a little.

That beautiful reaction every time, almost as if he had shown him a knife.

You'd be scared too if you were him...

Oh, come on.

Oh yes. He even swallows nervously.

He stealthily walks towards the table... and sits on a cushion. This time on the other side from where he is, with the table in between. Now without looking at him.

"Coward."

Aziraphale looks at him with his mouth open again with that surprised expression and Crowley smiles slightly.

"It's not cowardice! It's just... you're fine and I... well... when have things ever stopped you?"

"It's not the things that stop me," he laughs and the angel swoons a little.

"Maybe it's just that I'm... taking this too seriously," he flails his arms a bit, dramatic mode on.

"Taking yourself seriously? Certainly."

"Well... okay. Okay. This is perfectly normal," he crosses his arms.

"What is?"

"Everything! EVERYTHING!" a little hysteria. Crowley laughs again. "Don't laugh!" he throws a balled-up napkin at him, which only makes Crowley laugh even more. "Crowley!"

The more you protest, the worse it gets.

"Ugh!"

The demon calms down a bit after a few seconds.

"If I can't come back to this place after today, I swear..." still, the truth is he's already smiling a bit.

"Well, you need company to do it, as you've been told," Crowley crosses his arms on the table, smiling.

"To THIS place, yes. I need to find someone decent to come with."

"Maybe... your barber friend?"

"He's more than a friend... I'm going to marry him."

"Ah, yes, yes... my apologies," he leans back and crosses a leg, still smiling. "Congratulations."

Aziraphale blushes a bit because if he looked handsome a while ago, now he looks even more for some reason.

"You're going to invite me to the event, I hope."

"I don't think you can come, my dear."

"Well, probably not to the ceremony, but the reception surely has an open bar, and I wouldn't miss that for anything."

"And only for the open bar. I know," Aziraphale smiles sideways. "Okay. I'll consider it. Let me jot it down in my invisible notebook."

"I might have some less than honest interest in tempting a few things about one of the grooms. Nothing too spectacular, just business," he flirts, looking away.

"T-Tempting," he blushes, and... honestly. If you think your puppy eyes are scary, Aziraphale just discovered one of your secret weapons.

"You know... nothing too elaborate. Just to challenge the solidity of the contract with God. She likes those things," he glances at him sideways.

"I-I don't think she'd allow it!" he blushes even more and squirms a bit.

"That remains to be seen," he smiles wickedly, showing his teeth. "Although I can imagine how insufferable you would become if I do that to the barber."

The ANGEL's mouth is completely open, the demon is dying of laughter. The other keeps his mouth open... but WIDE OPEN.

"Yeah, that's more or less the face you'd make," Crowley imitates him a bit, opening his mouth like an idiot.

"Well, you're a demon, OF COURSE you wouldn't tempt me to ANYTHING," Aziraphale blushes enormously.

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

"No! Not a chance!"

"Sure, sure... none at all."

"Even less than you think!"

Crowley moistens his lips and leans a bit on the table, getting closer with a slightly... sinuous movement. Aziraphale raises his eyebrows and blushes. If he could...

"C-Crowley..." same tone although this time he's wearing glasses and it's less effective.

The demon leans further forward, getting closer, little by little. (And he blushes a bit too because the tone... and don't think he's made of stone).

The angel opens his mouth slightly, and honestly, it's possible that they'll fight over this in the future because anyone who thinks Aziraphale has all the willpower that an angel should have is completely wrong, but Aziraphale is the one who leans in and brushes his lips against his...

Oh, well, actually... Crowley has only moved in without... anything because he knew they were already bringing their dessert with his viperish instinct.

DAMN IT WITH THE VIPERISH INSTINCT!

But if they brush against him, he's not going to be the one to move away, quite the opposite. (Now you regret wasting your "fuck" of the century with the car!)

The waiter enters again, just as Crowley predicted, and Crowley slightly parts his lips feeling the touch of Aziraphale, closing his eyes.

Ugh! Damn snake, who thinks it's easy to get rid of that? As he's leaned in, HE has to turn his face because... well, it's just... no.

The waiter is there about to clear his throat.

And truth be told, it wouldn't be surprising if Crowley got mad this time. Aziraphale lets out a nervous, exotic little laugh.

Nah. Crowley is a bit paralyzed and squeezes his eyes shut because he was FEELING this would happen. He had even specifically expected it this time... but in his mind, Aziraphale wasn't going to... go those last few centimeters! He moistens his lips, hesitating, before leaning back until he's sitting on his bum on the floor.

"Darn it... thanks for getting that speck out of my eye!" sure, Aziraphale, SURE.

"Uh... I... I'll... bring you the... um... dessert."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" the angel gestures, not looking at the waiter and starts laughing again. The waiter puts the plates on the table.

"Sorry for interrupting."

"No, no... no... It's okay. M-My... acquaintance was getting a speck out of my eye, of course, because it had been there for a while and... now he's succeeded, of course. It's very uncomfortable when that happens. You can't see anything. He experiences it frequently, that's why he knows how to remove it... and why he wears sunglasses all the time, even in here, and..." babbling... on

The waiter looks at Crowley, who sighs leaning against the wall again and gives the poor guy a two-finger salute on the head and again the fake smile.

"Oh, but these tarts look so good," seriously, you should shut him up or kill him. "Thank you so much for bringing them. Oh, and the coffee smells great!" the last thing Aziraphale seemed to need right now was coffee.

"Angel..." Crowley calls him with a gesture to stop.

Okay, quite useful. He looks at him... shuts his mouth. He blushes. He purses his lips. In fact, this was even more efficient than a snap.

"Alright, um... I'll... leave you to enjoy your dessert. And sorry again," the waiter assures them with a little nod before leaving.

Honestly... if he could, Aziraphale would SCREAM fuck wanting to kill someone.

Crowley folds a leg again and gets into the posture of "this is not my thing" resting his elbow on the bent knee and bringing his fingers to his lips as if nothing, looking into the distance.

"I-I'm sorry, I... I don't know... y-you were very... close," Aziraphale whispers.

"Mhm..."

"D-Dessert?"

Crowley looks at him, with his hand still on his lips. Aziraphale pulls his lips into his mouth, biting them a bit, and looks at him with absolute affection, sincerely. The demon smiles at him.

"Come on... you should try it," he smiles a bit too, relaxing infinitely with that smile.

"Nah, you eat it, you enjoy it more," Crowley shrugs.

"But there are two... I'll get fat."

"And so what...? Alriiight, alriiight," he leans forward again towards the table to reach for his dessert and his utensil. "Let's give it a try."

Aziraphale, upon seeing him move, straightens up again as if he's going to lean in towards his face again, but when he doesn't, he breathes a bit and... puts a piece on his utensil.

"Open your mouth."

Crowley looks at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I said open your mouth, not raise an eyebrow."

"My ears work perfectly."

"Fine... don't open your mouth," he puts the piece into his own mouth and smiles at him.

Eye roll and he does it.

He takes another bite and brings it towards Crowley's mouth. The demon bites the fork, clenching his teeth without letting go. Aziraphale tries to pull it, but he won't let go, smiling.

"Ehhh! Don't bite it!"

Crowley opens his lips wider, smiling more, but the angel pulls a little causing it to slide away.

He pulls a little more, looking at him closely, so he goes a bit closer.

He looks so handsome!

The random comment suddenly.

Ugh! Leave him alone!

Alright, alright... he finally lets go of the fork because it's either that or turn into a snake again to go after him and... well. That's a bit inconvenient because Aziraphale is probably tense enough with the whole "they're going to ban me from the restaurant" situation as if it were some great Greek tragedy.

It would be!

A drama of epic proportions. As if there weren't more restaurants in London.

Not like this one!

Eye roll.

To you, being banned from your favourite cinemas would be similar.

There are plenty of cinemas in London. He's not emotionally attached to any.

Eye roll. It's not comparable. He can watch the same movie elsewhere.

And he can eat the same raw fish somewhere else. It's not even cooked, for Beelzebub's sake!

No! This one is perfectly cut and served! And he likes the guys here and... Ugh.

Whatever...

He won't be able to come back. He was tempted to give him a kiss on the cheek, but enough with initiatives for today.

Now he's cynical enough to... "withhold the truth" from God about the sword matter, but not to come back here after this.

Well, if he had just given him a good kiss now, they would know something, but what they've seen doesn't amount to much.

So what's the problem then?

They'll think he's a poor frustrated guy. He can't allow that.

Whining, whining, whining, boo hoo hoo.

"Did you like it?"

"I liked the earlier part better."

"Snake, as expected." Eye roll. Crowley raises an eyebrow, not understanding that. "Snakes that eat... eat raw mice... or raw fish. Not crepes."

"I wasn't talking about the fish."

"What?" Aziraphale drops his spoon somewhat dramatically and blushes.

"Anyway... so, tomorrow. How's that going to go?"

"Tomorrow?" the angel asks without thinking because right now there was no tomorrow or past, just the here and now with Crowley trying to kiss me and saying he likes it.

"With the witch hunter..."

Aziraphale blinks.

"Ohhh, right, right... of course. Uff. You need the right protection, Crowley."

"Huh?"

"Holy water."

"Easy with that. I've got it all planned out. The issue is what you're going to do."

"Tomorrow? Dodge death... right? Or should I attack you with something?"

"That's what I mean..."

"Fire?" Aziraphale sighs.

"If we had that sword..." Crowley just can't.

"I would've buried it in your mouth years ago!"

Crowley laughs.

"I just have no idea how to kill you," Aziraphale takes a sip of his cold coffee and wrinkles his nose.

"Mmmm... with pomposity and boredom? Those are your sharpest weapons."

"You never get bored with me, Crowley." Aziraphale glares at him.

"Oh, really?" Crowley keeps laughing.

"No. Actually, I was thinking... how they might believe you could die."

"Uh huh?"

"What characterizes an angel that a demon doesn't have... according to them."

"Inherent goodness?"

"Produced by..."

"God's grace?"

"Everything is produced by God's grace, dear. I meant a more earthly feeling," Aziraphale chuckles a bit producing an eye roll from the demon. "Love."

"Love?"

"Well, it's obvious that technically a demon shouldn't be capable of feeling love anymore, right?"

"No... nah. I mean, we're not." Crowley blushes a bit at that.

"You are."

"Uh..." vague and quite theatrical gesture. "Nah... I mean..." visibly nervous.

"It's hard not to feel it..." the angel pauses. "But I don't think they bother."

"Maybe you're confusing it with yours, projecting it onto me and..."

"That's what they must think," Aziraphale squirms a bit. Crowley clears his throat because... yes, that's exactly what Michael told him earlier. "If I were really going to kill you, Crowley... I wouldn't do it with a flaming sword."

Crowley swallows nervously, suddenly feeling more in danger than ever.

"Come on!" the blonde one rolls his eyes. "You've been like this for thousands of years, you're not going to die from this, don't be ridiculous," he waves his hand vaguely.

"W-Well... and... what does that... mean?" he squints.

"Well, I don't know. I guess the world isn't as black and white as your side and my side believe... there's a scale of grays. That... on one hand. If I really had to... kill you for real. I'd look for a more... angelic way to do it."

"Consisting of...?"

"I don't know. Clearly love doesn't kill you, but they..."

"So..." he squints. "What I mean is... what are you going to do to make them believe you're doing something and what should I do to make them believe it's working?"

"I'm not even sure if it's a good idea... it's just something I've been thinking about. It's much more complicated than burning you at the stake and dunking you in holy water."

"That... I can see."

"In fact, I would've thought... they themselves would choose a more elegant form the first time. They chose it the second."

Crowley looks at him with a raised eyebrow because... damn, it is a much more elegant way. But the cynicism necessary to... admit it.

"A horrendous way. The worst."

"That only happens when they ally..."

"They're condemning us by doing the same things we do," he presses his lips.

"Well... in my case, they claimed it was also about stopping the end of the world and war..."

Aziraphale smiles sideways.

"And you won't believe it, but disrespecting Beelzebub and a respected member of the angelic community."

"Alright, alright," the angel laughs a little.

"In fact, if it weren't so poorly written, you would really enjoy my sentence. There are several things you'd agree with, and I'm sure you could come up with a couple more to add to your list of grievances against me."

"Oh... what does it say?" Aziraphale asks interestedly.

"Things like being a traitor and asking too many questions... and too 'exhuberant', which I suspect was supposed to be 'exasperating'."

"'Exuberant'? They're just jealous," he moistens his lips and tilts his head.

"And who wouldn't be?"

"Me. Being exuberant is too complex for me, but..."

"Oh, come on!"

"It suits you perfectly."

"And not you, of course..."

"'Exuberant'? No."

"Exasperating."

"Do I seem exasperating to you?"

"You don't seem it, I know you are."

"You always say such nice things," he pouts. Eye roll, and the angel laughs a little.

"Anyway, back to the topic of... what to do to kill you tomorrow."

"Exactly."

"It has to be spectacular, besides. And convincing."

"Uh huh?"

"How do they do it in exorcisms and such?"

Crowley clenches his teeth and inhales sharply.

"Can I kill you with one?"

"I don't... think so, but... you could... expel me from my body."

"And then what?"

"Well... it depends."

"On what? Come on, I'm not going to leave your body soaked in holy water... could I touch your body without any holy water?"

"Uh... Well... yes... I think. I mean, I suppose... in practice, it must be like when..." he makes a circular motion with two fingers, referring to the exchange.

"I could perform an exorcism and expel you from your body and bathe it in holy water..."

"But why would you do that?" he squints. "Everyone believes I'm supposed to be immune to it."

"Well, the other option is burning you!"

"I don't think my body could handle that without me there."

"And I'm not going to burn it."

"Right, also..." he moistens his lips because exorcisms...

"What?"

"I told whoever it was that you had dismissed exorcisms."

"Michael. Why?"

"Because... if holy water doesn't affect me then that... won't either."

"If heavenly things don't kill you and neither do demonic things... nothing will be able to kill you, except God. That's what... they'll have to understand."

"That's a good conclusion to reach."

"Still, in summary, I have nothing against you."

"Maybe we could try the exorcisms," he squints.

Aziraphale extends an arm and gives him a very soft and quick caress on the face. The demon blinks, and the angel withdraws his hand. It's just that he looks at the faces you make, squinting and talking about exorcisms.

Well, it's just... exorcisms!

"Couldn't you look up on... your phone how to kill a demon according to humans? They can always give us good ideas."

"No."

"Oh, come on, why not?"

"Because someone forgot the bloody demon device at my house."

"Ohhh... but there was one of mine around here somewhere, right?"

"Let's see, bring it here," he gestures with his hand for him to hand it over.

He searches for it and miraculously finds it. He gave it to him like twenty minutes ago. He could have lost it.

"Come on, I remember the thing about the salt lines on the floor... and the sage. Does it work or not?"

"The salt... seasons my floor very well. The iron is what... but it has to be placed there for THAT."

"The iron? But I've seen you with a whole suit of armour on..."

"That's why. It has to be put there for that. With intent, like horseshoes. None of this buying a bell for the door and miraculously thinking you're immune to us."

"How come half of the iron things I own have never worked to keep you at bay?" he protests and... regrets the rhetorical question. "Shut up, idiot."

The annoying little smile.

"Don't get too cocky."

"No, no... of course," he raises his hands in surrender.

"Back to the matter at hand..."

"Mhmm?"

"A direct iron stake through your heart is what I should do."

"I don't think that wouldn't work the other way around either."

"I think that works well for de-corporalising anyone."

"The good thing is that I won't be forced to do much paperwork. Or, well, I will, but if I don't do it, nothing will happen."

"No. And what if they don't return you?"

"For me, it's easy to possess a host. That's what makes demons very difficult to kill, despite the infinite number of ways there are..."

"Still, it wouldn't make me feel any better that... well. Let's say we've gotten used to this..." he blushes.

"In fact, you'll never know for sure when you're consummating your marriage with the barber... if it would be really with him," he responds, looking at his phone for demon-killing methods.

"I'm not going to consummate... I'm not... Anthony J. Crowley!"

He laughs a bit but doesn't dare to look at him.

"If this were a normal table, I would have kicked you underneath already."

"Oh! What about non-violence?"

"I already think you've consumed quite enough today. Enough for the entire century," Aziraphale doesn't look at him either, taking another sip of coffee with an innocent look.

"Look," Crowley ignores the protests, showing him a ritual on his phone. "This one works. It's a pain in the ass because I can't return to the body in twenty minutes, and then everything feels weird, but if you don't seal the body, I can easily come back after a while."

"Twenty minutes when I can do whatever I want with your body? Okay..." Aziraphale nods, looking at the phone with interest. "I'd have to buy a couple of things."

"Don't forget the blanket," the demon emphasises.

"Blanket..."

"Yeah, because then this leaves the body freezing."

"No wonder, if you don't wear underwear," the angel murmurs.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Fine. So, this will be it. You still haven't told me what you're going to do," he changes the subject from passive-aggressive, looking at him again.

"Don't worry, something painless," and stupid, believe me.

"Thank you," he smiles.

"Ugh, don't thank me," he squints.

"I'm sorry, you're a good demon..." He rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, I'm not," he protests, and Aziraphale smiles a little at that.

"Please... be careful with the holy water."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Okay, okay..." he raises his hands. "By the way..."

Crowley looks at him over his glasses. Aziraphale hesitates a bit.

"We were going to... go to the cinema another day soon."

"Mhmm?"

"To... switch bodies again."

"I suppose it's not necessary anymore," he puts on his glasses and leans back again, crossing his legs. The face Aziraphale makes.

"Uh... of course. Certainly not... not necessary at all. Better. Because I didn't want to go, I had another commitment and..."

"Although if you want to see the end of The Sound of Music..."

"What?" Eye roll.

"We didn't finish it..."

"Yes... I'd like to see it. Not that I said I wanted to... what?"

Crowley shrugs.

"Are you inviting me to... a date?"

"At... this point..." he blushes a bit... Aziraphale coughs and blushes in a mirrored fashion.

"I didn't say the first one."

"As if they find out we're seeing each other and not..."

"Forget it," Aziraphale squints.

"But still..." he whispers. The angel looks at him. "What I mean is, I've already seen it."

"And it's not worth the risk. Already..."

"Don't be an idiot," eye roll. "What I mean is, if you don't want to see it, then it doesn't make sense, because I've already seen it."

"Am I asking you about it or not?" he blushes.

"Anyway, we'll have to decide on the next move sooner or later, what if tomorrow we meet the witch hunter and then we'll see where we go... Don't show up there too early."

"What time do you want me to go?"

"Late. Remember that in my case, mornings are something that happens to other people."

Aziraphale sighs.

"Okay... it'll be in the evening," he smiles a little, and Crowley smiles back. "It's been an unexpectedly... different evening."

He smiles even more, almost about to laugh, and the angel does laugh a little, leaning closer.

"Could you describe it better? It's been a crazy evening... where everything has gone quite... wrong? Good? I don't even know what to say."

"You keep the good, I'll keep the bad, and we'll have a balanced distribution," he looks at him in that way again.

The blonde blushes a little and feels like butterflies are fluttering in his stomach... six thousand years later, and you're just allowing butterflies to fly there?

"This time, I'd rather both of us keep the good. It balances out naturally after the last couple of days."

"Except for the kiss, which I got, and it's mine," he coughs.

"Wh-What k-kiss?"

"Exactly, that's the spirit."

"There was no real... kiss!"

"Got you. Really."

"There was no kiss, Crowley!"

"Very good," he smiles.

"That's not... it's not a kiss!"

And in the middle of that shout, the waiter returns to see if... they need anything else or what they're doing now.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!"

"It's like you... summon them," Crowley whispers in amazement, while the waiter looks between them, at least the air is clear now.

"Everything okay, gentlemen? Do you need anything else?"

"A bit of space," Aziraphale murmurs while clasping his hands. He purses his lips.

So, scolded, the waiter clears the dessert plates and coffee cups.

"I'm sorry," he whispers as he does so. "I'm just... I..."

"He doesn't mean it. He usually lies about these things," Crowley intervenes.

"What?! No! I don't lie!"

Crowley just smiles annoyingly at that.

"It's not true that I lie. What he means is that... I was getting lint out of my eye and he interrupted," the waiter looks at Crowley because those are more explanations than... well, they don't make it any better.

"Heavens... just... do you want anything else?" the angel asks desperately. The demon shakes his head.

"In fact, I think I should leave first..."

He nods a little, so he gets up a bit, still smiling.

Crowley also gets up a bit, still smiling.

Aziraphale nods a little and watches him, out of the corner of his eye, with an air of disinterest. It would take quite a few terrible tortures for him to admit that, of all the times they've talked and spent time together... this was undoubtedly the time he least wanted him to leave. He would have liked to walk home with him and talk all night. And maybe have him fall asleep on the sofa and start again tomorrow. Go to the cinema and talk (not in the cinema... ahem), and almost kiss another three hundred times. Ahem ahem. He blushes.

But the reward for years of service instead of a vacation was... going home alone. As if you hadn't done that every day for the last six thousand years! He scolds himself a little, come on, don't be so dramatic. It could be worse. He could really want to kill you.

The demon stands up definitively, and his hips carry him to the door.

"Uhh... goodbye?" this man and his terrible goodbyes!

Crowley looks at him from the door and smiles at him, making him smile a little too.

"Can you ask them to bring the bill?"

"Yes, of course."

Aziraphale keeps looking at him, and Crowley is still standing at the door, hesitating, licking his lips... no one knows why he doesn't leave.

Aziraphale knows why he doesn't leave. In fact, he's starting to fear it might be his own will that's holding him back.

Believe us, it's not. It might help, but... it's not.

Aziraphale wipes his lips with the napkin, still with that air of slight disinterest. The waiter looks at Crowley, not understanding what he's doing.

One more and Aziraphale is going to snap his fingers... and wish not to send you to a horrible place. That's what he says, ahem. We're not sure if it's true. We hope so.

"Pfff..."

"What?" asks Aziraphale, leaving the napkin on the table and... standing up.

"I thought you wanted to be able to come back here."

"So did I" the very cynical one assures, without looking at him.

"Well..."

The angel takes out his wallet and puts double the money he calculates the bill will be on the table.

Crowley holds his gaze, Aziraphale puts away the wallet again, before looking at him and smiling.

"So..."

"Yes, dear?"

"Weren't you going to wait?"

"That's what I'm doing. Waiting."

"Right," he looks at the door and... hesitates again, squinting and smiling more.

Aziraphale licks his lips. I mean, Crowley can't... be that dumb, right? Come on, he's doing 90% of it this time!

He's not doing anything.

"Crowley?"

He looks at him. Come on, it's not that easy either, huh!

"Ciao, angel," he smiles and turns to leave now.

No! But how can he be so dumb?!

"Ugh! Stupid serpent!" the angel protests, tremendously frustrated. Well, nothing, no more smiling like an idiot and thinking about him all night.

That's what you think.

He's going to think about him all night, but he's not going to smile like he would!

That's right.

Well, he's very angry. If you trip over something on the street, you'll know why.

REVENGE. Calm down, because he'll have enough trouble because... well, dear, as soon as he gets to his apartment, there's a woman at the door.

Oh... yes. He asked for her.

If you sleep with her...

Well, at first, he's not sure why she's there, but... then it seems the angel intended to have an interesting evening. He can't believe the drama he's caused before just for being alone in his bookshop when he...

No! Of course not, you idiot!

Well... it's obvious he's not.

Well, he should think so. Thanks.

The good thing is that... Crowley is in a good mood, so he won't make much of a fuss about it. Nor about the mess on his phone, what the hell are all these notifications about cats? He'd rather go to sleep and deal with it tomorrow.

Sure. You, because you sleep.

Exactly.

Aziraphale is going to come home, make some tea, and... close everything up and undress to look at himself naked in the mirror for the first time in centuries. Actually, he leaves his underwear on. Well, if he's wearing any. Probably not.

Well... why is he looking at himself naked?

Well, at least he wants to know what Crowley saw!

What he saw... Was no underwear.

Yes, yes. I mean... they want Gabriel to come when he takes off his underwear. In fact, he might also... look to see if everything is as it should be. He supposes it is, humans do that frequently and nothing happens to them.

Aziraphale breathes, thank goodness. Still... he blushes a little. Come on, it was his human form and it didn't seem particularly bad to him. Nor particularly good. He squints, putting his clothes back on.

Actually, he's not even sure how... I mean yes, okay... in six thousand years one learns many things. He's not sure he can even and in fact he's sure they're those human temptations he shouldn't have

In fact, after four times he's done it...

You don't know that.

You almost have to be asleep to have it.

Actually, he might try a little and find out that he doesn't feel anything at all. He bites his lip a little convinced that if Crowley likes this too much... Well, Crowley has taken years to eat with him like this so he might as well say he doesn't like this and they'll be even.

Hmm... are you going to tell him that?

It's possible, it would be fair. I mean, it doesn't seem like it's a bad thing.

Okay... okay. It'll be the same. You can try it, actually.

Likewise (ahem), he searches for a rather specific and old book lying around, which contains information about methods precisely for getting rid of demons... and he sits on the sofa, sighing a bit, thinking about all the events of the day today, and smiles like an idiot, touching his lips and opening the book.

See? That's been a kiss.

No, it hasn't been, but it's been the closest thing. In fact, he feels a little guilty about it because he really shouldn't have kissed him.

Well, you were going to do it yourself...

Really, he shouldn't have kissed him. Yes. No one is blaming you, Crowley. Anyway, he smiles like the idiot angel he is and hugs the book a little.

I'm sure... Crowley is going to be late tomorrow.

Sigh. It's in the model.

Not just because Crowley is probably late by definition but also because Aziraphale has thrown off all the universe's alarms at RARE hours.

Rolling eyes.

So he's been woken up by an Amazon delivery guy with a premium delivery of a surfboard, some beach items, and skis. And honestly, Crowley's starting to think it's a good idea to kill him.

Now it'll be Aziraphale's fault that Crowley is late. Rolling eyes.

Well, besides being late... It's also that he hasn't told him the time, he just said in the afternoon.

As always. You can go there for tea.

Yes, he's going to do that but... He's also a little nervous.