"And in the naked light I saw… Ten thousand people maybe more…" I sang under my breath to the music playing as I sat in the cockpit of the Phantom. I'd fished my phone out from the compartment in the cabin, and found it still had 40% battery left. It also showed me the date, which I was dreading just a little bit. I did the maths after a few weeks of being in this galaxy, and found that a certain date was edging closer and closer. At least, by Earth's timeframe. And this morning, I decided to check my phone to be sure.
Today was my 22nd birthday.
I'd been in this galaxy for a little less than two months now, and I'd been handling it well enough, but today, the dam broke. Today was the first time it really hit home that I was as far away from everything I've known and loved as was possible. My mother was probably spiralling with depression, and my adorable baby sisters were likely confused, scared, and sad, wondering why their big brother who's doted on them all their lives has suddenly disappeared, and wasn't there for their 13th birthday 3 weeks ago.
With a deep, depressed sigh, I stared out of the windscreen, seeing nothing but the pale sky of Garel, and the occasional ship flying overhead. The perfect setting for me to wallow in my depression, listening to the saddest songs on my phone.
"You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being." I continued to sing as the hours rolled by. I didn't see anyone until around noon. Nobody comes up to the Phantom unless they need to, so it was a good place for me to brood.
"Lance?" Hera's voice called out as she climbed up the ladder to the Phantom. "Kanan said you were in here. I've got a job for you." She said as she entered.
"Yeah, sure, just give me a moment." I told her, wiping the last of my tears away.
"Have you been crying?" She asked, suddenly concerned as she saw me when I turned the chair around.
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with Hera." I assured her, though probably not all that convincingly.
"It's not 'nothing' if it has you like this Sweetie." She said, moving my head to face her, using a rag to clean my tears from my face. She really was a mother hen, wasn't she? She even called me Sweetie.
"It's called Chronic Depression, Hera." I said dryly as she pulled back. "Just one of several conditions I've had to live with since I was born." I said with a lackluster shrug. "It's fairly self-explanatory."
"I've never heard of it." She told me honestly.
"Not surprising. With all your advanced tech and medicine in this galaxy, most people probably get precautionary procedures done in utero, correct?" I asked.
"It is common." She conceded, crossing her arms. "So, what triggered it?" She asked. I was silent for a moment, not quite sure I wanted to answer. "Lance, I need to know if you're fit for duty, or if I need to bench you until this can be sorted out." She said, sternly but gently, eliciting a sigh from me.
"It doesn't always need a trigger." I started, leaning back into the chair. "Sometimes I just feel a little down, sometimes I just feel like I'm about to break down, other times I can't even get out of bed in the morning." I sighed, pulling out a photograph. It was taken at the beginning of the year, when I took my sisters to a waterpark before Uni started. I was wearing just a pair of swimming shorts, whilst my sisters, only coming up to my upper stomach, each latched on to one of my arms, smiling widely for the camera. They were pulling on my arms so hard I actually hunched forward. With a sigh, I handed Hera the photo. A surprised, albeit understanding look came across her face.
"You're thinking about your family." She guessed, getting a nod from me.
"Those are my sisters, Ruby and Jenny." I said as she handed the photo back. The girls had the same blue eyes as me, but they inherited Dad's jet black hair, rather than Mum's dark brown, like me. A lot of people told me it was scary how much Mum and I looked alike.
"You must miss them." She speculated, to which I nodded. "And yet, I get the sense that there's more to it." She said intuitively.
"Are you sure you're not Force-sensitive?" I asked with a sigh.
"It's called female intuition." She responded, amused, but focussed.
"I'm 22." I told her bluntly, confusing her for a moment. Then, she put the pieces together.
"It's your birthday." She deduced, getting another nod.
"This is the first birthday I've ever had away from my family." I said, remembering all my past birthdays. "I haven't made a big deal of my birthday in a long time, but we still went to my grandparents house every time, with my grandmother's chocolate cheesecake, my grandad would fire up the barbie, and we'd spend all day talking, eating, celebrating." I sighed in nostalgia, longing for those days again. "And now, like a slap to the face, it can't happen." I buried my face in my hands for a moment before resting my chin in them.
"I'm so sorry Lance, I can't imagine how hard that must be." Hera said, pulling me into a gentle hug. I hadn't been hugged in a while either. It was… nice. I felt better, at least, if only a little.
"Thank you Hera." I said with a deep breath as she let go of me after a few silent moments. "I do feel better now. Thank you." I said sincerely.
"I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen, Lance." She told me softly, but seriously. "So you think you can handle a little errand?" She asked.
"If you don't mind me using the sani-steam first, yeah." I nodded, getting a smile from her.
So, after I cleaned up in the refresher and geared up, Hera gave Ezra, Sabine, and myself a list of supplies to pick up. Some ration bars for the fleet, some parts for the fighters and other ships, and a few other miscellaneous items. That was the job Hera had for us, a supply run. I guess, after the fiasco with the Gravity Well and Ketsu, a quiet, easy mission like this would be a welcome break from all the drama.
"Excuse me?" Sabine asked with venom in her voice as we walked through the market stands of Garel. "Who's hand is this?" She asked dangerously as she twisted the hand of a sleazy looking guy who was behind her seconds ago. "Because I found it on my ass!" She hissed.
"Let go, let go, let go, let go!" The sleaze begged Sabine twisted his hand further. "Ah! What's your problem you damn lezzy!?" He barked at her as the pain intensified.
"Really?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow. "A girl doesn't like you groping her without consent and your first thought is she must be gay?" I asked with a shake of my head. "Wake up and smell the caf dipshit, you're a creep that even the loosest of slags wouldn't appreciate a grope from." I said as Sabine shoved him away from her. He snarled at me before marching off, grumbling under his breath as he nursed his aching, possibly broken, hand.
"Not that I don't appreciate it, but I can handle myself Lance." Sabine said as we continued on our way to the bulk warehouse. Ezra was running around, gawking at anything that caught his fancy, clueless to what just transpired.
"I have no doubt about that." I assured her, getting a satisfied nod from her. "Seriously though, thousands of years more advanced than Earth and you guys still have douchebags like that harassing women." I said with a disappointed sigh. Sad as it is, I guess it's only natural. No matter how much society develops in gender and race politics, there's always someone who believes they're better than the others.
"What can you do?" Sabine asked with a deep frown. Probably not the first time that's happened then…
"You know, in all the time I've known you, that's the first time I've seen that happen." I realised as we exited the market area and moved on to what looked like a shopping court. "With your looks, I figured you'd get harassed a lot more often." I said without thinking, facepalming once I realised what I said. "Mouth… meet foot." I sighed, looking at Sabine who was giving me an amused stare. "Sorry." I said simply.
"Don't worry about it." She rolled her eyes, elbowing me. "It's probably the armour. Few men are eager to flirt with a girl who's liable to feed them their teeth." She gave me a wicked grin.
"I guess so." I laughed.
"Still…" She trailed off, her grin turning into a light frown again.
"Don't tell me." I cut her off, holding up a finger. "There's a cultural thing across the whole galaxy about how if one can bed a Mandalorian woman, it's a sign of strength on manliness?" I guessed.
"Pretty much, yes." She confirmed, her eyes narrow. Seems that wasn't exactly a pleasant topic of conversation. Best to change the subject.
"Say, have I ever told you about how Van Gogh cut off his own ear?" I asked. She looked at me with a small smile, probably seeing the unsubtle change of topic. 'Probably' my ass...
It didn't take too long for us to get everything Hera had asked us to. We were lugging around three full crates by the time we were done. Ezra was looking surprisingly chipper throughout the whole trip. I wondered why, but didn't ask. In my experience, when someone's in such a good mood, they tend to talk about it a lot when asked about it. Best to just not say anything. That being said…
"Why are we in here?" I asked as the three of us walked around a tactical store. All manner of weapons, ammo, and armour were on display, and given the shifty look of the Rodian shop owner, I got the sense that there was some extra stuff out the back that he only sold to his special customers. Illegal guns and whatnot. Hey, lightsabers are illegal, so he might even have sabre parts back there. Wouldn't get my hopes up though.
"Nothing wrong with a little window shopping, is there?" Sabine asked with a wide smile as she perused the explosives.
"I suppose not." I conceded, allowing my eyes to wander over the vibroswords. Damn, those things were cool. I really wanted one, but funds were tight as is.
"Plus, Hera told me I could treat myself today." Ezra grinned, looking at the blaster pistols.
"Really? How come?" I asked.
"It's Empire Day." Sabine said with a roll of her eyes, smiling in amusement.
"Empire Day?" I asked in confusion.
"Oh, right." Ezra recalled. "You're not from, uh, here." He caught himself, remembering that the shop owner was still here. He didn't seem to be paying attention, thankfully.
"Empire Day is the anniversary of the day the Empire was founded." Sabine explained. Made sense. Wait, that means my birthday is the same day as the founding of the empire! Holy fuck, that was a creepy coincidence.
"That explains the sales and all that, but I don't get why you're in such a good mood Ezra." I noted to the young Jedi, who was feeling the weight of a blaster like mine. Might have been a different model, but I think the make was the same.
"I was born on Empire Day." He smiled. Wait, what?
"You're kidding." I said bluntly. That was just too much. I mean, really?
"I know right?" He asked with a chuckle, misunderstanding the reason for my surprise. "I think this might actually be the first time in years that I've been happy about my birthday." he commented.
"This… I mean, just wow." I said, putting a hand on my head.
"Lance, I get that it's surprising, but I doubt Ezra's the only one who's birthday coincides with Empire Day." Sabine said with a raised eyebrow, a look Ezra shared.
"You can say that again." I responded with a single laugh. "It's my birthday too." I revealed to them, getting two sets of wide eyes in response. "I did the maths a few weeks ago, and I checked the date on my cell phone. Today is the 20th day of the 5th month on Earth, my birthday." I explained.
"Is that why you were brooding in the Phantom with that weird music of yours?" Ezra asked in surprise. I decided not to comment on the insensitivity of his words.
"Yeah, it was." I nodded.
"Lance, I'm sorry, if we'd know…" Sabine trailed off, trying to find considerate words.
"Sabine, I'm alright. I already talked with Hera about it. I'm fine." I assured her. She looked at me for a moment before nodding in acceptance. Ezra looked like he was going to say something, but a look from Sabine stopped him.
Our window shopping continued for a little while after that. Ezra seemed intent on buying a blaster at first, then he started looking over the knives in the corner, then he started ogling the helmets. It didn't look like he was going to choose what to 'treat himself' anytime soon, so I just decided to roam about the shop without much thought. I was just about to offer to take the crates back to the Ghost myself because I was getting bored, when something caught my attention in the corner of my eye.
My jaw dropped as I saw it. On a rack, with several other similar, but nowhere near as awesome, garments, there hung a long, red leather coat. I was captivated. Call me dramatic if you have to, but I was utterly bamboozled by what I was seeing. I picked it up and held it out by the shoulders in front of me. It was dark red, smooth, slightly shiny, and extremely light, which was surprising considering how long it was.
Imagine if Dante's coat from Devil May Cry 5 met the Assassin's Creed uniform. Yeah, that's basically what I held.
I turned to face the shop owner. "Would you mind if I tried this on?" I asked him.
"Not at all." He shook his head. I wanted to grin like a maniac, but held myself down. Showing too much interest could provoke an increase in price.
Keeping my composure, although fanboying inside, I swung the red coat around to my back and slipped my arms through the sleeves. It fit perfectly. And it was so light as well. It went all the way down, a little ways past my knees, but it was light. I could only just feel it's weight on my shoulders, and it didn't interfere with my ability to reach my weapons. Not to mention, the colour was beautiful, and it looked awesome. Especially when I pulled the hood up. Call me childish, but I so wanted this coat. It looked awesome.
"Wow." What else could I say?
"You have a good eye there, young man." The Rodian said as I admired myself in the mirror they had in the shop. "That right there is genuine Gundark leather and armorweave. Strong, light, and highly resistant to blaster fire." He told me. Heh, I remember speaking like that when I worked in a clothing shop.
"Nice." Sabine commented, looking the coat up and down as she approached. I think she heard the Rodian's sales pitch there.
"I'm probably setting myself up for disappointment here, but how much is it?" I asked.
"1700 credits." he answered, making me cringe.
"Yep, that seems about right." I said with a sigh, taking the coat off.
"Sorry lad. It's already discounted from 2500." He told me apologetically as I handed the coat back.
"Oh well, easy come, easy go." I responded, shrugging. I'm still not familiar with how much the currency is worth here, but I know that 1700 is a fair amount.
"I don't suppose you'd be open to a trade?" Sabine asked curiously.
"It depends on what you have to offer." he said, eying her armour. "I need to make a profit after all." He reminded her. In response, Sabine reached into one of her pouches and pulled out a credit, silver in colour, and twice as big as the other metal ingot credits I'd seen, but unmistakably a credit. "My oh my…" The Rodian said, taking the credit from her hand. "A Beskar credit…" He said interestedly. Beskar? Isn't that the metal that Mandalorian armour is made of? I think Sabine mentioned it once or twice. "These are exceedingly rare." he said, giving her a sceptical look. "And you'd trade it for an armorweave coat?" he asked in reluctance.
"Sabine, you don't have to-" I was cut off by the Mando.
"The coat, some explosives, and something for the kid." She said, jabbing a thumb in Ezra's direction. That assuaged the owner's reluctance a little, but he still seemed unsure. A moment passed before he relented.
"Fine, the coat, as many explosives as you can carry without aid, and anything less than 700 credits." He bargained.
"Deal." Sabine accepted. The Rodian smiled, pleased with his bargain, and tossed me the coat. I caught it, a little flabbergasted, as the owner went into the back room, probably to lock that beskar credit in a safe or something.
"Sabine, I… I don't know what to say." I told her honestly, looking at the coat. "Thank you…" I said, as sincerely as I could. "I'm sure that must have been a big loss on your part." I suddenly felt bad.
"Consider it an impromptu birthday present, and a thank you for letting me read White Fang." She told me with a genuine smile, something I didn't see on her all that often. "I finished it recently. It was truly a work of art." She told me. All I could do was smile as I looked down at the coat. My coat. With a confident grin, I slipped the coat back on, admiring myself in the mirror again.
"I bet he's regretting that deal just a little bit right now, eh?" I asked in amusement as Sabine carried a bag full of inactive explosives, a wide smile on her face.
"He said 'as much as I could carry without aid.' I could carry these." She responded, smirking. How she was able to balance all those bombs in her arms without tipping them over was beyond me. I spent the whole time watching, scared they were going to go off at any moment. Thankfully, explosives only activate 72 hours after purchase, so they can't explode until three days from now, unless Sabine tampers with them. Which risks an explosion on the Ghost, so I don't think she'll try that.
"Hey Sabine, I just want to say I really appreciate what you did there." I said, tugging at the collar of my new coat. "It was really thoughtful of you, so… thanks." I told her softly.
"It really wasn't a big deal Lance." She promised me. I believed her, but I still felt a little bad. Beskar was incredibly valuable, and she probably could have used that for something a whole lot more than trying to cheer me up on my birthday. "Would you feel better if I told you I have four more of them on the ship?" She asked, surprising me.
"A little…" I let out, much to her amusement. Ezra, who'd gotten a new helmet for his collection out of the deal, a Mandalorian helmet replica made of the same stuff as Stormtrooper armour, was walking ahead of us. He turned to face us as we neared the hangar bay.
"So, we get everything on Hera's list?" he asked, walking backwards as we caught up to him, turning forward again as we did so.
"Ration bars, spare parts, ammo and flight suits in bulk, at least one meiloorun, and a crate full of blasters." Sabine listed off of her fingers. "Should keep the Rebellion going for a little while longer." She commented.
As we entered the hangar bay where the Ghost was stationed, we found it empty, with the exception of Hera standing before a big bundle of crates, skimming through a datapad. It was barely mid afternoon, and she looked exhausted. Not in a 'about to fall over' way, but more like she'd just had a really long day. I suddenly felt really bad about brooding in the Phantom all morning…
"We're back." Sabine announced to the Phoenix Leader, tossing her the meiloorun. I laughed when Ezra told me the story behind 'Commander Meiloorun.' Hera caught the fruit, a happy look in her eye as she looked at the fruit for a moment.
"This is gonna get me through the day." She said with a tired sigh. "You got all the stuff?" She asked, getting a nod from the Mando. "Good. Load the rest on the Ghost, but leave the spar parts and flight suits behind. I'll have Zeb take them to the Liberator." She told us. We nodded and separated the spare parts and flight suits, probably meant for all the fighters and their pilots. "We're going to deliver the rest to some Anti-Imperial insurgents on Tatooine." She explained. Tatooine huh?
This… this is an opportunity. I could use this trip to find Kenobi and change the course of the whole galaxy. I've read those tedious fanfics where the SI goes out of his way to preserve the canon universe before realising it's a fool's errand. That's why I haven't done anything like that. No matter what I do, the simple act of existing on my part has likely changed the course of the galaxy already in some way or another. Maybe big, maybe small, who knows?
Until now, I've just been letting the galaxy run its course and taking things as they come. Even if I wanted to change things, what would they be? Kenobi's an old man who probably won't want to fight a second war, so it's unlikely he'd want me to save his life, preventing him from turning into a Force Ghost. Luke losing his hand to Vader only made him stronger in the end, and I'm not sure what purpose saving Han from Boba would serve. He got out alright in the end. Of course, that's all just assuming my presence hasn't already changed all that…
Wish I could remember more. Curse my interest in the expanded universe over the movies! I was always more interested in the shows, games, and the like more than the trilogies. I never even got around to watching the sequels… And now I never will. Damn that sucks… I only saw the Solo movie and Rogue One once each, and I barely remember anything from them except for Maul making an appearance at the end of Solo. Never found out what happened to him after Sidious grabbed him in The Clone Wars. And I only watched the first season of The Mandalorian. Fuck! And I never got around to watching the Rebels series either, even though I wanted to. Wonder what it would have been about?
I think the only thing I really want to change is the destruction of Alderaan. I mean, come on! It's entire fucking planet for God's sake! There are billions of people living on that planet, I at least have to try. I have now idea how I might pull it off, but if Ezra was born the day the Empire was founded, and he's 16 now, that means he's the same age as Luke, give or take a day or two. That means I have a little more than three years, until my 25th birthday, to figure out how I might save Alderaan.
The question remains, however, should I speak to Obi-wan now?
"Lance!" Hera's voice snapped my attention towards her. She, Sabine, and Ezra were giving me weird looks.
"Sorry, I was lost in thought." I said, shaking my head. I can worry about all that another day. "What were you saying?" I asked.
"I was saying we need to get ready for our trip to Tatooine." She told me with narrowed eyes. Not convinced I'm alright eh?
"Noted. What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Get on the Ghost?" She asked, giving me an obvious look.
"That would be a requirement, wouldn't it?" I asked wryly, getting a shake of the head from the pilot.
"Huh…" I said as we all entered the lounge, finding Kanan and Zeb holding a rectangular cake, with the words 'Happy Birthday Ezra!' written on it. Rex was there too. That might be the most Earthy thing I've seen in awhile. I also noticed that, in very crude writing, there were the words 'and Lance!' written underneath Ezra's name on the cake.
It was a quaint celebration, and though any wishes for me were unplanned and not initially supposed to be part of the day, they were genuine in wanting to celebrate with me today. Hera and Kanan practically spoiled Ezra with attention and affection as we all sat in the lounge, eating the cake, drinking caf and other beverages, and telling stories. Apparently, the reason why Hera had Ezra, Sabine, and myself go on that supply run was to give Kanan enough time to get the cake and have the baker add my name to it.
Zeb and Rex were laughing as everyone shared hilarious stories involving Ezra, and doing their best to say something about me here and there. I appreciated the effort, but this was supposed to be a celebration for Ezra, not me. When Hera was distracted telling one of her stories, I saw Sabine sneak a small bottle of liquor into her drink, which I thought was hilarious. She saw that I noticed and suddenly looked very guilty, but I was able to assuage her guilt. I've never expected my peers to refrain from what they enjoy just because I had a problem with addiction in the past.
Chopper was acting as the maitre'd of the celebration, having a tray on his head, making sure nobody was without something to drink at any point in time. It was surprising behaviour from the annoying little droid, but maybe he was able to tell there was a time and place for his antics. That, or Hera threatened some very unpleasant consequences if he were to be anything other than an absolute metal angel during our little celebration.
I briefly wonder if Ahsoka would show up, but didn't want to get my hopes up. As much as I would have liked to see my teacher on my birthday, she had work to do. She was still investigating Vader and the Inquisitors. Plus, she probably didn't know about mine or Ezra's birthday, so I doubt she would have seen any reason to be here. I wonder if Hera actually asked Sato not to assign the Ghost crew any missions for Empire day?
All in all, it wasn't the worst birthday I'd had.
"They never say hello to you, until you get it on the red light overload. You'll never know what you can do until you get it up as high as you can go~" I sang with the music as I sat in the Phantom again. This time, I wasn't brooding or wallowing in depression, I was just enjoying some quiet 'me time' with my music. Probably won't get to listen to my music again for a long time, so I was enjoying this as much as I could with my battery down to 17%.
My 22nd was a good birthday. The cake was great, though it didn't compare to my grandmother's, Sabine got me my new coat, which even Kanan, Zeb, and Rex were jealous of, and I even had a great day of bonding with the Ghost crew. I even got a birthday kiss from Sabine, on the cheek mind you, but it was hilarious seeing Ezra fume with jealousy there. I think that was probably the main motivator behind Sabine deciding to do that. And the slight buzz she had going.
"Lance?" Hera called out as she entered the Phantom.
"We really need to stop meeting up here. People might start talking." I quipped as I turned the chair to face her. She gave me a 'really' look as she crossed her arms.
"Sure." She gave me a mock patronising smile, making me laugh. "You seem to be in a better mood." She noted, taking a seat in one of the back seats.
"Today was… good." I said honestly. "For the first time since I got here, I feel like I can actually, well, be here… Does that make sense?" I asked, scratching my head.
"More than you realise." She responded in amusement. Seems like she knew what I was talking about. Makes sense. "I got something for you." She said, handing me a rectangular metal box, about the same size as my cell phone, and about as thick.
"A music player?" I asked, seeing the headphones magnetically attached to the back, and all the buttons along the sides.
"You really seemed into your music just now, and earlier when we spoke." She explained, smiling. "So, I got a whole lot of the most popular music in the galaxy, and put it in there." She told me. "And, you left that… cell phone?" She asked, getting a nod. "You left it in the Phantom earlier, so I had Chopper take a look at it, and he was able to extract all the audio files off of it and put it on there." She said, making my eyes widen.
I pressed the play button, and sure enough, one of my favourite songs, Cats in the Cradle by Ugly Kid Joe started playing in the headphones. I was shocked to my core. Just moments ago, I'd come to terms with the fact that it'd likely be years before I could ever listen to my music again, maybe even never, but then she goes and does this. I didn't even think it would be possible for our tech to connect, but here it is.
"I… I don't know what to say…" I said softly, my eyes welling. This… this was probably one of the best gifts I'd ever gotten. A little piece of home to keep with me at all times.
"Don't say anything." Hera said as she stood up, turning to leave. "Happy Birthday, Spectre 7." She said, climbing down the ladder as I looked up at her again.
Hey all. You know, I actually did the research, and Empire Day would actually fall at this point in Season 2 of Rebels. I figured, why the hell not? And this was the result.
Anyway, I hope this makes up for the April Fools chapter yesterday. ;P
