Summary:

It's the morning after Nico's triumphal day; time to face the Muse-ic.


Note:

This chapter begins a drift away from continuity.
Theoretically, Maki quitting, if she was talked out of it later, could have been just a blip, and they'd still have Honoka accidentally sabotaging their first Love Live! foray, Kotori leaving, Honoka giving up, Nico freaking out, Maki stopping her, Hanayo bringing the news of a second Love Live!, etc. But with Maki taking a break, Nico (and someone else) composing, Honoka dating Nico and thus not feeling isolated and worthless, µ's will make it through the first Love Live!, Kotori will reschedule her overseas scholarship, and they will show what they can do in their fledgling mission against A-RISE! (and without Maki, for the most part). It's a divergence that will only grow a little, not a "butterfly effect," but it's officially leaving the canon story as of this chapter.


Are you going away with no word of farewell?

Will there be not a trace left behind?
Well, I could have loved you better,
Didn't mean to be unkind.
You know that was the last thing on my mind.

Tom Paxton 1964


The morning's training didn't feel half as bad, so Nico even went along with a lukewarm shower. Both Umi and Nico were more comfortable with contact in the shower, but it still felt a bit naughty and sexy for them.

Umi went into her room to do something while Nico drank coffee. She was thankful (again) to Kotori for training her that, even with only one week together, you still had to give each other space, especially to do necessary things. As she had done at the Minami house, she caught up with her studying. By this point she was already almost as good a student as Maki, Eli or Umi - her old habits from first year were coming back — and she was caught up by the time Umi came out and said they should leave for school.

This time, when Honoka and Kotori, who were looking quite sombre, looked at Umi expectantly, she shook her head.

"I emailed her, and she replied right away. I think it's worse than we guessed, but she was nice enough about it, and she sent me a long reply. And no, I was not going to tell Nico yesterday."

Nico looked at her, quizzically.

"Nico I was emailing Maki-chan. She quit µ's yesterday, during practice."

Nico nodded, and her grip tightened on Umi's hand, but she didn't speak. They continued on their way in silence.

The fact that Nico said not a word on the way to school made the other three girls feel subdued, as well. Of course, it wasn't unexpected. Umi was right not to tell her yesterday, both of the other two girls thought.


Be that as it may, the fact is the first person Nico talked to that day after they left Umi's house was, in fact, Maki-chan.

And Nico initiated it.

"Let's talk, Maki-chan. I know it didn't work out the last time we tried, but things have changed."

"How can I? We're both supposed to be heading for class."

"I have a free pass from the headmistress to skip classes, so it's just you. I am going to go with you, if you're agreeable, and tell your teacher I need your help with something. It's chemistry, and it's your best subject, and you could practically teach the class yourself."

"Well, not quite, but okay. I agree. Our last conversation left me feeling bad, I can only imagine how you felt. But ..."

"But?"

"But we're going to the kissaten nearest to school, not that French one that you meet your dates at."

"Deal."

Maki's teacher was fine with Maki leaving, and gave her a note, after she told her where she was going, and with whom. Minami had mentioned in her hearing that she was letting some students, including Yazawa, skip classes in the morning or afternoon to prepare for their education after graduation. It was a fairly common practice in senior year. And Nishikino's flair for chemistry made her a little nervous. She had to assume from her bored expression that she'd welcome a chance to take a break, and that she'd usually learn faster on her own. And she had heard the rumors floating around. If they were really dating - though the rumors of who Yazawa was dating seemed to have multiplied - then probably she hadn't picked Nishikino at random. Or perhaps she needed composition help, since Nishikino was said to be their composer. Anyway, they were headed to the nearest coffee shop, so they probably weren't up to anything they shouldn't be.

Maki noted with both amusement and a touch of sadness that Nico didn't even unconsciously try to hold her hand as they walked to the kissaten. Of course she didn't.


When they'd ordered, Nico got right to the point.

"First things first. I won't ask you to come to practices, or neglect your other tasks to do music for us - even though, you realize, I am going to have to take your place, and that means Kotori will mostly be on her own with costumes, but that's okay, you are still the busiest one among us, and we're properly grateful for all you've done for us. Umi said she emailed you but not what either of you said. Anyway, anything you feel moved to do is good enough. But I have a ... well, a spiritual request that you take back quitting. Even if you have to be a ghost member, I want µ's to be the nine of us. If it's not, I predict things will fall apart, just like they did the first time, with me, so this is a dead serious ... well, really important request, I guess?"

Maki couldn't get a word in, as Nico said it all in one breath. But when Nico paused, she said, "You sound like Nozomi, now."

"Well, I've known Nozomi longer than any of you, even Eli, you know."

Maki knew that very well. Nozomi was the reason she hadn't been Nico's first kiss. Which, if the situation were reversed, the super-romantic Nico would have been sad over. Maki wasn't thrilled about it. They'd been "practicing kissing," and probably would have even started going out if Nozomi hadn't discovered Eli. Then again, at least she and Nico had actually taken the plunge, which Eli had shown no signs of doing, even after more than two years of teasing. So she nodded.

"And I've rarely gone along with her mystical stuff, right? So this isn't quite that. But remember, we all pledged that µ's was the nine of us. No more, no less. Maybe she motivated us, but we still did. So if it's just the rest of us, it feels like we're less - we're diminished. It also feels bad and wrong to be on bad terms with Maki-chan. And so, since this is hard, and the odds are against us, and so on ... well, one thing and then another and it's easy to skip a practice and then another one. And then someone like me or Umi has to get mad and then you feel like, wow, why am I doing this when we said we're all together or nothing?"

Maki, unfortunately, found that all too plausible. Was that how Nico's group had died? She realized that they'd all unconsciously assumed Nico was at fault there. But now that - and it hurt to admit Kotori was partly responsible for that - she was getting a glimpse of how Nico was when she joined Otonokizaka, she realized that it could just as easily be misfortune. After all, with only three actual members, the vulnerability was much greater. Or would be normally. If Nico was right, Honoka's group was just as vulnerable, thanks to the "µ's is the nine of us" philosophy.

So what Maki was really doing now, if so, was deciding all their fates. She could derail them and all their hard work, hopes, and optimism would be wasted. She fully realized then just what Nico was getting at, and why she wanted to talk. Nico hadn't just been being a bitch to Honoka when she freaked out over her being the leader. Nico really was a natural leader of sorts, although fairly flawed at the same time. She was taking the initiative. More than any of the rest of them, she knew on her own hide how much was at stake, and how much it would hurt if it all crashed and burned. Even though the last time they talked, Maki had berated her for being a slut and sleeping around with their friends - which must have half-killed her, coming from Maki - she was bravely jumping right back into it, and without any rancor whatsoever, making Maki understand what was at risk here.

To stall for time to think, she asked Nico a "stray" question."How did you compose songs for your group? I didn't think you played an instrument, even?"

"You're the first person in µ's to ask me a single, solitary question about my group, you know. The truth is, I can play a little piano. I would plunk out a melody and some chords on the same piano you used, in the music room. Then I would use Mimi's keyboard and her computer and we'd mix it and edit it and do another track on top of that, and so on. MIDI stuff with pretty good instruments."

Nico paused, then said, "And besides, idols don't write their own material in the real world - that's singer/songwriter territory. So we composed the bare minimum to meet the requirements of competitions, and the rest were pop songs that were already out there. Mimi and Yuzu, one of our ghost members, were in literature club together, so they would write lyrics and we'd work back and forth until it sounded okay and was within our technical abilities."

She had just been giving Maki time to think, so now she said, "And I want to know what we can work out so you aren't quitting µ's, just taking a break."

Maki had had enough time to answer, now. "Pretty much what I wrote Umi. I said I could do two more songs for you this term. But you've convinced me, so ... if you want me to dance and sing on one song - a song I've already learned and practiced - I will. If you make it in to Love Live! I won't even mind one rehearsal first. And you can continue to list my name in all your µ's stuff."

"Okay, how about contacting you?"

"Ahh ... yeah," Maki said. This wasn't going to be pleasant at all. "The thing is, I really do want a break from you, still. And from just being part of NicoMaki. And I started to feel like all of µ's was becoming an extension of you, so ... not you. And not Kotori. And not Umi. And if I am reading it right, not Honoka. Not Nozomi. So ... Eli, Hanayo or Rin. Anyone else, only if they're not available."

To her surprise, Nico only nodded. It was easy to forget that the impoverished, ambitious girl had that side to her, too. She could put aside her feelings when it was important.

Because they had hashed out everything in a few minutes, they had a pleasant time, surprisingly. They chit-chatted about various things and avoided hot-button topics. But Maki decided, when they were going to have to leave soon, to say something.

"Listen, Nico. Without changing my mind, I want to say you know best for you, and whatever you need to do, you have my blessing. I can give you advice, but that's as far as it should go. And I respect you, and your feelings. I was terribly out of line not telling you that. And also ... I don't know what Kotori was thinking. I won't make this all about a fight between her and me, don't worry ... but what you said before that song on your album ... well, thank you. It meant a great deal to me."

Nico teared up. Yeah, that was another thing. "And it was also out of line when I said we should take a break, that I was upset that you cried. Of course you did. It came out of the blue, and you were obviously crushed."That made Nico cry a little more, but it wasn't a broken, despairing thing like before.

When they made their way back to Otonokizaka, of course they didn't hold hands, but both of them had a little more peace in their hearts.


As they parted ways at school, Maki hugged Nico impulsively. She probably hadn't even done that when they were dating. Nico being such a constant "glomper." Nozomi and Eli caught that, heading to their next classes, and both smiled. Maki could see them, and she frowned, but they didn't stop or say anything, and she turned away and headed for her class. Nico now caught sight of Eli and Nozomi, and joined them. That must explain Maki's sudden small frown. It was probably good to distract herself from how she felt being hugged by Maki, anyway.

"Listen. We worked stuff out, but only Eli, Rin or Hanayo should contact her directly for a while, okay?" Was the first thing Nico said. Both Eli and Nozomi's faces fell on hearing that. "Also, we can, and should still list her as part of µ's. We can explain that she got too busy to fully participate, which has the advantage of being mostly true, and she told Umi she could do two more songs for us. I got her to agree to dance and sing on one song she already practiced, if we make it in to Love Live! which I think we're on track for."

Nozomi's face lit up at that, though Eli remained skeptical. "Rin and Hanayo I get, but why me?"

"It could be a lot of things, Eli, like, you were always a role model, and stuff. But I think it's mainly you weren't convinced by this whole project thing, right? So she probably wants someone she can talk honestly to without causing a fight. That's my guess."

Nozomi looked thoughtful at that. In truth, she was thinking "As usual, Nicocchi knows Maki's mind best. God, I hope she makes it through all this. It's like she was born to love Maki, some days."


Over lunch Nico checked in with the drama club and committed to their next play - one of the three major parts - and tentatively, to the one after that. But she would only be the understudy for one major part, and would probably play a supporting part. By that point they would be occupied with Love Live! anyway, she guessed.

Wait. Today was the first day since Maki told her she wanted to break it off that Nico had taken an initiative. This wasn't Umi or Kotori testing her limits. This was Nico. She decided she needed to start watching to see if she was taking on too much - she suspected she was - and whittle back her responsibilities somewhat, if so. After this week, she would ask Umi for something that didn't take 3 hours a day to do (two hours of kendo or running and one of archery) but still kept some of the benefits of the severe regimen going. And maybe one of the others could help with composing, too.

Lunch went a little more happily after that thought.

At the end, Honoka had told Nico she would have something for her for the next practice, but wouldn't specify what it was.


After practice that day, Nozomi and Eli reported what Nico had done. They all knew how hard that had to have been, but Nico hadn't complained, hadn't praised herself, she'd just done it. Honoka and Kotori also thanked Umi for reaching out in email that morning. However, the other seven µ's girls muttered among themselves as Nico was changing. When she turned around, they said "Three cheers for Nico! She saved us!"

"Banzai!"

"Banzai!"

"Banzai!"