Chapter 26: Killed by Death

September 11, 1998 – Friday

Restfield Cemetery

Buffy looked at the cemetery wall and groaned as she jumped and caught the top of the wall. She hooked her hands over the top and pulled herself up. She wearily swung her legs over edge as a cough escaped her lips. Then with great effort she jumped down the other side. As she hit the ground, she was unable to keep her balance and had to place her hands on the wall to keep from toppling over. "Whoa," she said, breathing heavily through her mouth as her nose was stuffed up causing her to sniffle from time to time.

As she pulled a stake out of her jacket, she put her hand on her forehead and moaned. Slowly, she started to make her way across the graveyard. She was still sniffling and rubbing her nose when she sensed something. She tried to concentrate as she slowly approached a small mausoleum. She raised the stake and jumped around the corner, swinging it to strike at whatever was there.

Xander screamed and reflexively jumped back, holding on tightly to his own stake.

"Non-vampire," Buffy muttered.

Willow and Cordelia came around the corner reflexively holding up crosses in front of them for protection.

Buffy frowned. "Plus, two."

Willow put her cross away. "Hi," she said meekly as they all stepped out into the open.

"Man, Buffy," Xander said, composing himself. "My whole life just flashed before my eyes." He then looked at Willow and Cordelia. "I've got to get me a life."

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked them as she put her stake back in her belt.

"What are you doing here?" Willow asked directing the question back at her friend.

"Well, I'm patrolling!" Buffy replied.

Willow was concerned. "Buffy, you're sick," she said trying to reason with her friend.

"I feel fine," Buffy countered. "The ground's moving around a little bit, but I like it. It's like a ride," she said jokingly.

Cordelia shook her head. "Half the school's out with this flu," she informed the Slayer, who still had not gotten back into school. "It's a serious deal, Buffy. We're all concerned about how gross you look."

Buffy looked at Cordelia with an expression of contempt. "I'm touched. Really. But I have work to do."

Willow frowned. "Buffy, come on, one night of rest is not going to kill you."

A vampire lunged from around the corner of the mausoleum. He ran right past Buffy, straight for Cordelia, and tackled her to the ground. Buffy grabbed him by the back of his coat and pulled him off the cheerleader. She turned him around, took him by the coat collar, and swung at him with her stake. The vampire caught Buffy's wrist and bent her hand backward until she dropped the stake.

Buffy looked at him and punched him in the jaw. He glared back at her and tried to kick her, but she grabbed his foot and shoved his leg up, making him fall hard onto his back. The vampire scrambled to all fours. She came at him from behind and tried to kick him, but he kicked out with his leg into her chest, and she staggered back.

He got up and came toward Buffy. She took a couple of swings at him, but he evaded them easily. He blocked a third, grabbed her arm, and took her by the throat. He then punched her in the face, and she stumbled backward again. He punched her in the gut, then grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against a gravestone.

She was dazed and tried to regain her balance but didn't get a chance, because he wasted no time punching her in the face and knocking her flat on her back.

He got on top of her and pinned her arms down. He started to bend down to bite her, but just then Willow threw her jacket over his head. Xander grabbed his head under the jacket, punched him, and kneed him twice in the face. The vampire fell over onto his back as Willow, Xander and Cordelia pulled out their crosses and held them out at him as he got up.

At the sight of the crosses turned and ran off away from them.

Buffy put her hand to her forehead. "I told you guys to leave, I..." As she struggled to get to her feet she started feeling dizzy. "I…Oh…" She fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Buffy!" Xander kneeled next to the fallen Slayer. "Are you alright?" When he received no response he took her both shoulders and lightly shook her. "Buffy?"

Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

Xander rushed into the emergency room's waiting room with Buffy in his arms as Willow and Cordelia followed right behind. "We need help!" he called out.

"Somebody, please! Now!" Willow added.

"What happened?" asked an intern as he approached them.

"He fell," Xander answered barely remembering to use the male pronouns in his worry for Buffy.

"The flu," Willow added.

Cordelia nodded. "Shh…He…" she said correcting herself at the last second, "…he fainted."

"The flu, fainted and fell," Xander said as a nurse came over with a gurney. "He's sick! Make it better!"

"It's going to be okay," the intern assured them. "Let's get her up," he instructed as Xander laid Buffy out on the gurney. "The patient is unconscious." He took out his pen light and checked Buffy's eyes for a response. "Pupils are unequal and unresponsive," he told the nurse who was taking notes as they started to wheel Buffy into the emergency room.

"What does that mean?" Cordelia wondered as she, Willow and Xander followed.

"Is he going to be okay?" Willow asked.

The intern looked up at the Scoobies. "People, you need to give us some room, here!" he said as they met Dr. Wilkinson at the entrance to the emergency room.

"What've we got?" the doctor asked.

"Teenage boy, high-grade fever, possible fractures," the intern answered.

"Get him into Trauma One. Give me a CBC, chem 7, type and screen," Dr. Wilkinson ordered as the intern and nurse took Buffy through the doors to the emergency room beyond. Willow, Xander and Cordelia tried to follow, but she blocked their way. "Excuse me, you're going to have to wait out here."

"Someone should be with him," Xander cried.

"You're going to have to wait out here." Dr. Wilkinson said as she hurried inside, swinging the door closed behind her.

"Doctor," the intern said. They had been removing Buffy's close to get a better look at Buffy's injuries when he had noticed something. "Uh we have a problem."

"What?" the doctor asked coming up beside the intern. She saw what the intern had…breast…albeit still small. "They did identify the patient by male pronouns, right?"

"Yes," the intern answered as one of the nurses covered Buffy.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Willow turned to Xander. "I'll call Giles. Tell him what happened," she said before looking at Cordelia. "Call Buffy's mom. Tell her what happened."

Xander turned to look through the window into the examination room as the girls rushed off to find a phone. "She's going to be okay," he muttered to himself.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Later, Xander, Willow and Cordelia were sitting in a row of chairs waiting worriedly while Giles waited by the door and nervously cleaned his glasses. The elevator door opened, and Joyce came out followed by Dawn. They saw them sitting there.

"Where is he?" Joyce asked as the Scoobies stood up.

"Still in the emergency room," Giles answered as he approached the Summers matriarch.

"Where was he?" Joyce questioned wondering if this was Slayer related or something else.

"Restfield Cemetery," Willow answered. "He was fighting a vampire when he fainted, we think from the flu that's going around."

"I want to see him," Joyce said starting for the emergency room door.

Cordelia shook her head sadly at the mother of two. "They won't let us in."

Just then, Dr. Wilkinson came to the door. "Mrs. Summers?"

"I'm Joyce Summers," Joyce said walking toward the doctor. "This is my daughter, Dawn."

"I'm Dr. Wilkinson," the doctor said introducing herself.

"Is Rutherford okay?" Joyce questioned with worry.

"We were able to stabilize—" Dr. Wilkinson started before being cut off by Joyce.

"Is Rutherford okay?" Joyce repeated.

"She's going to be fine," the doctor answered.

Joyce let out a breath. "Thank you," she said in relief. Then it hit her that the doctor had referred to her son with female pronouns. "She?"

"I want to keep her here a few days, though," the doctor continued not catching on that Joyce didn't know about Buffy's transgender status. "She's still got some healing to do."

"She?" Joyce repeated.

"Was Rutherford hurt badly?" Giles questioned.

"The injuries from the fall were minor: Sprained wrist and a couple of cracked ribs," Dr. Wilkinson answered. "I'm more concerned about her fever."

"Rutherford said this morning he was feeling better," Joyce said pushing the reoccurring use of female pronouns to the back of her mind for now.

"She will be," the doctor promised. "But she's still suffering from exhaustion and dehydration."

"I keep telling Rutherford that Yoo-Hoo is not a fluid replenisher," Willow admitted.

"Come on. I'm sure you want to see her," the doctor said as she led mother and daughter, followed by Giles and the Scoobies back the way she had come.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

They went to a hall upstairs near Buffy's assigned hospital room, where they waited for her to be brought up. When they saw her coming, they all approached the bed noticing she had an IV in her right hand and that her left forearm was wrapped in an elastic bandage.

"Rutherford?" Joyce said as she smiled at her eldest child. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hey," Xander added as they accompanied Buffy down the hall to her room. "We're all here."

"Hey…" Buffy said slurring her words, "…here we are. It's all of we! Are we taking me home?" she asked her mother as she tried to sit up.

"Rutherford, you need to lie down," Dr. Wilkinson instructed.

"Yes, lie at home," Buffy protested, weakly. "My bed is better than any bed that's not my bed."

The doctor looked up at the family and friends. "She's still a little out of it."

"Shh!" Buffy said looking at Xander. "Hospital zone. No singing," she added with a small chuckle.

"She'll feel better after she's been here a while," Dr. Wilkinson said as she gently pushed Buffy back down.

Buffy, suddenly sober, began struggling with the covers of the bed. "No. Let me go."

"Rutherford, what's wrong?" Willow asked suddenly concerned.

"Let me go!" Buffy pleaded as she once again tried to get up.

Cordelia looked at Xander. "I think he wants to go."

"I need some assistance!" the doctor called out. It took her, the orderly pushing the bed and two nurses to get Buffy to lie back down.

"Tell them," Buffy pleaded looking at her friends, mother, sister and Giles. "The vampires. I've got to kill the vampires!"

"She's been like this since she came in," Dr. Wilkinson said as she prepared a syringe.

"Probably the fever?" Xander questioned for the doctor's benefit.

"Yeah. It's made him delusional," Willow agreed.

"They're out there!" Buffy said frantically.

Giles laughed as if it were all a joke. "It's okay, Rutherford. We'll get those vampires some other time!" He noticed the doctor look at him with a raised eyebrow. "I hear it's best to just go along."

"This will help her relax," the doctor said as she put the needle to Buffy's arm and injected her with the sedative. Cordelia cringed and looked away. When she pulled the needle back out, Buffy lay back and breathed heavily.

"Buffy?" Dawn whispered as she placed a hand on her sister's arm.

"I want to go home," Buffy pleaded with her sister.

Joyce placed her own hand next to Dawn's. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

Buffy stared up from the gurney as her eyes began to feel heavy from the sedative. "Please don't make me stay. Not here," she pleaded as she was wheeled into the room.

"Doctor," Joyce said. "Can I talk with you privately; I have some questions."

"Of course," Dr. Wilkinson said as she motioned for Joyce to follow as they followed Buffy into the room, closing the door behind them.

After a moment, Xander looked over at Giles. "That was a new experience. I'm not used to seeing Buffy scared like that."

Dawn looked at her sister's friends. "Buffy hates hospitals," she admitted a little reluctantly. "Has since I was really little."

"What happened?" Willow wondered looking at the younger Summers sister.

"Our cousin, Celia, died in a hospital," Dawn answered sadly. "Mom said that Buffy was alone with Celia when it happened. From what mom told me they were very close. Like me and Buffy."

"Yuck," Cordelia admitted sadly.

"How old was she?" Willow wondered.

"Eight," Dawn answered. "This is the one thing Buffy has never talked about even with me. The only reason I know about it is because of mom since I was two-years-old at the time."

"And that's why she hates hospitals?" Willow asked as Dawn nodded.

"Can't say as I blame," Xander admitted as he looked into Buffy's room.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy tossed and turned, sleeping fitfully while moaning occasionally as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

Buffy's Dreamscape

Buffy took a deep breath as she opened her eyes. She blinked several times before looking over at the door. It was standing open, and a young boy was there, just silently staring in at her. A few moments later, he started away down the hall.

She continued to look out the door, and saw a man in a black suit and hat walk by. He glanced into Buffy's room and she saw his ghastly white face, beak-like nose, hairless head, ugly red-rimmed eyes, teeth that were sharp and fang-like and elongated fingers.

He looked back after the boy and continued to follow him out of view. Buffy raised her head in disbelief. She pushed her hair back with her bandaged hand and slowly sat up. As she got out of bed, she unhooked her IV before tying her robe closed and walking out of the room.

Unnoticed by Buffy she was no longer in the body of her sixteen-year-old self, but in the body of her eight-year-old self. She slowly and tentatively walked down the middle of the hallway passing a janitor mopping the floor. She heard moans echoing throughout the hall as she looked around.

Buffy passed by an empty wheelchair, a cart on which sat a tray of surgical instruments and a defibrillator 'crash cart.' She cautiously headed into a room and walked toward a curtain. She nervously reached up to pull it away.

September 12, 1998 – Saturday

Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

Buffy stirred and woke from her dream, she looked around to get her bearings. She spotted the clock next to her bed read: 2:27 A.M. Then she noticed her door was open, but there was no one there. The faint sound of children crying came to her Slayer enhanced hearing from somewhere down the hall. She pushed her hair back with her bandaged hand and slowly sat up.

She felt the IV in the back of her right hand and pulled the tape off and the needle out. Then she covered her face with both hands, drew them back through her hair, and started to get out of bed. She steadied herself on the bed rail before heading into the hallway. As she walked down the hall, she heard coughing coming from a room and looked through the door as she passed. She saw a woman tucking in an old man. "You'll be fine," the woman said. "Is that better?"

She continued down the hall and looked into the next room. An old woman was sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands. She continued, heard the old woman cough, and let out a little cough of her own. She passed another doorway.

Following the sounds of the crying Buffy walked toward the door to the children's ward as two orderlies wheeled a child covered with a sheet out of the ward.

"Man, I hate it when you lose the young ones," one of them said.

As they went down the hall past Buffy, she looked at the gurney and saw the body under the sheet was child-sized. She turned back to the children's ward door and slowly approached it. She could hear Dr. Wilkinson and another doctor arguing inside in hushed tones, so she didn't go in.

"I'm just saying step back the dosage until we can analyze the results," Dr. Wilkinson said.

"There isn't time. I would think that would be clear by now," the other doctor countered.

Buffy peeked into the room and Dr. Wilkinson and the other doctor. From the badge on his white coat, she learned the other doctor was named Backer.

"The normal course of treatment—" Dr. Wilkinson started.

"They aren't responding to the normal course of treatment," Dr. Backer said waving at the children. "They're getting worse." He took out a syringe and went to one of the kids and injected something into the child's IV.

"Raising their temperatures is potentially—" she started to remind him.

"Dr. Wilkinson, I have the parents' consent," he countered.

"They're desperate," Dr. Wilkinson admitted. "They don't understand what you're doing."

"If you have a problem with my methods, bring it up with the board," he told her.

"I have," she informed him.

Buffy had heard enough and turned away to go. There in front of her was the little boy that she saw in her dream and a little girl. She stopped, and they looked at each other.

"He comes at night. The grown-ups don't see him," the boy said. "He was with Tina. He'll come back for us."

"Who?" Buffy asked.

"Death," the boy answered.

Buffy's Dreamscape

Celia was on the bedroom floor, covered with pillows, and writhing around, pretending to be trapped under a pile of snow and ice. "Help me, help! Avalanche! Help! Help! I'm trapped! Avalanche! Help! Help!"

Buffy ran in through the door and stopped in a heroic stance with her hands on her hips. "Power Girl to the rescue!" She kneeled down and started to heave off the pillows—as though they were huge, heavy blocks of ice and snow—and threw them aside.

"Help me! Help! Help! Please, help!" Celia cried.

Buffy got the last pillows off Celia's face, and she sat up.

"You saved me! Thank you, Power Girl!"

The two girls embraced.

"You're safe now."

"And your secret is safe with me," Celia informed her cousin.

Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

Buffy woke with a start the next morning as Dr. Wilkinson stared down at her. "Good morning," the doctor said.

"Could of fooled me…" Buffy moaned as she rubbed her eyes before sitting up.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Wilkinson wondered as she reviewed Buffy's chart. "Looks like your fever is down."

"Well, good," Buffy said as she went to get out of bed. "Thanks for having me and let's try to keep in touch."

"Not so fast," the doctor said as she pushed Buffy gently back down. She then proceeded to check Buffy's bandaged arm. "Hmmm."

"Good Hmmm or bad Hmmm?" Buffy wondered.

"Swelling is down…" the doctor answered as she looked up at her patient. "Swelling is gone. Does that hurt?" she asked moving Buffy's wrist.

"Nope," Buffy answered.

"Amazing…" the doctor said as she returned to Buffy's chart.

"So, I should go," Buffy said wanting to get up again.

"Soon," the doctor answered as she stopped Buffy from leaving again. "We want to make sure that fever's gone. It's a strong virus. Not as strong as you, maybe…"

"Is that what Tina had?" Buffy asked suddenly.

Dr. Wilkinson looked down. Before she could answer, Giles, Willow, Xander and Cordelia walked through the door.

"May we come in?" Giles asked.

Dr. Wilkinson smiled. "Please. See if you can keep our patient from bolting," she said before turning back to Buffy. "Rest." She headed out as Giles and the Scoobies moved around Buffy's bed.

Xander presented a balloon bouquet to Buffy. Flowers for m'lady?"

"These are balloons," Buffy informed him.

"Stick 'em in water, maybe they'll grow," he joked.

"And, not to be outdone—" Willow said as she grandly presented Buffy with box of chocolates. "Just my way of saying 'Get Well Soon.'"

"I love you; you know that?" Buffy said as she smiled at Willow.

"Nobody told me we were supposed to bring gifts," Cordelia admitted fidgetingly. "I was out of the loop on gifts."

"Well, it's traditional among…people," Giles informed Cordelia before turning back to Buffy. "Did you pass the night well enough?"

"Well, not really. Some stuff happened; I'm wondering…" Buffy said before looking into the crowded hall. "Let's take a walk."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Willow pushed Buffy in a wheelchair as their friends and Giles followed along. "Now this part I could get used to," she informed Willow.

"You want me to go really fast?" Willow asked as Giles gave her a look. "Not that I would…"

"You were discussing 'stuff'?" Giles questioned.

Buffy nodded. "Stuff, yeah. You know a girl died here last night."

"How?" Willow wondered.

"Well, that flu," Buffy informed her.

"Flu? Doesn't exactly sound monsterrific," Xander countered.

"Well, there's this Dr. Backer, he's been giving them experimental treatments—he's kind of creepy—I'm not sure what he's up to," Buffy explained. "And then I met this kid, Ryan. He said he saw something."

"Saw what?" Giles wondered.

"Death," Buffy answered.

"Death?" Cordelia sought to confirm.

"The Death?" Willow asked. "As in, 'it is your time?'"

Giles sighed. "Buffy, a frightened child—"

"But I thought I saw something," Buffy cut in. "I was out of it, I'm not sure, but."

"But you do know it was death?" Cordelia asked.

"Did he have an hourglass?" Willow added.

"If he asks you to play chess, don't even do it. Guy's like a whiz," Xander said jokingly.

"Look, maybe it wasn't death," Buffy suggested. "Maybe it was something else," she added pointedly.

"Okay, so this isn't that you're afraid of hospitals cause your little friend died and you want to conjure up a monster that you can fight and save everybody and not feel helpless?" Cordelia asked.

Giles turned to Cordelia a frown planted on his face. "Cordelia, have you ever actually heard of tact?"

Cordelia smirked. "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."

Willow sighed as she looked at Buffy. "Dawn told us about your cousin…"

"Of course, she did," Buffy groaned. "But this has nothing to do with that. This kid Ryan was afraid of something. Something real. As long as I'm forced to stay here, I want to find out what."

"Is this the place where we say, 'What can we do to help?'" Xander wondered.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy looked up, a slight smile on her face as her mother walked into the hospital room. "Hey, mom. Where's Dawn?"

"She's over at her friend Janice's house," Joyce answered. "Rutherford, I need to ask you a serious question. And I would like you to be truthful."

"Sure, mom," Buffy answered.

"Are you a girl?" Joyce asked as she sat in the chair next to Buffy's bed. "I mean, do you identify as…"

Buffy's smile faded. She lowered her eyes and thought. She'd hidden from her mother for so long now she barely knew how to stop. "I am a girl," she finally admitted as she looked up at her mother. "I've wanted to tell you for—for a while now, actually. But I didn't know how to…" She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Look at me, Ruther…what should I call you?"

"Buffy…Buffy Anne," Buffy answered as she looked her mom in the eyes, afraid of what she would find there.

Joyce's eyes were warm. "Buffy," she said testing the name on her tongue. "I know I haven't always been the best mother to you," she began. Buffy protested, and she said, "Hush. I know I've let you down before. When you told me about the slaying, and about being bisexual. I reacted poorly, and I regret that." She paused and smiled. "Did I ever tell you about when you were a little boy and you would get into my clothes?"

Buffy shook her head.

"You loved to play dress up," Joyce continued, her voice soft. "You'd put on dresses and high heels and beg me to do your makeup. You'd say that you were the prettiest princess in the whole wide world. As you got older, you learned, I think, how people thought about that. Your father got very angry when he found us playing once, and it stopped after that. When you came out, I thought that was the reason." She took Buffy's hand. "But it wasn't, was it?"

Buffy shook her head.

Joyce sighed. "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could trust me. I won't pretend there wasn't a reason. But it's okay, okay?" She patted Buffy's arm. "My brave girl."

Buffy started crying, and Joyce rubbed circles on her arm.

"It's okay," Joyce soothed. "I promise." She kissed Buffy's forehead. "Buffy. That's a beautiful name."

Buffy sniffled. "Thank you. So, how did…"

"How did I find out?" Joyce asked with a sigh. "When the doctors were examining you." Her eyes flicked toward Buffy's chest.

"Oh," Buffy answered as her IVless arm went to cover her developing chest. "I got some meds while I was in Los Angeles."

"I thought so. And since you were a runaway, I would say you didn't exactly get them through a doctor, did you?" Joyce asked as Buffy nodded. She sighed. "As soon as we get school straightened out. I am going to start looking for a doctor who is friendly to…what exactly do you…"

"Transgender," Buffy supplied.

"To someone who is transgender," Joyce concluded. "Till then I think you should start. Your going to have to help me with the terms here."

"It's okay, mom," Buffy admitted with a grin. "I'll do anything I can to help you. And its called transitioning. There is social transition, medical transition and legal transition. Medical transition is getting hormones. The legal transition is changing your gender assigned to you at birth on things like your birth certificate. Those usually require you to go to court. The social transition is coming out to friends and school and things like that. I'm already out to my friends, Giles and Dawn."

"Dawn knew?" Joyce asked in surprise as Buffy nodded.

"She was the first person I ever told," Buffy admitted.

"That's why she was so mad at you over the summer wasn't it?" Joyce asked. "Not just because you ran away. But because…"

"Because of how close we were as a result of my telling her that I was trans," Buffy answered. "She has been the most supportive person I've known. I told her everything. She was the first person I told about being the Slayer, too. I hated hurting her like that. But with the police investigation and my having to kill Angel. I…I had to leave."

"But those weren't the only reasons you left," Joyce said in understanding as Buffy nodded. "Leaving allowed you to go someplace where you could be yourself. If I hadn't been so blind. You wouldn't have had to do that."

"It's okay, mom," Buffy said as she patted Joyce's arm. "Dawn and I patched things up. And now here you are, you know and your willing to help me become the girl I always wanted to be."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy walked into the children's ward that evening to find some of the kids were playing with toys or were reading. She spotted Ryan sitting a table drawing on a pad of paper. "Hi. Remember me?" she said as she approached him.

"You're not supposed to be here," Ryan said as he looked up at her.

"Why not?" she wondered.

"Contagious," he informed her.

"Oh, I already got what you got," Buffy said with a shake of her head. "What, because I'm a grownup? Believe me, I'm not that grownup—" She looked down at the crayon drawing he was working on. Her eyes went wide as she realized it was the demon that she had seen the night before.

"He'll come again tonight," Ryan informed her.

"Ryan, listen to me," Buffy said. "I'm not going to let this thing hurt you. Any of you." She waited for him to say something but instead he remained silent. "Grown-ups don't believe you, right? I do. There are real monsters, we both know that. But there're real heroes, too, that fight monsters. That's me."

"Can't fight death," he said, not believing she could fight it.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Later that night Buffy was walking down the hallway past the kids' ward when Dr. Backer came tumbling out. He lay on the ground, unmoving. Buffy knelt down to check for a pulse and found none, indicating he was dead. Suddenly she was thrown aside by something she couldn't see before being slammed against a wall. She fell to the floor, dazed.

She watched as Dr. Backer's arms were lifted up, and his body was dragged past Buffy by her unseen attacker and around the corner.

September 13, 1998 – Sunday

Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

Giles and the Scoobies walked into Buffy's room to find her sitting on the bed looking at Ryan's picture. "Well. It looks like you were on to something after all," Giles said.

"I know," Buffy informed him.

"The girl Tina - it looks as though she died from the fever, simple enough," Giles continued. "But her records show her improving and then suddenly worsening without apparent cause."

"So, we checked out Dr. Backer and this guy is not the solid citizen—"

"It's not him. Backer was clean," Buffy told them.

"What do you mean, clean?" Cordelia wondered.

"What do you mean, was?" Xander added.

Buffy turned the picture so they could all see it. "He's dead. This thing killed him. And not with kindness."

"You saw it," Willow said.

Buffy shook her head. "No, it was invisible. I saw Backer nearly shredded and the thing knocked me down. It's real. Which means I get to fight it."

"It would help if you knew what it was," Giles admitted. "It's invisible to you but the children can see it."

"But you said you did see something the other night," Cordelia reminded Buffy.

"Yeah, but I was pretty delirious...I mean, why would I see it then and not last night?" Buffy asked as Joyce, followed by Dawn, walked into the room.

Joyce smiled. "Good morning, Ru—Buffy."

Willow's eyes widened in surprise as she looked toward her friend. "She knows?"

Buffy nodded. "Mom knows. Apparently, the doctors saw," her eyes flicked to her chest before looking back up at Willow, "something and notified her."

"I'm happy for my girl," Joyce informed them.

"So, what's going on?" Dawn asked. "Is it just a visit or are you guys talking Slayer things?"

"Slayer," Giles answered. "It seems Buffy found a monster right here in the hospital."

"Then this might not be a good time to reveal this," Joyce said. "The doctor said I could take you home."

"Is there anything you can do to see if I can stay?" Buffy asked hopeful. "Maybe tell them my symptoms are flaring up again."

"I will see what I can do," Joyce said as she turned and left the room.

"Its s a good thing mom knows about you being the Slayer," Dawn admitted to her sister.

"Yeah it is," Buffy agreed. "Did she tell you what…"

"Yeah she told me everything that you and she talked about yesterday," Dawn answered with a huge grin. "I'm happy for you Buffy. Now you don't have to hide anymore."

"I don't," Buffy agreed.

"So, what's the drill?" Xander asked getting them back on topic.

"Giles," Buffy said as she handed him Ryan's picture. "Let's get a mug shot on this guy. I need to know who I'm fighting."

"Right," Giles agreed.

"I'll check Backer's office. See if there are any post-its marked 'Why a monster might want me dead,'" Buffy said.

Xander nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"If I do find something, I probably won't have the slightest idea what it means, so, Willow…" Buffy said looking toward her redheaded friend.

"Oh, I'm good with medical stuff," Willow admitted. "Xander and I used to play doctor all the time."

Everyone turned and looked at Xander, even Dawn. "No, she's being literal. She had all these medical volumes, used to diagnose me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong."

"Wrong? Why?" Willow asked obviously confused. She looked at Buffy. "How did you play doctor?"

"I never have," Buffy said embarrassedly.

Dawn moved over beside Willow and stood on her tiptoes to whisper in her ear. When she and Buffy had been younger, they had actually played doctor once.

"Oh," Willow said, her eyes going wide.

"Fascinating though this is…" Giles cut in.

"Yeah. Right. Go," Buffy said.

"We'll call when we know something," Giles said as he, Xander and Cordelia headed for the door.

"Know something soon," Buffy instructed them.

Joyce walked into the room passing Giles, Xander and Cordelia on their way out. "Okay, I got you one more day. Without showing physical symptoms its going to be a case of they will have to discharge you tomorrow."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Thanks, mom. I'm glad I told you, it makes being the Slayer easier."

"I'm glad you no longer have to hide anything from me anymore," Joyce admitted with a smile.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy and Willow quietly slid into the dark an eerie office that used to belong to Dr. Backer. As they entered the room Willow closed the door while Buffy turned on the lights to reveal it exactly how the doctor had left it.

"It's weird going through his stuff," Willow admitted as she noticed a folder and began to leaf through it. "He didn't finish his coffee. Guess he won't."

"Yet another person I wasn't in time to save," Buffy said with a sigh.

"I think I got something here," Willow informed her friend, who was searching around the room. "Okay, this makes sense…Dr. Backer was trying to inoculate kids with a controlled dosage of the same virus they already had. Raising their temperatures to burn the fever out of them."

Buffy opened the refrigerator and pulled out a couple vials. "Would that work?" she asked.

Willow picked up a chart and read it over. "According to this, it was starting to. So, he really was helping the kids. Until that thing stopped him."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy and Willow had returned to Buffy's hospital room in time to hear the phone ringing. "Hello?" Buffy said when she answered it.

"It's called 'Der Kindestod,'" Cordelia said from the other end of the line.

"Who is this?" Buffy joked glancing at Willow who stood next to her. She knew full well who it was.

"It's me," Cordelia answered. "I got your monster."

Buffy looked toward Willow and mouthed, 'Cordelia.' "Where's Giles?" she asked returning her attention to the phone.

"Looking up stuff," Cordelia told her.

"Well, can you put him on?" Buffy asked.

"Hey, I found this Kindestod guy," Cordelia said hotly. "Just listen."

"Right," Buffy replied with a roll of her eyes.

"The name means 'Child Death.' This book says he feeds off of children by sucking the life out of them," Cordelia said reading from the book she found the demon in. "Blech. But afterwards, it just looks like they died because they were sick."

"So, it did kill Tina?" Buffy wondered.

"That's my take," Cordelia admitted. "Because it would be looking at that children's ward as basically an all-you-can-eat kind of thing."

Buffy nodded as she glanced back at Willow again. "Backer was curing the kids—and taking away the Kindestod's food," she said in understanding.

"Hence the slice-age," Cordelia agreed.

In the background Buffy could hear that Giles was now standing beside Cordelia. "I found a picture of how it kills," he told the cheerleader. "Let me talk to—"

"Eww!" Cordelia cried.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"You should see how this thing does its things!" Cordelia informed her. "I mean…eww!"

Buffy heard the sounds of the phone being handed to someone else and then Cordelia walking away.

"Buffy, you still there?" Giles asked.

"Hanging on every 'eww,'" Buffy informed him.

"The Kindestod gorges by sitting atop his prey, pinning it down helplessly," Giles informed her. "Then he slowly draws out the life. It must be horrifying for the victim."

Willow watched as Buffy began to stare off into space. "Buffy?" she said.

Buffy's Dreamscape

Buffy pulled back the curtain and saw her cousin laying in the bed gasping and panting, being held down by an invisible force. "Celia?" she said slowly as she approached Celia.

Celia shot out her hand and grabbed Buffy's wrist tightly. Terror covered her face as she struggled for breath.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked.

"Get it off me!" Celia pleaded. "Get it off me!"

Buffy watched her cousin, clearly horrified. "I don't know what to do! Celia!" she said with wide eyes.

Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

Buffy held the phone, numb with shock and realization.

"Buffy? Buffy, what is it?" Giles said from the other end.

Willow looked at Buffy, with concern as she grabbed the phone out of her friend's hand. "Thanks," she said before hanging the phone up. "What is it?" she asked as she placed a hand on her friend's arm.

Buffy looked at Willow with resolve on her face. "I've got to get this thing, Willow. Before it gets those kids."

"Buffy?" Willow said knowing something had happened. Something Giles or Cordelia had said had triggered something in her friend. "What happened?

"It killed, Celia," Buffy answered as she brushed a tear from her eyes.

Willow's eyes widened in surprise. "We will get it, not only for those kids but for yours and Dawn's cousin as well."

"But how?" Buffy asked, clearly frustrated. "I can't even see it!"

"You saw it once," Willow reminded her.

"Did I?" Buffy questioned. "Maybe my mind was playing with me. I mean, I was crazed with that fever and—" she stopped as realization dawned on her. She looked up at Willow.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy reached inside Dr. Backer's refrigerator and pulled out a vial containing the virus.

"Buffy, think about this," Willow said trying to be the voice of reason.

"I am," Buffy admitted, her mind continuing to flashback every so often to Celia's death. "Lots of thoughts."

"It's crazy," Willow informed her.

"The fever," Buffy informed her. "That's how you see the Kinderstod. That's why Celia could see it. That's why Ryan still can. It's the only way."

"But how can you fight this thing when you have a 107-degree temperature?" Willow wondered.

"I guess we'll find out," Buffy said as she raised the vial to her lips.

"Buffy!" Willow cried grabbing the vial from her friend's hands. "This is 100% pure. It'll kill you in an instant."

Buffy looked at the vial. "They should put that on the label."

Willow sighed. "Here. It needs to be diluted," she said as she poured some water into a beaker and mixed in a drop of the virus into it.

"This is going to have to work fast," Buffy informed her friend, who put in another drop. "Faster than that." Willow reluctantly added another drop before handing her the beaker. She looked at the beaker as she took a breath. "Here's to my health." In one gulp she swallowed it down.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

It didn't take long before Buffy started to feel the effects of the virus. She now had her arm over Willow's should as Willow guided her down the hall toward the kids' ward. "I'm not sure this was such a great idea," Buffy admitted.

"Hang in there. You'll be okay," Willow said worriedly.

Buffy got to the large window that looked into the kids' ward. "Okay…I'm okay," she as she steadied herself. She turned and looked through the window. Her face fell as she saw the room was empty of the children. "They're gone."

"What could've happened?" Willow asked.

"I don't know," Buffy answered trying to think of what might have happened. "Maybe I'm too late. Maybe they were moved. I don't want to think about the other maybe." She swayed a bit and steadied herself against Willow. She put her hand to head. "Oh…I'm burning up," she groaned as she looked through the window and saw the Kinderstod standing in the middle of the room. "Willow?"

"What?" Willow asked.

"It's in there," Buffy answered as she looked at the demon. "Good to see you."

The Kinderstod sniffed around the room. He then glanced toward a door marked 'basement access.'" Buffy went to try and open the door and found it lock. The rattling of the doorknob drew the Kinderstod's attention to her. He smiled and tipped his hat to her before turning and walking through the door to the basement.

"He's going after them," Buffy informed Willow as she rammed her shoulder into the door, trying to break it down. After a second try she fell against the door too weak to break it down. "We've got to get him," she said. "Give me a second and we'll get him."

Dr. Wilkinson came around a corner and saw Buffy leaning against the door, she hurried over. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"She's…not feeling well. Again," Willow answered for Buffy.

Dr. Wilkinson put her arm around Buffy. "You should be in bed," she informed the Slayer.

"I'm fine. Really," Buffy said knowing she had to save the kids.

"No. You're coming with me," the doctor informed her.

Buffy tried to pull away from Dr. Wilkinson, who was rather insistent. The good doctor almost dragged Buffy down the hall.

"No!" Buffy cried as she shoved Dr. Wilkinson, who fell backward against a wall.

"She's sorry…" Willow said sympathetically as she and Buffy took off down the hall.

Dr. Wilkinson hurriedly stood and reached for a phone on the wall. "Security to the children's ward," she said into the phone, her words echoing throughout the hospital. "We have a situation. Security!"

Buffy and Willow rounded a corner and Buffy stumbled as Willow continued to help her along. As they looked up the spotted two security guards coming right at them. Between the doctor down the corridor behind them and the two security guards they were trapped.

One of the guards slapped his billy club in his palm repeatedly. "Come on, now. Let's make this easy," he said as Buffy and Willow looked at each other.

Willow looked back at the guard and then decided to put on the best act of her life as she screamed and began to fight off an invisible attacker. "Bats! Arrghh! Get them off me! Horrible, horrible bats!"

The guards headed toward Willow as Buffy backed quietly down the hall away from them. She slipped quietly away while they were distracted. She staggered around another corner and bent down, her hands on her knees as she caught her breath.

"Buffy!" Xander called as he came running up to her, having returned from the school to offer whatever help he could. "Are you okay?"

"We have to get to the basement," Buffy said as she staggered forward, her head heavy. "Give me your…" she said weakly as she put her arm over Xander's shoulder. They head off toward the nearest door marked, 'Basement Access.'

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

In the basement the kids were huddled together in a corner. "Here," Ryan said as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around a girl who was shivering. She looked up at him. "It's okay. We're going to be safe in—" he stopped as the other kids began to scream. He turned and saw that the reason they were screaming was because of the Kinderstod, who stood right behind him.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Xander was helping Buffy down the stairs as quickly as possible. "You don't know how to kill this thing," he said.

"I thought I might try violence," Buffy said with grim determination.

"Solid call," Xander agreed.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

The Kinderstod lifted Ryan into the air, then tossed him to the ground before jumping on the boy, pinning his arms down. Ryan kicked and tried to fight the demon off as the Kinderstod's eyes bulged, then began to protrude from his head. They extended downward like tentacles and attached themselves against Ryan's forehead, pressing in hard. He began to drain the boy's strength and Ryan slowly began to grow still.

Suddenly behind the Kinderstod, Buffy appeared and walloped the Kinderstod with a two-by-four knocking the demon off Ryan.

"You make me sick," she told the demon as she glared at it.

The Kinderstod dove at Buffy and began to wrestle with her. Due to her fever she was in a weakened state, but she still managed to give it her all. Not just for the nearby kids, but in revenge for Celia.

Xander hurried over to Ryan and helped him to his feet. "Come on!" he instructed her the boy and the other kids to the door.

Buffy jumped on the Kinderstod's back. He flipped her over and snarled at her before pinning her to the floor. Buffy struggled to get free, but due to her weakened stated she realized she was trapped and about to meet the same fate as her cousin. The Kinderstod stared down at her as his eyes bulged out and began to protrude from his head.

"And the winner is…" Buffy said refusing to give up. With the last bit of her strength, she reached up with both hands, grabbed hold of the Kinderstod and snapped his neck. "Power Girl." She dumped the body to the ground and stood up as Xander approached her.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked.

"Actually, I'm starting to feel better," Buffy said as she wobbled and then collapsed into his arms.

September 17, 1998 – Thursday

Summers Home

Joyce walked into Buffy's room with a tray of food in hand. She was followed by Dawn who held a glass of juice. Buffy, who was flanked by Willow and Xander, glanced at her mother and sister and returned their smiles knowing they both were enjoying waiting on her.

"Here you go, honey. Peanut butter and extra jelly. With the crust off, just the way you like it," Joyce said as she sat the tray across Buffy's lap.

"And here is your juice," Dawn said. "I made sure mom made it just like you like it. Two-parts orange, one-part grapefruit."

"That's my drink," Buffy said with a smile as she took the glass from her sister.

As Joyce started to leave Dawn sat in the chair next to Buffy's bed.

"Mom?" Buffy called after her mother, who turned back to face her. She lifted the top piece of bread from her sandwich. "I wanted crunchy style."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Joyce apologized as she picked up the plate with a smile. "That reminds me, sweetie."

"And, um, I ordered extra jelly," Buffy added.

"Anything to help my so—daughter get well," Joyce said as Willow rattled the ice in her glass.

"While you're up, could I get a refill?" Willow asked politely. Joyce looked at her, the smile fading a bit. "It's just... I'm so comfortable."

"I'll get it for you, Willow," Dawn said as she stood up and took the glass from her sister's friend.

"Ooh, and another bag of Chee-Zee Chips," Xander requested.

"You ate the last one," Joyce informed him.

"No. I saw another bag hidden behind the raisins," Xander corrected.

Joyce sighed. "I'm on it," she said as she started out again.

"Your mom's trying to bogart the Chee-Zee Chips," Xander said to the Summers sisters. "What's that all about?"

"Oh, Ru—Buffy," Joyce said turning back to her daughter. "Two things, one I've made you an appointment with a doctor who claims to be transgender friendly. So that there isn't too much of a lapse in your medication. Oh and I've already contacted a lawyer about the legal and social transitioning stuff."

"Thanks, mom," Buffy said as she smiled at Joyce.

"And," Joyce said as she pulled an envelope out of her pocket. "This came in the mail."

Buffy took the envelope and looked at the return address. "It's from Ryan," she told her friends, her sister and her mother. She opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of paper. As she looked at it she smiled.

"Looks like you got a fan, Buffy," Dawn said looking over her sister's shoulder at the picture of Buffy, 'Power Girl!' written on her shirt, standing triumphantly over the broken, horribly bloodied body of Der Kindestod. "This reminds me," she admitted as she walked out of the room.

A moment later Dawn had returned with several postcards in her hands. "You know how I was while you were. But at the same time, I wanted to protect your secret too." She glanced at her mother sadly. "So, I hid them so you wouldn't see them." She held out the postcards to her sister.

Buffy took the postcards from Dawn and looked at the one on top, it read: Hola de Brazilia! She turned it over and read what was on the back. She then flipped to the second and then the third and so on through the pile, reading each of them. The postcards were all from Spike and they confused and irritated her.


Author's Note: I got a review complaining about Dead Man's Party. Saying Buffy wouldn't forgive Dawn very easily for being transphobic. And I was like, Dawn was never written as transphobic. When Buffy left in Becoming Part 2, I wrote Dawn as being angry at Buffy for running away. I made that distinction more than once. Are her comments in Dead Man's Party hurtful, yes. But Buffy knows Dawn is not transphobic. I've made that abundantly clear since the beginning of the story that Dawn is actually very supportive of Buffy. In fact I have not even written a transphobic character in this story, everyone to date has been supportive in one way or another.

Then they were like I was using the scripts to pad my word count. Uhm, yeah I am using scripts and sometimes novelizations. I've never hid that fact. My stories are by definition canon rewrites...

A definition of a canon rewrite is a fanfiction that largely retreads the events of canon but does so in a unique manner or with limited changes.

If you don't like canon rewrites and are looking for big sweeping changes or wholly original stories, then my stories aren't for you. And I ask that you don't review complaining that you don't like it, just go read something else. Something that is more to your taste.