Summary:
First UmiNico chapter. Nico and Maki have to confont the space between them.
Chapter 12: UmiNico 01: Prison Visiting Day and Nico
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
The morning of the "hand-off" to Umi, Kotori of course came with Nico to meet her.
But Umi brought the last person Nico expected to see.
The four of them ordered - Maki ate the same thing the other three had been ordering.
As Nico and Kotori arrived, shamelessly holding hands, Maki looked at them with a shocked and almost angry expression. When Kotori kissed Nico before they sat down with Nico between her and Umi and facing Maki, that only worsened. But Maki's pride reasserted itself, and while she wasn't chipper, she did treat their breakfast almost like a normal conversation.
Bit by bit, it came out that Kotori had told Umi what Nico's mother had requested, and Kotori had promised her. Maki had unbent enough, meanwhile, to ask Umi if she was serious about "Kotori's project," and been visibly chagrined when Umi said she probably was.
Maki, too, had then been filled in on Kotori's promise, and Umi had straightforwardly pointed out that if Maki were there, Nico would have even more incentive to really consider what she was doing. Maki asked if she could talk to Nico alone after they all met up. Umi had, of course, been hesitant to do so. She'd pointed out that Nico had nothing arranged that day to justify missing morning classes for. Moreover, she was going to skip tomorrow's study session with Eli and Nozomi, as there was going to be two performances - a short matinee at 12:30, then a fuller performance at six - of Chrysanthemum.
Maki asked, petulantly, if it was okay to ask Nico if she would meet with her, and Umi had agreed. A lot was going on, but she still thought bringing Maki was better than not bringing her. Maki thanked Umi, but also primly pointed out that Nico was supposed to be alternating skipping morning and afternoon classes, so as not to neglect one over the other.
Umi kissed Nico on the cheek as she sat down, and said that at noon would be plenty of time for Nico to tell her what she had decided.
As it turned out, Nico could still not refuse Maki anything. Anticlimactically, she agreed immediately. She'd clearly wanted to talk to Maki the whole week, and wasn't going to pass an opportunity by to do so. She told Maki something that did surprise her, though. That she would justify missing one morning class to Headmistress Minami personally, and that she would simply say that part of her issues with school was her relationship issues with Maki, and that she had to attend to that. The old Nico would never have been remotely that honest. It was as if the small girl's outsized ego and pride had vanished over the course of a week. Nico knew better than to point out that they had, in fact died, along with her hopes and dreams, the minute Maki said they should break it off.
Their private conference over a second coffee ended up being a wrenching experience for both girls.
What Maki wouldn't say in front of Umi and Kotori, she said to Nico once they were alone. She thought the whole process was crazy and would harm Nico more than help her. She said Nico was running away from her problems, instead of learning to solve them on her own, finding her inner strength.
"If Nico had two broken legs, and two broken arms … and … and cancer," Nico answered, "would Maki-chan say that? That Nico shouldn't accept any help, she should crawl from place to place and treat her cancer with herbs she gathered from the deep woods?"
Maki just looked irritated at the question.
But Nico was unperturbed. "Clearly, Maki can't see it - which makes Nico even sadder - but that would be better than how Nico is."
Maki pointed out that Nico seemed okay to her. Nico responded that she had just pointed out that, apparently, Maki couldn't see what was wrong. She repeated her assertion that the fact they had gotten so out of tune with each other's feelings in such a short time simply made her even sadder than she already was. It was something of a stand-off.
Maki hadn't wanted to lose her cool, but she did. "I mean, Nico, you were on and on about how you had your one true eternal love, I must have heard that almost every day. And we're separated for a few days and you're … you're fucking one of our friends!"
Nico looked visibly stricken, even to Maki, who was resisting seeing her that way. That feeling she'd already had, that everyone else was ganging up on her, making her the villain who'd hurt cute little Nico and broken her heart, returned with a vengeance. With it, came all the intolerable pressure she'd been trying to escape for a long time.
But from somewhere Nico summoned the strength to stammer out: "Ni-Nico is just … just trying to survive, Maki-chan. Everyone has a right to try to do that."
Maki couldn't help herself. "And at the end, that's going to help you? Making sex no big deal? Discarding all of your romantic talk? Becoming a … a jaded slut?"
Once it had been said, it hung there. Neither of them could say anything. Finally, surprisingly, Nico responded. Even Maki could hear the sadness and despair now. They both could feel a barrier between them they didn't see a way to bypass, as if they were on either side of a plexiglass window.
""It's good, and what Nico would want, that Maki-chan can't imagine anything worse than that. But Nico knows that being a bottomlessly depressed seventeen-year old failure with no energy and no dreams and no hope is worse." Nico paid for their second coffees and gathered her bag. She gave Maki a sad smile that was worse than breaking down in tears would have been, and said she had to go talk to Headmistress Minami.
Maki was left at a loss, holding her coffee and staring into space.
At noon, Nico told Umi she was in for the week, if Umi was. Umi knew she was barely holding herself together, so she was far more comforting than she normally was. She decided they should have lunch by themselves, since they hadn't had a properly romantic breakfast. Not only had Umi decided to go for it with Nico, that morning, she'd actually prepared a lunch for both of them. She also didn't even comment on Nico's tears throughout the lunch. She simply held her hand.
After school, heading to idol practice together, Umi stopped Nico. "I didn't think so before, but now I think you and Maki are truly at an impasse. Nico-chan, being weak won't help you, and it won't help her. It will only twist the knife in both your wounds. So we won't hide what's going on. I want you to be my warmup partner and stay by my side. I want you to practice like you've never practiced before. Get all the sadness, and the anger you probably aren't even aware of, out. Force yourself. It will make you calmer, I promise."
If Nico was a lot like Umi that evening, only maybe too forceful sometimes, she also did several steps faster and more smoothly than she had the day before. You could see she was focusing on the practice like a martial art. There was none of the posing or deliberate facial expressions. The only time she smiled was when she did one song perfectly, and it was a small smile. She also didn't focus on Maki once, the whole time. With her hair down, she truly looked like Umi, Jr.
Because Nico was so perfect for Chrysanthemum, and so were most of the other actors, they'd been given the night off. It was a good thing, because instead of heading to the Sonoda house, they ended up at the archery range. There, Nico was astonished to see gear in her size. Umi simply said they had gotten it from the middle school. The old Nico would have balked at that. The new Nico was clinging to her last shred of pride, that she'd committed to following this thing through wherever it led. So instead of objecting, she changed, right there at the range. She'd lost a great deal of modesty, and, in all honesty, it would have normally embarrassed Umi, but Nico changed so quickly that Umi simply followed suit. It helped no one was there.
Nico listened to all of Umi's instructions. She didn't even try to loose an arrow. She simply did exactly as she was told. She let Umi string the bow,, then did so herself, let Umi adjust her stance repeatedly, and practiced drawing and relaxing the bow for an hour, focusing on relaxed, non-shaky, slow, deep breaths. Coming on the heels of such an intense practice, it completely wiped her out, and all of her muscles were painfully sore.
When they did get to the Sonoda home, like Kotori, Umi had some light snacks and plum wine. She also had an herbal liniment. They retired to Umi's bedroom. Umi had Nico take off her top (she looked away, of course) and lie on her stomach. She worked the liniment into Nico's muscles. It burned a little, but it was ultimately quite soothing. when she was done, Umi handed Nico a robe, and went to the bathroom. When she came out, both of them were just wearing robes.
"This first time, Nico, I hope you don't mind, but I decided both of us need to drink a lot. We'll probably both be washed out tomorrow, even though Nico has her play debut." Well, that was honest Umi for you. Worse was to follow, though: "Nico really won't want to do this, but I want to set my alarm for an early rise. Then we'll work out, take a hot shower together and a cold rinse, and sweat the poison out of our systems. Even if Nico has to drag herself groggily through the whole thing, I think it will work by noon."
When they got back to the living room, Nico was still in the frame of mind of "I will believe all this when I see it." Umi did hold her hand as they talked quietly. It turned out, Umi had been considering what they might have in common, and had been surprised to realize that it was quite a lot:
"After all, Nico-chan, you really were me. I mean, a bit Honoka, too. And some Kotori and Maki and even Eli. But you were the one who had to be the slave driver, and everyone resented you. I know how that feels." She then raised a point that had occurred to her often. Kotori had told her it was quite freeing to be honest with Nico for once, and she had decided to give it a try.
"The girl I saw in a couple of videos of your trio practicing and performing was in good shape, and doing a serviceable job. Not as good as our group is doing, but close. How did that same girl lose a foot race up a stairs to Kousaka Honoka, of all people, even after cheating and giving herself a head start?"
If Nico hadn't been through this with Kotori, she probably would have clammed up, and probably even cried. But instead, she considered it. By now, she trusted the µ's girls, and especially the original trio. There wasn't any negative agenda behind their questions. They'd wanted to ask them for a long time, and Nico's pride and focus on her image had gotten in the way, was all.
"Well, for two years, Nico really didn't do anything but watch idol videos on an old computer and feel sad."
Umi considered that. Yes, two years of inactivity would do that. And the amount of training she'd had at that point wouldn't let her catch up to Honoka, who had been training at least as hard as Nico. The smaller girl hadn't fully recaptured the motivation she'd had as a naive firstie, either. Umi nodded. "Yes, that does explain that, somewhat."
They had honored their plan by drinking a couple of small bottles of warm plum wine each by then. Umi had them finish another one, then they went to Umi's bedroom, hand in hand. Umi explained that while they'd gotten their ideal order for Kotori's plan, it hadn't hurt that Umi's family was visiting a relative until tomorrow.
It really didn't feel like it had with Kotori. Nico was prepared for anything, and, frankly, just grateful to have Umi's company, even if all they did was have sleepover talk in Umi's bedroom.
To her surprise, Umi said, "Nico, I think I can bring myself to abandon my robe and at least try to sleep next to Nico that way. Of course, I am embarrassed, but I am also determined. Shall we try?" Despite those brave words, she turned away to drop her robe, and hurried under the covers. Nico, who realized wistfully that she was now officially "experienced" at this, followed suit, but without turning away. In fact, she'd carefully watched Umi reveal her fantastic figure from behind, though without saying anything. Once they were under the covers, Umi very gingerly and tentatively hugged Nico. They indeed whispered for a while, mostly continuing their conversation from the living room. Umi's face was a brighter red than Nico had ever seen. She really wished she could take a picture.
She heard Umi mumble something that sounded like the word "idea." Suddenly, she was being tickled. And really unmercifully. She kicked and struggled and dragged herself away and turned and stared at Umi, shocked. Umi was grinning mischievously, an expression Nico had never seen on her before. Nico pretended to look away, then leapt and attacked. She hadn't had endless tickle fights with her siblings for nothing, so she held her own, even in the face of Umi's superior strength and agility.
Eventually they were both laughing and exhausted. The covers had mostly come off of Umi.
Seeing a sight she knew many girls at Otonokiza would kill for, Nico found herself unable to move. Umi laughed. "You're not making this any easier, are you, Nico-chan?" she asked teasingly as she led her back to her bed. As Nico sat down on it, she noticed again that it was much firmer than Kotori's. "Well," she heard Umi say. "I bet we could both handle getting under the covers and holding hands. Are you game?"
Her tone suggested more than hand-holding was involved, and eventually, so it turned out. It was quite different from Kotori, and from Maki. Instead of pondering that, Nico simply tried to mesh with Umi as best she could. Both of them were satisfied, she decided. And the look in Umi's eyes the first time Nico made her have an orgasm was beautiful and touching. She actually had a lot of innocence for such a tomboy, and it contrasted beautifully with her model-style looks.
"This is going to sound lewd, and stupid, Umi, but I don't care about all that anymore," Nico began. "The truth is, I learn more doing this than I do at school. Much more. I learn about … about existing, I guess." Umi laughed happily and said that made perfect sense. She kissed Nico's forehead tenderly and told her good night. A short time later, they were asleep and entwined.
Later that morning, when Umi's alarm went off, Heaven had to be traded for Hell, on short notice.
Notes:
I feel Maki, on her birthday, would want back in on what began as a NicoMaki fic. Maybe not quite as she appears, but you can't have everything.
And let's face it. Once Nico and Umi, of all people, have done the deed, all bets are off. Fushidarana jo Nico Yazawa is off and running.
Cuitural Notes:
It's not encouraged, but the fact that the girls from Shion brought beer to drink after the recording session wouldn't be outrageous in Japan. Kotori wouldn't make a fuss, but if Umi had been there, she (hypocritically) would have.
As for them changing clothes right at the archery range, bear in mind that in grade school they would have both changed for PE right in the classroom - in front of both boys and girls! And even after Umi, at least, was into puberty. So Umi's shamelessness trigger - which is already being given an overhaul - wouldn't kick in over something so practical. For Umi, for archery contests, for Nico, for acting.
