Author's Note: As you might guess from the quick update, I wrote this a while ago. Enjoy!
Elsewhere in the universe, Eldrad had a slight headache.
The reason for that was the message from Iyanden requesting his presence, if at all possible. Oh, it was quite possible for him to go… the gate to Commorragh was also a gate into the Webway, if you used it properly. And right now, with their dark kin slightly reforming, relations were a bit less tense than they'd been. He could use it.
It would still require sucking up to the head of the drukhari expedition, which was a pain in the ass. Hand selected by Vect, Drazbran Arsbrath was a vicious privateer and an excellent commander. Well bloodied in war, he'd fought the necrons, humans and tyranids in both fair and unfair battles. Eldrad arranged to see him and met him on his flagship.
Drazbran was a handsome and vital aeldari. Truly beautiful, in a way similar to Laaror, he had brilliant scarlet hair. In defiance to the usual fashions, his hair was cropped short and spiked. He wore fine black armor and was sitting in his command chair, a leg crossed over his knee in a casual pose.
"You want to use our gate to the Webway to go to Iyanden? What is happening there?" Drazbran asked and Eldrad shrugged.
"Possibly nothing of importance," he said, deliberately downplaying it. "However, a pwi-Necron psyker is in need of training. He is at least blessed by a God and possibly an Avatar." Eldrad wished he could keep that to himself, but alas, it was the only reason Iyanden needed his help. Training Avatars was not for the faint of heart. Drazbran steepled his hands together.
"We have knowledge of those Hopian humans, from the wretched Kabal that was raiding them. Their God might give a blessing, but he would not select an Avatar. The Emperor of the humans is even more absurd, they do not believe in him at all. What God do you suspect of doing such a thing? What is the reasoning behind this?" Drazbran asked and Eldrad frowned.
"He has already channeled Cegorach," Eldrad flatly stated, and Drazbran leaned back a little, surprised. "We suspect him of being blessed by the Laughing God, or even an Avatar." Although Eldrad knew a little of human traditions and the name Loki suggested something else entirely. However, he was not going to share that with Drazbran. The drukhari suddenly laughed.
"I would say that is absurd, but the Laughing God does what he wills!" Indeed. "Very well, in recognition of our alliance, you may use our gate. I really just wanted to know what was going on," Drazbran admitted candidly and Eldrad nodded. "We will keep in mind that the Stormlord has such a thing." Yes, they surely would… that was unfortunate but could not be helped.
As he left, Eldrad reflected on the fate of the Kabal that had been raiding Hope. Zahndrekh had plotted his revenge patiently, waiting decades, but then had secured a perfect chance to utterly destroy them. Eldrad knew it had undoubtedly been Orikan's work… Zahndrekh had paid him handsomely for the service. Oh, there had been some survivors, but that Kabal had broken and been absorbed by other Kabals. They no longer existed.
A just punishment for all they had done.
Loki was feeling super cheerful as he went to meet the aeldari again. He'd taken a really good rest cycle, to make sure he was ready for this, and he was going to meet Eldrad! He was going to meet Yvraine! They were super important and the Iyanden eldar said they'd be super helpful in sorting him out! This was great! Although Loki did suspect maybe it wasn't so great, maybe he'd really scared them, but he was trying to stay positive. Also, it was crazy to think maybe he'd scared aeldari, right? They were all so much stronger than humans!
Loki had a sneaking feeling he was actually in trouble but ignored it. There was no point in worrying anyhow, what was he going to do, flee Craftworld Iyanden? Technically he COULD do that but the Stormlord would be MAD! He was here for training! So instead of being dumb(er) Loki went through the gardens of Iyanden to meet the greatest eldar sages to live.
I love these gardens so much, Loki thought, stopping to admire the views. Calling them gardens wasn't really doing them justice… this was like an indoor forest! Great trees stretched for the sky and wound along the hull of Iyanden. It wasn't a thick forest though, no, it was a light forest with copses of trees and plenty of bushes and grasses. Lovely flowers too, some of which were budded but others were in bloom. Loki kept walking but had to pause again to admire a statue. It was made out of a strange material, and so pretty, a female aeldari holding her arms out and singing. Was she singing a paean of praise to the gods? Maybe!
Loki somehow wasn't surprised when he reached the clearing the aeldari had told him to go, and glowing chains abruptly wound around him. He was knocked down but caught himself a bit, managing to land on his knees. That would have hurt like hell when he was still human but as a necron, it didn't bother him a bit.
"This is a bit rude isn't it?" Loki said, pretending to be offended. It was kind of weird how he wasn't even alarmed by this, he'd known he'd scared them. He shouldn't have taken the eldar to the Land of the Dead, hadn't he known better? But then, Tizca was out of the question, the Arena was way worse – Loki was sure now that belonged to Khorne – and the Great Wasteland was a terrible idea too. Not because it was a bad place, but because 'elves' sometimes showed up there and begged and cried for help. Now, Loki understood what that meant and because time wasn't linear in the Warp they might still be there and Loki couldn't put the aeldari through that. He had been a lot of other places, but none of them had stuck in his mind so he couldn't go back and while he could have taken them to a new place, then you just didn't know what you'd get. Of all the options, the Land of the Dead had been the best.
The eldar totally ignored him and Loki got to see Eldrad and Yvraine for the first time. They were both super imposing, in different ways! Eldrad was very handsome but not young at all, which meant that he had to be super old… aeldari aged way, way differently than humans. Yvraine was super pretty and intimidating but her headdress made Loki a bit puzzled. You could put someone's eye out with that!
Eldrad and Yvraine didn't say a word, just flanking him and Eldrad reached out to touch his head as Yvraine closed her eyes, pulling up a massive force. Loki recognized it as a God before his mind went completely blank, like his thoughts had been frozen in ice. Then something shifted deep inside, like his mind was rebooting but with a different operating system installed. It was the weirdest feeling, like he wasn't exactly the same person anymore.
/Well, I thought you were onto me/ Loki said, noticing as he did that he'd shifted back to his appearance in dreams. Light skinned with blonde hair and his golden horns. He was wearing the grey greatcloak, trimmed with fur, just like he had with the old man and as he spoke his breath left puffs of smoke, like it was cold outside. /What do you want?/ Loki adjusted his legs to be a bit more comfortable, taking a more informal stance.
"What is the meaning of this? Why are you possessing this child?" Eldrad said, coming right to the point. Loki was less than impressed.
/You expect me to answer? Go ask your clown, this is his fault,/ Loki said and Yvraine reached out. The gesture was a naked threat as power gathered in her hand. /I wouldn't do that. You'd regret it a moment later/
"Great spirit, why are you sealed in the body of this necron? Why are you acting in service of the Stormlord? And forgive me… who are you?" The Iyanden Farseer, what was her name again, Morfynn? Said as she stepped forward. Loki felt a bit of pity for her.
/That last part is a stupid question, although I suppose you have to ask. I'm Loki, the real one. Obviously/ Really, who else would he be? /As for how I got sealed here, I really would love to send you to the clown for an explanation… but I suppose he never answers a question, except with a riddle/ Loki sighed, sending a gust of arctic wind through the air. A few of the eldar shivered. /Fine, I'll explain, but with visual aides. Don't be alarmed,/ he said before gesturing his head, pointing his chin to the side.
A great window opened up, similar to the screen he'd created with the old man. It billowed for a moment before showing a young human woman with dark skin and thick, crinkly hair. Loki felt a moment of deep shock as he recognized her. It was his mum, and she was so young! She couldn't be older than seventeen! Wow, she'd been pretty – wait, that was his MUM, what was he thinking?! Part of him wasn't phased at all, though, and continued smoothly.
/Roughly a hundred years ago, a young woman lived on a remote world named Hope. Typical in every way, except for one: She was a Gamma level psyker/ His mum was what?! The image showed her gazing at a land speeder and gently lifting it before setting it down, with just her mind. It showed her reaching out a hand and filling it with fire, gazing into the flames. /She was so powerful she would have been an asset to the war effort against the drukhari/ Then his mum was holding her own head, tears filling her eyes as she fell to her knees. Her face was full of terror. /And she could not bear that, for she could see enough of the future. She could see what would befall her, if they took her. That she would be contained and given to the haemonculi and never given the release of death/ Loki wanted to cry, wanted to reach out and hug his mum and say it was fine, that wasn't going to happen, she'd be fine… but this was all the past.
/So she locked her gifts away/ The scene shifted to his mum, her face tearstained but resolute as she closed her eyes. Doing something inside her own head. /In most of the Imperium of Man, this would not have worked, but on Hope the walls of reality are thick. It is possible for a psyker to resolutely deny their gifts and wall them away, untroubled by the screams of the Warp. And so she did, and lived as a normal woman./ The scene shifted to show his mum, working at a factory and going out with a man that Loki recognized, with a pain in his heart, as his dad. They looked so happy together. Then, though, the scene showed his mum going to a clinic and listening to a doctor? /Then, for her, disaster/
/She was told she suffered from infertility/ his mum's expression was shocked, disbelieving, as she listened to her doctor. /A pregnancy was possible but unlikely and she should resign herself to being childless/ The scene shifted to his mum kneeling in front of a cross, a family shrine. She had her hands together, tears on her face as she prayed. /She could not accept this and she knew her gifts. She unlocked them, in this time, to send a cry into the Immaterium. To pray God to grace her with a child. Son or daughter, it did not matter, but a little one for her own. She cried out to God, and her cry penetrated the thick walls of reality, going deep into the Warp and reaching him. He heard her, very clearly/
/Yet he could not simply grant her request/ The scene shifted to his mum, holding the hand of a little boy, maybe five years old. Was that him? That had to be him! They were walking down the street in a city. Hey, was that Hope's Landing? They were probably there on vacation, they wouldn't be living there yet. /For this child would be born an Alpha Plus psyker and the powers would manifest early/ Wait, what?! /As children will do, he would imagine a great tower becoming a robot like the child's show he had recently watched/ In the vision, that literally happened. An office tower suddenly turned into a great, shining robot! /Of course, that would kill everyone inside, but little children do not understand such things/ The vision showed a bit of blood dripping down the sides of the robot and Loki knew everyone inside had been crushed. The little boy didn't get it though, he just squealed and grinned as his mum looked frozen, her eyes widening. /This would be the start of a great catastrophe/
The scene showed more items being changed into robots, and then the Hopian forces trying to stop them. They showed Loki's mum begging him to stop but the little kid Loki just couldn't get it and started to cry as his robots were being destroyed and then the robots started to fight back. Everything just went to hell, and the vision didn't show everything but it showed Hope's Landing being reduced to burning rubble and his mum and Loki both finally being killed. Loki's mum, mortally injured, held him and cried as the world burned.
Then the image shifted and it showed Loki! The real Loki, dashing through what looked like endless halls of grey stone. They were constantly shifting, though, in ways that made the eyes hurt and he danced from side to side, jumping from wall to wall, exploiting shifting gravity? Loki had a feeling this was just an interpretation of events they could understand, not what it had actually been like. Then he saw what was chasing Loki… it was an Angel! Brilliantly white, wings flapped as it simply blasted through the halls, not bothering to exploit the rules the way Loki was. It was powerful enough that it didn't have to.
/I knew none of this, of course. I was minding my own damn business when the White God decided he would have me and sent his Angels to take me. I am not particularly strong but I am fast and clever and sneaky, so I was confident I could get away from them/ the scene shifted to Loki's face and he was glancing back and grinning, his teeth very white and sharp. Then his eyes went wide and they could all see a tripwire of gold had caught him on the ankles! He went flying! /Until a certain clown interfered/ The jester came out of the shadows as Loki hit a wall with stunning force, a bit of blood exploding from his mouth. The jester was wearing a mask of grinning gold and his eyes looked particularly sinister to Loki… he could tell Cegorach was really enjoying this.
/God's angels are powerful but not particularly nimble. I am agile enough to get away from them. Cegorach is very nimble, but not particularly powerful. I could not get away from him, but I could fight him. However, those two powers working together… well, I was just completely screwed/ Loki-the-real-one still tried, but it was sad and hopeless and he was quickly overwhelmed and dragged into the presence of a shining ball of light. Was that God, or just an incredibly powerful Angel? He was forced to kneel before the angel and behind him, the Jester stood, a hand on his shoulder as he grinned.
/God and I are not friends, but I would not say we are enemies, and he understands how my mind works. He knew if he simply used me without explanation, I would fight him at every turn, but if he gave me his reasons I might grudgingly accept so he explained all of this/ Loki said and the scene showed him looking resentful indeed, as God explained everything. /God explained that he had chosen me to fuse with the child, becoming part of his soul/ Wow, really?! Although even as he listened to the story, Loki wasn't entirely surprised. This knowledge had always been buried in his mind, hidden in the other operating system.
"Why did he just not allow this woman to remain childless?" One of the eldar asked and Loki knew that was a dumb question. Dumber than a slug at a salt convention. Normally he wouldn't have SAID that because well, that was rude but Loki-the-real-one did not give a shit.
/That is a stupid question. So stupid that I am shocked you let it pass your lips,/ he said and damn, that was a cold burn! /Try stirring the cheese between your ears and see if you can come up with an answer/ The eldar looked really mad but then Eldrad gestured sharply at him.
"He is right, that is a stupid question. If she is powerful enough to reach out to her own God, and her prayers go unanswered, what would she do but pray to another god?" Yeah, of course she would! His mum had loved the stories of the old gods and she hadn't known a thing about the Ruinous Powers! Of course she would!
/Exactly. And there were four entities who would have been more than pleased to give her the monkey's paw she desired/ Loki said and Yvraine tilted her head a little to the side, looking at him curiously.
"Mon'Keigh paw? What is this you say? I do not understand," she said and Loki grinned. It was an evil grin, full of sharp white fangs, but then his grins were never nice were they? Even his smiles were scary!
/Just an old human story, about a cursed wish giving artefact. Actually, I'll tell you the story, in abbreviated fashion… it's rather good. The monkey's paw is the preserved paw of a little primate, with three fingers held up, to show that three wishes can be made. But it is cursed and if you use the wishes, you will regret it. In the story, the man who acquires the paw desperately needs money to save his business. So he makes his first wish and his son dies in an accident. The money he receives from his son's insurance is exactly the amount he needs to save his business/ Loki said before grinning again. /Realizing the item is truly cursed, he repents his actions but his wife knows what he did and she takes the paw before making the second wish… that their son be alive again. But as the doorbell rings, the man remembers, with horror, that the autopsy report had indicated their son was torn to pieces. He can only be alive as a horrifying monster. So he takes the paw and makes the final wish, that their son be dead again, just as his wife opens the door and screams. And that is the story of the monkey's paw… the story of wishes that will always bite you in the ass/
"Hmph. If humans are so aware of how these things work, why do they constantly make deals with the Ruinous Powers?" That was the same eldar as before. Loki shrugged a little, as best he could with the chains.
/Well, I might have called your brains cheese, but I'll grant that they're nice fresh cheese. Many humans have rotten cheese curds between their ears pretending to be brains/ Loki paused, glancing up at the ceiling for a moment. /And to be fair, the Imperium follows the philosophy of treating them like mushrooms… keeping them in the dark and feeding them shit. I wouldn't be surprised if the story I told you is mostly lost, although it's well known on Hope/
/At the time, I demanded to know what skin Cegorach had in this game/ The image showed Loki literally bending backwards, so he could look at Cegorach upside down as he demanded answers. /He only responded with awful jokes, but now I understand… Manric Duleth was not born at this time, but his parents lived in Hope's Landing/ Ohhhh. /If this terrible fate had been allowed to come to pass, they would have been killed and he would not have been born. You would not have retrieved the final Crone Sword, and all his prophecies would have come to naught. Of course he could not let that happen/
"Incredible, that this woman accidentally managed to hold two Gods hostage," one of the eldar observed and Loki chuckled, a cold, wintery sound.
/Indeed, although I suspect they had a backup plan if I didn't work out/ Loki-not-the-real-one was scared to find out. /Cegorach could have sent his Harlequins to kill the woman/ WHAT?! HIS MUM?! /Infinitely easier, but not the White God's way and also, it might even bring a tear to the clown's eye, that this poor woman had to die for the crime of wanting a child. He would probably have dispatched that one Masque, what is their name… ah, I can't remember, the ones that express his sadness. He would have sent them and wallowed in the sorrow of it all/ Loki was getting the feeling that Loki-the-real-one wasn't fond of Cegorach. Although, maybe it was just that he knew him too well? /Going to all this trouble to capture me and fuse me with a mortal, though, that tickled his funny bone. Ah, the absurdity of it all, that they were going to such lengths to fulfill a woman's wish!/
"But why did you return to him? When the biotransference was performed, you were returned to the Warp. Did you take his soul with you, then bring it back to him? Why did you do that?" Eldrad pressed and Loki paused, just gazing at them with eyes of warp fire. Finally, he responded.
/Perhaps you would understand. You are also old… the Warp is not linear, it is hard to understand, but I am old. He brings me back/ …Huh? Loki-not-the-real-one didn't get it as Loki-the-real-one glanced at the screen. It swirled, before showing an image of Loki, walking cheerfully along an icy path. Behind him was a great, half-naked man wearing bear furs. His hair and beard were bright red and he was carrying a hammer slung over his shoulder. Behind him was a man with black hair, in a black greatcloak and a patch over one eye. He had a really nice beard, braided and decorated with some golden rings. His clothing was very fine but practical, well suited to the outdoors. As they watched, Loki turned around and danced towards his friends, gesturing as he said something. The man with the hammer laughed and the one-eyed man smiled. /Back to when I was young and happy. Back to when every day was an adventure, that I could spend with my friends/ Loki looked away from the image, feeling a strange tightness in his chest. It was Loki, Odin and Thor going on an adventure, just like they had in the stories… but they couldn't do that anymore. Not now, and not for a very long time.
/There is also another thing. Until now, I would never have imagined I could crave order. How could I know? I was born into a land of chaos, we all were. Yet now, I live in a world where up is up, down is down, and everything is just where it should be/ Loki tilted his head, looking at Eldrad, then Yvraine. /Have you ever thought about how marvelous it is that when you drop a rock, it falls? Or that when you drop a piece of paper on water, it floats? And it does that every time? You can even predict exactly where it will fall. It's easy. What is this world you live in?/ Loki asked and Loki-not-the-real-one agreed completely. That was what made the real world so much better than the Warp, that everything just made sense! /I wanted to come back here. This place is just better/ Yeah, this place was the best!
/I did take his soul with me, and I returned it, absorbing the infant soul he was given. It added a touch to his psionic might, but only a touch. His power – our power, is truly monstrous. But we have the ability not to use it. You understand,/ Loki said, knowing they would get it. The biggest advantage the aeldari had over humans when it came to using their Warp powers was their level of instinctive control. To them, Warp entities didn't scream in their ears, they were just voices in the distance, a soft murmur of conversation. The eldar could instinctively hide themselves, presenting the Warp with iron walls and most of all, their powers rarely went out of control. Humans had to fight with themselves all the time, since they weren't adapted to it, but the eldar were and if anything, Loki was even better at it. He'd been born in the Immaterium, after all. /And so, here we are. If you want to know my motivation, it is just to be Loki. Not myself, but him. This darling child, who loves his mother and his friends/ Awww!
"I see… interesting," Eldrad said and Loki thought he had a lot to digest. "There is one last thing. You seem hostile towards the Laughing God? Is there some matter between the two of you?" He was actually curious about that too! Loki could feel the knowledge, but couldn't grasp it. There was a long pause and Loki-not-the-real-one could feel Loki-the-real-one trying to think of how to explain.
/I want to make it clear that I don't hate him. I don't wish him ill. However, I would like it if your clown would stop fucking with me/ Loki finally said. /Have you heard of the Roast of the Gods? Where Cegorach told your entire pantheon what he thought of them?/ Oooh, that sounds like a good story! Loki did that to the Norse gods too once! The eldar nodded. /Look, I know the Trickster God is an archtype and as he's the oldest, we are all technically copies of Cegorach. Still, being called his worthless little brother and having my failures mocked was a bit hard to take/ Ouch! /Particularly – actually, I don't even want to go into it/ It was the Sleipner thing wasn't it? /And the peanut gallery can shut up!/ Yep, that was it. /Nevermind. Also, that fucking… having a riddle challenge to enter the Black Library is fine but all kinds of people have managed to solve it, why can't I do it?! That cumstain -/ HEY LANGUAGE! Mum will wash your mouth out with soap! /Shut up I don't care about your mum – that bastard must be saving up the best riddles for me! I don't even want to get into the Black Library, I don't give a shit, I just want to win the riddle contest! WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!/ Loki felt his power surge and all the aeldari took a step backwards and just for a moment, Loki knew they were seeing the real Loki and he wished he could see it himself, what did it look like? From the looks on their faces, it was pretty scary! Then Loki-the-real-one deliberately calmed himself. /I'm sorry. I'm not angry or hateful, I'm really not, I'm just frustrated/
/Then, to bring this to the present, Cegorach hijacks my incarnation whenever he wants an avatar,/ hey wait what? Cegorach was doing what? /He just does it for fun and the child enjoys it but for me, it's damned annoying. Although I have to admit it can be funny… the first time it happened, the boy was eight years old. Imagine a tiny little Cegorach jumping over bookcases in the Black Library, Harlequins in hot pursuit, cheerfully telling them if they didn't catch him in fifteen minutes he was going to start setting the books on fire/ OUCH! /Those were some hectic fifteen minutes, let me tell you. Then, to add insult to injury, he departed before letting one of his Harlequins spank me/ Hey, he remembered that now! Loki had thought at the time he deserved it for being a brat but that hadn't been him at all? That had been Cegorach? That was super unfair! /Also, that damned voice in the boy's head that got him in trouble all the time as a child/ THAT WAS CEGORACH?! /I know he meant it well, so the child wouldn't trust the voices when he got older, but damn that clown pisses me off/ Well Loki-not-the-real- one was starting to see why! He'd gotten spanked so many times for doing what that voice suggested, ideas that seemed like they should be fun and amazing but always went so horribly wrong! That was so mean!
"Oh, I see… we sometimes feel a bit the same about the Laughing God," Yvraine said with a smile and Loki was sure they did! What a dick! "I think that is all we need, unless there is something more you wish to say?"
/Not particularly. I rarely give my motivations this honestly, but it favors me at the moment. And unlike the clown, I am capable of talking straightforwardly. I suspect it would give him an aneurysm to try,/ Were they just going to keep shitting on Cegorach now? /Actually, there is something… Cegorach was telling you that you can teach us nothing of the Warp. However, you NEED to teach us how to use our abilities in the real world. I have never incarnated before, never taken an Avatar, so I know nothing of this. We require guidance/ Loki said and Yvraine nodded before reaching out. She touched his head again and that shift happened again, Loki's mind freezing before rebooting the way it was supposed to be. And as it did, something hit him, something that had been hidden behind everything else.
"I know it's important to train me, but can we take this up tomorrow?" Loki said, his mind overwhelmed by deep and painful emotions. He stared at the eldar, not seeing them at all, as he remembered. "I know she was just an image on a screen to you but to me, that was my mum." His mum, holding him when he cried, telling him crazy stories and taking him on trips to the museum. His mum, old and frail and in a hospital bed as he held her hand and she smiled. "Mum…" Loki dropped his head, feeling all the grief return. His mum had been dead a long time, but suddenly it felt all new again.
I miss you mum.
