I'll be honest and say that this chapter was the hardest to write so far. I've never tried to create such emotional situations and I don't feel confident about how it turned out. The next one will also continue in this vein, I just hope it's a bit easier, with the structure already in place in my head. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and if you have any comments feel free to leave them without mincing words.

Chapter Text

Incredibly, when he showed up for training the next day, no one asked him anything, nor did a bunch of armed guards show up looking for Jonathan because he had injured a local citizen. This puts him at ease, but it doesn't answer what happened to the men who assaulted him and who they worked for.

Jonathan - Wait! You mean that if I had killed them, I would have been completely in the right?! - He exclaims, and Elt moves away a little because of the boy's shout. After getting into a good rhythm in training, they started talking, and Jonathan thought it would be all right to discuss what had happened with Elt, who had shown himself to be friendly and trustworthy. ( Even though Jonathan hadn't told Melanie, out of fear )

Elt - Well, yes, as you're part of the city guard technically speaking, any violence against you can be met with lethal force - And this is one of the least controversial laws in Lescatie, Elt doesn't like to admit, but many of those who call themselves 'defenders of the city' use laws like this to do whatever they want with the population.

As the two of them talk, Clinton notices that Jonathan is having difficulty with his exercises. These are small things, like the way he holds the wooden gun, with a much weaker grip than normal, and also a little limp in his legs when he goes to attack. Even so, he attributes it all to the fight he had. After they started training, he told Elt who, after explaining and calming him down that there wouldn't be any problems, began to tell him about the city's laws in this case.

Clinton " It's good that nothing happened to him, but to have beaten up three grown men who, even if they hadn't had any training, were kidnappers, not normal street thugs, something that a formal soldier of the order would have a bit of a problem with. Jonathan really does seem to have an above normal growth rate, a month ago he couldn't even hold a sword properly."

Jonathan - Haaa! Hyaaa! Haaa! - Repeating the same form, he knows that this will make his body develop muscle memory, but the most important thing at the moment is that it's distracting him from the insane hunger he's feeling " Hgmmmr, I feel like I've got a hole in the middle of my chest from hunger, That's not normal, man." If it were Jonathan of old, he would have complained or stopped and tried to solve the problem or asked for help, but he's determined to change, so he puts up with it, deciding that it must just be his body getting used to his new habits and diet.

It's getting dark in Lescatie, and in most homes, mothers and wives are starting their chores and preparing dinner for the family. In the quiet neighborhood of the house Jonathan won from James, the smell of all the food being prepared reminds Melanie that she has to prepare something for Jonathan to eat after training.

After discussing how the house would be run, since Jonathan would be spending most of his time training, they decided that the cooking and cleaning would be Melanie's responsibility, while the rest Jonathan could do in the morning before leaving.

The first few days of this arrangement were a bit of a mess, Melanie had no experience of housework or cooking, but after a few lessons from Jonathan ( who showed a born talent for making delicious dishes with little more than salt and pepper as seasonings ) Melanie is now able to replicate almost perfectly the dishes that Jonathan ( her master ) likes best.
Melanie "I have to make his favorite dish while I have time, he's much more lively after it" Singing a tune to herself, she begins to prepare the meat and ingredients.

Even though she is a mamono of the bestial type, she proves to be quite capable of subtle and delicate movements, without leaving any dirt behind. Even her hair has never been found on food since she started cooking.

Melanie " Hmmmm... But I don't think that's enough" Even after preparing one portion for herself and twice as much for Jonathan, she feels that it's not enough. She's noticed that even after meals, Jonathan is still hungry, based on his mannerisms and how some sounds come out of his stomach when he sleeps (something she's noticed thanks to her keen senses and instincts).

It's also something that Melanie has noticed, that sometimes Jonathan starts looking at nothing with a sad look on his face, but whenever she tries to talk to him about it, the boy manages to change the discussion to other things that take the focus away from her.
"""" Sound of door opening """""

Jonathan - Hi Melanie, I'm home! - Without knocking on the door and using only his key, he walks in, smelling food and his stomach growling once again.

Melanie - Ahh - exclaims happily, now she has to remember to ask him a few questions. But first, dinner.

Dinner, as usual, is made up of the two of them chatting about all sorts of things and about their day. As Melanie is locked in the house for safety's sake, since it would be very bad if she were caught by some citizen of Lescatie, she doesn't have much to say, but she still pays attention to what Jonathan says, and to the stories he sometimes tells her. Melanie really wants to know how the story of this 'naruto' continues, but she needs to remember what she wanted to ask Jonathan (her master) about.

After eating and looking satisfied for a few moments, which Melanie soon sees is false, he sits down on the sofa, and Melanie comes to sit next to him, choosing the right words and starting to speak but stopping midway.

Melanie - Jonathan? I've wanted to ask you this for a while, but... Are you all right? - Finally finding her courage, she asks Jonathan, who now has his full attention on her.

Jonathan - Hmm? ... Yes I am, why? - Confused, and still feeling hunger pangs in his stomach, he looks at her without really understanding her concern.

Melanie - It's just that you always look hungry and tired, and something's been making you sad - Her concern is visible in the way she leans forward as she asks.

Jonathan - Well, yes, I've been a bit hungry, but that's only because I didn't have the training habits I have now. And what do you mean sad? I'm fine. - Trying to calm her down. He ends up telling just one lie.
Melanie - But you stare at nothing sometimes, sad and melancholy, I get worried, especially with you coming in tired every day -

Jonathan - Me... "Look, the problem I have, you wouldn't be able to help, so there's no need to worry." He replies, and for a moment he feels guilty for the face Melanie made when she heard his answer.

Melanie: But you're always coming home from training almost passed out. Wouldn't it be better to stop all this training you're doing at least for a little while?! - Her worries finally boil over, every day watching Jonathan break down just to get stronger leaves her in a constant state of worry. She can't explain why, but she knows that sooner or later he's going to collapse from all the effort and fatigue.

But something in her words frustrates, no, angers Jonathan, he understands that she cares about him, he really does. But for some reason, some obscure part of him interprets what he has heard as follows.

"I don't want you to try so hard, you're not capable of it"

Jonathan - I know it looks bad, but I promise, I'll be all right - His face shows a smile, but he himself knows how fake it looks. He doesn't want to have these thoughts, but they're here, and now, before she realizes it and he ends up saying something that can't be taken back, he has to cool off somewhere. For her sake and his own.

Jonathan - I'm going for a walk, okay, to clear my head - Turning his back to her, he doesn't want her to see his face at the moment.

Melanie - Jonathan - Speaking almost as a sigh, she watches him walk out the door, her worry still eating away at her and making her search for any way to make him stay.

Melanie "Please talk to me, don't go, please, I need to think of something" Even as she racked her brains to find the words to say, she realized that she had never encountered a situation like this before. All her life, her problems were minimal and with simple solutions, her life was peaceful and carefree, never had she been in such a complex dilemma, of wanting to help but knowing that the other side doesn't want to. "Donkey, donkey, think of something, come on you donkey" Biting her lip in frustration, she tried once more to call him.

Melanie - Jonath - The sound of the door closing interrupts her, and she is left alone with her thoughts of anger at not being able to help him and can only watch as he destroys himself inside. Tears well up in her eyes, and she stares at the door, begging her beloved to come back.

In the busy streets of Lescatie, movement is continuous and noisy. While it's still early evening, several shops are still open, people are still walking down the street and drunks are still dancing in the bars. While on the main street, a stream of people pass by with their sights set on one another, a figure walks with a low profile and without meeting anyone's gaze.

Jonathan " Great, now I'm feeling sick, what a beautiful thing! " A horrible feeling has occupied his mind since he managed to calm down a bit, but as soon as his head started thinking again, he realized how insensitive he had been to Melanie.

Jonathan " Ughhhhrrrrh, why don't I stop feeling hungry, man?!" He tried hard not to put his hand on his stomach and stagger, the hunger he felt had gone from a simple annoyance to a real pain. He feels as if someone has hit him in the stomach with something on fire. This only hinders his attempts to think of an excuse before returning.

Looking around him, he notices how many stores and restaurants are still open, the lights created by the magic stones set in metal asters, creating an archaic lamppost that fills the city with white lights instead of being dark like other cities in the order's territory that are not so abundant in their wealth.

However, even with all the distractions present, nothing that ails him, be it guilt over running away from Melanie, or the excessive hunger he feels, is forgotten.

Trying to think of something positive to cheer him up, he starts to look around and sees all sorts of people. But what catches his eye the most is something he's been doing his best to ignore since he arrived in this world.

Parents and their children are out on the streets, walking around the city and just having a good family time, taking a breather and simply having fun and chatting without any apparent purpose or topic. Children laughing, on their fathers' laps, running in front of their mothers, being lifted into the air by their fathers, it's a very moving and jovial scene, a sight that really shows how prosperous and peaceful this city can be.

While looking at all this energy, Jonathan feels a hole in his chest, even his hunger is forgotten when he is confronted with this feeling. The hole he tried to plug by simply concentrating on other things, hoping it would remain hidden, is now open, and he manages to give this feeling a name.

Longing.

Jonathan misses his family. His parents, his grandparents, his uncles, his cousins, his friends. This is the pain that he finally confronts.

And it hurts, a lot. It's not the simple longing you feel when you travel and know you'll be back in a few days or weeks. Jonathan doesn't know if he'll even make it home, and he's been moving forward without thinking about the consequences, still fascinated by the magical world he finds himself in. And finally, after staying in one place for a long time and having time to think about everything he wanted to ignore. He'll probably never see his family again, that's the truth. And another truth is that I must already be dead to them.

With all the time he's spent in this world, assuming that time here is the same as there, any search for his disappearance must already be over. At least those carried out by the police, Jonathan knows that his family wouldn't be able to move on without at least finding his body to say a final goodbye to him. They will grieve for years perhaps, wondering what happened to me, and brooding inside, even wondering if it was something they did, if it was something they didn't give me, if it was not paying enough attention to me, or if they expected too much of him and increased the pressure he felt until he decided to run away.

Which would be a lie, since Jonathan knew from an early age that he was blessed. Of course, he wasn't born rich, or super intelligent or special in any way. But he had something that none of that could replace. He was loved, unconditionally and with all the affection in the world. The uncles who already had children tried to set an example for me, because they were so proud of him, and those who didn't, considered him their son and felt enormous pride and affection for him.

His grandparents, who never missed a thing in his life, always saw him as the best thing that ever happened to them. They drew happiness from the fact that he grew up healthy and well, and they never wanted to let their age stop him from pursuing his dreams, even though they knew that Jonathan had never stopped caring for them.

From your friends, your true friends that you got after a long time and difficulties, friends who stood by me even though they saw that I was different. Friends who warned me when I screwed up and forgave me when I screwed up with them. Friends who, even if they are few, bring you immense joy.

And his parents, his parents who took care of him with all the love and affection anyone could have. They never doubted, they never questioned, they were never disappointed, they never mistreated him, they were never bitter and they never asked for anything in return, just for me to be happy and live well.

Jonathan also knows that all this love was given to him, even though he was a complete good-for-nothing and a failure in his eyes. He had no achievements, he had no money to help his family, he didn't even have a higher education, or a degree to get him into a career, he didn't even have a plan for his life. He was blessed even after all that.

That's why he decided to change, that's why he needs to do heroic deeds and become someone he can respect and be proud of. Maybe then he'll never again feel like he doesn't deserve what he has.

Jonathan "But what's the point of me changing, if they won't be here to see it?" Coming to this conclusion, a sad and melancholy smile accompanied by tears, he doesn't want to hold it in any longer, the hope he had that his efforts would pay off dies and his lamentation leaves him numb, without caring where he goes or who was looking at his tear-soaked face, Jonathan burrows into an alley and sits with his back against the wall.

His memories appear in his head like a hammer driving him deeper and deeper into the dark.

Jonathan - Ahg, agh, ugh, ah, ah - Finally, Jonathan hugs his knees and tries to block out the world around him and let it all pour out. More and more tears fall from his eyes, his breathing goes wrong and a strong throbbing in his head makes him dizzy. His tears don't stop even when he holds his head tightly and pulls at his hair, nor when he tries to hide his face by clutching it tightly. Jonathan finally admits something to himself that he finally recognizes.

Jonathan "There is no one who loves the real me in this world" This time the tears come out like rain, and he admits the loneliness he feels.

Under the darkness of the unlit streets of Lescatie, the young man finally lets his illusion end and confronts reality. While inside a closed room with the lights off, a girl stands looking at the moon, her face freshly dried from all the crying, and a determined expression like she's never had before, and then she swears an oath.

Melanie - I'm going to save him, no matter what -