Note: In this episode, Olaf learns about the joy of music!
"Yes, and the statues are going to go here..." Elsa says to the disinterested construction worker. "This is for when the couple goes through the red carpe-"
"AAAAAAAAHHH! SHUT UP, OLAF!" Anna's scream was heard throughout the room Elsa is at.
Anna enters the room looking annoyed and like she hasn't gotten any shut eye.
"Hey, hey! Anna! What's going on, why are you yelling at Olaf?" Elsa questions.
"Haven't you heard all the noise he's been making all night?!"
"Um, my room is far apart from him so, no?"
"Just constant screaming all night! I can't sleep; Kristoff is too busy at town to do anything about it, it's driving me to drink!" Anna exclaims with her arms in the air.
"Hey hey Anna. I'm a little bit busy with the preparations of Eugene and Rapunzel's wedding."
"Elsa, i won't be able to be AWAKE at Eugene and Rapunzel's wedding if he keeps this up." Anna said.
Elsa reassures Anna. "Okay, okay, Anna. Let's go to Olaf's room right now and tell him to stop all the noise."
"PLEASE." Anna groaned.
"Come on, Anna. There's nothing we can't solve with a little talk-"
Olaf is seen in his room doing a manic rhythm-free drum solo while playing the saxophone.
"ICEMAN ON THE FUCKING BEAT BITCH" Olaf screams at the top of his lungs.
"Olaf!…OLAF!" Elsa raises her voice to stop all the noise that Olaf is making. Olaf awkwardly stops the beating of his drums as he drops the saxophone by opening his mouth.
"What is the meaning of this?! Look at this room! I've never seen so many musical whosits and whatsits in my life!" Elsa exclaims.
"You better have a good explanation for keeping my insomnia going, Olaf!" Anna complained.
"Pshh, man. They don't understand true art these days." Olaf mused.
Anna then wonders and asks. "What were you doing anyway?"
"Recording bro!"
Elsa looks confused. "What? Where did you even get recording equipment, Olaf?"
Anna looked about as concerned as Elsa."Yeah, what is going on?!"
Olaf simply goes silent for a while. "I'm just saying, Elsa, Anna...We're gonna make it out Arendelle with this one"
Anna and Elsa look at each other for a moment in confusion.
OLAF BECOMES A SOUNDCLOUD RAPPER
THIS IS ARENDELLE (a.k.a Crack)
Opening credits set to a short version of Next Time Might Be Your Time by Blue Gene Tyranny. All this happens as the Cast smiles at the camera.
You know the next time might be your time
For love and honor
To take the bother
Just to see this thing through
Cause that what friends are here for!
"I seriously think it's another phase." Elsa says this to Anna while they're having brunch in the castle's garden. "At least for now, he'll get it over with in the shack we built him."
Olaf is seen going ballistic, punching the drums with his bare stick hands, Whiplash style. "ICE. MAN. IN. THIS. BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"
"That shack is incredibly fragile, Els." Anna says. "It's made of snow."
Elsa suddenly looks stressed. "Look, I don't know! I'm just so stressed out with Rapunzel's wedding, and it's so soon, and i gotta ge-"
"Hey Els, Els, Els. It's alright; everyone will come, including Kristoff. Besides, it's not like the wedding is tomorrow."
"It is tomorrow."
"WHAT?!" Anna exclaims.
"Oh jesus."
"OH MY DAMIAN PRINCE, KRISTOFF STILL ISN'T BACK FROM TOWN. He told me he would come back two days late!" Anna is now frantic.
"Oh my god, i forgot about that!" Elsa realizes.
"Goddamnit, I've got to make a call!" Anna gets up from the brunch and runs to the castle.
Olaf is seen in his snow shack, sitting down on a small chair while rapidly clattering at his computer keys.
"OKAY. Distorted_fruity_loop_melody_ 3 here, sped up soul sample from the 1970s here, 3 here, that's a sample of me in the drums, I think." Olaf is looking through the audio clips in his music-making program. As he shakes his hand nerviously for a spill of weed, he takes his phone to make a call.
"Come on, come on, come OON!" The call picks up. "Hey G-Swizzle, what up?"
"Hey, OG Olaf, where's the new track?"
"G, this producing business is a lot fucking harder than it seems, man; K-PESO still isn't here, and the Iceman Squad still has to show up to record the verses!"
"Remember about the video shoot; I can't keep my extra music video homies waiting."
As Olaf talks to G-Swizzle, he puts the blunt in an ashtray. "Obviously, G-Swiz, this is an essential part of the plan"
"The video?"
"That's right. That's our golden ticket, man!" OIaf looks very passionate and determined. "To finally make it out of Arendelle!"
G-Swizzle is kind of taken aback. "Arendelle is the richest country in the wo-"
"Anyway pay you back to your account bruh bruh bye."
"sweet thanks peace"
Olaf hangs up and the conversation ends. He goes back to finishing the beat.
"Okay now-oh wait i finished the beat." Silence. "YEAAAAAHHH THE BEAT IS FINISHED."
Olaf gets out of the snow shack with a triumphant feeling and screams with arms to the sky while it echoes through all of Arendelle.
"THE BEAT IS FUCKING FINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISHED"
Tomorrow morning, there are only a few hours for the wedding to start. Meanwhile, Elsa is preparing Rapunzel's dress. "I can't wait to be a wonderful wife to my sweet, loving husband on this wonderful day!" Rapunzel cheerfully says.
"Uh-huh." Elsa could not look more tired.
"I can't believe it's today where i finally say my vows to the man i love!"
"Mm-hmm."
"For some reason, Cassandra didn't want to go; said something about seeing a girl she liked being with someone else or something."
"Yes, ye- WAIT WHAT?" Elsa jumped in confusion.
"Kristoff, come on, you gotta come here or you'll miss the ceremony!" Anna scolds Kristoff over a phone call.
"Sorry, Ann, i'm really busy; I'll have to appear at the big kiss or whatever."
"The big kiss or whatever, flattering way of putting it. Come oooooon!" Anna whines.
"Oops uh theres a funeral going on BYE" Kristoff suspiciously hangs up quick.
"Kristoffer Colombus, don't you dare hang!-" He hangs up. "uuUUUUGH."
"Ahhhh Rapunzel, what was that you said about Cassandra?" Elsa asks with concern as Rapunzel ignores her.
"I SEE THE LIGHT!" Rapunzel is too busy wandering in her pre-wedding bliss.
Olaf and a bunch of snowmen are talking while they are in the snow shack. Olaf clears his voice to talk. "Okay, my Iceman Squad homies, now that we finished recording... Today is the day of the video shoot for our track. The track that well get us out of this rat-infested hellhole."
"Uuuh i like Arendelle man-" A skinny snowman says before being interrupted by Olaf.
"The track called: ANTARTIC LEAN CUP. Starring ME, OG OLAF!" Olaf calls the Iceman Squad members. "And featuring the snowman Iceman Squad members: ECCOCYDE, Fractal Fabio, Tsunami Boi and SkiMaskTheSequel!"
The Iceman Squad chants in unison "ICEMAN SQUAD REPRESENT!".
"Listen motherfuckers, and listen well!" Olaf says to the Iceman Squad. "We are gonna put our entire pussies into this music video, and we are going to change the landscape of rap forever! I except the swagger of ECCOCYDE to go well with the snowladies!"
"Follow me on twitter mannn" ECCOCYDE says while smoking weed. He's a skinny snowman with a total bro look.
Olaf goes to the next member. "Fractal Fabio, i hope your manic energy gets us the hypebeast audience!"
"RAH. TIME TO FUCK SOME SHIT UP BITCH" Fractal Fabio screams. He's a red-haired snowman with a black suit and expensive shoes.
Olaf proceeds to call the third member. "Tsunami Boi, your lyricism goes well with all the old-school hip-hop heads and Kendrick Lamar fans, so you pretty much got it."
"Kibity Flipity Boopity Googotity The Government is Putridy. That's my new verse for the next song!" Tsunami Boi raps some real garbage, a muscular snowman with a gray shirt.
"Hell yeah!" And then Olaf goes to the last member. "And SkiMaskTheSequel, I hope your name doesn't get us in trouble with the other Ski Mask."
SkiMaskTheSequel shivers nerviously in his nerdy outfit. "I'm really scared man like holy shit i'M sca-"
"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF SKI. THIS VIDEO WILL MAKE MILLION VIEWS." Olaf screams. "MAYBE EVEN B-B-BILLION". The Iceman Squad gasps dramtically in unison.
"ARE YOU READY ICEMAN SQUAD, ARE YOU READY TO-"
A unknown person opens the door, and enters the snow shack.
"HEY YO YO YO WHO IS IT?!" Olaf screams.
Then Sven comes to the shack and runs all around it. "Come on, Sven!" Kristoff yells at Sven.
"Hey!" Olaf said to Kristoff. "Olaf! There you are, you bastard!" Kristoff said to the snowman.
For a moment, they looked at each other with a serious look on their faces. There's a deep silence full of understanding between the two.
"Did you bring the camera, K-PESO?" Olaf asks Kristoff.
"Yes, OG OLAF."
Olaf and Kristoff do a shoulder hug. As they look determined to make it out of Arendelle, the rest of the Iceman Squad gathers in a circle and start chanting. "ICEMAN SQUAD REPRESENT!"
And at the wedding, Elsa and Anna are sitting with a room full of people ready to see the couple. Elsa is rocking back and forth while rubbing her hands. "Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel."
"Els, calm down. Everything is going to be fine." Anna tries to calm Elsa down.
"You don't understand, Anna; I planned this entire thing, so if it flops at the last minute—!"
Anna interrupts. "Wait, shhh, here they come!"
Outside the castle at a windy night, music video credits can be seen for the start of the Iceman Squad's song "ANTARTIC LEAN CUP". Kristoff is filming the entire thing.
"ICEMAN SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAD" Olaf screams in hype. Random snowmen in jerseys can be seen dancing along with snowgirls. As well as a bunch of lowriders moving up and down while the lights are going crazy.
"T-T-THIS IS COLD AS FUCK" The producer tag echoes away as the rest of the Iceman Squad members start the track.
"WE FUCKIN IT UP STRAIT OUTTA ARENDELLE YA FUCKING CUNT" Fractal Fabio shreaks.
"SPEAK YOUR SHIT TSUNAMI BOOOOIIII." Olaf screams. "HERE WE GO"
[Verse 1]
Tsunami Boi: BITCH IM A MOTHERFUCKING SNOWMAN, ABOMINABLE
IM FROSTY YOU MORE CRUSTY THAN AN OLD MAN WITH PARKINSONS
THE MONEY KEEP FLOWIN, AS MY SNOWMAN KEEP DYING
MY HOMIES ALL AROUND ME REALLY MELTING LIKE POPSICLES
GOT THE DANCE MOVES, CALL ME MICHEAL
OUR HOMIE FRACTAL FABIO IS THE BIGGEST PSYCHO
EVERY DAY MY HEART FEELS LIKE AN HELADO
BILINGUAL SNOWMAN, YOUNG DESPERADO
[Verse 2]
Fractal Fabio: ANTARTIC LEAN CUP, EVERY DAY
YOU FUCK WITH ME, YOU WON'T GET AWAY
I WILL SHOOT A FROZEN BULLET IN YOUR BRAIN
THAT'S A REAL BRAIN FREEZE, THAT'S TRUE PAIN
Inside the castle, the noise is rattling the curtains and causing a bit of a ruckus. "What in the Lord's name is going on out there?" Elsa wonders as noise is heard throughout the room.
"Oh no.." Anna has a suspicion. "You think it's Olaf...?"
"Oh, of course not; he has to be in his shack."
"Oh, time for the vows!" Anna points in excitement.
[Chorus]
Iceman Squad: MY LEAN COLDER THAN ANTARTICA, YUH
MY LEAN COLDER THAN ANTARTICA, YUH
Olaf screams to Kristoff in the windy air at night. "More on the wind machine's K-PESO!"
"What wind machines, dude?! It's cold as hell here! Besides, the budget was spent on the flashing lowriders with the Christmas lights!"
"How the fuck is hell cold dude"
Sven goes to the lowrider, and he gets into it while jumping ecstatically.
"SVEN NO!" Kristoff scolds Sven. "DON'T RIDE THE LOWRIDER! BAD!" Unfortunately, Sven starts the engine of the lowrider and starts driving slowly but surely to the castle as it accelerates.
"Oh nononoNONONONO. Olaf, we've got a serious problem!" Kristoff calls Olaf out in the wind.
"The problem is you not filming the golden ticket out of Arendelle, K-PESO!" Olaf says to Kristoff.
"Arendelle MADE you, OG-Olaf!"
At the wedding, Minister Mickey Mouse is speaking. "I stand before this couple this day to unite them in the bonds of matrimony. If there be anyone present that may present a just and lawful reason why these two individuals may not be lawfully wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace, u-huh!"
Outside Kristoff is panicking at the lowrider's increasing speed as it goes towards the castle entrance. "NonnonononNO SVEN NOOOOO!"
"ICEMAN SQUAD, OUR CAMERAMAN PUSSED OUT." Olaf calls out the Iceman Squad. "FOLLOW HIM AND VIDEO EXTRAS, RIDE THE LOWRIDERS!"
"ICEMAN SQUAD REPRESENT." Everyone follows Kristoff and the lowrider.
Rapunzel gets startled by the engine's noises outside. "What was that?!"
"What the hell is that noise?!" Elsa is becoming increasingly scared.
"Why is the minister Mickey Mo-" Anna gets interrupted by Sven wrecking the doors of the entrance with a lowrider, as everybody starts screaming and running away at the sudden chaos. As the lowrider enters, the snowmen video extras break the statues while bringing a giant boombox playing ANTARTIC LEAN CUP as they're dancing and screaming adlibs in the room.
"WHAT THE-" Elsa said while shocked.
"OH MY GOD I KNEW IT" Anna groaned as her fears were confirmed.
"WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE COCKSUCKING CHRIST IS GOING ON?!" Rapunzel screamed out of nowhere.
"...Where did you l-learn those terms?!" Eugene worriedly asked.
"Oh my god, love! A reindeer riding a low rider is coming after you!" Sven's lowrider speeds towards Eugene. "What did you just sa-" Eugene didn't get to finish his sentence as he gets run over in a Looney Tunes style impact. "YAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW" Eugene screams in a Tom from Tom and Jerry voice.
"HEY KRISTOFF OVER HERE!" Olaf points towards the camera.
[Verse 3]
OG-OLAF: BEAT SWITCH BITCH
ANTARTIC, ALARMING
ANTARTIC, ALARMING
OFFEND ME OFFEND ME
Amidst all the chaos, screaming, and people running, Elsa looks gobsmacked; Rapunzel has fainted; Eugene is screaming on the floor from getting run over; and Anna looks pissed beyond belief.
Olaf then calls out the next verse. "AND NOW FOR THE SKIMASKTHESEQUELVERSE BIIIIITCH"
Anna then throws the boombox outside and destroys it in the process.
"Oh thank god my part sucked" SkiMaskTheSequel sighs in relief.
"I mean it was literally just you saying "WE DA BEST" over and over so of course it sucked" Olaf said to SkiMask. "Ya got all that, K-PESO?"
"Unfortunately yes."
"Oh, you ARE unfortunate now "Que Paso"!" Anna walked up to Kristoff with a look that's ready to kill.
"NONON ANNA IT'S K-Pe-" The camera turned off abruptly before Kristoff could finish his sentence.
The next morning, Rapunzel is leaving the castle, really upset, with Eugene, who is in a wheelchair with multiple casts.
"Oh my god, I'm never visiting here again!" Rapunzel says this with frustration. "WHAT, No!" Anna whines. "Well, aside from Anna-related shenanigans, obviously." Rapunzel reassures Anna.
"Really? YES! FIST BUMP-" Anna gets interrupted by Rapunzel. "Anna, I'm really pissed right now, so please fist bump someone else, preferably Olaf. In the head. Reapetedly." Rapunzel says this with a straight poker face to Anna.
"*angry muffled noises*" Eugene screams through his castle while he tries to move in vain. Then Rapunzel carries the wheelchair on the boat back to Corona. "Come on, honey, let's go!" Anna and Elsa run and try to approach them, but stop themselves. "I swear this whole disaster was worse than the Volcano incident!" Rapuznel can be heard screaming before being out of Elsa and Anna's sight.
A beat is followed by Elsa with her hand buried in her face, muttering to herself.. "Well… at least Cassandra will have something to be happy about."
"What?" Anna is taken aback.
"Nothing." Elsa responds rather quickly.
As Elsa and Anna turn around to the destroyed entrance, the Iceman Squad is passing weed to each other in the hall while watching their laptop.
Elsa just rubs her temples. "Where. To even. Begin."
Anna starts. "Oh actually i know WHY DID YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF IN THIS KRISTOFF?!"
"Yes!" Elsa piggybacks off of Anna. "Is that what you were involving yourself in while i was planning out for this?! You were in a…in a…actually i don't even know what this whole thing is! For some reason your old looking cars and these random snowman and and and-sven In a car just- and tHE COST OF THE DAMAGES-"
"Elsa Elsa Elsa! Breathe." Anna rubs Elsa's shoulders to help her relax.
"Conceal don't feel Conceal don't feel Conceal don't f-"
"Hey hey!" Kristoff starts to explain himself. "For the record, Sven went into the lowrider, and i had to chase him! The Iceman Squad just followed me and did whatever they wanted!"
"K-PESO, throwing us under the bus again, huh?" Olaf snidely says this to Kristoff.
"IceMan Squad"?! "K-Paso"?!" Elsa questions. "What are you in a GANG?!"
Then the Iceman Squad gasps in shock while ECCOCYDE coughs uncontrollably from the gasp and weed.
"THAT IS DISCRIMINATORY, FUCKA." Fractal Fabio shouts in indignation.
"w-What?! Sorry, Mr. Snowman! I didn't mean it lik-" Elsa gets interrupted.
"GUYS!….." Anna sighs. "I think Olaf is in a rap group."
Elsa is not impressed. "Oh dear god."
"YUH" Fractal Fabio does an adlib.
"Yes, i think Olaf saw all these music videos online of rap groups becoming super viral and wanted to get his Soundcloud tracks popular." Anna explains it to Elsa.
"Soundcloud? The site where i listen to my book podcasts?" Elsa asks with a confused tone.
"Els, they upload more than that. They upload rap songs in the hope of getting on a label."
It cuts to a montage with Matrix-era music of Anna researching all night these explanations of Soundcloud rap.
"I searched the entire night through Olaf's dinky computer doing research to get an answer for why he did this! I discovered that Soundcloud rap is a genre built upon aggressive, catchy refrains and contains lyrics with themes like cash, violence, alcohol, and a loooot of drugs. And since rap groups are becoming popular, Olaf decided to do one entirely out of snowmen!… and Kristoff!" Anna explains with both arms crossed and Elsa's glasses on.
Elsa is seen clapping with a smile, proud of Anna's detective work. "I'm impressed!"
"THANKZ BOY WERE GONNA MAKE IT OUTT-" Olaf shreaks.
"Not with you!" Elsa scolds Olaf. "Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out why you did such a lunatic spiraling out of control type thing Kristoff!"
"Seriously, did the rock trolls drop too hard on your head, Kristofer?" Anna is seriously annoyed.
Kristoff then tries to fully explain himself. "Anna, you know i owe my life to this snowman!"
"What?! How?!"
"Don't you remember the story?" Kristoff then looks to the horizon with a dark look on his face. "The Volcano Incident.."
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
"Oh god." Anna knows where this is going.
"He… he saved the town of Arendelle…he.." Kristoff gets teary eyed. "He saved my life.."
"I know the story, Kris."
"And this goddamn world would have turned into a sea of ashes…if it wasn't for this absolute hero-!"
"OH MY SWEET LORD SLAP MY NUTS, ICEMAN SQUAD CHECK THIS SHIT OUT" Olaf informs all the Iceman Squad, and they gather over the laptop. They are all simultaneously yelling questions of what is going on before Olaf brings up the news. "The video has gotten over a billion views!"
"OH MY GOD DUDE" Kristoff is hyped up to the moon.
"WE FUCKING DID IT" Olaf cheers.
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" The entire squad screams in pure elation.
"NA NA NAAAAA NAAAAA" Olaf starts singing as Kristoff joins in "NA NA NAAAA NAAAA" And then the entire squad sings in unison. "AREEEEENDELLLLEEE. GOOOOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
Anna looks pissed to no end with her eye twitching. Elsa is pretty much dissociating. "Why did i create Olaf Why did i create Olaf Why did i create Olaf Why did i create Olaf-"
Elsa, as punishment for Kristoff and Olaf, trapped them in a medium-sized house made of ice. Now Olaf, Kristoff, and the rest of the squad are checking out the feedback and views of their viral video.
"Dude, this fucking shit is in the stratosphere with these views! 3 BILLION." Olaf excitedly claims.
"Comments." ECCOCYDE says flatly.
"What?" Olaf just asks.
"The comments, brah. Are the people feelin it?"
"What are they saying about my part?!" SkiMaskTheSequel worryingly asks.
"You didn't have one dumbass." Olaf deflects.
SkiMaskTheSequel looks rather worried. "B-but what about the Soundcloud comments on my pa-"
"it just says "L + he's onto nothing" over and over" Olaf bluntly points out to SkiMaskTheSequel, who now looks very sad.
"HOLY SHIT I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF HERE." Kristoff screams as he's freezing and shivering.
"Skill issue." Olaf says.
"Da comments maaaaan" ECCOCYDE says while high as hell.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE FINE I'LL READ THE COMMENTS."
Kristoff is banging on the hard ice, yelling for help. "ELSA LET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASE"
Olaf checks the YouTube video comments and all of a sudden has an autotune voice. "And the comments saAaAaAaAaAaAaAay-"
All the comments are the freezing emoji and the laughing emoji together, pointing at a trash can.
Olaf sees the comments straight-faced, and finally he sighs in disappointment.
Olaf suddenly has a serious voice. "Well, i guess it's time to highlight the elephant in the room, huh?"
Kristoff sighs as well. "I'm sorry, Olaf."
"No i know, I know. i think it's time to face facts..time to grow up, you know?" Olaf looks around at the other Iceman Squad members, and they look like they know what the problem is. "We've got something fundamentally broken holding us back here... I think it's time to end that, guys."
"YOU RIGHT" "Yeah..." Fractal Fabio and Tsunami Boi agree.
"Yeah, it's hard..." Olaf is now getting emotional. "I'i-m sorry i can't take it right now i need to sit down!"
Then, as he approaches the chair, Olaf completely changes expression, takes the chair, and throws it to the ice window, breaking it. And then he rapidly takes SkiMaskTheSequel and throws him out the window.
"DON'T COME BACK YOU FUCKING HACK" Olaf says goodbye to SkiMaskTheSequel. "YEAH YOUR PART WAS SHIT BITCH" Fractal Fabio passionately screams.
"Good, now that chapter's in the past. Alright guys, we have to hold auditions for a new member." Olaf immediately gets down to business. "I mean, i'm right here." Kristoff points it out.
"You do the behind-the-scenes shit, K-PESO! Now get us a new member!"
"Sure OG-OLAF!" Kristoff says with a loyal expression as he runs and prints outside the window of the ice house.
"HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THERE?!" Elsa screams in frustration.
"I mean, you created ice furniture that can be broken." Kristoff points this out to Elsa.
Elsa gives a look that says "...oh" and stays silent, like she's been defeated.
"Besides, it was cold as hell." Kristoff says.
"...H-H-How is hell col-? Whatever. Two hours passed, so there's your punishment. And besides, Anna is furious with you. She's probably in her bedroom sulking right now."
The scene cuts to Anna dancing in her bedroom to a random rap song. "OH MAN, THIS RESEARCH PAID OFF!" Anna cheerfully says.
"And I'M too BUSY fixing this goddamn hall." Elsa is at the limit of her patience.
"Can't you just create snowmen to fix the hall for you?" Kristoff says to her.
"I've!-... Actually..."
Cut to Elsa creating a bunch of snowmen of varying sizes and gathering them to plan how to fix the hall and entrance.
"Okay! Pookie will focus on fixing the statues. Bimmy and Jimmy, you go ahead and pick the-"
And while Elsa gives orders to the snowmen, Kristoff sneakily steals little Pookie, a 2-ball short snowman, off the row of snowmen and rapidly runs to the ice house.
The Iceman Squad sees Pookie in absolute bewilderment. "Uuuhhh, so what can this dorky snow person do?" Olaf asks Kristoff. "I mean, actually, I don't know. Pookie?"
Pookie just sits there smiling innocently while making cute cartoon noises.
"...I can teach him guitar lessons."
"Fucker looks like he sings It's A Small World all day" Tsunami Boi says.
"Fucker looks like he could use some of that sticky icky icky" ECCOCYDE says.
"FUCKA LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS A HELMET" Fractal Fabio shouts.
The Iceman Squad simultaneously gets all up in arms about the implication and all say "WOAH WOAH WOAH" simultaneously.
"That's offensive, Fabio!" Tsunami Boi is offended by the comment.
"Yeah, that's offensive to retarded people!" Olaf exclaims confidently.
"HEY YOU CAN'T BE SAYING THAT, OG-OLAF." ECCOCYDE says to Olaf.
"Always gotta be fucking correcting me, huh ECCOCYDE?!"
"YEAH YOU FUCKIN WITH COMPUTER CULTURE?" Fractal Fabio says it all up in ECCOCYDE's face.
"PC Culture! Don't yell in my ear maaann!"
Tsunami Boi then tries to stop the conversation. "We gotta make peace in this b, that's what true hip-hop stands by!"
"SHUT UP TSUNAMI BOI" Everyone in the Iceman Squad says.
And now everybody is at each other's throats, screaming over each other. And now Kristoff is looking to find a solution. Even though he thinks he is a little snowman, he is the only one who believes in Pookie and looks at him with a knowing smile. Pookie looks at Kristoff with a big, innocent smile.
Kristoff then just mouths to Pookie. "You can do it."
Pookie then smiles and exhales. He interrupts the entire Iceman Squad from their fight, and then he starts singing, with the voice of Frank Ocean, a beautiful song about Christmas.
"If it briings me to my kneeeeeess, It's a christmas traditioooooooooon, ooooooooh unrequited snooowwww!"
And now, the entire Iceman Squad looks at him in amazement as he sings the song; Olaf sheds a tear; and Kristoff looks proud of Pookie as he finishes the song.
Pookie then looks happy as he keeps making cute cartoon snowman noises.
Olaf finally looks satisfied. "Guys…we found our hook."
"Pookie?!" Elsa screams. "Where are you? Bimmy, Jimmy, you have to find Pookie so we can finish fixing the-AAAAH!" Elsa jumps out of the way as a random black van rushes in, breaking the entrance of the castle, making some mess out of the hall, and stopping suddenly.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Elsa screams in frustration.
Out of the van come two men in black suits. One of the men speaks to Elsa. "THIS IS IMPORTANT. WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE ICEMAN SQUAD."
Elsa immediately gets pissed and points to the ice house, far from the castle. "OH, THERE THEY ARE"
"Thank you, Ms. Arendelle." The men thank Elsa as one of them sprints to the ice house and throws himself inside the broken window. The Iceman Squad screams in shock in unison.
"WHAT THE FUCK" Olaf is shocked.
The man in black then says to Olaf: "YOUR GROUP ICEMAN SQUAD HAS BEEN CHOSEN TO SIGN A DEAL WITH RCA RECORDS."
Olaf's eyes light up like he's finally done it, and with an amazed face, he takes ECCOCYDE's lighter and sets a fire to melt the ice house in order for them to have room to jump around and celebrate.
"YEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The Iceman Squad and Kristoff all happily cheer and celebrate, running to the black van with the random men and then driving off, finally making it out of Arendelle. Anna gets out of the castle, wondering what's with the noise.
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Elsa pretty much has a "I'm done" face.
Behind the castle, SkiMaskTheSequel can be seen crying as he missed his chance. "Fuck! I-i-i told my m-mom i would be f-famous!"
commercial break
After one week, Elsa is seen working in the office castle as Anna accompanied her. "Oh, thank the Lord and heavens above, they're not here now." Elsa sighs in relief.
"Hey, at least the entrance is fixed now!"
"Yeah, barely. Don't touch the little crack, PLEASE, Anna."
"Crack Rock Crack Rock Crack Rock Crack Rock" Anna chants. A moment of silence passes.
Elsa just flatly says, "What."
"Hah! S-Sorry. The research i did really tuned me in to the best music i've heard in a while!"
"Uuuugh, Annaaaaaa" Elsa whines in exhaustion from her work.
"What? This is how I get off my anger at Kristoff for this incident; just let me have this."
"Is that the reason why i heard you scream in your room?" Elsa questions Anna: "…uuh was it something about "Slapping a-"?"
"THEN I SLAP YOUR BITCH. YEAHHHHH-" "Anna!"
"Geez, we're not kids anymore. It's better than your Operas from Year 2, at least."
"Year 2. Haha." Elsa sarcastically remarks. "Speaking of Kristoff, where is he anyway with that gang?"
"Rap Group, Elsa." Anna corrects Elsa. "And all he sent me in was a text message saying: "Too busy creating the best album of all time cause we're dope and we do dope shit brb bye"
"Great. Just great." Elsa says deadpanned.
Meanwhile, the Iceman Squad is now recording their first studio album at the booth of RCA Records, located in New York. Tensions are definitely rising.
[INTRO]
Olaf: RCA RECORDS BITCHES. WE MADE IT
Fractal Fabio: WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SELL CRACK OR SUCK DICK YAH
ECCOCYDE: Yeah mang were da bud at
Tsunami Boi: REAL HIP HOP 2012
Pookie: *cute snowman cartoon voices*
Olaf: POOKIE YOU'RE FUCKING US UP BITCH
[The beat abruptly stops]
"Wooah, dude, Pookie's just being enthusiastic!" Krisotff says while he's behind the booth recording.
"Fuck that, he fucking us up!" Olaf complains to Kristoff. "We have to be perfect at this. We've FINALLY made it out of Arendelle; it's time to really fucking prove ourselves in the snowman game!
"But we can't be just doing generic ass SoundCloud rap anymore." Tsunami Boi tries to bring it up. "We have to be more ambitious and have, like, a message and shit man!"
"How about you massage my balls Tsunami Boi because people don't care about that shit!" Olaf rudely says.
"Ya dont have balls OG-Ola-" ECCOCYDE tries to correct before getting interrupted.
"AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CORRECTING ECCOCYDE"
"Why are you always bothering me, man!" ECCOCYDE is getting increasingly annoyed with Olaf.
"Go smoke a pack of Mary Jane, ECCO. That's all you do anyway." Tsunami Boi tries to diss ECCO.
"Maaan now you too? Gangin up on a snowhomie, you weak! You WEAK!"
"LET ME TELL YOU. ABOUT A PORCUPINE'S BALLS." Fractal Fabio screams into the microphone.
"Fabio the mic is not recording." Olaf points this out.
"TENSIONS IS DEFINITELY RISING RRRRAH"
Kristoff has his head in his hands and looks tired. "Okay guys, we recorded around 29 takes, and we're not getting anywhere."
"Because Pookie over here doesn't know how to goddamn rap. He can only do hooks, and that's it!" Olaf complains about Pookie's position in the squad.
"Hey Olaf, remember Pookie did a great job on "So Much Snow Thinkin I'm In Canada"." Kristoff reminds Olaf. "He added the soul this group needed!"
Then Olaf, out of nowhere, starts singing really badly in an attempt to be soulful. "Hey we have PLENTY OF THE R&B MARVIN GAYE ASS SoOUL. Have you even checked those comments about it!?"
"It said soulless, OG-Ola-" ECCOCYDE, in vain, tries to say something.
"CORRECT ME AGAIN YOU FUCKING JUNKIE"
Pookie, in his Frank Ocean voice, starts singing to ease the tension. " Guys You're Loooost! Looosst in the Heat of it Alllll~ "
"...oh my god, you're right. We are in our own heads." Olaf completely changes his mood for the sake of Pookie. "Thank you once again, Pookie. FOR BRINGING ME TO THE LIGHT!"
Pookie smiles brightly at Olaf.
ECCOCYDE then goes to whisper in Pookie's ear. "Eyyy thanks pookie for saving me back there brotha." As a response, Pookie gives a little cheer. "Mannnn..you cool." ECCOCYDE says.
"Okay guys!" Kristoff brings the focus back. "RCA Records gave us a budget, and we can't fail like the other boyband that got here, so LET'S MAKE THIS ALBUM THE BEST OF ALL TIME!"
The Iceman Squad simultaneously cheers and says the "Iceman Squad Represent" chant.
Elsa has gathered the Snowgies and Snowmen in the mountains to send them on a mission. "Listen up, dear Snowgies, this is officially The Search for Pookie Expedition! Sassy and Lassy will be the leaders, and Bimmy and Jimmy will give me updates on how the search is going!"
"We will find Pookie, Queen of Arendelle!" Sassy, the snowman, and Lassy, the snowgirl, say it in unison.
"Come on, ya big Snowgies. Let's find our sweet comrade and bring the snow army together!" Sassy brings inspiring words to the snowgies in his British voice.
"Oh Sassy, you know exactly what to say~~~!" Lassy fawns over her dear husband, Sassy.
"COME ON SNOWGIES, HIYAAAAA!" Sassy hits the carriage of Snowgies, and they run towards the top of the mountain on their adventure to find Pookie.
"Godspeed, my Snowgies!" Elsa shouts into the distance while waving a handkerchief. "Go find my precious Pookie!"
The Snowgies go into the sunset as Sassy and Lassy put their swords in the sky.
"SPREAD THEM ASSCHEEKS. GET TO YOUR SEATS. CAUSE WERE ABOUT TO SEND YA TO THE ICEMAN PLANET BITCH!" Olaf finishes his verse. "How was that?"
"That was the last verse recorded on the album! Good job, guys!" Kristoff tells the good news to the squad. They begin to celebrate and give hi-fives all around. "Now all we need to do is master, produce, edit the 90s R&B samples, and add the strings to make it sound like a meaningful event album!"
"hahahahaha GODDAMN IT I FORGOT." Olaf screams in confusion.
"Dude, you're exiting the world of Fruity Loops and entering the tiring realm of producing and releasing a full-budget record!" Kristoff says to Olaf.
"Full budget my ass!" Tsunami Boi says. "We don't need a bunch of bells and whistles to communicate that the Iceman Squad is better than every mumble rapper in the world! We are lyrical and spherical and cyclical an-"
"Tsunami Boi, no offense but i'd rather get hit by an actual tsunami than listen to you." Olaf insults Tsunami Boi. "Like, Alaska 1958 type shit, sounds like a vacation right now."
"spiritual and magical and mythical-"
"OH. There's the orchestra i ordered!" Kristoff brings the local orchestra to do some freeform sessions. "Okay boys, 3, 2, 1, go!". The orchestra plays a free-form emotional tune that sounds like the beginning of a movie.
"Now That's What I Call Grammy Bait Vol. 37, baby! This is gonna fucking destroy!" Olaf is excited about the sessions.
"Oh come on" Tsunami Boi still has his doubts. "Just by adding an overly emotional string session over us screaming isn't gonna fool the critic-"
Cut to a party where the Iceman Squad is swimming in a money pool in their rented mansion.
"THE STRINGS FUCKING WORKED THEY FUCKING WORKED I LOVE YA OLAAAAAF" Tsunami Boi exclaims to the sky.
And so, the critics and most of the public made the first Iceman Squad album "Even Da Squad Getz Lonely 2" platinum, getting it put on Top Ten Albums of the Year lists in publications such as Industry Plant Magazine and even winning a Grammy.
Meanwhile, the Snowgies are still on the search for Pookie in the city of New York, as they're trapped in the traffic of the Big Apple.
"Oh Sassy! Whatever shall we do to finally find our Pookie?" Lassy laments in the midst of the traffic.
"Do not worry, my dear Lassy; he must be somewhere here in this disgusting sewer of filth that they call the Big Apple!"
"How did we even get from Arendelle to the Big Apple" Bimmy asks.
"With the power of hope and love, my intrepid Jimmy!"
"It's Bimmy." Bimmy corrects Sassy.
"Anyway, my comrades! It's time to take a break!" Sassy commands and points to a big concert. "To the Opera House!"
So the Snowgies jump over the cars and go to the supposed opera house. Miles and miles are run, and they finally enter green pastures. It's not an opera house. It's Coachella.
"What a strange opera house, my dear Sassy!" Lassy says to her husband.
The snow doggies get startled by the sudden cheering of the audience. As they look upon the stage, a certain squad shows up to do a performance.
"WHAT'S UP YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT" Olaf screams into the audience. For some reason, they cheer. Olaf whispers to ECCOCYDE. "See you can say anything- START THE SONG".
And then the beat to their new song "I'm Sad (Because Frosty is Melting)" starts.
[Verse 1]
Tsunami Boi: Oh boy my mental health is colder than a brain freeze
Your compliments are about as cheesy as a swiss cheese
I thank the lord above for all that he's given me
Being able to rap at Madison Square Garden 2023
"IT'S COACHELLA YOU IDIOT!" Olaf screams in frustration at Tsunami Boi. "Fuck, i fucked up!".
Some boos can be heard through the audience for the mistake.
"RRAHHH!"
"THAT'S RIGHT FABIO SCREAM" Olaf cheers at Fabio.
And Fractal Fabio does an uninterrupted scream...for five minutes. While he's convulsing on the floor.
"Oh my fucking god." Olaf is absolutely embarrassed, as the audience is getting incredibly annoyed. "ECCOCYDE! Do your sensitive boy shtick!"
And ECCOCYDE finally looks like he's done with this whole thing. "No Olaf."
"It's OG OL-"
"NO! I'm tired of your treating me like dirt for the past few months! So you know what? You can take your mid as fuck verses in this mediocre ass group and SHOVE EM MAN!" As he spills his feelings, ECCOCYDE goes to the left to leave the stage and the squad.
"No..NO! DONT YOU DARE LEAVE ME ECCOCYDE!"
"Oh, and my real name is Franklin!" And then ECCOCYDE just leaves. Olaf is getting desperate, so he calls upon his last chance at saving the show.
"P-Pookie! Sing yo-" Pookie is nowhere to be seen.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS POOKIE?!"
Sassy and Lassy can be seen carrying Pookie in their carriage while people are doing them a favor with a stage dive. "OH MY SWEET SASSY! WE FINISHED THE MISSION!" Lassy is overjoyed. "INDEED, MY LOVELY LASSY! OUR COMRADE IN ACTION POOKIE HAS BEEN RESCUED!" As they are celebrating, Pookie is happy just to be at a concert and see his crew again.
The audience is throwing garbage and cans at the rest of the Iceman Squad. And Olaf just falls on his knees and yells.
"N-no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A certain someone is reading an Internet article with the titular headline: "Iceman Squad Members Pookie and ECCOCYDE Leave After Disastrous Coachella Performance."
"What in the absolute fuck." Anna says to herself while reading the article.
"ANNA! THE SNOWGIES FOUND POOKIE!" Elsa calls out downstairs.
Now outside, Elsa is hugging Pookie as he gives her a little peck. "Oh, Pookie, i missed you!" And then Pookie sings to her out of nowhere. " ? I've been thinkin bout youuuu?" Elsa looks utterly confused. "Ummm, me too Pook." As she ignores the singing, she goes to shake Sassy's hands. "Oh my god, thank you Snowgies! You must of went through one hell of an adventure!"
"Yes yes! We found him in the big apple! And at the heart of it all, when we went to the Opera House, we found a so-called IceMan Squadron, and it turns out the little rascals had taken Pookie hostage!
"Oh Sassy how can i ever thank-Iceman what."
Now Elsa is reading the article in her office.
"I'm going to kill him." Elsa says it with a straight face.
"I-i know how you feel" SkiMaskTheSequel says with understanding towards Elsa, as she gets startled by his sudden presence. "Wh-who are you?!"
"I'm SkiMaskT-..uh... I'm George."
"Uh-huh. Wait, are you one of the Iceman Gang members?" Elsa asks George.
"Squad! It's a s-squad. And i used to be until they kicked me out." George explains.
"Oh…."
"Yeahhh…" George sighs, looking sad. "I hope they told G-Swizzle that i'm not in the group anymore."
"G-Swizzle?" Elsa questions.
"That was our friend helping out the group in the early stages; his name is Marshmallow, you k-know, like the big giant in the mountain?"
Elsa is confounded. "….Marshmallow was running a rap grou?! -Whatever. Why did they kick you out, George?"
George just starts neurotically talking without stopping: "Because i suck and i'm terrible at rapping and i'm a failure and my mom thinks i'm a loser freeloader and i hate myself so mu-"
"WOAH WOAH! George! Calm down! Take a deep breath.." Elsa tries to calm George down. As he takes an exagerated deep breath, Elsa looks at him with sympathy.
"George, you're not any of those things. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful snowman. More than Olaf will ever be."
George tries to keep a serious face...before immediately breaking down with tears in his eyes. He's just saying "Thank you!" over and over again in Elsa's lap.
Elsa, surprised, comforts him. "Oh George. It's okay! It's okay…"
As George sniffles a bit, he calms down. "St-still, the Iceman Squad treated me pretty bad."
"Yes, Olaf is a total jerk…" Elsa says as she suddenly gets an idea. "….in fact, George, i say we should do something about the Iceman Squad."
"Wh-what?"
"Something.." Elsa says as she has a camera in her hand. "..to help you get justice."
The Iceman Squad is shocked while looking at the internet article: "SkiMaskTheSequel Reveals Horrible Working Environment With Iceman Squad In Video Confession."
"THAT LITTLE BITCH" Olaf angrily says.
"I mean, you treated him pretty badly, OG-Olaf." Kristoff points it out.
"Could give less of a shit about that."
"That means you do care." Kristoff says.
"WHATEVS MAN." Olaf dismisses Kristoff. "Well, at the very least, he was just some nobody snowman that you found on the street."
"Um….." Kristoff rubs his hand against the back of his head. "Yeaahhhhhhhhhhhh….."
In a snowman neighborhood in the mountains, a bunch of snowmen are talking over each other as they run over to a snow house. "Yeah man, this will not do!" "That fucking Iceman Squad is so goddamn dead!" "Nobody hurts the homie George like that!"
A snowman, sitting in the shadows on the porch of his house, questions the young group of snowmen. "Woah, what's all this hubub?"
"Mr. West, you heard the news about George."
"What? What happened to George? Wasn't he in a group?"
"That's the thing! The Iceman Squad treated him like shit and kicked him out! Man, you know our homie George be sensitive, we can't let this slide!"
The snowman in the shadows, silently and slowly, gets up from his chair and says, "This is why i retired out of rap, man..."
Then he finally appears in the light—a 40-year-old snowman with a snow beard. This snowman is the formerly famous retired rapper Snowy West. "My nephew will not be attacked by some wannabe boyband squad." Bring the Snowy West Gang in and tell them to attack the IceMan Squad wherever they are going." Snowy West coldly says.
"I don't know where they are going!" "Wait man, it says in the news that they are going back to Arendelle to figure some shit out."
"But where do they locate at?" Snowy West questions the young snowman.
"Don't you know? He's an industry plant because he got off the castle of Queen Elsa Arendelle."
Snowy West looks intently to the horizon and spots the castle in the distance. He points at it. "Bingo."
"Don't worry, George." Elsa reassures George. "I'm sure the Iceman Squad is over and done by now." Anna is there by her side and notices something coming towards her in the distance, directly at the castle. "Um, Elsa?" Anna says.
"And all of those mean snowmen that did you wrong are lonely and bad anyway!" Elsa says to George. "Th-thanks Ms. Elsa, b-but can you.." George gets nervous. "..please speak to me like i'm not a kid-"
"And widdle Georgey Pordgey is going to be safe now with me, okay?" Elsa says it condescendingly.
"Elsa!" Anna says to her. She is too busy hugging George to the point of squeezing him too hard.
"And we're going to live happily ever after with all the snowm-"
"ELSA, MOVE OUT!" Anna screams before running to the left.
"And its- AAAHHHHHHH!"
Elsa and George move out of the way as a van breaks the entrance of the castle once again. Then, the Iceman Squad gets out of the van. "ICEMAN SQUA-"
"Yeah represent yeah yeah let's get this shit over with" Olaf says rapidly. "Where's SkiMaskTheSequel?!"
"Would everybody stop DESTROYING THE ENTRANCE!?" Elsa screams in utter rage.
"Oh nononoNNONONONO-" George is terrified by the sudden state of events.
"Look, SkiMask" Olaf tries to convince George. "Since we've got no Pookie and no ECCOCYDE anymore in this goddamn group, it's time for the sequel... of SkiMaskTheSequel, the next era in our group!"
"You have to come back, Geo-I MEAN SKIMASK" Tsunami Boi corrects himself.
"BALLS" Fractal Fabio spouts.
"Oh my god GET AWAY FROM ME!" George is terrified of seeing Olaf again.
"George you gotta get a grip! The bitches in the mansion are waiting for your-" Olaf tries to convince George before getting grabbed by the neck by Elsa.
"YOU TOOK MY POOKIE." Elsa says this in fury at Olaf.
"Ohohohohohohohohooooo, heeeeyy Elsa-" Olaf gets interrupted.
"The amount of punishment i'm going to put you through will be infinite, Olaf! Infinite."
The Snowy West crew is driving across the mountains on motorcycles, as West is looking out for blood.
"Hey! There you are, Kristoff!" Anna notices Kristoff as he gets out of the van. "You are going to have to explain soooo much!
Kristoff, before noticing Anna, sees in the distance a group of snowmen with motorcycles.
"Oh….Oh no…" Kristoff already knows it's over.
"YOU DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE SAYING OH NO!" Anna is really goddamn mad.
"Goddamnit, i suspected this! Olaf! IceMaskTheSequel-" Kristoff tries to tell Olaf the truth.
"Yes yes i know he's coming with us right now!" Olaf says.
"DON'T TOUCH GEORGE OR POOKIE EVER AGAIN." Elsa shrieks with fire in her eyes.
"DAMN THESE FISHSTICKS BE HARD AS TITS." Fractal Fabio screams.
"OLAF! I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH!" Kristoff tries getting to Olaf.
"THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT DA TRUTH BY NAS." Olaf says it out of nowhere.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FISHTICK TITS FABIO" Tsunami Boi says.
"OLAF, SKIMASK WASN'T JUST A RANDOM NOBODY!" Kristoff tells Olaf.
"OLAF I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU A NOBODY" Elsa growls at Olaf in his face.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Anna screams in confusion.
"OH MY GOD! UNCLE WEST!" George notices Snowy West.
And so, the Snowy Gang stops their motorcycles in front of the castle as Snowy West takes off his helmet, steps into the snow, and just glares at the Iceman Squad.
"Oh my god….it's…" Olaf says it solemnly before immediately getting excited. "AAAAAAAAHHHH! IT'S SNOWY WEST OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAD HE'S MY HERO!" Olaf fanboys over the retired rapper.
"He..he's your what now?" Anna is confused by the statement.
"Uncle! What are you doing here?!" George says, surprised by his uncle's appearance.
"YEAHHHHHHH….wait…uncle?" Olaf is then confused.
Snowy West gives the call. "Fire the snowballs."
Suddenly, shots. Hundreds and hundreds of snowballs are coming from the guns of the Snowy Gang. Everybody gets absolutely pelted by them helplessly.
"WHAT THE HELL AHHHHHH!" Anna gets hit.
"JESUS CHRIST GAHHHHH" Elsa gets one right in the stomach.
"OH SHIT GOD WHAT THE FUCK SNOWY STOOP FUCK" Olaf gets hundreds right through his chest.
"THAT'S FOR FUCKING WITH MY NEPHEW" Snowy West screams in the midst of the chaos.
They keep screaming, and Anna tries to hide, but all she can do is scream. "SASSY! LASSY! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP THIS! AAAAAHHH!"
Sassy is in a romantic date with Lassy inside the castle while they are dismissive of the noise.
"Shall i compare thee, to a summer's day, my Lass?"
"Oh Sassy!"
"OLAF SAVE ME! AHHHHHHHH" Kristoff screams as he's trapped in a pile of snowballs.
"MY SOUL IS GOING TO HEAVEN FINALLY NOOOOOOOO" Tsunami Boi laments his sudden death.
"RRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAHRRAH" Fractal Fabio is screaming adlibs every time a snowball hits him.
Elsa is in a pile of snow, and then uses her powers to destroy it and get out of there. Elsa is absolutely livid and has had enough. So she uses her wind powers to levatate the Snowy Gang.
"What-what the f-?!" Snowy West and the gang are levitated in the air. Before they can say anything, Elsa screams as she throws the snowmen to the mountains in the horizon.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Snowy West screams as he goes into the distance "YOU COWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa..." A ding in the sky is heard.
George is simply flabbergasted. " What the absolu-"
"Oh god oh god oh god! I'm sorry, George! I'm sure that your uncle is fine!" Elsa says nerviously.
Screaming can be heard in the distance. Something along the lines of "MY LEG".
Kristoff finally manages to get out of the pile of snow while coughing uncontrollably. But he sees Olaf with multiple holes in his snowman body. "Oh! Oh god! OLAF!"
Olaf starts coughing extremely hard from the snowballs.
"i-…i'm going to…to meet the sky….homies…." Tsunami Boi laments.
"rrrrrrrrrrrr….rrrrrrrrahhh" Fractal Fabio barely manages to squeak out.
Pookie comes out of the castle doors to see the Iceman Squad and sees them almost dead. Looking very sad and worried, he comes over to them.
"Pookie, no!" Elsa tries to protect Pookie and fails.
"Olaf! Olaf you have to stay here! Don't leave me man! Don't leave!" Kristoff screams at Olaf while he's in his arms. Pookie is giving sad whimpers by Olaf's side.
"My…uncle did this…" George says to himself. "I-I did this…."
Olaf then started coughing. "No-no…George… this is just how the game works.." Then he starts coughing more.
"Come on man, you have more time!" Kristoff gets desperate.
"Kris…..i'm…i'm sorry…..Thank you brother… For everything…"
And then, Olaf dies.
Kristoff is absolutely devastated. And with a single tear streaming from his cheek, he holds Olaf.
"No...NO!...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Pookie is crying snow tears. Everyone is dead. Kristoff is crying out to the sky. George looks depressed. Anna is getting a little teary-eyed, and then she makes eye contact with Elsa to imply something.
Elsa is pretty annoyed. She rolls her eyes as she sighs and does her magic to slowly bring them back to life.
Pookie, sings one more mournful song, for Olaf's corpse: "Iiii iiii iii know you gotta leeeeave leeeaave leeeave, take down some summer tiiiiiime, Give uuup just toniiiight niiiight niiiiight"
The powers start working; Tsunami Boi gets slowly but surely revived; Fractal Fabio gets revived; and in Olaf's body, every hole is getting filled up with snow.
As this happens, Kristoff looks at Pookie, thinking that the power of love is saving his best friend.
"Iiii iiiii iiii know you got someone comiiiiiing, spittiiiiing game, oh you got it…." Pookie finishes his song.
"Oh god….what happened.." Olaf asks with a tired voice.
"O-Olaf?! OH MY GOD!" Kristoff looks at Olaf. Then, he starts crying as he hugs him tightly.
"Kristoff….I'm sorry for scaring you like that, brother." Olaf says to Kristoff. "Thank god…Thank fucking god…"
"Oh shit im alive!" Tsunami Boi is amazed.
"BACK FROM DA DEAD BITCH" Fractal Fabio exclaims.
"Pookie…" Olaf turns his head. "Thank you for reviving me…"
Pookie makes his happy snowman noises as he nuzzles his head against Olaf. And then the Iceman Squad slowly starts levitating.
"Wow! Pookie, you can do that?! You're making us fly!" "Oh my god, we're flying" Olaf and Kristoff say in amazement as Elsa sneakily levitates Pookie back to her arms.
The entire squad starts laughing in amazement with a carefree tone. It's a magical sight... until Elsa moves her hand and throws them to the mountains.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." They scream as they fly to the horizon until they can't be heard.
"You didn't have to do that to Kristoff, but thank you anyway, Els." Anna says to Elsa cheerfully.
"No problem. God, I need a drink." Elsa says tired as hell. "Thank you, Pookie for the cover-up." Pookie cheers in excitement.
George just looks confused.
The Iceman Squad is now holding a conference in New York to address the feud between Snowy West and the squad. Tons of people are there, and Olaf is speaking for the rest of the group at the microphone. As he speaks, inspirational music is playing.
"When we were in the mountains, Kristoff was explaining to the rest of the Snowy West crew that our whole beef was a silly distraction from the real problems of the world." Olaf says this to all the reporters. "...and that's how i, the Iceman Squad, and Snowy West, talked it out, and now we are here to announce: That the Iceman Squad and Snowy West will give our greatest gift, to the world…"
"A COLLAB ALBUM BITCHES HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA." Olaf completely changes his attitude.
"That's right! Since ECCOCYDE is busy with his solo career and SkiMaskTheSequel pussed out, Snowy West, the retired rapper will be collabing with us for a full album!
Isn't this great!?"
"Thank you brotha, sorry for dissin your squad." Snowy says this while extending his hand to Olaf. "You will not regret this decision."
They shake hands as they squash the beef, giving smiles to the cameras.
Olaf, has indeed, finally made it out of Arendelle. And with Snowy West on his side, nothing could ever go wrong again.
[WELCOME TO ARENDELLE NEWS]
[Reporter: The newly popular rap group Iceman Squad, has been dropped from their label, RCA Records over their affiliation with anti-semitic former rapper Snowy West. As well as over the abusive treatment of the members, especially the member SkiMaskTheSequel, who's real name is George West, indeed, the nephew of the already mentioned Snowy West. Aside from the approval of anti-semitic views and abuse within the group, they're getting sued as well, by the husband of Princess Rapunzel of Corona, Eugene Fitzherbert, for the quote un quote, "absolute destruction of his wedding and his physical well-being". He had this to say:]
[Eugene Fitzherbert: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO _ AND_]
[We had to censor some of his statements for foul language. The group's income has already been wasted in their rented mansion in New York, which has already been demolished, so the state of the Iceman Squad's is unknown to many of the public..]
Olaf is crying in his disheveled room and getting drunk as the TV reports all of this.
Elsa opens the door to see Olaf in his pathetic state. And with a smug smile, she says: "That's for breaking the castle entrance, BITCH."
She shuts the door.
[credits roll]
[end of episode]
Note: ECCOCYDE is working with Pookie now on his new album. George is now working as an avocado farmer. Tsunami Boi is now a Youtube Ranter who makes videos about how bad mumble rap is. Fractal Fabio. #FractalFabio
