Chapter 24: Anne
August 31, 1998 – Monday
Restfield Cemetery
A bouquet of fresh flowers lay at the base of Andrew Hoelich's gravestone. A hand came out of the freshly-filled grave and clawed for solid ground. Slowly, Andrew pulled himself out of his grave, now a newly-made vampire. He growled when his head cleared the earth and continued to climb out on his stomach. He crawled along the ground, pulling out his legs, and stopped when he saw a pair of wide-spread legs standing before him. He looked up to see who it was.
Willow smiled mischievously. "That's right, big boy…Come and get it." She took a step back as Xander grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms tight around him and spinning him to the right.
Oz stepped up out of the shadows with a stake in hand. He pulled back ready to thrust it at the vampire.
"Any time now…" Xander told Oz.
Andrew suddenly kicked both legs up, slamming Oz in the jaw and sending him flying back. His legs continued their momentum and he flipped himself over Xander, landing behind him. Xander spun, ready to fight, as Willow rushed forward to help. He grabbed Xander and threw him into Willow sending them both sprawling. He then vaulted over the tombstone and started to hightail it out of there.
"He's getting away. And, ow!" Willow cried.
Oz stepped forward with an intense look of cool concentration on his face. He flipped the stake, grabbing the pointy end. He lined up his shot and let it fly. It bounced uselessly off a tomb about eight feet away from the vampire. "That really never works," he admitted as he turned to his friends. "Are you guys all right?"
"I can't believe he got away," Willow sadly admitted.
"First of all, what was with the acrobatics?" Xander questioned. "How did that happen?"
"Wasn't Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?" Oz wondered.
Xander nodded. "That's right, he was!" he said before calling after the retreating vampire, "Cheater!"
"That wasn't in the obituary," Willow admitted. "I should have checked the school records."
"Okay, and the second problem I'm having..." Xander said as he looked toward Willow. "Come and get it big boy?"
"Well," Willow said defensively, "well, the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words and I think it throws vampires off and makes them frightened that I'm wisecracking and okay, I didn't really have time to work on that one but you try it every time!
"If I can suggest…'This time it's personal…?' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic," Oz suggested.
"I was always amazed by the way Buffy fought, but…in a way I think we all took her punning for granted," Xander admitted.
"Xander. Past Tense Rule," Willow reminded him.
"Sorry," Xander apologized. "I just meant we in the past took it for granted and won't when she…when she comes back."
"Do you think she knows school's starting tomorrow?" Willow wondered.
"Tomorrow. Right. The big day," Oz said with a sigh.
"I'm going to be busy a lot, but only till three and that's when you usually get up, so it's not bad," Willow said trying to comfort Oz.
"Yeah…" Oz said obviously trying to hide something.
"I can't wait to see Cordelia," Xander admitted. "I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia."
"I wonder what our first homework assignment will be!" Willow said excitedly as Xander gave her a look. "Hey, you're excited about Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues."
"I guess we should pack it in," Oz suggested.
"Yeah…" Xander agreed as they headed for Oz's van.
"Wouldn't it be great if Buffy just showed up tomorrow?" Willow asked. "Like nothing happened?"
"She can't just show up. She was kicked out," Xander reminded his friend.
"Well, yeah, but…I just wish…I wish we knew where she was," Willow admitted softly.
Buffy's Dreamscape
The waves crashed gloriously onto the bright and silent beach. She walked slowly, in a light sundress, her bare feet digging into the sand. It was a warm and calming tabeau and she was soaking it up. She stopped as she looked off in the distance.
She shut her eyes, letting the sun warm her face. It was at that moment a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her from behind. Instinctively she knew it was, her beloved Angel. He buried his face in her neck as she reached up to to caress his face. "How did you find me here?" she asked.
"If I was blind, I would see you," Angel said intimately.
"Stay with me," Buffy pleaded.
Angel smiled. "Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave," he said as he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Not even if you kill me."
Buffy's Apartment, Los Angeles
Buffy woke up with a start. She looked around. She was lying in her bed in her tiny apartment in a run-down neighborhood on the south side of downtown Los Angeles, near 11th Street.
Slowly, she got up and went over to the window overlooking the street below. She didn't particularly care if anyone saw her naked. She looked past the sidewalk and into the street. A police siren got louder as it neared, and, an instant later, an LAPD squad car raced across the intersection at the end of the block against the red light.
September 1, 1998 – Tuesday
Helen's Kitchen
The cook put two burgers with fries up on the pick-up counter. A waitress picked up the two burgers. She had cut long blonde hair tied in a ponytail. She was sad and bored. She took the two plates, walked them over to a nearby table, and set them down in front of two roughneck types. The waitress took out her pad. "Anything else?" she asked.
"That'll do us," one of them said.
The waitress ripped off the bill and put it on the table without making eye contact. "Pay at the counter," she told them as she walked away. She walked up to another table, where a young couple was sitting. They were too into each other to notice her. "Are you guys ready?" she asked.
The guy was still looking at his girl. "Yeah. I think we're good. Um…" He looked at the waitress's name tag. "Buffy."
Buffy glanced at them briefly, then looked down at her pad to take their order. "What'll you have?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change. "Well, okay..." He paused. "What can we get with this?" He dumped the change onto the table. It was mostly pennies plus a few nickels and dimes.
"Well…" Buffy started.
The blonde girl looked at her boyfriend. "Can we get cake?" she asked drawing Buffy's attention.
Buffy realized she recognized the girl, whose name she was sure was or had been Chanterelle and had been involved with Ford's vampire loving cult.
"Don't be stupid," he told 'Chanterelle.' "We got to eat healthy. We can't have cake." He looked back at Buffy. "Can we get pie?"
"That's better. That's got fruit," 'Chanterelle' agreed.
"We've got a peach pie." Buffy informed them as she wrote the order. "I can't guarantee there's a peach in it."
'Chanterelle' looked at her boyfriend. "We shouldn't have blown all our money."
"Come on, it was worth it."
'Chanterelle' smiled. He looked up at Buffy as the two of them held out their forearms. "Hey, check this out," he said.
Buffy looked at their arms as they held them out together and saw they each had a tattoo of half of a heart with a ribbon across it. On their respective halves of the ribbon, they had the other's name tattooed. He had 'Lily', and she had 'Rickie.'
"It's nice. It's nice and, uh, permanent." Buffy smiled weakly, thinking it was a bad idea.
Rickie looked at Lily. "Yeah, forever." He put his arm around Lily. "I mean…that's the whole point."
Lily looked at him and smiled. She then looked up at Buffy and thought she recognized her. "Hey, do I know you?"
"I don't think so," Buffy lied.
Lily looked harder. "Really? Where're you from?"
Buffy avoided the issue. "I'll get your pie," she informed them as she walked off.
Lily watched Buffy till Rickie distracted her, and they were in their own little world again.
When Buffy reached the swinging door to the kitchen, she stopped by another waitress. "Can you cover my station for a while? I'm not feeling great."
The waitress nodded as Buffy looked briefly at Rickie and Lily and then headed out the back door.
September 2, 1998 – Wednesday
Buffy's Apartment
Buffy stood in front of the bathroom sink on which sat three pill bottles. She picked up the first which was listed as Estradiol. Not long after she arrived in Los Angeles, she had sought someone who could help her get the medications she would need to take to start her transition. She would have preferred to go to a doctor but due to being a runaway with no insurance she had no other choice get her hormones.
Streets of Los Angeles
Buffy walked along in her waitress uniform, a coat over it, heading to work. She was glad that she had found a job that was trans friendly. The manager Mitch she had found out had a daughter who was trans and so he was always willing to help someone out in the LGBT community.
Buffy passed an old woman who was huddled in the corner, swaying and mumbling, "I'm no one…I'm no one…"
Sunnydale High School
"Yes, thank you," Giles said as he hung up the phone before walking out of his office. "I have a lead."
Willow and Xander looked up from doing their homework at the table.
"A friend in Oakland has a sketchy report of a…girl fending off a group of vampires…about a week ago." Giles grabbed his overcoat and bag before looking at his watch. "There's a plane out in about an hour."
Xander and Willow exchanged a look. "And what makes this different from the last nine leads?" Xander asked.
"Well, I believe there is a meal on this flight," Giles answered. Willow and Xander could hear a bit of defeat in his voice, like he was beginning to believe he wouldn't find Buffy.
Xander rolled his eyes. "I don't mean to poop the party, it's just, you get hopes all up and then it's a big fat raspberry and I feel bad."
Willow gave Giles a hopeful smile. "But it's good that you're looking, though. You shouldn't give up."
"Oh, yeah. Definitely," Xander agreed.
Giles nodded as he looked at the teenagers. "Yes, one must try," he agreed. "In the meantime, you might want to take a slight vacation from your slaying."
"Hey, we're doing okay," Willow countered, then she added bitterly, "Except that last guy totally threw off our stats…"
"I just don't want you getting into trouble while I'm away," Giles informed them. "I should go." He then rushed out of the library.
"You don't think maybe he'll find her?" Willow asked when the doors had closed behind Giles.
"I think he'll find her when she wants to be found," Xander admittedly sadly.
Streets of Los Angeles
Buffy was heading home, coat over her waitress uniform, when she heard someone behind her call out… "Buffy?"
Buffy continued on not truly paying attention.
"Rutherford?"
Buffy stopped inwardly cringing at the use of her deadname. She turned to face the source of the voice, whom she instantly recognized as Lily. "I hate that name," she snapped.
"Sorry," Lily apologized. "I take it that your…"
"Trans, yes," Buffy answered. "Buffy is my preferred name. I'm just not used to anyone but my friends in Sunnydale and my coworkers at the diner calling me by that name. So, what do you want, Lily?"
"So, you do recognize me," Lily said as Buffy nodded. "First, I just want to thank you for saving us."
"That's okay," Buffy answered. "Did you tell anyone who I was?"
"You mean…what is the term…deadname?" Lily questioned as Buffy nodded. "No. Not even Ricky. I was so surprised to see you here…waiting tables, dressed in a waitress uniform…but I wouldn't tell. I know how it is when you got to get lost. And you probably wanted to get doubly lost, go somewhere where you can be your real self."
Buffy smiled glad that Lily got some of her reasons for running. Of course, that wasn't her only reason but one of many. "So, you live nearby?" she asked as they fell into step together.
"There's a couple of places, they're abandoned and a lot of people stay there," Lily explained. "Ricky knows all those places; he can always find somewhere to crash. He's pretty smart. So is Buffy…?"
"My preferred name," Buffy answered. "Buffy Anne."
"It's pretty," Lily informed her. "Lily's from a song. Ricky picked it," she explained. "I'm always changing anyway. Chantarelle was part of my exotic phase."
Buffy smiled. "It's nice. It's a mushroom."
"It is?" Lily asked in surprise. "That's really embarrassing."
"It's an exotic mushroom, if that's any comfort," Buffy informed her.
"Well, before that I was following this loser Preacher and calling myself Sister Sunshine," Lily inform her. "There's nothing worse than that."
"Nothing springs to mind, it's true…" Buffy agreed. "What about at home, what'd they call you?" She was met with silence and she realized that Lily had some troubled history with her parents. "Well, I like Lily."
Lily smiled. "It's cool for now. Hey, do you have any money?"
Buffy stopped, not really sure how to answer. Her metabolism as the Slayer made her food bill high to begin. Then there was her hormones and testosterone blocker. Between the two and the rent for her apartment she didn't usually have much left over.
"I don't mean that like…" Lily said noticing Buffy's hesitation. "Well, I just mean, I know a guy, he's having like a rave kind of thing, in this basement, it's three dollars to get in and you have to know someone. We could go, I could show you if you had…because I'm broke."
"I don't think so," Buffy told her. "I kind of want to be alone."
"Well, I didn't mean to bug you…" Lily said obviously hurt.
"No, I just mean a lot of people would be too much," Buffy countered apologetically. She dug into her purse and pulled out her wallet. "Here," she said pulling out a ten dollar bill, "why don't you go with Rickie, and I'll see you some time–"
"No, that's okay, forget about it," Lily told her, refusing to take the money.
"No, really, I—" Buffy started just as an old man ploughed through them. "Whoa!"
"That's not very polite," Lily added as the old man looked at them, horror in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" Buffy asked him.
He stared for a moment at them before finally emitting a cracked whisper, "I'm no one…"
"What?" Buffy asked in confusion.
The old man looked at them a moment more, then he turned back around and walked into the traffic in the intersection at the corner of 11th Street and Broadway.
Buffy's eyes widened with concern. The man stopped in the middle of a lane in front of an oncoming pickup truck and faced it, arms stretched wide. She rushed into the street. The pickup driver honked his horn and slammed on the brakes and the truck started to skid. Buffy pushed the man out of the way in time to save him—but not in time to avoid getting hit herself.
She got hit hard in the legs by the bumper. Her body snapped down hard onto the hood of the truck, and she slid into the windshield. She bounced back and slid off the hood as the truck screeched to a halt. She hit the pavement, flipped over backward, and rolled to a stop in the middle of the street.
Lily rushed over to Buffy, who was just getting up. "Are you okay?" she questioned.
The driver quickly got out of the pickup cab and ran over to them. "Jeez, I didn't see you!" he said apologetically.
Buffy slowly pushed herself up on her hands and knees, trying to get up as people from all around came rushing into the street. "Maybe you shouldn't move…" Lily informed Buffy as she got to her feet.
"Yeah, you should lie down," the driver agreed.
Buffy looked around at all of the people gathering. "No, I'm fine."
"Somebody call an ambulance!" the driver instructed.
Buffy held up her hands to fend off everyone's help. "It's okay…" she informed them, her unease rising. "I have to go…" She ran off down the street, not the least bit hurt.
"You sure you don't want to sue?" the driver called after Buffy.
Buffy ran around the corner and ran into a man handing out the flyers that she had passed on her way to work. "Whoa!" he said as she knocked the flyers out of his hands. "Where are you running to?"
"I'm sorry…" Buffy apologized as she crouched down to pick up his flyers.
"Maybe I should ask," he said. "Where are you running from?"
Buffy hesitated, then continued picking up the flyers.
"You're pretty new around here," he said as he crouched down to help her. "You've got the look, though."
"The look," Buffy said looking up at him.
"Like you had to grow up way too fast," he told her. "What's your name?"
Buffy handed him the flyers. "Buffy," she answered.
"I'm Ken. Go ahead and keep one of these," Ken said as he handed her a flyer. "Don't be shy about stopping by. I guess you're not starving, but we're not just interested in feeding the body. You might find something you're missing."
"I'm all right," Buffy informed him.
"Then why are you here?" Ken wondered. He only got silence for an answer. "This isn't a good place for a kid to be. You get old fast here." Buffy looked at him knowingly. "The thing that does it, that drains the life out of them: despair. Kids come here, they got nothing to go home to and this is the last stop for a lot of them. Shouldn't have to be that way."
Buffy looked down the street. She saw a woman alone in the street, a boy and girl huddling together on the curb, a young boy begging from a businessman that rejected him as he walked by, and a woman with a dirty face. Buffy felt sad.
Buffy's Apartment
Buffy was back in her apartment. She showered and then opened a can of Spaghetti O's for dinner. She got a spoon from a drawer. She went and sat calmly on the edge of her bed, naked, holding the can in her lap. She just stared blankly into the room, breathing calmly.
Once her nerves were calmed, she ate her meal, set the can on her night stand, lay down, and waited for sleep to come.
September 3, 1998 – Thursday
Helen's Kitchen
Buffy was in the middle of her shift as Lily approached her, obviously distraught. "Buffy? Can I talk to you?"
Buffy led Lily over to one side of the diner away from any curious eavesdroppers. "We got kind of a rush here, is there another time—"
"Rickie's gone. I mean, I haven't seen him for more than a day, he's never left for that long, I think something's happened," Lily informed her, concern lacing her voice. "Maybe something's happened."
"Well, did you talk to the police?" Buffy questioned.
Lily shook her head. "Rickie's skipped on his parole, they'd just…"
"Well, you could…" Buffy said. "I don't know, ask around and—"
"Can you help me?" Lily pleaded.
Buffy looked at the distraught young woman for a moment before finally shaking her head. "I can't."
"But that's who you are and stuff, right?" Lily reminded the Slayer. "I mean, you help people…and, you know…"
Buffy sighed. "I can't get into this now, I'm sorry…"
"You know how to do stuff..." Lily continued refusing to take no for an answer.
"I can't; not anymore…" Buffy said, anger beginning to lace her voice.
"But…" Lily said, her eyes glistening with newly forming tears. "I don't know what to do…"
Buffy looked at the young woman for a long moment debating with herself. "I'm off at four," she finally informed Lily, though she rather hoped that Lily had forgotten by the time she got off work.
Summers Home
Dawn sat at the dining room table opposite her mom, who was busy with the bills while she was doing her homework. It was at that moment that the doorbell rang causing their heads to snap up.
Joyce moved quickly and hopefully to the door. She opened it to reveal Giles standing there. "Mr. Giles," she greeted as she let her disappointment at not finding her son at the door. "Hello."
"Hello. May I –" Giles started.
"Of course." Joyce stepped aside and waved her hand, silently inviting him in. Since Dawn had told her about the night life of Sunnydale, she had agreed with her daughter that it was a good idea not to verbally invite people in.
Giles walked over the threshold as Joyce closed the door. She led him into the living room where they sat down on the couch. "I've just come from Oakland. A friend of mine called with a lead. Stories about someone fighting vampires," he informed her. "It didn't pan out, I'm afraid."
"No Rutherford," Joyce asked as she spotted Dawn standing in the archway to the dining room. She saw the anger on her daughter's face. She understood it of course. Dawn had told her that they had been close. So, her son leaving like he had, had hurt her daughter.
"No vampires," Giles corrected. "Bunch of school kids in heavy mascara listening to extremely silly music."
"Well, thank you for going," Joyce said. "I can't even…I can hardly leave the house. I'm so afraid that he'll call, that he'll…need help…"
"Rutherford is the most capable child I have ever known," Giles informed the mother of two. "He may be confused, unhappy, but I honestly believe he's in no danger."
"I just wish I could talk to him," Joyce admitted sadly.
"Joyce, you mustn't blame yourself for Rutherford's leaving," Giles informed her, thinking she blamed herself for not believing Buffy was innocent of Kendra's death.
"I don't…" Joyce countered looking him in the eye. "I blame you. You've been this huge influence in both of my children's lives. Guiding Rutherford. Training Dawn in self-defense. You've had this whole relationship behind my back that I…I feel like you've taken Rutherford away from me. And if I hadn't found out when I did, I'm feel you would have done the same to Dawn."
"I…I didn't make either Rutherford or Dawn who they are," Giles informed her.
"And who exactly are they?" Joyce countered.
"Yeah, who am I?" Dawn bit out angrily. "You chased my brother away from me." She turned and ran up the stairs. A moment later they heard her bedroom door slam hard.
Joyce sighed as she glanced toward the stairs. "Ever since Rutherford left. Dawn has been angry. While I am a tad bit angry with you. She's not. She's angry with…"
"Her brother," Giles said in understanding. "He always talked highly of Dawn. Even before we learned of her potential to be called as a Slayer. I know from your son, that he was very close to her. I can't imagine the pain she is going through as a result of his leaving."
Los Angeles Bloodbank
Buffy and Lily walked into a large, dingy room. Buffy had been in here about once a month since she started on her hormones. One of the nurses who took blood knew someone who could get Buffy her medications. Just ahead she saw the woman in question sitting behind a counter.
"We gave blood a lot of times because you get a few bucks and they have cookies," Lily informed Buffy.
"You're a fan of the sugar rush, aren't you," Buffy joked.
Lily smiled. "It's nice."
The woman behind the counter came around and approached them. "Hi, Buffy. I didn't expect to see you back for another couple weeks," she said in surprise.
Lily looked at Buffy in surprise.
"I get my meds through Joan," Buffy informed Lily before turning to Joan. "I'm not here for a refill, Joan. We're looking for a friend."
"Rickie T?" Lily added. "We come in sometimes…"
Joan nodded as she looked at Lily. Now that she got a good look, she recognized Buffy's friend. "Rickie, sure. He's not here…"
"Has he been in, Joan?" Buffy questioned. "Say in the last day or so?"
"Let me check the sheet," Joan said as she returned to the counter.
"This'll probably go faster if we split up," Buffy suggested to Lily.
"Can I come with you?" Lily pleaded.
"Okay, when did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?" Buffy questioned with a look.
"Sorry," Lily apologized.
"We can both check out some of your hangouts and meet later," Buffy informed her. "At my place."
"Okay," Lily agreed.
"Sorry, Buffy," Joan said as she returned. "He hasn't been here."
"Thanks, Joan," Buffy said.
"I'll tell him you were looking…" Joan said as Buffy and Lily turned and headed for the door.
Buffy handed a key to the other girl. "This is for the downstairs…" she said as Joan watched them, the smile draining from her face.
Condemned Building
Buffy entered the building slowly, looking around at the grimy, torn up place. A homeless man stirred from his sleep as he heard her but soon went back to sleep. She made her way from one room to the next. As she stepped over a few sleeping individuals, she made sure none of them were Rickie. Some of them watched her as she went by.
She walked slowly along a dark hall and turned a corner. She was startled by a man with his arms full walking the other way behind her. She made her way through a hole in the wall. She noticed the old man who she had saved from being hit by the pickup truck. He lay there in the corner, obviously dead, an open bottle of drain cleaner beside him.
"Oh god…" Buffy said at the sight of him. She knelt next to him and felt for a pulse. Nothing. She put his arm down and saw there was a tattoo of half of a heart on his forearm with a banner across the heart and the name 'Lily' tattooed on it. She looked at the old man, confused. "Rickie?"
Buffy's Apartment
Lily sat on Buffy's bed as Buffy walked through the door. "Did you find Rickie?" she questioned as Buffy took off her coat. "I thought of, he likes to go to this movie house, you can get in the back—"
"Lily, I think…that he's dead," Buffy said regretfully.
Lily took that in, her eyes quickly brimming with tears. "But…he takes care of me…" she sobbed.
"I'm sorry…" Buffy apologized. This was one thing she had always hated about being the Slayer, the people she couldn't save.
"We're going to get a place; his cousin could get him a job at the car wash…" Lily informed her.
"Lily." Buffy sighed. "Something's happening," She sat on the bed. "The person I found was old, he looked about eighty—"
"Well, that's not Rickie—" Lily countered.
"I saw the tattoo, Lily," Buffy informed her sadly. "Something drained the life out of him. Made him old. I don't know how, but…there could be something out there."
"Do you mean, like a vampire?" Lily asked obviously fearful.
Buffy thought it through and then shook her head. "They wouldn't accelerate the aging process, but maybe…maybe something in his blood…When was the last time you guys gave blood together?"
Lily looked at Buffy confused. "I don't understand…maybe it's not Rickie, okay?"
Buffy sighed as she stood up. "Lily. You have to deal with this."
"But he didn't do anything wrong," Lily said, clearly flustered, "why would—"
"That's not the point," Buffy told her and Lily calmed a little bit. "These things happen, you can't close your eyes and hope they'll go away."
"Is it because of you?" Lily asked. "You know about…monsters and stuff, you could have brought this with you…"
"I didn't bring anything with me!" Buffy snapped. "And I didn't ask for you to come to me with your problems. I just wanted to be left alone. If you can't deal with what's happening, don't lay it off on me –" Lily stood up, unable to deal, she headed for the door. "Lily –"
She made no move to stop the young woman, instead she just stood in the middle of the room, fuming. After a moment her anger deflated and as she looked at the door, she debated what she should do.
Streets of Los Angeles
Lily rushed down the street, not watching where she was going. She bumped into Ken. "Are you okay?" he asked as Lily shook her head. "Hey, it's okay. Maybe I can help."
"You can't," Lily said afraid of what Buffy had told her. She was afraid that Buffy had been right, that Rickie was dead.
"I know you all think I'm a big square, handing out leaflets about hope," Ken told her. "But hope is a real thing, just like despair. Hope can fill up the part of you that's missing."
"But . . . Rickie . . ." Lily sobbed.
"Rickie? Say, are you Lily?" Ken questioned. "Right, he was talking about you."
"You've seen Rickie?" Lily asked looking at Ken with hope.
Ken smiled. "Well, sure. Rickie's with us now."
"She…it…whatever said he was dead . . ." Lily said glancing back the way she had come.
"Well, someone sure handed you a tall tale," Ken informed her. "Rickie's no more dead than I am. Why don't you come to Family Home? And we'll get you taken care of."
"Okay," Lily agreed as he led her away.
Los Angeles Bloodbank
Buffy forced the front door open. She hurried over behind the counter and began looking for anything that would lead her to what happened to Rickie. She found Rickie's file which held a great deal of information, including a comment that simply said: Candidate.
"Candidate for what," Buffy asked herself.
Suddenly the lights flared on as Joan entered the office. She eyed Buffy warily. "Buffy, what are you doing?" she questioned. "I thought you said you weren't here for more meds."
Buffy didn't look up from the file. "I'm not here for more meds, I'm here to look through your private files," she answered. "Candidate for what?"
"Buffy, if you don't leave, I'm going to have to call the police," Joan said as she moved toward the phone.
"As much as I don't want to threaten my source for my hormones," Buffy said as she grabbed the phone and yanked it from the wall. She looked at several other files. "You've got a whole bunch of candidates here." She looked up at Joan. "I wonder if any of these kids are missing like Rickie. Gosh I'll bet they are."
"Buffy, I don't want to have to cut you off," Joan threatened.
Buffy put the files down as she turned to face Joan. "And I don't want them cut off," she informed her. "I just wanted to be alone and quiet, finally able to be the girl I am, with a chair, and a fireplace, and a tea cozy. I'm not even sure what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I get trouble. Which I am willing to share. What are you doing to these kids?"
"Nothing!" Joan insisted. "I just…give him names. He likes to know who…I give him the names of the healthy ones."
Buffy watched her steely-eyed. "Give them to who?" she hissed. "Or, wait—give them to whom? Or maybe it's who…And did you give him mine?"
"I never gave him yours," Joan informed her. "I don't want to jeopardize one of my best customers."
"So, I again ask, who are you giving them too?" Buffy asked again.
Family Home
Lily walked into the bare living room wearing a plain shift of a dress and looking a little uncomfortable. "Well, don't you look nice," Ken told her.
"I guess . . ." Lily started.
"Well you don't want to wear your own outfit for the cleansing," Ken told her. "It'll get soaked." He led her toward a door in the back.
"A cleansing is like a baptism, right?" she questioned.
Ken shook his head. "Not quite the same."
"And will I see Rickie after?" Lily wondered.
Ken smiled. "Of course," he informed her. "He's waiting for you. He's very excited." He led her into a small room with a couple of steps leading down to a stone floor. In the center of the floor was a really tiny four by eight fee lap pool filled with black, murky liquid. He led her to the edge of the pool. "We come to this station to wash away the past. Go ahead and kneel. We let the water run over the sin, and the pain, and the uncertainty."
"It looks kind of dirty . . ." Lily admitted.
Ken just smiled as he knelt to her side, waiting.
Lily reached for the water, to splash it on her face.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"You know, I just looked in the mirror and thought, hey!" Buffy said talking to a huge, brutish looking man. "What's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm dirty, I'm bad…with the sex, and the…envy, and that loud music we kids' listen to nowadays…" She was sure they weren't buying it. "I suck at undercover," she muttered to herself. "Where's Ken?" she questioned the brutish man, who went to shut the door in her face. She shoved it wide open, sending him tumbling.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Lily reached down to the black water in the pool. For a moment, she hesitated, but then she put her hand in. The liquid was thick and pitch-black, and her hand disappeared in it.
Buffy swung open the door, banging it loudly into the wall.
Ken moved to stand between Lily and Buffy. "This is a private moment, if you could just—"
"How do you make 'em old, Ken?" Buffy questioned. "You feed on youth, what's the deal?"
Ken dropped his façade. "Do you really want to know?" he questioned.
"What's going on?" Lily wondered looking between Ken and Buffy.
"Lily?" Buffy said surprised to see Lily here.
Suddenly, something grabbed Lily. She screamed as she was pulled into the pool and disappeared into the black slime.
Buffy ran to help, but Ken grabbed her and choked her with his arm around her neck. She grabbed his arm and tried to snap her body back to make him release her, but instead they just both fell into the pool as well.
Demonic Dimension 136
Buffy and Ken fell out of a black pool in the ceiling and into a dimly-lit stone passageway, hitting the ground hard. She briefly looked up at the pool, then looked around to see where she was. She saw Lily leaning against the wall, holding her head and groaning.
"Lily..." Buffy rolled over onto her hands and knees and quickly crawled over to Lily. She looked up at the pool in the ceiling. The waves from her fall through it were beginning to dissipate.
"My face…Ow, my face…" Ken cried as he clutched his head and began to pull his face and hair off. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to glue that thing on?" he asked as he spun to face Buffy, his human face hanging limply from his hands. His real face was red, and his head was bald. There appeared to be pieces of skin missing from his forehead, revealing the even redder flesh beneath. "Guards!" he called as Lily began to panic.
Buffy started to get to her feet and tried to pull Lily up with her as demons ran toward them from the shadows blocking their access to the portal. A cursory glance revealed their faces to be about as attractive as Ken's. Still not completely on top of what was going on, Buffy nonetheless took action. "Lily! Come on!" She took Lily's hand and began to run, pulling her along.
Buffy and Lily ran through a maze of halls. "We got to find another exit, there's got to be…" Buffy said as they came out on a ledge that overlooked what looked like a large iron works.
Buffy and Lily took in the scene. There were huge vats of molten metal, sparks were flying through the air from one side, and it was hot and smoky. Buffy looked closer and, in the shadows, saw people being used as slave labor, kept in line by more guards with whips. Zombie-like humans pounded the metal on anvils, pushed wheelbarrows from place to place, and swung sledgehammers. Some of them coughed hard as they worked. The guards watched and cracked their whips every so often. They were all wearing the exact same clothes as Lily, regardless of gender. Hanging from huge concrete pillars, were people that had been hung up to die for crimes of one kind or another.
Ken stepped up behind them. "Welcome to my world. I hope you like it," he said as Buffy and Lily looked back at him. He hit Buffy hard in the face with a club, knocking her out. He turned to Lily with a smile and licked his lips. "You're never leaving."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Buffy regained consciousness, rolled onto her side, and felt her head where Ken hit her. No blood, but she was still a bit dazed. She was lying on the floor in a cell. She looked around and spotted Lily sitting on the floor, behind her, leaning against a pillar, terror on her face. She saw that there was an older man, at least sixty something years old as well as a decaying corpse.
"Lily…?" Buffy said as she slowly sat up.
"I always knew I would come here…" Lily muttered. "Sooner or later…I knew I belonged here…"
Buffy looked around again. "Where?" she wondered.
Lily looked up at Buffy. "Hell."
Buffy turned her head back to Lily. "This…isn't Hell…" she informed her.
"Isn't it?" Ken asked as he paced outside the cell, grinning at the girls.
Buffy spun her head around to look at Ken but quickly regretted moving it so fast. She was in pain. "Unh…" She rubbed her forehead.
"What is Hell, but the total absence of Hope?" Ken continued. "The substance, the tactile proof of despair? You're right, Lily. This is where you've been heading all your life. You come from nothing, to become nothing."
"Don't listen to him…" Buffy countered, too weak and bewildered to present much of an argument.
"Just like Rickie," Ken finished.
"Rickie…" Lily said softly.
"He forgot you," Ken informed her. "It took a long time he remembered your name years after he'd forgotten his own. But in the end…"
"Years?" Lily said, obviously confused. "But…"
"Time here moves more quickly than in your dimension," Ken informed them. "A hundred long years will pass here - on Earth, just a day."
Buffy nodded in realization. "So, you work us till we're too old, then spit us back out."
"Very good," Ken grinned. "You see, Lily, you'll die of old age before anyone wonders where you went. Not that anyone will. That's why we chose you."
Buffy stared at him. "You didn't choose me."
"No, but I know you, Buffy," Ken countered with a smirk. "So afraid, so pathetically determined to run away from whatever you used to be. To disappear. Congratulations. You got your wish."
Buffy glared at him, hating him, hating the truth of his words.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
The huge steel door of a personnel elevator split open, the upper half rising, the lower half sinking. A group of young slaves, including Buffy and Lily, was herded out. Buffy tripped and fell to the floor. The other slaves stopped walking. A guard started to explain things to the new recruits as Buffy slowly got back to her feet, holding her head in pain.
"You work, and you live," the guard said. He had even less skin on his head than Ken, just a few patches around his eyes and across the top of his head sewn together. His chin and cheeks were exposed flesh and muscle, and he had no lips covering his teeth. "That is all. You do not complain, or laugh, or do anything besides work. Whatever you thought, whatever you were, does not matter. You are no one now, you mean nothing."
The guard walked to one end of the group and faced the boy standing there. Behind them, the elevator doors closed with a slam. "Who are you?"
"Aaron…" the boy answered, clearly terrified.
The guard whaled hard on him with his club, and the boy grunted in pain and fell to the floor, unconscious. Buffy immediately sobered and stared intensely ahead. He moved to Lily, who was the second person in line. "Who are you?"
"No one," Lily answered.
The demon smiled as he moved to the next prisoner in line. "Who are you?"
"No one," the third prisoner answered.
And on it went till the demon finally reached Buffy. "Who are you?"
Buffy smiled. "I'm Buffy Anne Summers," she said giving her preferred name. I'm the Slayer. And you are…?"
The guard was incensed at her insubordination and roared as he drew back his club to strike her. He swung at Buffy, but she sidestepped him and grabbed his arm as he bent over from his follow-through. Buffy slammed her other forearm down on the guard's, breaking it. He fell to the floor in pain. She picked up his club and swung it at another guard, striking him in the head. She swung again the opposite way at a third guard, hitting him in the gut. They both fell, unconscious. It was all over in a matter of seconds.
Everyone looked at Buffy, stunned. She turned to them, giving them a smile. "Anyone who's not having fun, follow me," she said. She started to run, and the group followed her.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
The vats of molten metal glowed brightly. There were sparks flying everywhere. On the ledge that led to the portal, two guards were watching the slaves work. Another guard was walking down a metal staircase. Buffy and the small group hid beneath it.
"There's no way we can get there without meeting new people," Buffy said looking up at the ledge. "Okay, Lily," she said as she turned toward the young woman, who stood with her and the prisoners in the shadows out of sight. "When those guards leave, and they will, you take everyone and get up there. Fast and quiet. Anybody else wants to come along, fine, but you don't stop for anything. Clear?"
"You're leaving me? But…" Lily started.
Buffy smiled. "Lily, you can handle this. Because I say so," she said softly and comfortingly just as sirens began to wail loudly. "Ooh, we've gone public. Go, get them out," she ordered.
Lily began to lead the others away before turning back to Buffy. "I'm sorry I said this was your fault before."
"This can wait," Buffy told her.
"Well – in case we die –" Lily started.
"Go!" Buffy ordered with a tone of authority.
Lily nodded and headed off with the group.
Buffy saw two guards coming for them and led them away at a run. She wound around through the slaves still blindly working away. "Not yet. Not yet," she said. The guards were big and bulky compared to her darting through the maze, but they managed to keep up. She spotted a pole jutting out of the floor. "Here's good," she informed herself as she grabbed onto the pole, swung around once, and knocked one of the guards out with an aerial side kick.
She let go of the pole and began to run again. She reached a platform, shoulder-rolled onto it, and rose to a standing position. Her pursuer jumped up onto the stage and tried a backhand swing at her with his sledgehammer, but she ducked and blocked his second swing. The guard kicked up with his knee and got Buffy in the stomach, stunning her.
He punched her, making her fall to the floor. He took a swing at Buffy's head, but she clamped her hands around the hammer's handle and yanked him up and over her. He slammed down hard onto his shoulder and rolled off the platform. Buffy still had his hammer and quickly got to her feet. The two other guards on the ledge left their post and began to approach her.
Lily led the group to a set of stairs. She ushered them up. "C'mon, c'mon, everybody go! Go!"
One after the other, they quickly climbed the stairs. Lily brought up the rear.
On the platform, Buffy continued to fight another guard. She quickly hit him in the head with a full spinning out-to-in crescent kick. He took the blow hard and fell off the platform. Still another guard took a swing at Buffy's legs with his sledgehammer, but she jumped high to avoid the swing. Buffy swung her hammer into the guard's face, knocking him down.
As he tried to get up, Buffy knocked him down again with a snapping roundhouse kick to his arm, kicking his hammer away in the process. The guard got to his feet. Buffy swung her hammer in an uppercut, striking him in the jaw and sending him flying off the platform in a backflip. Yet another guard jumped up onto the platform and tackled Buffy, struggling to get the hammer out of her hands.
Buffy did a roundhouse kick to the guard's face, and he stumbled backwards. Another guard came up to the edge of the platform, holding a battle-ax with a curved blade. He looked at the fighting for a moment, then moved to jump up onto the platform.
The guard on the platform tried to pound Buffy's head with his club, but she held her hammer high, blocking his attack and making him drop his weapon.
Buffy swung down with her hands, carrying the guard's hands as well. She grabbed him by the neck, spun around once, and threw him through the air. He hit a steel beam and slumped to the ground. The guard with the battle-ax was up on the platform now and took a wide swing with it at Buffy, but she leaned aside, and he missed.
She managed to duck the guard's next swing, avoiding decapitation. He swung again from above, but she blocked his attack with her hammer, and the head of the ax embedded itself in the handle. Buffy performed a front snap kick that dislodged the ax and knocked the weapon out of the guard's hands and spinning up into the air. She kneeled down and knocked his legs out from under him with her hammer.
While she was crouched, she looked up at the battle-ax as it fell and caught the airborne weapon. She got to her feet, as did her assailant. Buffy did another roundhouse kick to his face, and he went flying off the platform. She looked around, temporarily without an opponent. Suddenly, a guard jumped up. She swung a backhand punch at his head, but he blocked it and shoved her arm out of the way. He punched her with a backhand fist. She stumbled a little but recovered in time to duck his second swing at her head.
She did a side kick to his rear that sent him off the platform. Two more guards tried to climb onto the platform. Buffy crouched and quickly threw her battle-ax spinning end over end at one of them. It sliced deeply into his chest, and the power behind her throw sent him falling off the platform. The other guard tried a wide swing, but Buffy blocked it, grabbed onto his arm, and sent him somersaulting through the air and off the platform.
Another guard attacked. Buffy smashed her elbow into his nose and followed it up with a full spin and a backhand punch to the head. He fell down awkwardly. Another one leaped up and caught her unaware with a high punch to her face. She stumbled backwards but didn't fall. Two more guards joined him and tried to surround her. Buffy snap-kicked one in the face and side-kicked another.
Buffy did a full spinning hook kick to the third, smacking him soundly in the skull. One of the guards punched Buffy hard in the face, and she staggered. He grabbed her by the neck while she was trying to regain her balance and yanked her head up fast and hard. He held her while two other guards punched her in the stomach.
"Humans don't fight back," Ken said as he and a demon watched. "Humans don't fight back! That's how this works!" Buffy was proving him wrong. He looked to the guard. "Get down there!"
The guard dispatched himself toward Buffy as Ken watched. Then he began to realize that the Slayer was just a distraction and he took off toward the exit portal.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
The group of slaves ran down a dimly-lit corridor, trailed by Lily. They rounded a corner. As Lily was about to follow them, Ken grabbed her from behind, pulled out a large knife, and held it to her neck. She didn't struggle as he led her off, back to the ledge.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
On the platform, the guards kept on punching Buffy. Finally, she was able to retaliate and swung an arm out, backhand-punching two of them and high-punching the third, knocking him down. She swung her arm out in a wide arc and hit the first two with the one blow, knocking them down as well. A fourth guard roundhouse-kicked her in the stomach, and she stepped back to regain her balance.
He latched onto her arm and tried to throw her, but Buffy reversed the move and managed to throw him off the platform instead. A guard dove head-first for her legs. She leapt up and pulled her legs up into a tuck-jump over him. He dove right underneath her. She ran and jumped off the platform, grabbing a pole.
The pole bent under her weight, and she rode it down to the floor below. She began to run, and the chase was on again. She didn't get very far when she looked up and saw Ken coming back out onto the ledge, holding his knife to Lily's neck. She stopped in her tracks. The guards chasing her quickly caught up and grabbed her by the arms.
"One of you fights…and you all die!" Ken cried. He shoved Lily roughly aside, focusing on the Slayer. He pointed the knife at her. "That…was not permitted."
"Yeah, but it was fun," Buffy countered.
Ken smiled. "You've got guts. I think I'd like to split you open and play with them." He held up his knife. "Let everyone know." Lily cowered behind him. He seemed to have forgotten she was there." This is the price of rebell—"
Lily meekly shoved him off the ledge and he fell screaming from the high ledge to the ground with a loud thud. Buffy gave Lily a surprised look and then quickly took advantage of the distraction and backhand-punched her captors, one in the face and the other in the groin. While the second one was dazed, she shoved her weight against him, and he fell backward onto a barrel.
The first one punched high, but she blocked, grabbed his arm, and flipped him over onto a pile of burlap sacks. Buffy jumped up onto the pile and stepped across her fallen attacker. He tried to grab her but missed. She jumped high into the air and grabbed hold of a heavy chain hanging from above. She climbed it hand-over-hand as quickly as she could to the ledge where Lily was still standing.
The two of them ran through the door and quickly found their way to the others, who were struggling with a heavy iron gate.
Lily looked at Buffy. "They'll be coming."
Buffy crouched down and took hold of the gate, bracing herself for a very heavy lift. She began to raise the gate, straining as she went. She grunted. "Okay…this…works…the abs…and…the glutes." She grunted again.
As soon as she got it high enough, Lily waved to the others to crawl underneath. They all scrambled to the other side. "I'm going to feel this for a week!" Buffy said as she held the gate up over her head and squeezed her head and shoulders between two of the bars to get to the other side.
Suddenly, Ken appeared behind her, bloodied from his fall, and tackled her to the floor. His club went flying. The gate fell down behind him. He suddenly arched up and screamed in pain. Buffy rolled to a stop out of his reach. She got to her hands and knees and looked over at him as he continued to scream in pain.
Two of the gate's bars had impaled themselves through his calves. The slaves helped each other up through the black slime of the pool in the ceiling. Buffy got to her feet and picked up Ken's club. She approached him, and he arched his back to look up at her.
"You've ruined..." Ken paused. "You-"
"Hey, Ken, want to see my impression of Gandhi?" Buffy brought the club down hard onto his head, crushing his skull.
Lily walked up behind her and looked at him squeamishly. "Gandhi?"
Buffy shrugged. "Well, you know, if he was really pissed off."
Family Home
The homeless people walked out of the pool room. Lily was kneeling by the pool, helping Buffy out. She yanked her legs from the slime and rolled onto the floor. They both got up and looked at the pool.
Lily pointed. "What do we do about-"
With a flash of light, the pool mysteriously tiled itself over to match the tiles along the edges. It now appeared to be a six-inch-deep, empty ceremonial pool. The two girls just stared at it in wonder.
September 4, 1998 – Friday
Buffy's Apartment
Buffy finished cleaning herself up in the kitchen. Lily was looking at the folding doors that separated the kitchen from the rest of the apartment.
"Let me give you the tour." Buffy walked into the main room and slowly turned to face Lily. "This concludes our tour."
Lily leaned against the wall. "It's really nice."
Buffy leaned against the dresser. "The bathroom works a good part of the time. Don't bother to flip the mattress 'cause it doesn't get any better."
"I never had a place, you know, that I wasn't sharing," Lily informed her as she looked around.
"Well the rent's paid up for the next three weeks." Buffy turned around and opened one of the dresser drawers. "I spoke to Mitch at the diner." She pulled out her uniform. "He said you can start on Thursday." She stepped over to the bed. "He's, uh..." She laid down the uniform. "He's really supportive…repulsive…but supportive. When I told him, I was trans he hired me on the spot. His daughter, Lynn, is trans. So, he won't give you a hard time. Um…I'll call and check up on you."
Lily sat down on the bed and put her hand on the uniform. "I'm not…great at taking care of myself."
"It gets easier. Takes practice," Buffy told Lily as Lily's eyes lit up.
"Hey." Lily said holding up Buffy's name tag. "Do you mind if…"
"You take my name," Buffy said as she smiled at Lily. "I think it would be kind of cool to know there was another Buffy out there."
Summers Home
Joyce was in the kitchen, putting away some freshly washed pots when the doorbell rang. She popped up, anxious, then caught herself. She walked toward the door, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Something made her pause, some instinct. She tossed the towel on the table before moving slowly to the foyer. To the door.
She put her hand to the knob and swung the door open to reveal Buffy. "Rutherford," she whispered.
As Joyce folded Buffy into her arms. Buffy was glad that her breasts had yet to develop far enough to be noticeable, which gave her time to reveal the truth to her mother.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Buffy knocked on Dawn's bedroom door. She heard music playing inside. Soon, the door opened. Dawn was standing there. Buffy clearly heard 'Cruel Summer' by Ace of Base blaring from Dawn's boombox.
"Go away, Rutherford," Dawn spat with venom. "Go, I do not want to see your freak face."
Buffy reeled back, clearly stung by Dawn's used of her deadname. Out everyone she had told she was trans she had never expected Dawn to be so mean. She turned and walked down the hall as tears began to fall from her eyes.
Author's Note: First, the medication I have listed as Buffy taking is what is used today. I know that a different medication was used in the 90s but sadly I do not know what it was. So, I just used the medication I myself take.
Second, its largely suggested that Buffy is getting her meds from sources other than a doctor. I just want to mention if you are transgender you should never self-medicate and always seek a doctor who can prescribe the correct dosages.
Lastly, this is for anyone who is curious. A transgender woman on HRT will begin to develop breasts within 3- to 6-months of starting HRT. Since it's been at least 3 months since Buffy left Sunnydale, she would have already started to develop in that area, especially if she got her meds as soon as possible after arriving in Los Angeles.
